The Fountain
by Sar1484
Summary: Bella is a Sophomore at the University of South Carolina who is in a bad relationship with her high school boyfriend.  Will one of her two best friends be the love she needs in order to escape her boyfriend, James?
1. Preston

**Hey Guys! This is my first fanfic. Have patience with me. I would love some positive feedback!**

**Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all characters therein.**

Preston

The fountain behind the Caroliniana Library was where I escaped when I needed to be away from the eyes and ears of Preston Residential College, my home while at school at the University of South Carolina. It was there that I sat participating in yet another ugly conversation with my boyfriend of three years, James. We began our relationship in high school. Whereas I decided to go away for school, he stayed at home and enrolled in University of North Carolina Charlotte. This was the third week in a row that he was blowing me off to stay in Charlotte. In fact, now that I was thinking about it, he had not come down all semester. This revelation did nothing for my current mood. The last time I saw him was when I went to visit my parents a few weeks prior. He spent the entire time we were together playing video games or trying to convince me to have sex with him. It is hard to be enticed to have sex with a guy who knows more about video games then he cares to know about you.

It was not always like this. We used to be happy, at least relatively so, and there was a time when we were equals in the relationship. The changes in the dynamic of our relationship occurred so gradually that I had only recently begun noticing the severity of the situation. I sat in the middle of a small courtyard on the edge of the fountain, surrounded by flowers, shrubs, and a newly laid brick walkway. Encompassing the courtyard is an old brick fence that acts as a barrier between the calm nature of the square and the frantic nature of downtown Columbia. The new brick of the walkway stands in stark contrast to the old worn brick of the fence. I loved how the newness of the courtyard seems to meld seamlessly with the age of the fence and the Caroliniana Library, which flanked two sides of the garden.

"Listen Bells," I hate that adaptation of my name. "I promised the guys I'd help with the repairs to the house that they just bought. I can't just blow them off when their house is all but uninhabitable. Can I?" Great, he was using the guilt tactic this week. Last week, the excuse was that he had to work. The weekend before that, he had a major paper that he had not begun until the last minute. Prior to that, there were a myriad of other excuses.

"Yes, you can, as you have blown off your promise to me, your girlfriend, for the last three weeks. You could just come down for one night, instead of the whole weekend. You never come down here anymore. I only see you when I drive up there." I tried to keep my voice calm yet strong. James never really responded well when challenged, but I was sick of not reacting when he hurt me. I braced myself for an even uglier turn in the conversation, as I stared at the running water of the fountain.

"Well, I'm sorry for the way things have been turning out lately, but I can't help that." If his tone had matched his words, then maybe I would be less irritated, but as it was, I did not believe he really felt that remorseful.

"Who the hell are these guys anyway? They sure aren't anyone we knew in high school." The truth was that the list of people left from high school who would still speak with him was becoming exponentially shorter. I did not have the heart or more accurately the courage to point that fact out to him now.

"Am I not allowed to have friends that you do not know? You have friends that I don't know or care to know for that matter."

"I'm not saying that you cannot have friends that I don't know. I have just never heard you talk about them until now. Do you even care whether you see me or not?" I let my hair fall in my face to shield me from any passerby's view.

"I do care, but I really have no desire to come down there and spend the weekend with a bunch of pretentious know-it-alls. Plus, your nagging me is not enticing me to make the trip either." I fidgeted with my keys as he said this. Now we were getting towards some semblance of the truth. The rest was just a smoke screen. He did not like my friends. I could not say I really blamed him. Though he could be full of himself, he was not blind. He could tell that they did not like him or even really respect him. When he came up the previous semester, they tried to get to know him, but were not impressed with what they saw or how he treated me.

"Those pretentious know-it-alls are my friends. You have not even made an effort to get to know them. You might really enjoy their company." As I said this, I questioned whether my friends would make the effort either at this point.

"I doubt that seriously. Bells, your 'friends' hate me and I hate them. If you want to come up this weekend fine, but I'm not coming down there." I switched the phone to the other ear and played with the water in the fountain as I sat there. The water felt cool to the touch against my hot skin. Though it was October, I felt like it was July. Maybe it was the anger that boiled within me.

"What kind of relationship is this if I am always the one that has to come to you? This is completely unfair." His retort was something I have heard several times before, but it never made it less hurtful.

"What are you going to do Bells? Breakup with me because I won't drive down there? You can go ahead, but I don't think you'll be able to find someone who will put up with your constant nagging and panic attacks. What guy in their right mind would want to put up with it Bella? You aren't good enough to find anyone else. Do you really think anyone there would want to date someone with your drama filled history? Do you?" The call dropped after that. I had no desire to call him back, and I knew I would not hear anything from him until Sunday night, maybe even longer than that. I slammed the phone shut and with a tear running down my check, and began my march around the fountain courtyard to brace myself for going back to Preston. My breathing was short and labored. I was having a mild panic attack. I slowed down my stride and focused on taking slow deep breaths to avoid hyperventilating.

I was angry, but it was not completely towards James. I was partly frustrated with myself. Recently, I had been sticking up to him more and making my feelings known, but then he pulls words out of his back pocket that hit hard and I lose my nerve. I was mad at myself for that, but the truth was that he was right about me. I was too neurotic to find someone who would willingly put up with me in a relationship besides James.

I continued walking and tried to temper the rising feeling of panic that boiled within me. I tried to shake off the all familiar feeling that whatever I did and who I was would never be good enough. I did not even look good enough to make my other flaws more acceptable. I had dark brown hair with nothing spectacular about it and eyes that depending on my mood would be brown one minute and a dark green the next. Since coming to school, I had gained weight, which James had been so kind as to point out to me whenever I saw him; pinching my side and making pig sounds whenever I saw him. His roommate was not thrilled with that greeting and neither was I, and yet I just hugged him and sat down on the couch saying nothing in protest.

I looked over to the fountain, which had changed somehow into a fountain outside of my high school. There I saw James and myself sitting on the edge hand in hand just gazing into each other's eyes. To anyone else, it was a sickeningly sweet moment. To me, it was a part of my life that was long gone, most likely never to be seen again. Those were the early days of our relationship. In total, the honeymoon phase, as some people call it, lasted less than six months. The fountain transformed back to its true shape. My feet began taking me away from the fountain and towards the Horseshoe, an area of campus that comprised of the oldest and most historic buildings of USC. I tried to breathe deeply to fight back the tears, but to no avail. I could not go back to Preston like this unless I wanted to be bombarded with questions from people who just wanted to make everything better.

Preston Residential College was far from being a dorm. You had to apply to get in and you had to meet certain expectations in order to stay. These expectations include making a certain percentage of dinners in its own dinning hall and meeting the GPA requirements. Other benefits to living in Preston included community banquets with different themes, teas in the principal's lodge, and mini carnivals thrown in Preston's back yard. Beyond all of this even, it was a family. Anyone who has ever lived there or even spent a great amount of time there can vouch for that fact. I am not talking about the Cleavers or any of the ideal 1950's sitcom families. I mean that Preston is the closest thing to a real family without being related by blood. It even includes those family members you outwardly wish were not related to you, but you secretly know in the back of your mind that if they were not there your life would be drastically different, for better or for worse.

I instinctively looked at my watch. Three o'clock. The lobby would be mostly empty as most everyone in the group was in their last class of the day. I, however, had no class on Fridays. A feat I hoped to accomplish in my junior and senior years following.

Jasper was the problem. He was like a brother to me and could somehow sense when something was bothering me. He cared about me, I knew that, but I often found myself hoping that he was not as intone with emotions as he always seemed to be. Jasper was the second person I met in Preston. The first of which, being my current roommate Alice. He lived next door to us and, being the Southern Gentleman he is, helped us hang stuff up on our walls that first day. We all became fast friends after that and spent a lot of time together from then onward.

Jasper had no class on Fridays either and he and our other friend, Emmett, would be hanging out in the lobby. If I walked into Preston like this, they would immediately know something was up and would make me explain why James was bailing on me this time.

I did not like showing when James had upset me to my friends here. James became an awkward topic amongst my friends from the very early days of my tenure in Preston. In short, they loathed that he even existed. Whenever James pulled a stunt like this, the whole group would begin trying to point out that maybe the relationship needed to be terminated. Though I did not completely disagree with them, I really did not need to hear it again.

I began to plot out my possible avoidance options as I continued walking around the Horseshoe not really focusing on where exactly me feet were taking me. I could wait until class let out, and then try to blend in with the crowd to get to my room without really talking to anyone. That plan had a major flaw. If I just passed by people without saying anything, they would know immediately that something was wrong and maybe think it was something worse. I could get on the phone with my mom and then just wave while passing through. On the other hand, I could stop being a coward and get over it. They all knew he was supposed to come and though I could try to dodge the immediate situation, it would only be a temporary reprieve.

I had to calm down and salvage what I could from this weekend. At length, I stopped crying by contemplating an excuse. What reason was I going to give everyone for him bailing this time? Work? Nah, too lame. Family emergency? I don't think they would truly believe that. I guess I'll just tell them that one of his friends needed some help. It was the truth after all. Well, at least it was the truth, as I knew it. I was as calm and collected as I was going to be. Time to face the lobby. I hoped that everyone was still in class. Maybe, if I was lucky, Jasper was upstairs in his room instead of hanging out in the lobby.

I walked from the historic Horseshoe with its federal style buildings to Preston via the path beside the President's house. I walked slowly trying to breathe deeply in an effort to maintain a calm exterior and not give myself away too quickly. I walked around the USC smokestack and saw Preston ahead with its cream-colored stucco and three floors of windows. The building was originally built in the 1930's and had a certain charm about it. Well, at least, the outside did.

Even though the inside was redone only a little over ten years back, the students had already done a number to the carpet, and the moisture in the building a number to the wallpaper. Nevertheless, it was still home, a refuge. Whenever I came within sight of Preston, I felt more empowered as a person. I felt that I was stronger somehow. I entered the garden and smelled the rosemary while walking through the gate. I walked over the engraving in the walkway, which quotes Lord Alfred Tennyson's Ulysses. I stopped and stared at the words, "To strive, _to seek, to find, and not to yield_". These words always caught my eye upon entering Preston. They were truly words that had influenced me from the first day at USC. I shook my head and continued in the building.

I walked into Preston's back door and there sat Jasper on the brown leather couch that sat facing the only working fireplace in a residence hall on campus, on his laptop dependable as ever. I knew my luck would never be good enough for him to be in his room. He was talking to someone, but I could not tell whom. They must be lying on Zelda, the best couch ever. Designed and made for F. Scott Fitzgerald and his wife Zelda and once kept in their mansion; it now resides in the lobby of Preston Residential College. Zelda is low to the ground and as wide as a twin bed. It is difficult to just sit on Zelda, because the design is more conducive to lying down. I walked in further and Jasper finally saw me.

"I was wondering where you had run off to. I know you got a call and then disappeared. Everything ok? Where is James?" Jasper asked in his normal soothing tone.

"He isn't coming," was all that I could choke out, my resolve crumbling by the worried look on Jasper's face.

"What's his reason this time?" He asked in a patient yet frustrated tone, while shifted his stare from me to whoever was sitting across from him.

I found my voice and responded. "He had to stay in Charlotte to help some friends who just bought a house. They are having some sort of emergency with the pipes or something. But at least that means I'm free to hang out with fine people such as you this weekend." As I walked further into the lobby about to sit next to Jasper, I saw who was sitting on Zelda, Edward Cullen.

Edward was quite possibly my best friend in the world, with one exception, and was more than a little protective of me. Edward was the last to join our group. Jasper, Alice, Edward, and I were usually together whenever we weren't in classes. Jasper and Edward were now roommates after meeting early last year. They decided that it would be better for them to live with each other.

Though Edward had less then warm feeling for James, he had enough respect for me that he rarely said anything about my need to break up with him. I knew what his feelings were about James and me, but he had spoken with me about it one time, and for him, that was the only time he needed.

Right now, Edward had the same look on his face that he always had when James pulled something like this. Between his eyes and his other features, raged a battle over the desire to protect his friend from more pain or to be supportive. Whatever his true feelings or desires, he was always there to support me. If I wasn't so upset at James, I'd be excited to see him out of class early on Friday. As it was, I was bummed, because he was the one who could see through my bullshit the most, even more than Edward.

"Hey Bell" He said, shortening my name the way I preferred instead of the way James always did. "I got out of Anthropology early." He said seeing the confused look I had on my face, seeing him out of class already. "So he isn't coming huh?" He patted his hand on Zelda beckoning me to come and sit by him. As though gravity was at work, I went to sit by him and saw the sun shining in the window through his tussled, copper hair.

"Nope. I guess I'm all yours this weekend." I said shifting my focus from his stunning sex hair and instead looking into those dark jade eyes that always held kindness and warmth.

"Hey Guys!" Emmett bellowed walking into the lobby from the front door. "What's up?" He plopped down and a matching leather chair to the couch where Jasper currently sat. The chair groaned from the weight. Emmett was a tall and very well built guy. If you did not know him, his size would be very intimidating. But he was really an asshole with a heart of gold. He was big, loud, sarcastic, and a jokester, but would do anything for his friends.

"Bella was just telling us that James is not coming to visit her this weekend." Jasper said. Emmett began cracking his knuckles and I waited for what I was sure would come next.

"What's the bastard's excuse this time?" He said all humor suddenly drained from his booming voice.

"He had the help friends with some repairs to their house. I said looking at my hands and trying not to took at any of the guys.

"You seem mildly ok with the fact that this will be the third week in a row he has ditched you." Emmett replied as he finally sat back and tried to relax in his chair. "I really hate that guy." Emmett had been around during some of the worst fights between James and me, most of which ended almost identically to the one today, if not worse.

I did not even rise up and say anything to defend him. There was no point; his opinion of James was impenetrably formed. During the first few months getting to know my friends, I would always defend him as well as our relationship. This semester, I did not even waste my breath.

As I was thinking of a good subject to gear the conversation towards, when the lobby suddenly became flooded with people and conversation. Classes had just let out, and Edward sat up to make space for people who would inevitably make their way towards Zelda. He casually grabbed me by the waist to pull me next to him so that no one would be encouraged to sit in between the two of us. I felt the charge of electricity shoot through me when Edward touched me. His touch warmed me and had a way of calming me.

Ever since second semester of my freshman year, just mere months ago, Edward and I were inseparable friends. We both had a fond friendship with literature, and we both were double majoring with one of our majors being English. We actually meet in class and not in Preston. We both had a class together, and ended up sitting together. We began a discussion while working on a group assignment and realized we both lived in the same residence hall and shared some of the same friends, Jasper included. We were fast friends from that point onward and did a lot of our work together for that class.

This year we had been able to schedule most of our classes together with the exception of his Anthropology classes and my history classes. We were just friends, but there was a need to be near each other. I stopped trying to fight sitting so close to him and being so outwardly affectionate a long time ago. I knew there was nothing to feel guilty about, but it still felt awkward at first. No one seemed to find it weird that his arm always found its way around my waist or around my shoulders. I had another friend with whom I acted much the same way so after awhile; I just accepted the closeness between us.

"What are we doing tonight?" Emmett asked. Before waiting for an answer, he answered his own question. "We could order pizza and have a movie night in the common room. I think we should watch something that will gives us some ideas of what we could do to James if he ever does deem to grace us with his presence. Saw would be a good choice, or maybe Misery."

I looked away from Edward, Jasper and Emmett at this last statement and towards the fish tank, as I felt my eyes welling up with tears. A part of me felt like I was causing my friends pain by forcing them to hear the details of my less than ideal relationship. The weird thing was that it was not the idea of any physical harm towards James that upset me, but it was that a part of me felt the same way as Emmett. How could I be so ungrateful? James had done so much for me. Why could I not just be happy with my life even if my life before college and my college life could not harmoniously come together?

I forced the tears back as I watched the little clown fish swim around the 125-gallon tank. I could cry in front of Edward, but I still tried to make these instances rare, as I wanted him to see me in a different light than I saw myself. I did not want him to see the weak and insecure Bella I saw when I looked into the mirror. I longed for him to see a strong young woman willing to stand up for herself, but my tumultuous history did not give that impression to anyone. However, whatever happened he did not judge just supported, and for that, I was thankful. Emmett was another story. He was supportive about everything, except for my relationship with James. I could not cry about this in front of him.

Just then, my personal savior, in the form of my roommate, walked in the door to distract Emmett and Jasper from me. Alice came and flung herself on the couch beside Jasper thanking God that her classes were over for the day and that she had little to no homework this weekend, except for a costume design project that she had been postponing. Emmett, Jasper and Alice began a conversation about something, but I really did not listen.

Edward then bent down to my ear and said, "Nobody who stands you up is worth your tears." I shook my head and almost laughed at the fact that no matter what I tried to conceal, he was always able to discover what I was hiding. He always was surprisingly aware of my movements and thoughts. It was comforting to know that he understood me so well, but eerie to think that I would not be able to have any true secrets. I looked into his emerald green eyes and saw the sincerity that burned in his eyes. No one ever questioned what Edward and I were saying in these conversations. It was commonplace for him to whisper in my ear or for me to write little notes while everyone was around in the lobby. There were even times when we could lock eyes and convey everything we desired without any words being needed.

"Isabella," Alice's voice snapped me out of my trance. My head snapped away from Edward's direction and instantly faced that of my roommate. She was sitting side by side with Jasper almost bouncing out of her seat. "The boys and I have decided that it is perfect night for a walk to five points for some Grilled Teriyaki fried rice and tempura. You and Edward want to come?" Leave it to my best friend and roommate to convince everyone to go to my favorite place for dinner on the night I needed some comfort food. I wondered if she knew before she even returned to Preston that James was going to bail.

"I am in, but I cannot speak for Edward. He might be sick of Grilled Teriyaki as much as he has been there with me recently." I looked toward Edward and he nodded that he was fine with going out for dinner. "If we are going to eat, I need to go change. Sweats and a t-shirt is not appropriate attire for Five Points. My mother would kill me if she knew I was down here with this on and not just hiding in my room." As I said these last words, I thought I heard Edward mutter something under his breath, but decided that I would not press to know what it was that he said. Instead, I jumped up and skipped towards the door grabbing Alice by the arm on the way. We scanned her ID and then headed toward our room and she yelled for the boys to stay put.

We walked down the hall a short way passing the stairs and then reached the comfort of our room. Her side was plastered with posters of Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp. My side consisted of movie posters spanning from Moulin Rouge to Gone with the Wind to Oklahoma. We both lofted our beds to have more floor space and bought beanbags for seating. The predominant colors in our room were blue and purple. Neither of us liked the overhead florescent lighting so the perimeter of the ceiling housed icicle lights to give us more charming lighting. It was my favorite place on campus next to my fountain.

"What was James's lame excuse this time Bella?" I should have known Alice would ask me when we were alone. I plopped down on a beanbag, and bit my lip hesitating in my reply.

"Isabella Marie Swan. Tell your roommate why James is not coming this time." Alice tried so hard to sound like a mother or older sister as she said the words that I had to stifle a chuckle. Watching the short girl, who resembled a pixie, stomp her foot, would make almost anyone laugh. It was not hard not to laugh when I remembered why she was using that voice.

"He stayed in Charlotte to help his friends with their house because he promised to help get their house habitable." I know as I was saying this my forehead was crinkling up and what Edward called my worried eyebrows were giving my act of indifference away. Though I was fine with being here and being with my friends, I was still hurt that he no longer found it necessary or desirable to come and see me even if he did not care for my friends. The fact that he did not like my friends also annoyed me, and was something to which I had not become accustomed.

"Is that the only reason or is there more that you are not telling me?" As she asked this, one of her eyebrows cocked up as though she suspected I was holding back.

"He thinks that you all hate him and he does not want to spend his weekend with a bunch of 'pretentious know-it-alls'." I said with air quotes just so she had no doubt that I never thought of any of my friends like that.

To my surprise, she laughed aloud and said, "Well, you can't spell pretentious without Preston." I stared at her with my mouth hanging open before chuckling at her joke. Her face grew the tiniest bit severe as she said, "I am not going to tell you that you need to end this, but can I ask you a question?" I nodded in response biting my lip in anxiety of what the question would be. "Why do you stay with someone like him when you could easily get a guy who appreciates you for everything that you are and who treats you like everyone deserves to be treated?"

"Because I can't get someone like that, and even if I could, my ability to keep a relationship going is not award winning. Well, that is until I began dating James." As I responded, she opened her mouth to argue before closing it again to let me finish. How could I explain in a way where she would understand without giving everything I was trying to forget about my past relationships away? "Listen Alice, I know my flaws. I am a tad on the paranoid side and I can nag with the best of them. I don't even look hot to make all the rest not matter to guys." I wanted to continue, but James's voice was now in my head saying everything that I had just said as he had a hundred times before.

"You are completely and utterly brainwashed to the point where you can't see yourself. It is my fondest wish that you learn to see yourself as we see you without him tearing you down to absolute nothingness. At least now, you are able to walk with your head up most of the time unlike freshman year. That's a start." She jumped up off the beanbag and went to freshen her makeup, focusing on her reflection in the mirror instead of me.

"What in the world do you mean?" I did not mean to sound annoyed, more surprised than anything else.

"I mean that when I first met you last year, you could barely look up when walking or even talking to people. It was almost as if you were trying to hide from the world or protect yourself from any criticism. You could have almost any guy in Preston, they would bow down at your feet, and yet you stay with someone who has put you under the warped notion that you could not find anyone else. Someone like Edward, for instance, would be much healthier for you and love you more than James would love even his own mother." Edward? I was not sure why his name was brought into this conversation. Was she seeing something more than friendship between Edward and me? I had to set the record straight. I could not think of Edward like anything other than a friend. What would that say about my relationship?

"Edward and I are just friends. Everyone knows that he and I are nothing more than that. I feel comfortable with him. He gets me when very few people understand me. I don't love Edward, and he sure as hell is not in love with me." I felt my face getting warm at these words. I would not think about another guy romantically when I was in a relationship already. What kind of a girl would that make me? My chest began feeling tight. My breathing became shallow. I sat still and did not speak hoping that Alice would not notice the panic attack that was raging inside of me. Alice kneeled down in front of me and made eye contact.

"Ok Bella. I'm sorry to have upset you." She said placing one of her hands on each of my shoulders. "I was not meaning that you and Edward had something going. I just meant that someone like him would be healthier for you. I did not mean him exactly. How about we just get ready to go out?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry I overreacted. I guess I just don't want anyone to think ill of me." I said resisting the urge to bite my lip or look to the floor. I focused on breathing and the panic attack subsided once more. We both got up and began the frenzy of getting ready. She chose a pair of awesome jeans with a Rent shirt and leather jacket. She also chose boots with a three-inch heel to complete the ensemble. I chose my favorite pair of jeans, a low cut but classy cream-colored shirt with some sparkle to it, and some red and gray Velcro sneakers that looked like they were from the 1980's. I put make-up on and brushed my teeth and we were out the door walking down the green halls and following the dark green carpet with bleach stains to the lobby.

Edward and Jasper sat on Zelda and stood up as we walked through the door. Both had gone to their room and changed. Edward was wearing a dark green shirt that accentuated his emerald eyes, a pair of khaki corduroys, and a brown leather jacket. I had to give him credit. The boy could dress really well. Jasper had gone and changed from his workout pants to a pair of dark wash jeans and a black button down shirt that stood out against his blond hair.

Of course, they had enough time to change and still get out here in time to be waiting for Alice and me. Girls did take forever to get ready after all especially when they also made time for a heart-to-heart chat. Edward stepped forward and offered me his right arm and Alice his left. We both took his arms and he said, "You both look wonderful. Shall we be going?" Edward then nodded his head to the door and Jasper was on his feet and getting the door for Alice and me.

"Where's Emmett?" I asked making my way to the door.

"Rose wanted to go somewhere else for dinner. He said they may meet us afterward." I nodded and continued beside Edward.

We walked down the stairs and the sun was already starting to go down. We turned to the left and headed down Greene Street towards Five Points. Alice broke away from Edward's arm and fell into stride with Jasper, but we all spoke loud enough to enable the conversation to continue with everyone. I did not attempt to withdraw my arm from its link with Edward's and he did not attempt to disengage either.

"So what movie are we going to watch after dinner?" Alice inquired. "I really do not feel like going out if the whole group is not here to go with us." A large amount of people was out of town this weekend for a plethora of reasons. The four of us left rarely left once school began unless forced by a holiday in which the dorms closed.

"The debate starts again," I whispered as I rolled my eyes. Only Edward heard my comment and looked down at me with concern. I just shrugged, mouthed the words, "Don't worry", and kept walking. I tightened my grip on his arm and lay my head on his shoulder as we walked.

Movie nights were sometimes all night events with my group of friends. I always sat in the corner of a large sectional sofa in the common room with Edward and Alice on either side. The thing about movies that was awkward in that setting is that I liked to cuddle, and with my boyfriend ninety miles away, it was sometimes hard to watch certain movies in Preston without feeling either very alone or a little guilty.

"I know what we need to watch!" Alice all but screamed in triumph. "Phantom of the Opera." Damn it! Phantom was a movie I loved and would want to have someone with whom to cuddle. Edward was always willing to cuddle during movie nights, but I could not cuddle with him if Alice was seeing more than friendship to our relationship. I did not want other people seeing what was not there.

"Good choice Alice. That is something we have not watched in awhile. There is something for everyone. Love. Death. Moreover, of course for Emmett there is fire." Edward said with that smirk that he always had when he could poke fun at Emmett. "Sound good Bella?"

"Sounds good to me. But Phantom will require chocolate while watching." Every good movie in our group required food even if we had just eaten before the show began. It also required caffeine as once one movie was done another was put in immediately following.

"Already taken care of. I just stocked my chocolate drawer." Alice answered proud of her immensely perfect timing. After about ten more minutes of chatter about weekend plans, we arrived at the little restaurant snuggled in the heart of Five Points, a division of Downtown Columbia filled with restaurants and bars frequented by college students. The same server who helped us every other time we came in seated us in a booth near the grill. Alice and Jasper sat on one side with Edward and me sitting on the other. She turned to me and asked if I wanted my usual. I nodded, and immediately thought that I ate there excessively often if the server knew what I was going to order. Edward smirked as if he knew what I was thinking, and ordered his food.

"Bella, have you finished reading Ethan Frome for class yet?" Edward turned to me and asked while Jasper and Alice placed there orders. The professor of our American Literature class with the theme of Love: City and Country, which dealt with the differences of how authors handled romance within the city and country in literature, assigned Ethan Frome as one of the book set in the country. These theme classes held much more interest for me then your typical American or British literature classes.

"Oh, I finished that last night. I actually read it in high school. James said that it was ridiculous that I liked it because it was a depressing story that had no real interesting plot." I cringed after saying that and waited for a response. It was never a long wait.

"He what? Does he value your opinion on anything?" There it was. I could not be too upset with him. After all, he had a point. James did not know how to disagree while still showing respect for my opinions.

I looked to Edward and saw his clenched jaw and his eyes rolling. I noticed that the more he heard about James's actions towards me the less patient he got with my staying with him. I longed to be able to explain the relationship to him, but I did not have the nerve to lay all of my insecurities at his feet, although, he probably had figured most of them out by now. Nevertheless, as quickly as his jaw clenched, it relaxed again and he squeezed my hand in a comforting manner. Once again, his supportive nature won out over the desire to protect. Sometimes I felt that it was easier for him to support my less than healthy relationship because it was my choice to stay with James.

"Well, he is just passionate about what he does or does not like. He can be a little insensitive sometimes." I said and I noticed myself looking down as I said it. Why was I sticking up for him again? I felt myself gravitating closer and closer towards the wall. Was I trying to protect myself from criticism as Alice had accused me of earlier?

"He can be a down right jackass." Jasper snorted back uncharcteristaclly. "Why would you stay with him, when you could easily be dating a guy who is crazy about you like…"

"Enough!" Edward raised his voice ever so slightly, but managed to infuse his single word command with enough force to make Alice and Jasper back off. "She knows how we feel about him. It's up to her now to make her decision." Edward's hand, which had grabbed mine under the table, when they first criticized James, withdrew. It was not like Edward to snap at anyone or for his temper to be the least bit out of place. I wondered what I was missing in Jasper's words that could have sparked that emotion. I turned my head and focused on the chef making the fried rice on the grill beside us, and got lost in a world of no coherent thoughts.

"Food's here," Alice said trying to ease the tension of the previous moment. I turned my head and smiled at my roommate. "Looks delicious. I think I may have to stay in Columbia after school just because I do not think I could survive not having Grilled Teriyaki."

"I know. I think I have eaten here almost every week since I moved into Preston. Oh Edward, don't forget that the paper for Ethan Frome will be due before you know it. You know how Dr. Barron can be tough with papers and I know your propensity to think you can write it last minute." I said as I tried to bring back the connection that Edward and I were sharing just seconds before.

"Thanks darling. I will try to finish the book this weekend and start on the paper. You do realize that the paper is not due for another two weeks though right?" His tone was full of laughter. I sighed with contentment that he seemed to return to his usually cheerful demeanor. My passion at getting certain class's work done early always entertained him. "But once again, thanks for looking after me." I felt his hand back on mine, and a smile slowly crept onto my face.

"Ethan Frome? I think I've read that book before." Jasper questioned.

"Yes, you have Jasper. We read it last semester in our English 101 class. Remember Bella helped you with your paper as she had already read it at least once before?" Alice asked rolling her eyes.

"Oh yeah. That was a pretty good book. Poor Ethan Frome. Staying with the old whining bitch because of some sense of warped duty."

"That's one way to look at it. Another way is to say that he was selfless and stayed with someone who had really helped him in his time of need and he was returning the favor." I retorted in a passionate voice that always came out when I spoke of the literary worlds in which I was often happier than in the real world. I could feel my body pulling away from the wall.

"I'm not about to argue with the English major. I do not remember the book well enough." Jasper conceded.

I ate my fried rice out of the boat shaped dish as Alice and Edward began talking about what they were going to be for Halloween. Edward was undecided between being Zorro or a pirate. Alice wanted to be Betty Rubble from the Flintstone. She had also already ordered the dress offline and was expecting its arrival any day now. Jasper was still undecided.

Halloween was a favorite holiday for the people of Preston. The fact that it landed on a Friday this year was even more special. There would be a tea in the afternoon in the Principal's lodge and then there was a party shortly after to Emmett's house as his parents were out of town and lived nearby.

"What are you going to do this year Bell?" Jasper asked.

"I have no idea. I have not dressed up with any degree of excitement since I was in middle school. It was never such a big deal in high school amongst my friends. Maybe if I found the right character."

"We'll have to help you find something. You have to dress up for Halloween. It's like blasphemy if you don't dress up." Jasper was the most into Halloween of us all. He lived for scary movies and horror.

"Bella, why don't you dress as Christine from Phantom? It is one of your favorite movies and we listen to the soundtrack at least twice a week." Leave it to Alice to pick a costume that would require a fancy dress.

"Yeah I bet you could find an outfit like the one she wears when she goes through the mirror with the Phantom. That would be hot." There Jasper goes letting his hormones getting the best of him.

Then, Edward contributed. "That is an awesome idea. You could totally pull it off." He looked at Jasper as he said this, and I could not tell if he was serious or not. I know I should be flattered that they felt that way, but they were college males. They would love to see any female dress like that in real life. I was nothing special.

"I can't wear that. I would not be able to walk out the door of my room." I was chewing the side of my mouth as a said this. How could I wear that in public?

"Oh Bell you now have no choice. You are doing it." Alice demanded.

"Et Tu Alice?" was my only reply as they all chuckled.

We all finished our dinner and paid our tabs. Then we began the walk to Preston. I heard my cell ring and looked down to see who it was. I saw the name and instinctively slipped out of Edward's grasp and began walking faster as I answered. I heard him whisper, "James" to the others.

"Hey Hun." I answered softly.

"Hey listen, I just wanted to let you know that you probably won't hear much from me for awhile. I did not appreciate your tone earlier today. I need some time to myself. You were being a selfish bitch and I just need a break from that for awhile. Oh, and this is not us breaking up, so don't go running to all your friends complaining about what a jerk I am. Also, don't think about running into the arms of another man. Not like you could find one that would take you, slut." The phone disconnected again.

I stopped dead in my tracks. Part of me wanted to scream. The other half of me wanted to cry. Why did he feel the need to say anything? He could have just ignored me. I was in no mood to deal with his shit. Why would he be worried about me going to any other man? I had never cheated on him before. I had never even let the thought enter my mind. I shuttered as I felt an all too familiar hand on my shoulder and tried to keep looking down as he attempted to get me to look him in the eyes.

"Bella, look at me Angel. Please, look at me. I heard what he said." Edward could hear him because the volume on my phone always as high as it could be due to some hearing loss I sustained at an early age from constant ear infections. Edward's voice was soft and tender though I could imagine that familiar clenching in his jaw that was there only seconds prior. I kept looking at the ground. I could see that his knees were bent so that he could be on my level. Edward was a little over a head taller than me. The top of my head hit the top of his shoulder. I could not show anyone my eyes. They couldn't see the hurt that truly lay in them right now. When did James turn into this hateful creature and why had I not stopped it?

"Bella. I need you to look at me. Are you ok?" he said this time with so much concern that I had to look at him, however briefly it would be.

I looked up at him but focused my eyes on his forehead to avoid seeing what lay beyond his olive green eyes. I avoided tears and happily, I did not scream.

Edward kept looking at my face trying to get me to look him in the eyes. His hand lay under my chin trying to get my face to move so that my eyes would meet his. Finally, I caved and looked him in the eyes. What I saw was no surprise. He was concerned, angry, and most importantly patient and tender. When he saw that I would not shrink away, his arm gravitated to my waist and began pulling me towards Preston.

"Alice, when we get to Preston you and Bella go change into something comfortable and grab the chocolate. Jasper, get your DVD player. I'll grab the movie and a pillow. Bella I'm going to let Alice walk you to your room, but I'll come and get you when I change and grab the movie and I'll walk you to the common room. You are not leaving my sight the rest of the night." Edward's tone was full of concern. He kissed the top of my head as we walked. Jasper and Alice were walking and talking quickly to themselves. Edward leaned to me and said, "You could find someone else you know. Not that I'm telling you to, but I just want to make sure you know that you have a choice." I had no fight left in me today. Well, maybe that was not the whole truth; I had no desire to fight with him.

A/N would love reviews! Thanks everyone! Also are we wanting some of Edward's point of view.

Sara


	2. Phantoms and panic

**Stephanie Meyer owns twilight and the characters in it.**

Phantoms and Panic

When we got to Preston, Alice and I walked to our room and I instantly went to the bathroom and changed into my sweats. Neither of us said a word. I quickly changed and then went to my bed and grabbed my stuffed dog that Edward had bought me for my birthday in September. I loved stuff animals, but James never had bought me any. In fact, last year he gave me an Xbox video game even though I did not own an Xbox. I gave it to him to use. I always instinctively grabbed Edward's gift when wanting comfort now. I then crashed on the purple beanbag waiting for Alice and Edward to be ready. Tap, tap, tap. That would be Edward. That took all of three minutes.

"Come in," Alice called as she stepped into the bathroom that joined our room with our suitemates, both of which were home for the weekend. Edward came into the room slowly with eyes towards the ceiling until he noticed that I was the only one in the room and I was decent. He always wore a t-shirt and long pajama bottoms when we watched movies. It was amazing that no matter what he was wearing he was still handsome and charming.

"Hey Bell. How's Darcy doing?" Edward asked. He named the stuffed dog he gave me Darcy, after Fitzwilliam Darcy in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. I just smiled a half smile then answered him.

"Darcy is good. I could be better though." I answered honestly, but continued staring at my puppy.

"You want to talk about it?" He asked as he walked a little further in the room.

"No, I don't want to talk about it. I want to forget it." I looked up at him and smiled a half smile before biting my lip.

"We can help with that. As soon as Alice is ready, then you and I can sit side by side watching the movie. We can even cuddle if you want." He winked and smirked at me as he said this and held his hands out to help me up. I gladly took his hands and gently got up from my seated position. Alice came out of the bathroom in a similar outfit to the one that I was wearing. She grabbed the chocolate out of her top right hand drawer and her pillow from her left. Edward grabbed drinks for me out of the refrigerator putting them in pockets in his pajama pants and grabbed my hand to walk down to the common room.

My room was on the first floor of the three-story building, but the common room was on the other side of the building. We walked out the door and to the lobby. We crossed through the lobby to get to the west side of the building to the common room; situated beside a small lecture room and three offices occupied by professors. Jasper was already in the room with the DVD player set up. I went to my usual spot in the corner of the couch and Edward sat to my right only seconds later. Once he sat down, he instantly grabbed me and pulled me towards him. I did not fight it. I plopped my head onto Edward's chest and snuggled against him. Edward was lean, but more muscular than one would guess just by looking at him. If James would not have called back, I might have felt guilty about this display of affection. As it now stood, I felt that I deserved some sort of comfort. Lord knows that James seemed incapable of providing me with any sort of real affection lately.

Jasper went over and sat by Alice after turning out the lights. The movie began to play and I heard Alice asking the all too familiar question when we watched musicals in a group setting.

"Are we aloud to sing along?" She asked adjusting herself onto the couch sitting Indian style with her pillow in her lap.

"Fine with me" I said not caring as long as I could still hear the music. I never really sang much when other people were around. I enjoyed to sing, but was not very confident in my vocal skills.

"It's cool with me," Edward said as he smiled at me. Edward had an awesome voice something that he knew all too well. He had sung in the choir at his church for years. He had also played Tony in his high school's production of West Side Story. I found myself hoping that I could sometime get to see that video.

"Well, I'm not going to be the sore man out here. Now hush until the singing starts," Jasper said as he put his arm around Alice's shoulders and squeezed her closer to him. Had I been so obsessed with my own relationship that I missed a potential match for my roommate? I made a mental note to bring up the sudden closeness that seemed to be developing between Jasper and Alice tonight after the boys went back to their room.

The opening scene began and I cuddled closer to Edward. Something about the music put me into a trance whenever I watched it. It was something that could calm me down, whenever I was going into one of my panic attacks. Edward said that something in the lyrics or music must be something that I identified with for it to be that soothing. Something like the old cliché, 'misery loves company'. I had not yet found out what that something was, but I had a strange feeling that he was right. Maybe it was because so often I felt like the Phantom hiding from the cruel and inhumane world around me.

Sometime in the movie, I must have fallen asleep because I remember seeing the Phantom one minute and then I was being nudged awake by my roommate. Edward was looking down with a grin on his face.

"Do we need to get you tucked into bed sweets?" He asked as I looked at the screen and saw the credits rolling.

"Maybe so." I grinned back and then bit my lip. I was infamous for talking in my sleep, and I just hoped that I had not said anything particularly stupid or revealing.

I leaned on Edward as we went through the lobby towards my room. Alice was not far behind and Jasper was not far behind her. Edward opened the door and helped me into the room. I was so tired all of the sudden that I could barely move. I had not slept well the last few nights prior due to nightmares.

"You want me to help you up or bring the mattress down to the floor," he asked.

That was the bad thing about lofts. If you were too tired or too intoxicated, the motivation to climb up the ladder was hard to muster. I knew the answer to the following question before asking it, but I still thought I would take a chance.

"Can't I just sleep on the beanbags?" I asked giving my best pouting face that I could muster and making my hair fall into my face.

"No darling. You need some quality sleep and you'll hardly get that just sleeping on bean bags." He said brushing the hair out of my face and behind my left ear. Though he had done this several times, my breath caught. I quickly tried to shake it off before answering him.

"I guess I'll go up there." I threw Darcy up and braced myself for the climb. Edward stood at the edge of loft as I climbed in case my strength gave out, which it had a couple of times prior. He then moved around to the side after I was up. He stood on a chair and pulled the covers up to my shoulders.

"Sleep Sweet hun. Call me when you are ready for breakfast tomorrow." He got down off the chair and I heard it scratching against tile before he headed toward the door. He looked back at me and winked as he leaned against the frame waiting on his roommate.

Jasper gave Alice a hug and then the two boys were gone and my roommate and I were left to our own devices. Alice was humming some song that if I would not have been so incredibly tired, I am sure I would have recognized. She closed and locked the door, before crawling up into her loft.

"So what did I say when I fell asleep?" I asked looking at the ceiling at some old glow in the dark stars that had been placed there by the room's previous tenant.

"You want me to tell you the truth or make something up," she asked chuckling, slowly making her way up the ladder on her loft that she had made with her father.

"That bad huh?" I turned over and starred at the wall, thinking that I should put posters up on the wall here as well.

"Nah. You just said Edward's name in a dreamy sounding voice, which is understandable since you were resting your head on his chest. He got a kick out of it though."

"Well, with my history it could have been worse." I said relieved that I had not said something truly horrendous. "What's going on with you and Jasper by the way? You guys have always been friends, but ya'll were very cuddly tonight."

"Not sure. He has been awfully attentive recently though. He is truly a southern gentleman." Yep, she liked him.

"He is a great friend, but he has no love for James."

"He just does not like to see you hurt is all Bell. He sees you as almost a sister and he is really just trying to protect you in his own way. "

I sighed quietly so that Alice could not hear me. "I know. My friend Jacob from high school says there is something in my eyes that screams for protection."

"Jacob seems to have that point right on the money. I'll have to hear more about him tomorrow. You talk about him, but never go into too much detail about him. You had better go to sleep. Edward would kill me if you stayed up because of me." I snuggled with Darcy and realized that I could still smell Edward's scent on Darcy and even in my hair. It took me no time to fall asleep that night.

Suddenly, I was back in high school walking down the hall towards my locker. James was there leaning against it waiting for me.

"Hey babe. I got out of class early so I thought I'd met you here and walk you to class." He leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. I smiled and grabbed my books for the next few classes. We turned and walked towards the class holding hands.

**EPOV**

I was so mad that I could have driven to Charlotte and strangled James. I would never understand how he could treat Bella the way he did. I stood behind her listening to what he was saying. It seemed like every time we had Bella seeing herself the way we saw her, James would inevitably fuck it up.

"Not like you could find one that would take you, slut." Those were the last words I heard him say. Bella stopped dead in her tracks and just stared at the ground in front of her. I glanced over at Jasper quickly and he nodded his head. I walked in front of her and what I saw broke my heart. She had been broken again; well if she had ever really been put together in the first place. She had yet to realize that I was in front of her so I gently placed my hand on her shoulder in an attempt to get her attention. She made no motion to look at me.

"Bella, look at me Angel. Please, look at me. I heard what he said." I tried to say softly while the anger I felt towards James boiled just under the surface. I bent my knees in an attempt to get closer to her eye level. The longer she went without making eye contact with me, the more scared I got that he had pushed her past her limit. It was only a matter of time.

"Bella. I need you to look at me. Are you ok?" I heard the edge to my voice and knew that I had to calm down and be there for her. She needed me to stay clam. She finally looked up at me, but still avoided making eye contact. I continued to try and get her to look at me and finally and took my hand and gently caressed her chin in an attempt to guide her gaze towards me. Finally, her brilliant brown eyes met with mine. I saw a pain that I had seen in her many times before. I knew that there was more to this pain than James's hurtful words. Someone worse caused that amount of pain in her. I wanted to know what, but I couldn't push her. She had to come forward in her own time.

My arm wound around her waist when I felt that she was ok and I guided her to Preston. "Alice, when we get to Preston you and Bella go change into something comfortable and grab the chocolate. Jasper, get your DVD player. I'll grab the movie and a pillow. Bella I'm going to let Alice walk you to your room, but I'll come and get you when I change and grab the movie and I'll walk you to the common room. You are not leaving my sight the rest of the night."

I could hear Jasper telling Alice that he was texting Emmett. I leaned down to the frail angel at my side and said, "You could find someone else you know. Not that I'm telling you to, but I just want to make sure you know that you have a choice."

She had many choices in fact. There was not a single guy I knew who did not think she had a modest beauty to her. I guess it was heightened by the fact that she did not think she was beautiful. There were many guys that wanted her to be free of James so that they could pursue her. Embry was the one who could be my greatest competition.

When we got to Preston, Alice took Bella into their room to get ready. Emmett was waiting in our room along with Rose.

"What happened now?" Emmett said almost shaking in anger.

"Jasper, can you tell him? I can't repeat it. I'm doing everything I can not to drive to Charlotte as it is." I went into the bathroom and changed quickly as Jasper told Emmett the story.

"Who the fuck does this guy think he is? How is she doing?" Emmett asked.

"She's broken Em, but I will put her back together again if it kills me." I said as Jasper was grabbing the DVD player.

"Listen, I'm going to go to the gym, because if I don't work out this anger I will explode. Rose, you coming or staying here?" Emmett was almost shaking in anger.

"I'll go with you. I need to work out some frustration to. That little prick." She said.

"I'm going to get her. I'll see you guys later." I said almost sprinting from the room and jumping the stairs two at a time. I knocked on the door and heard Alice yelling for me to come in. I walked in careful to keep my eyes to the ceiling in case one of them was decent. Once realizing that it was safe I looked down to the angel on the bean bag clutching the stuffed dog I had just given her for her birthday. We got her and Alice down to the common room. Bella went to sit in the corner of the sectional. I pulled her to me. She made no effort to fight me like she used to, instead she laid her head down on my chest. We turned on the movie and were about halfway through when I heard her.

"Mhm Edward." She said so softly I almost did not hear her.

"Did you just hear that Jasper?" I asked softly attempting not to wake her.

"Oh yeah. I heard her. She must be dreaming about you." He said while I tried not to get my hopes up.

"Mhmmmmm Edward." She said again. I held her tighter and kissed the top of her heard. I would be lying if I said I did not enjoy hearing her say my name like that. I wished more then anything that I knew what she was dreaming about.

After the movie was over, I helped her back to her room and into her loft. After Jasper and I said our goodnight to the girls, we headed back up to our room without saying a word.

"So Bella is dreaming about you huh?" He asked once we got to the room.

"Maybe." I had to try and not get my hopes up.

"You don't seem too excited." He stated as he hooked his DVD player back up to his television.

"What do you want me to say man? She has a boyfriend. One dream means nothing. I mean I was right beside her at the time." I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling.

"She is with James, because she doesn't know any other way Edward. She thinks that no one else wants her. Mark my words." He said flicking off the light and getting into bed.

"Maybe you're right." I said trying not to focus and Bella Strawberry scent on my shirt as I drifted to sleep.

**BPOV**

I woke up the next morning at around 10:30. Alice was still asleep as I raised myself up to get off my loft and check my email and Facebook messages. I smiled while sitting there imagining that that was the first thing that most college students did when they woke up. I checked my email and saw that my high school friend, Jacob, had emailed me. I chuckled at the idea of him emailing me after I had just brought him up to Alice the night before. I read the email through the normal haze I was in for the first thirty minutes after waking up.

_Dear Bella,_

_How are things in Columbia? Are you doing anything fun this weekend? I'm at home for the weekend. I was hoping you would be here so we could hang out. It has been too long since we have gotten to spend some time just the two of us. Let me know when you are going to be in town next and I will try to make it in for the weekend. I continue to miss you every day we are apart._

_All my love,_

_Jacob_

His email was brief, like most of the messages I got from him. Jacob was the type who conversed better in person than through any type of telecommunication. I missed him, which is why I never spoke much about him. Talking about him, only reminded me of how acutely I missed his presence. He knew my friends here and they knew a little about him, but I hoped that he would learn more about them soon. I had tried to talk him into going to USC with me, but he chose to go to the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill. He was majoring in pre-med and the focus he gave to his schoolwork was incredible.

Alice then stirred and finally sat up. Her short hair sticking up in every direction. She was quiet first thing in the morning. We both were. That was the good thing about having her as a roommate; we were both comfortable in silence. Alice got up and went to her computer, and turned on her music. We had a silent agreement that whenever both of us were awake, it was a requirement that there be music in the background.

This morning started out with a little bit of Rent playing in the background. The other benefit to having Alice as a roommate was that musical soundtracks comprised of at least half of our musical choices. As we both woke up a little more, Alice finally spoke.

"Are you going to call Edward for breakfast or are you going to take a shower first?" Alice opened the curtains and the blinds to let some natural light in as she spoke.

"I'll call him now and make sure he is up and then take a shower before actually getting food. Breakfast is better when you actually feel clean. For having a very sober night last night, I feel like I have a hangover." I picked up my cell and dialed Edward's number.

"Good morning sleepy head," he said in a tone so awake that I am sure had Jasper throwing a pillow at him. "Are you almost ready for breakfast?"

"You are way too cheerful in the morning. When did you wake up?" I could hear the groggy tone of my voice and hoped that a shower would wake me up.

"About 9:00 o'clock. I wanted to get up and go for a run. It is a beautiful fall day so far."

"Why am I not surprised?" I tried to say in a more cheerful tone before continuing. "I'm going to take a shower and then Alice will grab one. Then we'll be ready I'll call you then if you can wait that long."

"I'll be waiting. Call me when you are ready." The call disconnected.

"The boy has been up for almost two hours and has already gone for a run. Damn overachiever." I said as I grabbed my towel and headed to the bathroom.

I made the shower quick and was out in five minutes so that Alice could jump in. The sooner we were ready the sooner we could go get breakfast and I was famished at this point. I dried my hair while she was in the shower. Alice was out of the shower in about the same time I was and in total, it only took us twenty minutes to be ready. I picked up the phone and dialed Edward.

"You ready?" he answered.

"We are heading towards the lobby now. We'll meet you there."

We walked out into the lobby and the boys were there waiting on us. Edward was much more awake and alert than Jasper who appeared as though he had slept in his clothes. Jasper walked toward Alice and gave her a hug. Edward just waited for me to come up to him before putting his arm around my neck and squeezing.

"Morning Bella. Did you sleep well?" He was wearing a black button down shirt and a pair of khaki pants.

"I slept very well. I probably could have slept longer, but hunger became the main priority." I said wrapping my arm around his waist and not wanting to let go.

"And yet it still took you an hour after getting out of bed to be ready." He chuckled. He knew me too well. I was not about to jump up and go running. I had to start up slowly like an old car. He grabbed my hand from around his waist and held it as we all walked over to the cafeteria, and ordered our Saturday morning usual. The great thing about college campuses is that their cafeterias serve breakfast late on weekends knowing that no respectable college student will eat breakfast before nine on the weekend.

We grabbed our breakfasts and headed back over to Preston Lobby to eat. We rarely ate in the cafeteria. It lacked that feeling of home that some college students crave. Eating in the lobby with your friends, who become as close to you as family, is more comfortable and relaxing.

"Jacob e-mailed me this morning. I think I need to make an appearance back at home next weekend." I said knowing the reaction to come.

"Are you going for him or James?" Emmett asked as he walked in with his giant breakfast and sat down on Zelda.

"I have not seen Jacob in weeks and we are as close as the four of us. He wrote begging to see me soon. It is easier if we meet in the middle at home." I retorted deliberately leaving James's name out of my reply.

"Jacob is the guy from high school who visited last semester right?" Edward asked.

"Yeah. He was my best friend in high school. He and I always did everything together. I miss him." At this last statement, my eyes fell to the floor and I know my face gave away how much I really did miss my best friend.

"That will be fun. You two should hang out. Maybe sometime this year he can come back for another visit. He was a cool guy. Why don't you ever talk about him?" I knew Edward would like him. They had a lot in common. They both enjoyed the same music, television shows, and movies. They also shared the same sense of humor.

"I guess it's just hard to. He and I have never really been apart until coming to school. When I talk about him, I realize how much I miss him. I'll see if he wants to come down again. However, I do need to meet him at home this weekend. I also have not seen my parents in weeks."

"Jacob was the one who we were talking about last night right?" Alice asked.

"Yep."

"How long have you two been friends? It must have been a long time because he has you pegged." Edward's eyebrow lifted at those words and he looked at me questioning. I ignored his confused demeanor and answered Alice.

"Oh man. I guess I first meet Jacob my last year of elementary school. We have been best friends ever since. He was much more popular in high school because he played basketball and football. I must admit that nobody tried to mess with me if he was around."

"Have fun then Bell. Don't forget about us though." Emmett joked.

"Like I could ever forget you Emmett." I smiled.

The truth was that I really wanted to see Jacob, but I was also planning to spend time with James, which was something the others knew, but remained unspoken. Sometimes less was more in this group of people. The less I spoke about James, the more peace I received. I just kept quiet about my impending trip and focused on my biscuits and gravy. My favorite meal at the Grand Market Place Cafeteria, or more fondly known as the GMP (pronounced GIMP).

As we all ate, we watched the pictures scroll by on the Preston video picture frame over the fireplace. It was amazing how in such a short amount of time, we all had multiple pictures in the rotation. The only distraction from the pictures was the flurry of people who were now making their way downstairs and onto their Saturday events, which for several in the building included tailgating before the football game. Today was the Georgia/USC game, a game second in importance only to the USC/Clemson game. It really made no difference to me. I was never really one to care much about football or really about many sports in general, unless I was watching Jacob play.

"What are we going to do tonight," Alice finally asked as she was almost done with her breakfast.

"We could play the Wii tonight in mine and Edward's room," Jasper suggested.

"That sounds good," I answered, "but Alice and I need to work on a little school work this afternoon first."

"We do?"

"Yep. You have a project due Monday that you have not even started." Alice rolled her eyes before responding.

"Yeah, I guess I better get at least half of that done this afternoon. Then dinner and the Wii tournament."

"Edward, you should finish Ethan Frome for class." I said pushing my food away and lying back against Zelda.

"I'll work on that this afternoon." He replied with the same tone that he had the night before when I warned him about the paper.

After finishing and cleaning up our food, Edward and Jasper walked with us toward our room and left us at the stairs to go back up to their room. Alice and I went to our room, and instinctively left the door open in case anyone was passing by on their way down the hall. I went to my computer, put on some music, and got to work on my paper that I had already started the morning prior while waiting on James.

"Ugghhh. I do not want to do this stinking project!" Alice protested as she shut her laptop only minutes after sitting down. Her major was theatre. While my papers consisted of analyzing a work for some sort of deeper meaning, her projects involved designing costumes for a play or papers on the history of theatre.

"You know that if you put it off it is just going to be harder tomorrow." I said focusing on what I was trying to say to wrap up the paragraph in my paper.

"I hate Hamlet." She was sitting in her desk chair; arms crossed and bottom lip sticking out like a petulant child.

"I know, but that isn't going to get the project done." Alice sighed and opened her laptop back up. She began frantically typing and I continued with my paper on Ethan Frome. I had about six pages already and the paper only needed to be five. I decided it might be better if I look through the paper and see what loose ends needed addressing, and then complete the paper. I would have Edward read it later for a second opinion. After completing the paper, I grabbed my copy of Pride and Prejudice and began to read a little bit. Every once in awhile, Alice would let out a pronounced sigh and then stare out the window.

"Get back to work." I would say if I felt she was trying to stall for too long. Then the flurry of typing and sketching would begin again. I lost myself into the book wondering if people like Darcy really existed or if it was just another cruel joke to raise false hopes in females. I put down my book and took some time to write Jacob back.

_Jacob,_

_Things are going well here in Preston. We went out to eat last night and then watched "The Phantom of the Opera" together. Other thank that, everything is very much the same as always. I was thinking about coming home next weekend to see you and the parents. Let me know if you can come home because I desperately want to hang out with you. _

_James is ever much the same. He has blown me off the last three weeks and refuses to come here to see me. His excuse is that he hates my new friends. I wonder sometimes if that is truly the reason. He has little to no respect from any of the group here. I guess I can understand why as the only thing they know about him is the bad. Of course, he has no real respect for me anymore either._

_Let me know about next weekend. Miss you always._

_Bella_

I clicked the send button and then went back to reading. I'd try to get some more work done tomorrow when I was forcing Alice to finish her project. As I was reading one of my favorite parts my phone rang, I grabbed it and smiled as Jacob's name popped up on caller ID.

"Hey Jake," I said grateful that the call was from him and not James. A smile crept onto my face as I heard his voice.

"Hello my Isabella. What's up with you?" I looked at Alice who was trying not to look in my direction.

"Just reading Pride and Prejudice." I rolled my eyes at Alice and focused on the book cover.

"Is that not like the tenth time you have read that book?"

"What's your point?" I knew my voice sounded like that of a stubborn child. I did not really care. I knew Jacob would not be offended.

"Alright," he said laughing, "I called to talk about next weekend, not to lecture you about how many other books you could be reading. I was actually thinking that I might come there next weekend if you are game for that. I would like to get to know all of your friends better. They all seemed cool last time I was there. It would also be nice to spend some time with you without having to share you with James." I was shocked. I knew how hard it was for Jacob to get time away from school especially to go somewhere other than home.

"That would be great!" I almost yelled while at the same time thinking that this meant another weekend without seeing James. That thought, however, was brief and not really a disappointing one to my own surprise. Alice looked at me and I shook my head. She went back to writing her paper. I knew she had to be doing well if she was not continuing to ease drop on my conversation.

"Cool. The only class that I have on Fridays got cancelled this week, so if it okay with you, I will drive down on Thursday night so we can hang out together longer. I may have to work on some schoolwork, but I'll just wake up early as I know you will be sleeping in."

"Of course, that is okay with me. I'm so glad you are coming. Edward was just asking if you would be coming down at all this year. I miss you so much."

"It will be nice to see him again. He seemed like a good person, but I was a little more focused on you at the time. He seems to take pretty good care of you."

"I'm not a baby. I do not need to be taken care of." As I said this, I thought about last night and how if Edward had not been there my night would have been ruined by another all too familiar panic attack that if not regulated may have landed me in the hospital as it had in the past. I did not regret the words, but I knew there was a tinge of truth to what Jacob said.

"Yeah, yeah big bad Bella can take care of herself. I get it. I'll see you on Thursday night. I remember how to get there so I will call you when I am almost there. Miss you too girl. Later." The line disconnected. I shut my phone and smiled at the thought of my two worlds colliding in a manner that might actually work. My best friend ever since I could remember coming to the place where I felt the most able to be myself was a combination that made me excited.

"So Alice you want a momentary distraction from your paper?" Her entire body flew around to face my direction as if she had merely been waiting for one word from me.

"Always. What's going on? Who was that?"

"It was Jacob. Looks like we are going to be having some company this weekend and I am not going home after all. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is. When is he coming?" She was sitting on the edge of her seat.

I smiled at her eagerness and answered her question. "Thursday night. If he gets here in time, I'll bring him to Preston dining."

"Maybe that means we'll actually go out this weekend instead of staying in Preston and watching movies." We never really went out much. Partially because we were broke college students, but also because we were mostly content with spending time together in the lobby or common room.

"Maybe. Distraction time is over, now get back to work on the paper."

I spent the rest of the afternoon reading and listening to Alice's sighs. Finally, Alice announced that she had actually completed two thirds of her project and could not sit a moment longer at her computer. She picked up the phone and called Jasper. Edward was of course in the room as well and both finished with schoolwork. They headed downstairs and Edward's head popped into the doorway. Seeing motion in my periphery, I looked up from the beanbag closest to my desk and smiled.

"Are you reading that again?" He, like everyone else in my life, knew that Pride and Prejudice was my favorite book series.

"Yes," I replied sheepishly waiting for him to tell me that I could read a plethora of other books instead of constantly rereading the same series.

"I might have to read that one day just to understand your fixation." He said kneeling beside me and gently taking the book from my hands, being careful not to lose my place.

"Every guy should read it. Then they would understand what girls really want in a boyfriend." Alice answered back. I looked to Jasper to see if he might have any plans to read it. He shrugged his shoulders and plopped down on a beanbag. He was not one to follow expectations of others.

Emmett walked into the room suddenly with a pout on his face. "What are we doing for dinner? I'm starving." Emmett's life revolved around food first and everything else was secondary.

"Well, I was actually thinking about grabbing some Chinese takeout."

"Edward we just had Japanese last night. You really want Chinese food tonight?" Alice seemed surprised by this, but I was not shocked. Edward loved Asian food more than almost any other style of cooking. It was something else that he and I had in common.

"What about Sonic? I would really love a cheese coney and some tatter tots." I really was in the mood for junk food. I never really ate a lot, but when I did eat, it was full of calories and in no way healthy.

"I'm game. Let's go," Emmett said enthusiastically.

"I'll drive," Edward said.

"You guys are going to make me have to start working out. Not every girl can have Bella's metabolism." Alice stated though she was not protesting.

We all got up and were out the door. Edward parked nearby on weekends in case we ever needed to go somewhere. He really liked his car as close as possible. We walked towards the silver Volvo parked right out front of Preston.

"Shotgun," I yelled causing Emmett to pout. Edward just smiled and walked to the passenger side of the car and opened the door for me. I slide into the seat and buckled my seat belt. We decided to eat the food back at Preston; mainly because Edward's car was so nice that, we were all worried about spilling something if we ate in it. We all ordered our food and then Edward drove us back. Edward's spot was still empty so he parked and we went inside to the lobby.

"So Bell, you have not told the boys the good news." Alice said as she began passing out everybody's order.

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot." I replied and still gave nothing away.

"Well, don't keep us waiting," Emmett was impatient when he felt that someone had kept a secret from him. Edward just looked at me waiting for me to tell him the latest report.

"Well, Jacob called this afternoon to talk about plans for next weekend. He wants to come here next weekend. He wants to get to know you guys better, and I think he does not want to go home and deal with his parents two weekends in a row." I took a bite of my hotdog and waited to hear what they thought.

"That will be fun. We'll have to get out of Preston and do some things so that he does not think we are too boring." Edward seemed very serious about getting Jacob to have a good time. I was grateful to my friends for being as excited as I was to have Jacob come down, but wondered why James never showed that enthusiasm.

"I'm glad he is coming down, this may be my chance to get some dirt on you." Emmett would see a friend coming as a chance to gather potential blackmail material.

"I hate to tell you, but there really is not much that you don't already know," I lied to Emmett before taking another bite of my hotdog. There was a lot that they did not know, including the stories about my boyfriend before James. That was a subject never before brought up around my friends, but explained a lot about who I was as a person. I never considered until then, that Jacob coming to Preston might unleash those secrets to my comrades in Preston. I began to bite my lip. What would their reaction be? It was not that I did not want them to know, but I never discussed it with anyone other than Jacob. I kept nothing from Jacob. Sometimes it took me a little longer to tell him.

We finished our dinner and then Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs. Jasper got the Wii for his birthday before coming back to school from summer vacation. It was something that we all became addicted to very quickly. Our favorite activity associated with the Wii was using Wii Sports to have bowling league nights. Tonight was one of those nights.

The boys' room was different from ours. Jasper's bed was on the same wall as the door, and Edward's was straight across the room. Both of them had their desks right beside their beds on the long wall to the left. In between their desk were the chests of drawers, which held their TV and Wii on top. The boys had two black chairs on the floor designed for video gaming, which could move easily to one side or the other. Other than the chairs, the middle of the room remained open. Both had movie posters over the walls.

We spent about two hours playing and Jasper won as usual. He usually won, but was never obnoxious about it. It was easy to play with someone who never rubbed it into your face that they won. When Emmett won, we heard about it for weeks afterward.

After the Wii Bowling, we ended up just hanging out talking. I jumped on Edward's bed and just lay down as he was at his computer reading his email. It was so natural just being with Edward and not having to say anything. Emmett went to meet Rose at her sorority party. Jasper and Alice decided to take a walk. Thinking that they might want to be alone, I asked Edward to stay in Preston alone.

Edward walked over to his bed and sat down beside me. He looked down, and swept the hair out of my face.

"Are you feeling better today?" His voice was always so tender.

"I guess. I just do not understand this change in him. He was once very sweet and attentive. I know you cannot believe it, but it is the truth." I felt my eyes leaving Edwards and corrected myself. I needed to be strong. His eyes kept looking into mine and his hand caressed my cheek. I could feel myself blushing. I was not used to such a tender display of affection from anyone.

"Isabella, maybe it has nothing to do with you. He might be insecure about you living an hour away. Although I must admit, I am not a fan of how he spoke to you last night." Edward's brow furrowed as he replayed the conversation he had overheard the night before.

"That's James. He is not very good at filtering what he is thinking from what he is speaking, a flaw that can really hurt. Especially since, he has directed his mean and unfiltered comments at me more often over the last few months. You know I would never cheat right?"

"I know you would never do that. Are you sure he wouldn't?" Edward said dropping his hand from my face but continuing to maintain eye contact.

"You think he is cheating?" I could feel the panic coming. Whenever something became too stressful, the panic washed over me and my breathing became labored. I tried to slow my breathing. Edward saw what was coming. He had seen a massive panic attack the previous semester that landed me in the hospital for a 24-hour stay in the cardiac unit as it had put stress on my heart from the lack of oxygen.

"Bella, I'm not saying he is cheating darling. I am trying to understand the change in him if he is becoming more demeaning. That's all. Breathe slowly please. I do not want to be responsible for causing you a panic attack. I do not know him well enough to know what is going on." He regretfully got up and walked to his computer to turn on the Phantom soundtrack.

He returned quickly and sat beside me, pulling me into his side. "Calm down my Bella," is all he said before I was lost in the music. At length, my breathing slowed. He leaned closer to me and kissed my forehead. A smile reflexively appeared on my face.

I had never known anyone to be able to deal with my moods as calmly and patiently as Edward could, with the possible exception of Jacob. Jacob was the exception to almost everything, and Edward was becoming more of an exception everyday. Edward and Jacob never judged; just tried to work with it. It was nice to know that they accepted me despite my flaws. I slowly withdrew from Edward's arms, picked up his pillow, and began to snuggle as I curled into a ball on Edward's bed.

"You excited that Jacob is coming?" A nice shiny new change of topic was just what I needed. A smile crept slowly back onto my face.

"I am very excited. He and I used to be as inseparable as the two of us. We probably still would be if I had gone to UNC. He is the best friend I have ever had, and its weird, but I know that he will always be in my life. Does that make any sense?" I said, looking at Edwards's face.

"It makes perfect sense. There are some people who you know will just be a temporary part of your life, but others will always be there in good times and in bad. No mater what happens, they will always be there." Edward would be someone who stayed in my life. I could feel it, but did not express that feeling to him.

"He is there forever. I think he knows me better than I know myself. You looked confused, or more accurately, inquisitive when Alice said that he had me pegged. I told her last night, that Jacob always says that something about my presence screams for protection."

"I think Jacob does know you pretty well. It is hard to be around you, and not want to protect you from the cruelty of the world. You want to see the best in everyone even though not everyone is good." He said while twirling my hair around his fingers while adjusting himself to lay by my side. I turned on my side so that we could face each other.

"Edward, I have a totally off topic question for you."

"Yes dear, what is it?" He asked patient with the random topic change that prevented the conversation from getting too deep and too focused on me.

"Does Jasper have a thing for Alice?"

"I believe that he is currently asking her out at this moment so the answer would be yes. Do you approve or do you want me to break his legs?" Edward laughed and smiled at me. I sat up and leaned against the wall for support.

"No need to do anything that violent. A simple prank might suffice. But seriously, that is good for the both of them. I think she feels that same way about him." I looked down at my hand and fiddled with his pillow.

"Good then I will not have to continue to listen to his ongoing debate of whether they will ever be a couple." He said this in a jovial manner. He liked to see his friends happy, but a twinge of pain passed through me at the thought of happiness in relationship. I was happy for my roommate, but I part of me ached knowing that I could not boast of having a happy partnership.

"How long has that been going on?" I asked still looked down at the black cotton pillowcase that stood out against his tan comforter.

"I believe it can be first dated back to the beginning of the semester."

"Is that why you stayed here with me? Because you knew that he needed a private moment with her to ask her out."

"Well, I hardly think I need a reason to want to be with my best friend alone, but yes that is why I stayed in on what is a beautiful night for a walk." I looked up and met his eyes, which were concealing something from me. I could not comprehend what it was about his eyes that held me captive in that moment. Suddenly, he stood up and walked to his computer.

"You want to read that short story for our other English class on Monday together? I'll read it out loud." He sat in his office chair and pulled the reader out from his top right drawer.

"Sure." I was not sure why he suddenly had to get up, but thought it best not to push him for the reason.

He stayed in his desk chair as he flipped through the book to the assigned reading. He leaned back after finding the page and began to read. His voice was so steady unlike most people who read aloud; it flowed without any awkward pauses. I often enjoyed some stories more if the were read aloud than reading them myself. He finished in thirty minutes and after talking about it so we knew what we could say in class, the door opened and Jasper and Alice entered the room. They were all over each other. Edward moved back to the bed and whispered in my ear.

"It looks like the walk was successful. Though it may be hard to live with the two of them for awhile." I smiled and gave him a hug.

"How was the walk?" I asked knowing that the two lovebirds were in their own little world.

"It is such a wonderful night. Campus is so quiet tonight. I guess everyone was celebrating the big win and went to Five Points afterwards. What have you guys been up to?" Alice responded while Jasper just gazed at his computer screen with a goofy grin on his face.

"I was reading a short story to Bella for class." As he said this, I yawned. I looked at the clock and it was about one in the morning. That would explain why I was so tired.

"Looks like it is nearly Bella's bedtime. Why don't we walk you two down to your room?" Jasper said. Edward jumped off the bed and put his arms out to help me up just as he always did. I took his hands and begrudgingly got off his bed. He held my hand as we walked down the stairs and then we were at my room. Jasper went to help Alice onto her loft and to say their sickeningly sweet goodbyes; while Edward helped me up and made sure that I had Darcy. Once they were out the door, the girl talk began.

"So you and Jasper official yet," I asked already knowing the answer to the question.

"I was quite an eventful walk. Apparently, he has had a thing for me since the beginning of the semester. We are now officially dating." I could hear the schoolgirl giggle in her tone and I had to smile at her happiness.

"You and Edward have a good time alone?" I snuggled with Darcy and could still smell Edward's cologne in my hair.

"Yeah. He was acting a little funny at points though. Not sure why, but do not even try to change the topic. I'm happy for you. Jasper really seems to like you a lot. He already treats you ten times better than James ever treated me." I knew once I said this, that I should not be dampening her evening with the pathetic state of my relationship. "I'm sorry Alice. Let's focus on you tonight."

"Don't worry so. Things will get better. It was an awesome walk. You know the rest of the group is going to freak out when they find out tomorrow." She giggled as she said this. I tried to remember ever feeling that way at the beginning of a relationship that I had been in, but couldn't. There were never really those happy times in my relationships. There were better times, but never really happy and exciting times. Was it because I could never really appreciate what I had or was it because my friends were right and I had never found someone who deserved me? Tears streamed down my face, Alice said goodnight, and I just silently cried myself to sleep wondering if I would really ever deserve more.

The next day was very similar to the day before, except as people returned to the building they began hearing the news of Alice and Jasper's new relationship. I was glad for my roommate. She had a couple of previous boyfriends, but there was nothing special about any of them and they were not good to her. We had people filtering in to say congratulations and to hear the whole story. Jasper was at the library working on a project of some sort. And just as I was sitting down to escape into my fictional world, Edward appeared at the door.

"Let's have a look at it." He said and though Alice looked confused, I knew exactly what he meant without needing anything more. I handed him my Ethan Frome paper. He sat down at my desk, as I started to read. Alice was telling the story of her and Jasper to Emmett and Rosalie who had been dating since freshman year. You could tell they were excited to have another Preston couple in the group. I sighed as I switched my focus back to my book.

"You will have a day when you are this excited about one of your relationships," Edward was leaning from my desk chair and whispering in my ear. I looked at him wishing that he could read other people's mind and somehow get out of mine. I mouthed to him that I doubted that, but he leaned in closer and whispered again two simple words.

"Trust me." I could feel the heat of his breath on my neck. I looked into his eyes and then quickly looked away not understanding what I was feeling in that moment. He then began talking about my paper before the others noticed that we were whispering.

Rose and Emmett spoke with Alice for a while longer before going to work on their homework. I reminded Alice about her project, and Edward and I finished talking about mine. I spent most of the rest of the night reading while Jasper and Alice hung out after their work was finished and Edward worked on his essay on my computer.

I finally decided to try to sleep. It did not really matter that Jasper and Edward were still there. Something about their presence made me comfortable. I fell asleep quickly, and suddenly I was back in my high school with James holding my hand. I simply looked up and smiled.

"Did you sleep well last night?" James asked me with the warmth that I used to feel with him in his voice.

"I could have slept better, but I guess I got some good rest." I said as I acted out a scene that I felt I had already lived through once before.

"Well, I missed you over the weekend. I'm so glad to be back at school where I can see you again. There were no incidents with Riley over the weekend were there?" James was always protective over me. He hated Riley, my ex boyfriend who had a bit of a temper, and wanted me to avoid him at all costs.

"No, no incidents. It was a pretty good weekend at home. Nice and quiet. I just worked on some homework and hung out with Jacob some."

"Good, because if he did anything to you or you were hurt in anyway, I do not know what I would do." As he said these words, he pulled me toward him and held me in his arms. I remembered the feeling of safety, but I had not felt that feeling with James in a long time. Suddenly, I looked up and James had turned to Edward.

I awoke startled. Edward and Jasper were sitting on the floor while Alice sat at her computer. Fortunately, none of them noticed me waking up. I laid there thinking of how things with James used to be. I remembered those times when he held my hand and would go out of his way to walk me to my classes and see me on the weekends after work. Maybe I was as happy as Alice was at one point in my relationship after all. Those days seemed so long ago, and marred with drama occurring with other people in my life at that time. I drifted back to sleep and was free of any more dreams for the evening.

**EPOV**

I woke up still frustrated from the events of the day before. Jasper was still asleep. I had tossed and turned all night with dream of Bella. Her face when he spoke to her like she was worthless stuck in my mind. I could not just lie there any longer. I threw the covers off of me and changed into my running clothes.

I quietly left the room and briskly walked out of the building. I sighed in relief at the chill in the air. I then ran toward the area of campus called the horseshoe. It is the original campus where the first buildings were built and survived the carnage of the Civil War. I just ran and tried not the think about the causes for the pain and suffering I saw in Bella's eyes. Instead I focused of the movement of oxygen in and out of my lungs. At length, I needed a brake from running, but was not yet ready to go back to Preston. I went where I always went when I needed to be by myself; the Fountain behind the Caroliniana Library.

I sat at the fountain for about twenty minutes thinking about everything that I tried to forget during my run. The enigma of Bella past was something I could not get past. Besides James, the only person who she ever spoke of was Jacob. Although she mentioned him very little, I could tell she cared for him deeply. I'd be lying if I said my heart did not tug with jealousy over the way she would speak about him. I went through the motions of the day and couldn't wait for dinner.

During dinner, Alice got everyone's attention by telling Bella, "So Bell, you have not told the boys the good news." In my heart, I prayed that she was going to say she dumped James, but given the situation I doubted that was the news.

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot." Bella answered being vague.

"Well, don't keep us waiting," Emmett hated feeling like he was left out.

"Well, Jacob called this afternoon to talk about plans for next weekend. He wants to come here next weekend. He wants to get to know you guys better, and I think he does not want to go home and deal with his parents two weekends in a row." Jacob was coming. Maybe I could see if this was really just a friendship or it was something more. I had met him before when he came down, but we did not interact much.

"That will be fun. We'll have to get out of Preston and do some things so that he does not think we are too boring." Bella glowed as I spoke about making Jacob feel at home. I wish she looked like that when she spoke about me.

********A/N So I got a little of Edward's POV. Have patience with Bella it will take awhile for her to realize she deserves better than James. I mean she is dealing with a serious past here. Reviews and constructive criticism welcome****


	3. Declarations

Stephanie Meyer owns all things twilight.

Updates are going a little quicker than I thought right now because most of the is from an already written novel. Hope you enjoy!

Declarations

The days passed by quickly as I waited for Thursday. Classes went well as usual. Every evening consisted of schoolwork, Preston dinning, and some downtime if my work was completed on time. I did not hear from James until Tuesday. I was sitting at my desk working on some history homework when my phone rang.

"Hey honey." I answered bracing myself for the conversation and hoping that I was bracing myself unnecessarily.

"Hey Bells." I cringed, but tried to stay positive. "I know I was a little rude Saturday, but I really did not appreciate your tone. Try to understand that. Did you have a good weekend?" That was the closest thing to an apology I ever got. He was rude and demeaning, and then I was to blame for making him act that way. It was typical James of the last few months. Whom was I kidding; it had been typical for the last year if not longer.

"It was pretty good. I got some work done for school and hung out with my friends. Jacob is coming down this weekend. That is pretty much it." Silence on the line. "Hello? James?"

"Jake is coming there?" His voice seethed with rage. I tried not to be intimidated by his tone.

"Yes. I was going to come up there and meet him, but he wanted to come down here for a visit. What's wrong?" A feeling of dread washed over me. I knew the conversation would not end well and began bracing myself for some sort of cheap shot.

"If you are trying to get me to come down there by saying this, it is not going to work." Where was this coming from? Did he think I spent my days trying to find ways to trick him to come see me?

"That was not my intention. You have made it quite clear that you are not coming, and I have reconciled with that fact. However, Jacob wants to come and see me. I don't think he wants to go home two weekends in a row."

"You and Jacob have a thing going on that I don't know about? The dude has had a thing for you since high school after all. You don't think that coming there will be a perfect time for him to make his move?" The anger in his voice had not dissipated, if anything it had grown.

"No," I answered as Edward walked in the room. "Jake and I are just friends as we have always been. We are nothing more than friends. Why are you all of the sudden obsessed with the idea that I am cheating on you?" Edward rolled his eyes and sat down beside me on a beanbag stroking my hair.

"This is not about me you bitch. It is about you. You had better not think that just because you are an hour away that you can go fuck any guy who walks." He had never spoken with this much hatred towards me before. Tears started rolling down my face. "You hear me?"

"Got it," was all that I could choke out. I took a deep breath to compose myself.

"You coming here soon?"

"Probably the weekend after Jacob comes here." I said knowing that that was Halloween and that I would be missing the big party. Edward just looked at me and nodded letting me know that he understood.

"Good, you better if you know what's good for you. I'll call you later. Love you." The line disconnected before I could even answer, and I fell into Edward's arms. I was in disbelief over what I had just heard. Alice and Jasper walked in as I was crying and Edward just shook his head. I knew he would explain everything later. Edward ran his hand through my hair as I sat in his lap. Every so often, he would whisper little words of comfort. I stayed wrapped in Edward's arms for as long as it took the pain to dull.

That night he and I skipped Preston dinning and he took me to Beezers, a sandwich shop at the end of the horseshoe and across from my fountain, to grab a sandwich and walk around the horseshoe. Beezers is an institution in the Columbia and USC area.

As we walked around the horseshoe hand in hand, we talked about everything other than James's reaction to Jacob coming to town. Edward caught me up on his father's medical research and mother's decorating firm. I talked about the latest news with my family. We even discussed some books we had read over the summer that we had not talked about yet. We relished the time when we could be together without our friends. Though we loved having them around, when we were alone, there was no need for whispered conversations. We could be more open. Conversation between the two of us always came natural, but the unusual part of our friendship is that we were just as comfortable in silence.

The rest of the week buzzed by with only few word conversations with James making it clear that I was his girlfriend and was not to be affectionate with any other guy. I counted my blessings that he never came down and saw the interaction between Edward and myself. If his jealousy of Jacob were bad, then his reaction to the bond I shared with Edward and the physical intimacy that we shared would be equal in destruction to the eruption of Mount Vesuvius. In spite of the conversations with James, I looked forward to Jake's arrival.

Thursday afternoon I walked back to Preston excited that all of my friends would be out of class and most likely sitting in the lobby. I was so excited that I barely even registered Edward continuing the discussion from our English class.

"Hey Bella. Are you excited about Jacob coming?" He asked as we were almost to the back door.

"Of course I am. Why do you ask?"

He smiled and ran his fingers through his hair before answering. "Because you have not been listening to one word I've been saying since we left class." He turned his face towards me with his head cocked to one side. I smiled timidly.

"I'm sorry Edward. I'm actually a little nervous about seeing Jake. I haven't seen him at all since summer. Forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive. Let's go inside." We walked in the door and Jake lifted me up in the air. He gripped me in a big bear hug and twirled me around until I was dizzy.

"You got here early," I screamed as he put me down and then jumped back into his arms for another hug. At length he put me down, and I stared at the beautiful brown eyes that I had missed over the weeks since returning to Preston.

"Wanted to surprise you girl. How was your week?" I knew when he asked me that a shadow crossed over my face because the next question he asked was, "What did he do this time?" He had grabbed my hands after our hugs and had not yet let them go. We stood there facing one another with conjoined hands.

"Oh, he accused her of cheating on him with you and pretty much any other guy alive." Emmett answered as my face fell and pointed towards the floor. Jake grabbed me by the chin and jerked my face upward.

"Lets not go backward, only forward," he said to me in earnest and I knew that he meant for me to hold my head up high. I took a moment to take in my best friend's appearance. His normally tan skin was paler than normal. I wondered how many hours he was spending in the library instead of outside participating in sports. I could not help but notice the other differences in Jake. He was a little leaner. Jacob had never been a large person, but he was more muscular then you would have though at first. It seemed like he had lost what little fat he did have. He had dark brown hair like mine that was cut short to his head.

"Let's take Jacob somewhere besides Preston Dinning for dinner. How about Tios?" Edward avoided Preston dinning, not because of the company; but because he was not a fan of the food.

"Sounds good to me but I really want a shower before we go out. Do you guys mind waiting for a few minutes? I woke up late today and did not get my morning shower." I confessed a little embarrassed. I bite my lip waiting for some comment about how I smelt.

"No problem Bella. We'll come hang out in your room until you're ready," Edward said. Jacob looked at Edward and shrugged his shoulders indicating that he was up for anything. I signed Jacob in at the front desk and Jacob, Alice, Edward, and I walked down to the room. Jasper stayed behind to talk about some class assignment with Emmett. The guys plopped down on the beanbags and Alice sat at her desk and turned on some music. I grabbed my shower stuff and went to the bathroom. I figured it would be good for Jacob to have some time with my new friends, though I wondered what the topic of conversation would be. I jumped in the shower and tried to focus on the task at hand instead of what I knew would be revealed sometime during the weekend.

Jacob had asked me over the summer how much my friends knew of my prior relationships. I had told him that they only knew what they witnessed on a daily basis with James. I did not see how telling them more than that would make a difference to our friendship. Jake had pressed me to open up and tell them about it. A part of me hoped that he would tell them so that I could get out of it. I didn't talk about it even to Jake unless he brought it up; even then I changed the subject quickly.

**EPOV**

I heard the shower running and sat on a bean bag while waiting on Bella. Jake set his stuff down on the floor and sat near me on another bean bag.

"It is so good to be off of the road. I was about to go crazy sitting in that car." He said stretching out his legs and making himself comfortable.

"It's not an easy drive. Bella said something about you not wanting to go home two weekends in a row. Why is that?" I asked trying to sound polite and not like I was grilling him as to why he came here.

"There's not much left for me there. I mean my father is there, but most of my friends are at school with me. I wanted to have some time with Bella without James's annoying ass around making her feel bad." I was surprised Jake knew so much about how James treated her and hadn't tried to step in. I mean Bella said he was protective, how protective could he be if he lets it continue.

"Jake, can you explain the whole James thing to us? We just do not understand how she can still stay with him," Alice said with an unusually heavy tone in her voice.

"How did I know that I would be hearing that question this weekend?" He laughed dryly. "I've told Bella to talk to you and explain her past, but she just can't seem to do it. It's not really my place to say anything, but she is really leaving me with little choice. How much has Bella told you about her past boyfriends?" Jake asked staring straight at me.

"She never really talks of anyone in that capacity with the exception of James." I replied trying to remain calm, but was anxious to hear about Bella's past. A feeling of dread over what I was about to hear, and how I would handle it washed over me.

"Before Bella was with James, she was with Riley. Though James is one of my least favorite people on the planet; Riley was much worse to her. I have known Bella since elementary school. When we began high school, I noticed a marked change in her. She withdrew into herself. The only person she would open up to was me, and those times were few and far between. One day I walked out of the gym to find Riley kicking her right in the knee and making her fall." He paused and took a deep breath. I could tell he was picturing finding her and the ground. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath trying to avoid thinking of all the ways I could hurt this Riley guy. "That was when she told me that he had been beating her almost the entirety of their relationship, which was almost a year. I'm going to spare you the details because you don't want those images of her and I can't really talk about it without getting sick. Bella does not see what we see when she looks in the mirror. She has never found herself deserving. Her past has not helped with her self perception. James actually is part of the reason that she is not with Riley anymore. James beat the tar out of him. Riley broke up with her a couple of days later." I looked over to Alice who had tears streaming down her cheeks. My heart broke for Bella. No one deserves that life, but especially not her.

"You mean that that Riley gave up after only one fight?" Alice asked in disbelief.

"James is a formidable opponent. He beat Riley to the point where Riley was in the hospital. James also made it clear that it would happen again if he stayed with Bella." Jake crossed him arms and sighed diverting his gaze to the ceiling just as I had seen Bella do so many time before.

"Why would he do that if he was going to treat her just as bad?" I asked and could hear the venomous tone my voice held.

"Your guess is as good as mine. Although, as far as I know, James has never hit her."

"Maybe not, but he tears her down a little each day. It's getting worse by the day." I said hearing Alice release a little whimper. This affected more than Bella, whether she could see this or not. We were left having to watch her suffer knowing there was nothing we could do to make him go away, though loving the idea of getting rid of him.

"Why do you think that she stays with him?' Alice asked with a little more composure to her voice.

Jake answered with the very same though that I had. "I think she has some sort of warped idea that she owes him for getting her away from Riley. Bella can be a great actress when to wants people to believe that there is nothing wrong with her. Keep that in mind. She tries hard, but there are little signs to show that things are bad." Jake said looking between Alice and I like he was pleading for us to recognize the signs. Little did he know that I knew most of those signs to which he was referring. The lip biting, staring at the ground, and fidgeting were second nature to her and she rarely realized she was doing it.

"She is like Ethan Frome then. Staying because of a sense of obligation. Why I am not surprised?" I said looking Jacob in the eye and shaking my head in frustration.

**BPOV**

I heard it all. Alice and Edwards knew about Riley and I did not have to tell them. I knew it would come out and I could honestly say that I was relieved. I tried not the picture Edward's jaw clenching as Jake told him the history. Jake left out the worst of the details, and I was glad because I did not really want Alice and Edward to look at me and see the images that Jake had tried so hard to forget.

The water was still running when I got out and began to dry off. I heard Jake answer Edward.

"Something like that is pretty accurate. I have tried hard not to push her too hard to leave him, though I must admit I hate the guy, and I don't hate many people. Bella is special and deserves better. I have not had the guts to tell her that I want her to leave James and be with me. I guess I am scared that she will shoot me down."

I sat down on the toilet before I lost full control of my legs. Did Jake just admit that he loved me? It couldn't be. I mean if he really felt that way he would have told me and not a room full of my friends that to him, where little more than strangers.

"You never told her?" Edwards's voice had an edge to it that I could not quite point out. He sounded awkward, something that I never connected with Edward.

"Never. Some things are better left unsaid. I did not want to be the reason she left those guys. I wanted her to leave of her own volition and to realize she deserved better on her own. I did not want her to see me as her savior and want to be with me in order to escape James. If I were to end up in a relationship with her, I would want her to love me because she loves me and not because I saved her from a worse fate. You guys are helping her see herself more clearly and for that I thank you, because it is something that I have never been able to do." Jacob had a bit of resentment behind his pitch that only I would have noticed, the rest was gratitude. He had wanted to be the reason that I held my head high. He did not realize that without him, there would be nothing left of me.

I sat there for a few more minutes trying to compose myself. I could not deny that there had been times, often when I was lying on the floor bleeding, where I felt that life could be easier dating someone like Jake, but that was not reason enough to be with someone. Did I have feelings for him? Yes, he was my best friend and my protector. But I was not free to pursue feelings for anyone right now. I tried to put these thoughts out of my mind as I turned off the water and quickly changed into clean clothes. I quickly finished getting dressed and walked into my room. I tried to put the swirl of thoughts to the back of my mind so that I did not betray myself to them.

"Good shower Bella?" Edward's silky voice was even more tender than usual. He now knew the gritty details of my past. I found myself praying that his opinion of me had not changed with his knew knowledge of my past. I knew I needed to be stronger, but that would be harder if he treated me with kid gloves.

"Yep. It was nice. It is amazing how much better a shower can make you feel." I noticed that Alice was focusing on her computer, and not looking my way. She was quiet, which was not standard for Alice. I was sure that she was holding back the feelings that were now swirling in her head about the treatment I had once endured and still was enduring. I grabbed my hairdryer and dried my hair so that when Jasper came we would be ready to go grab some food. I focused on the gray rug beneath my feet while drying my hair. I did not want to see the looks of pity that I knew were being shot at my back from my friends. After finishing drying my hair, I continued to get ready. I put on some fresh makeup and tried to avoid interaction with anyone.

A few minutes later, Jasper appeared in the door. He simply rapped on the frame of the door and walked over to where Alice was sitting to give her a hug. She simply looked up and wrapped her arms around his waist. Why couldn't I find a relationship like that? Why was I all of the sudden thinking about finding another relationship at all? The funny thing is I had the chance at a relationship with that much love and concern, but was unable to accept it. I tried to understand why, but was unsure of what exactly was preventing me from running to Jacob.

"So what are the plans for the evening?" I was trying desperately to sound normal. I had a feeling Jake could see right through my façade.

"How about a tour of campus? It is such a nice night and I feel like a walk. Who's game," Jacob asked. He was one for the simple pleasures in life. His interest lay in things like a good movie, music, or simple walks.

"I'm always game for a walk, but what about dinner first?" Edward replied as I could hear his stomach growl.

"Ok Edward lets get some food in you." Alice replied and stood up to get her things.

We all got our coats and walked towards Tios to grab some food. Tios is a Mexican place that is located right next to Beezers. We walked through the rose garden by the edge of the horseshoe. Edward was not as affectionate as usual when we walked. He did not offer his arm or try to steal my hand. A large part of me missed that closeness, but hoped it was just because of Jake's confession and not because of other information that he had received.

I sat in between Jacob and Edward once we got there, and tried not to feel too awkward. The conversation varied between schoolwork, parents, and the latest movies. I was just relieved that I was not the focus. I stayed quiet at dinner and focused on my food and the Mexican décor, hoping that everyone would get to know each other better.

"Bella, how are your classes going?" Jake never let me be too quiet. He struggled since high school trying to get me to speak more in larger groups.

"Classes are good. I have three classes with Edward, which makes doing the homework more fun. My two History classes are interesting as well. One focuses solely on the history of Latin America and the other is European History, which as you know is pretty much a repeat from high school for me, but I had to take it again because the AP class only exempted me for one of the two European requirements."

"I know all too well. Bella and I took AP European History together. It was quite a trip. She was the only one in the class to ace the exam." He explained to the others, who weren't privy to the history.

"I am sure I did not ace it, but I did fairly well. We had the best teacher for that class. He taught some of the material using Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I loved going to that class. In the government class I had with him, he sat us all in order based on our political spectrum views."

"So from right to left? Where did you fit into that Bella?" Japer and Edward had a greater enthusiasm for talking politics than I, but that did not mean that my views were not strictly formed. I just did not show them as passionately. I bite my lip looking back and forth between everyone.

"She was as far left as you could be and still be in the classroom." Jake answered sensing my delay.

Alice, as always, was the first to respond, "Our little Sophia the quiet liberal. I'm so proud." She acted as if she was tearing up due to the pride. .

I ignored them and I went back to answer Jake's question. "So with the exception of my European History. My schedule is very well suited to my interests."

"Edward you are an English major as well?" Thankfully, Jake wanted to get to know more about my friends.

"Yes, I am. I have a double major in English and Anthropology." He said catching my eye.

"If you don't mind my asking, what do you want to do with those degrees?" Jake said before taking a sip of his sweet tea.

"I don't mind at all. Many people wonder what the heck I am going to do with either of those degrees, but I'm planning to get my PHD in Anthropology and try to research the literature of different cultures."

"Wow I feel like an underachiever," Jake said laughing.

"You are the last person who should feel like that. You are going to be the great doctor in the family." I said taking a bite of my food.

"True, but my job will be something much more common than Edward's will be."

"My father is a doctor. It takes a special person to be a good doctor. You have to know how to read people. I think you are well suited for it," Edward replied. "From what our dear Isabella says, you have her pegged." Jake laughed and looked at me with a smile on his face. I noticed myself biting my lip and resisted looking at my food.

"Bella takes some time to crack. When you have known her as long as I have, then she will no longer be so mysterious." He responded with a chuckle and patted me on the back. Edward had a look on his face that I could not make out. It was not really an angry face. It resembled more regretful than any other feeling I could trace. Jasper and Alice were in their own little world talking about something that the rest of us did not even try to hear. They finally snapped out of it as the waitress brought us our checks. Jake grabbed mine and put it with his, handing them both to the waitress with his card before I could protest.

"Sorry Bella. I knew you would not let me pay so I had to be sneaky." I stuck my tongue out at him and crossed my arms across my chest as if I was pouting.

After dinner, we walked around campus. We started with the horseshoe, and I was happy when Edward's arm found its way back around my waist as we walked. I knew then that nothing had changed. It was a brisk night, but perfect for a walk. The campus was lit up all over so even when it got dark, it was still light enough for him to get a feel for the scenery. I did want take him around the horseshoe and to my fountain in the daylight though. Edward pointed out all of the interesting places on campus and I occasionally joined in with my thoughts or opinions.

We finally went back to Preston after what seemed like hours. I collapsed on Zelda and Edward and Jacob sat down on either side of me and laughed at my dramatics. Alice and Jasper went to hang out in Jasper's room for a few minutes, which the rest of us knew meant that they were going to make out.

Emmet and Rosalie came into the lobby shortly after Japer and Alice had left. In many ways, they were easier to spend time with than Alice and Jasper because the newness of their relationship had worn off so they were not as outwardly affectionate.

"Hey guys," Emmett said as he came in with Rosalie behind him.

"Hey Bitches! What's going on," Rosalie asked in her normal boisterous manner. They both sat on the brown leather couch to join into the conversation.

"Hey you two. This is Jacob. He is a friend of mine from home. Jacob this is Emmett and Rosalie." I made the introductions knowing that I would not need to say much more as everyone in the room was more than able to carry on a conversation with a new acquaintance without any assistance.

"Jacob eh? Welcome to Preston. Where do you go to school?" Emmett began the conversation, while giving Jake a surveying look trying to size him up/

"UNC Chapel Hill. I'm a Pre med student up there. How long have you two known my Bella?" Edward's hand flinched beside mine. I looked at him and he stared at me for what felt like forever, before grabbing my hand and turning his attention back to Rosalie.

"Man, since the beginning of last school year. She was fortunate enough to be my suitemate." Rosalie answered with her usual flair and twirling her blonde curls around her finger. "At first I thought you might be James, but then I noticed you looked too nice to be him. I'm glad you're not him, because I do not have enough energy to beat anyone up today."

Your business in Preston was not just yours but everyone's around you as well. It could be very annoying after awhile, but it was something that you either dealt with or got so sick of that you moved out. It was not the people who caused this to be, it was more like a special atmosphere in the building the required everyone to be in everyone else's business.

"Thanks, because I really do not want to be James. No offense Bella." He responded to Rosalie truthfully, though squeezed my free hand to make sure that I knew he did not want to hurt me. The conversation continued for a long time with Rosalie and Emmett giving Jacob the third degree about his friendship with me. I let him answer the questions and occasionally added an anecdote about high school or middle school. It felt natural for Jake to be there with me. I found myself once again wishing that he had chosen to go to USC and that we were not so far apart.

"Did you two ever date?" Emmett asked. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. The idea of Jake and me dating had not seemed like a possibility until earlier in the evening. No matter how pleasant that thought may be, I did not allow myself to entertain the idea. Just as I was about to answer the question, Jake responded.

"No, I have not had that pleasure. By the time I was smart enough to realize my interest in Isabella, she was already taken. She has not been single since, which leaves little opening." He was as calm as I had ever seen him. His true feelings were finally coming out into the open. I had discovered them a few hours earlier, but now he was telling me for what he thought was the first time. I did not know how to act. I had to act in a way that would make it appear that I had not heard his earlier confession, but not as though I was affronted by his feelings. Edward's hand withdrew from mine, and I immediately felt empty. Why did Jake feel it was smart to tell me this for the first time in front of a group of people?

"Did you know he felt that way Bella?" My heart beat faster and I was biting my lips. I tried not to look back at Jacob or Edward.

"I had no idea." That was all the reply that I could share with Rosalie, which I was sure would not be satisfying. All of the sudden, I felt Edward's arm pulling me towards him. I dared not fight it. I was in his arms before I knew it. I knew he could feel what was coming on. The familiar feeling of panic began to encroach on my personal space. I tried to fight it off.

"Well, if Bella ever does get single Jake, you may have to fight Edward for her." She laughed as she said that. My face I'm sure was as red as can be. Jake's eyes were towards me and I could almost hear the cogs in his head turning wondering what my roommate and suitemates had already wondered. Did I have feelings for Edward?

"You are worth being truly loved you know that right?" I heard Edward's whisper in my ear and could feel his breath on my neck. I shortly forgot that other people were in the room beside the two of us. My mind was beginning to wonder. Jake's retort was what snapped me back into the present.

"As long as he treated her with respect, I would step aside if that is what she wanted. What she wants is what truly matters."

"Well spoken sir. Bella you should really dump James for Jake here. He has my approval." I laughed off those words and tried to figure out some way to change the subject. Edward's grasp on me tightened. As if she could feel that her roommate was in serious need of a subject change, Alice came into the lobby and jumped onto the chair beside the fireplace.

"Hey Emmett. Hey Rose. What's going on?"

"Where's Jasper," Rosalie asked. "He isn't glued to your side." My roommate was just then my favorite person in the world. I was also grateful to Rose for being able shift attention so readily. I leaned towards Edward and whispered into his ear.

"I'll be right back. I'm just going to get a drink from my room." He nodded and I got up and walked to the door as quickly and quietly as I could to enter the main living hall. I went towards my room knowing that Edward would tell the others where I went if they inquired. I practically fell onto a beanbag. Had Jacob really just declared his feelings in front of a group of people, one of which being Edward, when he had never even told me twice in the same night? James was right about the fact that Jacob had feelings for me, but was once again wrong about the fact that those feelings would lead me to cheat on him.

I tried to collect myself and grabbed a drink. I hoped that they would not ask what took me so long to get a drink from my room. I walked back towards the lobby and saw both Edward and Jake sitting side by side. They both looked up at me as I went through the doorway. In that moment, I realized that both of them meant the world to me. Both were just as important, and yet I had known Edward several years less than I had Jake. I moved towards them and sat equidistance from them in the middle of Zelda. I tried to be casual.

"Hey Bella. Why don't we go for a quick walk just the two of us," Jake asked. I nodded in agreement and got up to follow him out the back door looking back at Edward, whose face was towards Alice so that I could not see his expression. I walked to the door. Jake held the door open for me. We both began to walk. The night was cold enough to bring a chill. I shivered. He took his arm and wrapped it around my shoulders in a vain effort to keep me warm.

"So how pissed are you?" He looked down at me as we walked.

"Very. Why the hell did you tell me first in front of them?" I wrapped my arm around his waist and squeezed.

"No particular reason. I guess I just finally got the nerve. Maybe I felt if there were people around, you would spare my life." He paused as he looked at me. Sighing he continued, "I'm sorry I should have told you one on one, but don't lie to me when I ask you this. You heard me talking to your friends earlier didn't you?" We stepped up out of the Preston Garden and began walking towards Gibb's Greene, a green space in the middle of several class buildings.

"Yes, I heard you, but you should have told me earlier." We continued to walk side by side with his arm around my shoulder. I looked past the treetops in search for any stars that could be seen through the lights of Columbia.

"Come on Bella. Have you honestly never thought how easy it could be for the two of us to be together?" I turned my face away from him and focused on finding a star in the black night.

"I have thought about it before Jake, but I never let myself believe it could come to fruition. We have always been close, but I thought that was just the nature of our friendship. I just don't think that I can take the risk. I want to say yes. I want to throw myself in your arms and forget about James, but something is holding me back." As I said these words, I looked into his eyes and felt a sting of pain. The last person in the world I wanted to hurt was standing before me and the look in his eyes told me that my words were hurting him.

"Fair enough. It was not as if I was expecting you to leave him, but I guess you still needed to know the truth. I love you girl. I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember. Before you even started dating James or Riley, I loved you. I regret never telling you then."

"I love you too. You know I do." I snuggled further into Jake's side as we walked for a minute in silence.

"So Edward." he said. The questioning inflection in his voice made me aware that he had noticed the potential feelings that others seemed to.

"What about him," I asked wearily.

"Do you have feelings for him?" He asked as we stopped walking and turned towards each other.

"Edward is my Preston version of you. If the feelings are more than that, I have not discovered them yet." I said looking up into his eyes.

"They are." Jake answered almost inaudibly as he wrapped me in his strong arms.

"What?" I said breaking the connection by taking a few steps back.

"You are not just friends with Edward, Bella. That whole 'just friends' thing is bullshit. It is more than that. I know you, and you know it. You just don't want to admit it to yourself. You have never looked at James, Riley, or, hell, even me the way you look at him. And of the three of us, I know you love me the most. You're in love with Edward." He looked at me straight in the eyes as he said this. There was no pain showing from him, just sincerity. Was he right? Was I in love with Edward? I looked at the stars and kept walking. After some time, I looked back at Jake, but remained silent.

"I know you are in love with him." The more he said it, the more it sounded true. Jacob could see things even when I couldn't. Was he seeing this first?

As I kept staring at him, he said, "Oh Bella, don't be blind. You are crazily in love with him."

"So what if I am? I'm with James now, and Edward does not feel the same way."

He sighed and looked up towards the stars, "I would not be so sure about that."

"Edward and I are just friends. He sees me as nothing more than a friend or even if he does than its more like a sister."

"Okay Bella. I can't read Edward's mind. However, I do know yours. How can you stay with James when you are in love with Edward? You don't feel anything like that for James anymore, if you ever really did." Such a simple question and yet the answer was more complex than even I could comprehend.

"I don't know. I just can't give up on it yet. I know I don't have the best relationship or even a good one, but something inside of me will not let it go." I looked straight ahead, as I said this. For once, there was no looking at the ground while speaking or biting my lip. I was completely open and honest. The most intriguing part to this conversation was that I was admitting things to Jacob that I had not even allowed myself to discover until this moment. That was the nature of our relationship. He allowed me to be myself, without any fear. There was no one I trusted more than Jacob.

"Well, hopefully you will be able to let go before he causes you too much more pain." Jake turned around and we began to walk back towards Preston.

I gave Jake a hug and found myself unable to let go. Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face. He stopped walking and just stood there holding me for a while before pulling away and whipping the tears off my face.

"What's this about darling?" Jake asked without releasing his grip on me.

"I'm not happy with him anymore." I said as the tears continued to stream down my face. "When I look at Alice and Jasper or some other friends, I wonder if I ever really was happy."

"You may not have been. What you have to do is go after what makes you happy. You deserve to be content with life." Jake squeezed me a little tighter.

"Please do not tell Edward. I don't want anything with our relationship to get awkward. I'm not even sure how I feel about him yet."

"Your secret is safe with me dear. Let's walk back. I'm getting a little cold." We walked back to Preston and waiting in the lobby were the same people who were there when we had made our departure.

"Hey Bella! You are back." Edward said as he scanned over the two of us. He could tell I had been crying. I went and plopped down on Zelda next to him. He pulled me closer. Jake just sat next to us.

"You okay?" was all he whispered in my ear. I looked up at him and shook my head fighting back the other wave of tears. I was almost positive that I was in love with this caring wonderful man and yet I stayed with a jerk.

"I hope we did not miss anything too exciting. I guess I just needed to be up and moving some more. Long drives make it hard for me to sit too long afterwards."

"I was just trying to get more information from Alice here on her relationship. How long are you staying?" Rosalie stated.

"I'm staying until Sunday. The professor cancelled my Friday morning class so I came down for a long weekend. I haven't seen Bella since summer, and I need to come see my girl." Jacob answered.

"It's got to be hard man. I do not have a very science oriented mind so I would not be able to survive pre med especially at UNC." Edward seemed to be more himself than before Jake and I went on our walk, but there was still something off.

"It's not so bad. I do spend a lot of time studying, but I try to make time to blow off some steam. A few of our high school friends went to UNC as well. I see them occasionally and also hang out with the guys in my hall a good deal."

"Edward and I study together a lot which makes the work seem less like work." I sat there with Edward's arms around me facing Jake, Alice, Rosalie and Emmett. I could see that Jake knew that he was right about my feelings for Edward.

"You are lucky that you have someone to study with. I am trying to build a study group with others in my major, but have not been successful yet," Jacob said.

"Next semester is not going to be so easy though. I have to take more History than English classes. That will mean fewer classes with Edward and more studying by myself."

"Let's not talk about next semester yet. We haven't finished this semester." Emmett said. I did not even notice myself yawning until Edward said, "Bella, that's the signal that you need to get ready for bed."

"Was I yawning?"

"Yes ma'am." He answered as he smiled down.

"Come on." Jake said as he stood up and held his hands out for me to take to help me off the extremely comfortable couch. I felt Edward's muscles tense beside me. It was his job to help me up off Zelda.

"Can't I just sleep here? It takes too much effort to walk all the way down the hall." I could hear the whining sound in my voice, but did not care.

"Nope. You have to get up." Jake answered. Edward would have been nicer about saying that.

I got up and said goodnight to Emmett and Rose. Alice, Jake, and Edward, and I walked down towards our room. Once we got there, I went into the bathroom to change into sweats. I came out and Alice went into change.

"Bella, are you ready to turn in your paper on Tuesday?" Edward asked.

"Yep. I made the changes you suggested. I might have Dr. Aro look over it before I turn it in. He said he would be in his office tomorrow.

"Good Deal. Well, I'm off for the night. I am getting up to run before class tomorrow. Get some rest Bella. Good night Jake." Edward hugged me and walked out of the room. I just stared as he walked out wondering why he did not stay to help me up into my loft as he normally did. I went to my computer and checked my email. Nothing. I turned on some music and then helped Jacob get his sleeping bag set up with the blow up mattress he brought with him.

"Bella, he is a really great guy. You have every right to love him more than you do James. He takes much better care of you." Jake said as he turned on the pump to blow up the mattress.

"Who does Bella love more than James?" Alice asked with her voice elevated, standing in the doorframe of the bathroom with a look on her face that could only be seen and was impossible to describe. I began to bite my lip.

"No one." I stated in vain.

"Edward." Jake betrayed my secret to my roommate, and though I was nervous as to her response, I was glad she knew. Alice knowing things made life easier. I hated trying to keep secrets from her. I shot a nasty look at Jake, and then looked back towards my roommate.

"Bella, is this true?"

"I think so." I was biting so hard that I'm sure my lip would start bleeding at any moment. Before I knew what was happening, my roommate had almost tackled me and was hugging me so tight I could barely breath.

"I knew it. You and Edward would be so cute together. You are practically a couple now. You should tell him how you feel." The words jumbled up so quickly that had I not been used to her speaking fast when excited I would not have been able to understand her.

"I can't tell Edward anything. First, you are forgetting that I have a boyfriend. Second, I cannot tell Edward how I feel, because to him I am just a friend. Third, I just realized this myself. I need time to process." I went and got sheets for the mattress out from Jake's bag and begun to unfold them.

"I agree with Alice."

"I know you do Jake, but I believe this is my decision. I can't have Edward knowing right now. I need our friendship to stay the same for the moment. Plus, I just figured this out tonight. I really need to take time and figure out what my exact feelings are." This made sense to me, but they did not fully understand. I finished making Jacob's bed while the conversation continued.

"Do you think before you say things? You are Edward's world." Alice began and then stopped as I rolled my eyes. "Ok just keep thinking that way. I'm going to bed." Alice got into her loft. I gave Jacob a hug and kissed his cheek before I climbed up into bed. I was anxious to get to sleep and escape the thoughts revolving around Edward, James and Jacob out of my mind.

I knew I was asleep, but wanted to believe it was real. I was lying in my bed with Edward by my side. That told me that I was dreaming alone. I tried to focus on the feeling of being in his arms.

"I love you Edward. I think I have for a long time now."

"I see, and what about Jacmes," was all he could say in response. The usual tenderness in his voice was not there. I looked over to him and James was now lying there. He sat up and smacked me across the face.

"Don't you dare think about leaving me you bitch!" I woke up crying, but tried to let Jacob and Alice sleep.

Jacob must have still been awake or a light sleeper that night. He got up on the chair like Edward always did and wiped the tears from my face.

"Are you okay?" He said softly so as not to wake up Alice.

"Nightmare." I said still gasping for breath and rubbing my cheek as though I had really been struck.

"What about dear?" He said running his hand through my hair.

"James. What if I told you that the last couple of times I have seen him he has been getting violent?" I saw the anger in Jake's eyes. His hand stopped and if I was not mistaken, balled into a fist.

"How violent," he asked as he began to rubbing my hair again.

"He slapped me once for spilling something. And then has just been rough in other interactions we've had." I cried.

"It needs to stop Bella. You can't do that to yourself again. You promised me after Riley that this would not happen again." He held my face in his hands and rubbed my cheeks with his thumbs.

"I'm scared if I don't go up next weekend or if I try to leave him, it will end in worse pain." I pulled away from Jake's embrace and buried my face in my pillow. I did not want to see the pity. I just wanted to be free.

"We'll figure something out. Try to get some sleep. No one will lay a finger on you while I'm here." He kissed my forehead and I snuggled with Darcy. I fell back to sleep quicker than I thought I would. Jacob was more of my savior then he really knew.

*****So the truth about her past comes out. Hope I don't have to run and hide. Review please!****


	4. Zoo

WARNING: This chapter contains scenes with underage drinking.

Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight.

The Zoo

**EPOV**

Jacob. I did not want to like him, but we had one important thing in common. We both loved Isabella Swan. It was hard to dislike someone who obviously cared for her like I did. It appears that he is just as protective over her as I am which is saying a lot.

It took every ounce of self restraint I had not to take her in my arms when she came out of that bathroom. I did not want to imagine all the pain she had endured, but I did want to do everything in my power to take some of that pain away. After Jacob's confession of his feelings for Bella, I was not sure how to react around her. I did not want things to be awkward, but part of me wanted to grab her and claim her as mine. She noticed me distancing myself from her. She was much more observant than some people gave her credit. I will never understand how she missed the fact that Jacob was in love with her. He was pretty obvious about it.

After dinner, I tried to treat Bella as I always treated her. I did not want hear to think that I had any bad feelings towards Jake. We went on a tour of campus and I tried to remain light hearted and social. He was an easy guy to get along with, but in the back of my mind, I could not help but think that he was the competition. A formidable opponent at that, with that line, "As long as he treated her with respect, I would step aside if that is what she wanted. What she wants is what truly matters."

I mean how does anyone compete with that without looking like a selfish jackass? Then he asked her to take a walk, and I am pretty sure I didn't breathe while she was gone. If it would have been any other guy, I would have confronted him for bring her back to me with tear stained checks. As it was, I could not go of on him. He was the one person that she trusted with stuff that she hadn't even told me. Fighting Jacob would quite possibly mean pushing Bella further away. That was a chance that I could not take.

I did tuck her in that night, like I had done almost every night this semester. I was still having trouble with the thought of Jake getting to stay beside her all night. I trudged up to my room, and quickly changed before sitting in front of my computer. Jasper came in about ten minutes later.

"Stop sulking Edward. He will only be here for a couple of more days and its not like she is pushing you away." He said walking to his dresser and pulling out his pajamas.

"He is in there with her, and I can't be there. Don't tell me to stop sulking." I said as I turned back to my paper.

"He is her friend Edward. It's not like they are in there by themselves. Alice is in there two. I don't think you should feel so threatened. Any distance you are feeling from Bella right now, is of your own making." He was right, again.

"Are you ever sick of being right?" I said.

"Nope. I always enjoy it actually. Why don't you just tell her how you feel?" He said turning off the main light as I turned on my lamp.

"I can't tell her this Jasper. I don't want to sway her. She needs to leave him because she knows she deserves better. You know that as well as I." I said turning off my monitor and lamp.

"Maybe you're right. Try to get some sleep." He said turning over. I knew the heart to heart was done for the night. I tried to sleep but every time I closed my eyes I saw a bleeding Bella lying on the ground at James's feet and would startle awake. Finally after four hours of sleeplessness I fell into a dreamless slumber.

**BPOV**

I woke up the next morning and heard the sound of highlighter scratching against the page of a book. Jacob actually woke up to study early on a Friday morning. He was the most focused individual that I had ever seen. Alice had just woken up too. Her alarm would go of any minute signaling that she had an hour to get up and get ready for her classes.

I sat up and looked down at Jacob who was focusing on his anatomy book. Alice looked at me with her hair sticking every which way, and then proceeded to get out of her loft.

"Good morning you overachiever. How long have you been up studying?" I said hanging my head over the edge of my loft.

"Well, it's 9:30 now so about two and a half hours." He said as he looked up at me and smiled his toothy smile.

"You are just as bad as Edward. He is always up and running or something about the same time," Alice said as she walked into the bathroom. This was the most talkative she and I had ever been while waking up in the morning.

"Sleep well Bella?" Jake was no longer looking in my direction, but refocusing on his book.

"I did. How was the floor? I hope it was not uncomfortable." I said as I crawled to the edge of the loft and began to climb down the ladder.

"Not bad at all."

"How much more studying are you going to have to do this weekend?" I asked grabbing my robe that was hanging on the post of my loft and wrapping it around myself.

"Not much more thankfully. I recorded some of my lectures for a test this week so I'll just listen to them on the way back to school on Sunday. That's why I woke up so early today. I would be in class right now if I were at school." As Jake was speaking, I had gone to open the door to let people know that we were awake.

"Wow. I feel like I spend no time studying compared to you."

"That's not true sweets." Edward appeared at the door. A part of me felt guilty for the surge of joy that overcame me when Edward appeared there.

"Good morning Edward." I had to give Jake credit. He showed no jealousy against Edward for any of the feelings that I had for him.

"Morning Jacob. Morning Bella." Edwards grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into a hug. Alice came out of the bathroom threw her book bag over her shoulder and ran towards the door in a swirl of motion.

"Later guys. I have to grab some breakfast before class."

"Later," I yelled as I went to get my stuff to take a shower.

"Are you going to get a shower girl?"

"Yes sir. You two going to be good without me?" Edward walked over my desk and sat at the computer. I was sure he was working more on his paper.

"We'll be fine girl. I'm sure we can find something to keep us busy." Jake smiled.

I did not hurry when taking a shower. I knew that Jacob would not reveal my secret to Edward. It was one thing telling Alice, but he would not tell the object of my affection how I truly felt.

I was done with my shower and got completely dressed before walking out to my room. Edward was still at my computer and Jake was on a beanbag studying. I began drying my hair while Jake grabbed a shower. I thought about the two of them and knew how lucky I was to have them in my life. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I had two people outside of my family who took care of me and loved me.

When I was done getting ready, I walked over to where Edward was sitting and leaned onto the chair back behind him. He was working on his paper, which appeared to be six pages as well.

"What are your plans for the day?" he asked looking straight up at me.

"No real plans. Why? What's up?"

"My Anthropology professor cancelled my class so I'm done for the rest of the day."

"Why do you sound upset about that?" Jake had obviously not known Edward very long. Edward was passionate about education. He was quite possibly the only person more focused on his schoolwork than Edward.

"Edward loves his classes. He does not like it when professors cancel."

"Yeah well, I'm paying for them to teach me, so I get a little annoyed." He said as he turned back to his paper.

"Jacob anything special you want to do today?"

"Not really. It's just nice to be outside of my dorm room even if I am just in another dorm room." I looked back to Edward waiting for his plans for the day.

"Well, I have to go to the zoo for an anthropology project. You guys game? I'll have to spend an hour observing primates, but you guys don't have to stay with me. I can call Bella and catch up after I am finished."

"That sounds kind of fun. It would be good for you get outside some Jake. I am still not used to seeing you so pale." He laughed and his smile reminded me off all the goods times that we had had together. It would be so much easier being with him then James.

"Sounds good. Are you ready to go now?" Jacob was always one to enjoy going to a zoo or anything that involved animals.

"I'm game. Bella, are you ready Hun?"

"I am. Let's go." We got up and walked toward the door. I made sure that I locked the door and left a note for Alice on our whiteboard. We then began walking out towards Edward's car. Today Edward's car was in the student parking lot, which required a long walk or a short ride on a bus. The boys were up for the walk and I was not about the look like the weak female who wanted to take the bus.

Though it was October, the temperature was in the 70's and you did not require a jacket most of the month. That was the great thing about living in the south. The temperature was perfect for being outside most of the year. As we walked, Jacob and Edward discussed the respective seasons on USC and UNC's football teams. I just focused on the slight breeze and the nice weather. Every once and awhile a loud car would drive by and temporarily disrupt my reverie.

"Hey Bella?" Jacob's voice led me back into the conversation.

"Yes." I said turning toward Jacob.

"Did I tell you that Quil was asking about you?" I could see Edward's car in the distance and thought that we may never make it.

"No. How is Quil doing?" I smiled thinking about Quil and Jake together. Quil was closer to Jacob than me, but he was still a good friend to me in high school. When I had been having issues with Riley, he looked out for me to make sure I was not hurt anymore.

"He's doing pretty well. He seemed excited when I told him that I was coming to see you. You guys don't talk much do you?" Jake asked looking ahead instead of at me.

"Nah. He and I never found a lot to say to each other unless you were around." He caught me up to date with the news from our friends from high school while Edward was on the phone. After what seemed like forever, we reached Edward's car.

"Mom, I have to go. I am about to drive to the zoo for a project. Bella and Jacob are with me and I want to focus on driving. I'll talk to you tomorrow." Edward opened the front door for me and made sure I was in before closing the door. He walked around to get into the driver's seat as Jake got into the back seat.

"So Jake, tell me about Bella from high school. What was she like? She does not talk too much about it." Edward said throwing that crooked smirk at me once we were in the car and on Assembly Street.

"Well, when she was not studying or hanging out with her boyfriend, she was singing. Bella has a great voice, though she won't believe me."

"You sing?" Edward asked as he took his eyes off the road for a quick second. I shrugged my shoulders hoping that they would drop the conversation, but per usual my hoping was in vain.

"Yes, she sings. Quiet well actually." Jake said grabbing my shoulder from behind and squeezing.

"I don't doubt it. It's just that she has never sung for any of us, even with all the music we listen to or when we watch musicals." I blushed and turned away from looking at Edward and stared blankly out the window.

"Never? Bella, I don't believe you. You love to sing." I sunk into the soft tan leather of my seat and tried to blend in, but I knew I had to respond.

"I do like to sing, but some things I keep to myself. Plus, Edward's voice blows mine out of the water. Who can perform when someone of far greater talent is before you?" I said hoping that if I joked about it, it may ease some of the tension I felt emanating from Edward.

"Hey Edward, do you have an I-pod hook up?" I knew that they would make me sing once the line of questioning began. I felt myself getting nervous, but not panicky.

"I do in fact. Hand it here once you get the song." Edward said as he cast a smirk in my direction.

"Seriously guys it is not that big of a deal." Why did I waste my breath? I focused on the road while waiting for the song to begin.

"Bella he is like your best friend along with me. If you can't sing in front of him, then who can you? Don't cut him out of something that you truly enjoy. He wants to be a part of it." Edward looked at my with puppy dogs eyes as Jacob said this. I had no choice but to go along with it.

Jake handed Edward his I-pod and the song I was expecting began playing on the stereo. Leave it to Jacob to choose a Phantom song as the song. Let alone a duet.

"Edward it's a duet I know you know. You'll have to help her."

Edward began to sing the words to the All I Ask of You. I fell into a trance like state at the words and the music. When it was my turn, I began to sing without a second thought or any nerves. Of all songs, Jacob made a good choice as this was a song that I could sing with passion and one that I could get into easily.

"Edward, you have a really good voice. The two of you have more in common then even you have noticed." I looked back at him with a scowl. He and I would need to have a chat when we got to the zoo.

"Why have you never sung before," Edward asked.

"I guess I'm just a little shy about it. Jake only heard me himself by accident one day." Edward had looked seriously affronted by the fact that he had never heard me sing. His face only slightly softened when he heard that Jake had not heard me sing of my own volition at first.

"Anything else I should know about Bella, Jake? I have to find out while you are here or she may never tell me." I took a deep breath and hoped that Jacob would not reveal my only recently discovered feelings for Edward.

"Well, Edward I can honestly say you know about as much as I do now." Why had I questioned him? I knew he would not reveal that, and that made me feel guilty for second-guessing him.

"Here we are guys. I hate that I can't just walk with you, but I'll see you guys in about an hour." We got our tickets and went through the entrance gate. Edward walked to the left toward the primate area. Jake and I walked in the other direction towards the big cats. It was a sunny day and there were still some red, yellow and orange leaves on the tress.

"Really Jacob? Did it have to be All I Ask of You?" I said as my playful punch landed on his shoulder.

"Well, it could have been Point of No Return." He said with the guiltiest of looks on his face.

"Man, Jake you are trying to kill me huh?" I said as a grabbed onto his arm.

"You really do love him you know? You should have seen your face when he walked through the door this morning. It was like your life could officially begin. He's the same way when you enter a room."

"Listen Jake, I have enough problems right now. I do not need you trying to convince me of something that is not there." As I said this, I looked into his eyes.

"Alright. I like him though Bella. Do me a favor please?"

"Yes sir. What can I do for you?" I snapped to attention as though I was in the armed forces.

"If you truly don't want to be with me in a romantic way and you become single, don't let him go without a fight."

"How can I let go Jake, when I have no hold over him to begin with?" He rolled his eyes and amended his request.

"Just promise me you won't shut him out." He said with a cocked eyebrow in my direction.

"I promise." I could not deny him that, when I had denied him something far greater.

"Thanks." I squeezed his arm tighter.

We walked through the zoo looking at all of the animals and catching up with the smaller details in each other's lives that the distance had not allowed us to stay informed. He was telling me that he really had no perspective girls right now, which was probably a blessing since school took up so much of his time. I told him of all the newest episodes between James and me, going into some of the details about the escalation in his demeaning and hateful language.

"It will never get back to good between him and I will it?" I asked him as I watched the howler monkeys swing from rope to rope on their island enclosure in the middle of the zoo.

"No, it probably will not. If you know that, then why do you stay?" He inquired turning his attention to me again. I did not look back to him. I continued to focus on the monkeys.

"I am not sure. Maybe its like you told Edward, I have some sort of belief that I owe him something for taking me away from Riley. I used to see him as something of a knight in shining armor."

"You heard that too huh?" He turned back to watch the monkeys as they swung over the water.

"Yes. I heard it." I said finally pulled my focus and attention back toward him.

"You pissed?" He asked just as he had the night before.

"Pissed is not the right word. Relieved is the better word for it. I could not tell them that stuff, but I'm glad they know. I love them and I want them to know me, all of me. You have really helped me with that. I guess a part of me still fears opening up to people no matter how good they are to me."

"I am sorry if I told them anything you did not want them to know, but I trust them. They love you more than I think you realize. You also have more friends than you realize."

I looked up and smiled as I saw a familiar figure. "Edward?"

"I'm done baby girl." He came up to me and gave me a hug. "Are you guys having a good time?"

"We are. The time is flying by though. How were the gorillas?" He had not told us that he was going to observe the gorillas, but I had a hunch.

"How did you know I chose them to observe?" He said with a surprised look on his face.

"Just a guess." I shrugged and grabbed Edward's hand. We continued our walk through the zoo making sure that we caught the giraffes for Jake and the elephants for me. We also grabbed some food and sat down talking about everything from music to movies. It was about two when we decided to head back towards Preston. We listened to music on the way back and I sang along. I looked at Edward who sang with me with a smile on his face. We parked Edward's car near Preston so we did not have that far to walk.

Emmett and Embry were the only ones in the lobby when we walked in. They were both sitting on Zelda. Embry had been a friend of mine since one of the first few weeks of my freshman year. He and I met at Preston dining on taco salad night. I had been sitting with Alice when he came to sit with us. Embry majored in music and was extremely charismatic. He played a variety of instruments including the guitar and the piano. His favorite music was rock and alternative. Though most everyone liked him, Edward had never really warmed up to him.

"Hey Bella. Who's your friend?" He said as he sat there strumming on his black and white acoustic guitar.

"Hi Embry. This is Jake. He is a friend of mine from high school. Jake this is the musician in Preston." I said smiling at Embry walking further into the lobby.

"Good to meet you man. Welcome to Preston. Oh. Hello Edward. I did not see you there." He said still fidgeting with his guitar.

"Hey Embry." I ignored the tension in Edward's tone, and went to sit on the brown leather couch with Edward and Jake sat on either side of me.

"So Jake, how long are you here?" Embry asked as Edward pulled me close.

"Until Sunday. I have to head back to school then after I make a pit stop at home."

"Why do you have to stop in Charlotte?" I asked turning my gaze from Embry to Jacob. "You were just there last weekend."

"I have to stop by my house and drop something off to my dad, and then I have to meet an old friend." He winked at me and went back to talking to Embry. I spoke with Edward about the details of his zoo project.

"I hear through the grapevine that you have a thing for our dear Bella. Are you finally going to steal her away from James?" The fact that Embry had heard the news was not surprising. Word spread quickly in Preston.

"I doubt that is possible at this point in time Embry." Jake replied.

"I must say I'm disappointed, maybe I'll have to work on her a bit. What do you think Bella? Could I be enough to entice you to leave him?" He looked at me saying these words and occasionally would shift his eyes more towards Edward. I just sat there wanting to say something but was unable to form the words. Edward had tensed up and I could feel the stiffness of his arm around my shoulder.

"No offense guy, but if she won't leave him for me, then I doubt she'll leave him for you. Bella and I have known each other for a long time after all."

Embry just laughed Jacob's words off. "Well, I guess that's that. I guess it just was not meant to be Bella." I faked a smile and tried to change the subject.

"So what are the plans for tonight?" Emmett inquired as he had ignored Embry's attempt to stir up trouble.

"What would you like to do Jacob? You are the guest this weekend." Edward asked as I felt his muscles relax.

"What do you normally do on a Friday night?" He looked around at all of us.

Emmett shrugged before answering. "Normally our Friday nights consist of watching movies in the common room after grabbing some dinner out."

"We could just do that as far as I'm concerned." Jake answered. "What movie was everyone thinking about?"

"Doesn't matter to me." Embry answered. "I have a gig tonight. I won't be back until late. You guys have fun though." Embry got up and after messing up my hair, walked towards the door to the living area.

"Embry wait!' I called as I jumped out of my seat and went over to the door where he was now standing. "Where are you performing? I think we should get Jake out of Preston for the night." I whispered into his ear well aware of Jake and Edward's stares as Embry wound his arm around my waist.

"New Brookland Tavern. I would love to have you there." He whispered softly in my ear before pulling back.

"I'll see what I can do." I winked at him as he walked through the door towards his room. I then turned around to face Jake and Edward. "I don't want to just sit in Preston tonight. Let's go out." I sat down on the table in front of the two of the most important men in my life.

"What do you have in mind?" Edward asked looking uncertain as to what I had in mind.

"Well, I have never really seen Embry's band play and I have been promising him that I would go see him perform since last year. Maybe we could head over to New Brookland to see him play." I said shifting my eyes back and forth between Jacob and Edward and biting my lower lip.

"Well, Jake it's up to you. You are the guest." I immediately focused all of my attention on Jake and tried to use the pout, which he had never been able to resist.

"Well, I guess it would not kill us to get out." I threw myself on his lap.

"Thank you." I kissed his check. "You two are the best." I turned to Edward and kissed him on the check too. That is when I saw my roommate walk in the door.

"Did I miss something interesting Bella?" She asked walking over to Jasper, who looked as though he had fallen asleep on Zelda.

"We are going out tonight Alice!' I squealed trying to contain my excitement.

"What are we going to do?" She asked while leaning down and kissing Jasper to try to wake him up. He opened his eyes and smiled.

"Hey Babe." Jasper sat up and wrapped his arms around her.

"We are going to watch Embry's band play at New Brookland." Alice's attention jerked towards me as I said those words.

"You mean we aren't just sitting around here all night? We are actually going out and not just to a movie?" She continued to gawk at me.

"Yes Alice, we are going out. Bella here talked us into it." Edward said returning the kiss on the cheek that I had given him earlier.

"I am going to head to the room to get a shower. You guys going to stay out here or hang out in the room," I asked hopping up and walking towards the door.

"I'm right behind you girl. I cannot speak for the rest." Jake said as he got up and followed behind me.

"I need to go drop my stuff off anyway. You two guys coming?" Alice asked Emmett, Jasper, and Edward.

"We'll be down in a second. I need to talk to the guys for a minute." Edward said.

I swiped my ID card and walked down the hall to my room with Alice and Jake, trying not to dwell on what Edward could have to say that he could not say in front of me. I reached to get my key out of my pocket and unlocked the door. Jake and Alice were talking, but I was not paying attention about what. I grabbed my towel and headed to the bathroom.

I stayed in the shower for what seemed like hours, trying to process everything that had been happening since Jake came to visit. Jake loved me. That in itself was shocking to me. I had never thought he saw me as anything other than a best friend or a sister. I wanted to be with him, but felt that nothing would allow that to happen. I still had not determined whether my love for Edward was truly love or just a strong friendship. After I got out of the shower, I was just as confused about my feelings than before. It was then that I realized that it would take longer than a day to work these feelings out. I needed to figure out who I was and what I wanted. That would take more time than it seemed the people around me knew.

I changed back into my clothes that I was wearing earlier in the day, and walked out to my room to find the whole group listening to music and talking. I grabbed my hairdryer and did my hair. I did not even try to straighten it this time, instead I let the waves remain intact and fall over my shoulders.

"Bella, I thought we would go to dinner and then come back to change before going out to New Brookland. I spoke with Embry, and he said that they do not go on stage until nine. Does that plan work for you?" She asked eyeing me as I walked over to my computer.

"That sounds great. Any ideas on where you want to go for dinner?" I asked while checking my email. I will be damned if there was not an email from James.

"We already decided to go to Grilled Teriyaki. And you don't have to make that face at me; Jake wanted to see where it was you were always going." She said as I had turned around to look at her.

"Well, if Jake wants to go then that's what we will do. I just have to read this email real quick and we can head out whenever you are ready." Edward moved from the beanbag and walked behind me massaging my shoulders as I read the email from James.

_Dear Bells,_

_I know that you are with Jake this weekend so I think it may be for the best that I do not call you. I cannot believe that you are letting him get in the way of our relationship. I did not see him do anything to try to get you to leave Riley. I need some time to myself. I'll call when I'm ready. Remember, that you are still my girl. Don't think you aren't._

_James_

I just looked up at Edward, knowing that he had read it. He rolled his eyes and continued rubbing my shoulders. Did I mind that Edward often read over my shoulder? No. If it had been anyone else, I probably would have. Now that he knew about Riley. I did not have anything to hide from him. He and Jake were the two pillars who I could tell anything. It was nice to have someone closer who knew the details of a past that I would rather forget.

"Are we ready?" I asked getting up and taking Edward's hand in mine. He gave my hand a squeeze, and I knew it was his way of telling me he was there if I wanted to talk.

We all walked down to Grilled Teriyaki in a flurry of conversation. No one besides Edward knew about the most recent communication I had with James. It was time I took it like a big girl and not blubbered like a baby. I had plenty of people who cared about me right here. Dinner was great as usual. Jake finally understood why I ate there so often. We got back to Preston and Jake went up with the boys, while Alice, Rosalie and I got ready for the concert.

"Bella, I really like Jacob. He is such a nice guy." Alice said as she curled my hair while I sat in my gray desk chair that I had moved in front of the vanity.

"Yeah. It's nice to have him here. I tried to convince him to come with me for school, but he could not say no to Chapel Hill." I felt the heat from the curling iron near my neck and tried to remember not to pull away from it.

"I cannot believe that the two of you never hooked up. You seem so comfortable with him. It's like you feel safe to be yourself." Rosalie said as she worked on her makeup.

"If I would have known his feelings for me back in high school, I would not be dating James right now. That may be my only regret. I guess I shouldn't dwell on that now." I looked up at Alice who stared at me with an astonished look on her face.

"You mean to tell me that if Jake had told you back in high school that he was in love with you, you'd be dating him right now." Rosalie said as Alice released a strand of hair from the curling iron and continued to stare at me.

"I guess I am. I cannot believe I just said that aloud, but Jake was always my dream guy. I wish I could just dump James and be with him, but there is something holding me back. Maybe we've been friends for too long for it to be anything more right now." I felt warm tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Oh Bella. I love the boy, but I could kill Jake for not telling you earlier." Alice said as she grabbed a tissue and handed it to me. I whipped my eyes and looked up at her.

"Yeah, well, Jake is not the one you should be with anyway. Don't get me wrong, he's a good guy. But he is not the one. It's better overall." Rosalie said finishing her makeup.

"It's too late now. I just need to take some time and figure out what to do." I wiped the tears from my face and refused to let anymore fall.

"Well, let's finish getting you hot and then we'll get the boys down here." Alice said. We all finished getting ready. I wore some dark wash skinny jeans with black leather boots, and a silver top. Alice wore a black skirt with similar knee-high boots and a red V- neck sweater. Rosalie wore a hot red dress with copper heals. We grabbed our coats and headed out to the lobby to meet the boys.

"Which one of the boys will jump you first, Jacob or Edward?" Rosalie said flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"Neither." I said fighting the instinct to look at the ground as I got closer to the lobby.

I stopped at the door and braced myself, before pushing it open. I saw the four boys standing by the fish tank with their backs to us. Jake had on dark wash jeans and a burgundy button down shirt. Emmett was wearing khaki pants and a dark blue sweater. Jasper wore dark wash jean with a red button down. My eyes found Edward last, who wore brown corduroys and a black button up shirt with a green fitted t-shirt underneath. I looked over at Alice and then Rosalie who nodded as we both slowly walked up behind the boys and shouted "Boo" at the same time. All three of them jumped as they turned around looking at us. The looks on their faces were priceless. I couldn't help but laughing until I saw the look on Jake's face. I knew that look. He slowly walked towards me.

"You think that's funny girl? Huh? Do you?" I backed away slowly and then hit the arm of the brown leather couch falling backwards. Jake ran over to me and began to tickle me endlessly. I was laughing so hard that I could barely breath.

"Jake… Please… Stop…" was all that I could choke out. I felt his hands lift off me as I looked over to my right and saw Edward's face with a look I had never seen before. I looked straight ahead and saw Jake with a smirk on his face and his hands out in front of me. Emmett stood by Rose laughing so loud that I was sure people on the top floor of the building could hear him.

"I'm sorry girl I could not resist." Jake helped me up off the couch and pulled me into a hug before releasing me and grabbing my hand. We all walked out of the door and to Edward's car. Emmet and Rosalie were taking Emmett's jeep. Edward was driving the rest of us. When he started the car, he turned the music up so loud to where we could not have a conversation. Jake looked at me, confused; I shrugged my shoulders in response to his unspoken question. We rode the entire way to the bar with deafeningly loud and angry music.

When we pulled up to the club, I saw Embry talking to some people who were outside smoking before entering the bar. He looked over as though he had seen a ghost. He excused himself from his friends and walked towards us.

"So you really showed up huh?" He said speaking only to me.

"How long have I been telling you that I would come to one of your shows?" was my only retort.

"Well, dear, that's the reason I did not actually think that you would show, but it is a pleasure." He grabbed my hand and kissed it before excusing himself saying that he had to get backstage. We all went inside and ordered drinks. Luckily, they did not check IDs that night so I got a Long Island iced tea and found a table to sit at until the show began. Finally, the lights dimmed and a guy got up on stage to introduce the band. Embry entered to a roar of applause and began playing one of his original songs that he had sung to me in Preston several times before. I downed my drink, which was much stronger than normal. Whoever was bartending tonight had a heavy hand. I ordered another and downed that too.

"You might want to take it easy Bella. You aren't known for your tolerance." Jake whispered in my ear.

"How would you know? How long has it been since we drank together?" I said aware that Edward's eyes were on me.

"Too long," Jake replied as he winked at me.

"Come on Bella." Alice said getting up and grabbing my hand.

"What?" I said trying to pull back at first.

"We are dancing." She pulled me out of my seat and we headed closer to the band. Alice, Rose, and I began dancing, as the music got more upbeat. The crowd was into the music and I had to give Embry credit; He worked the crowd. I began feeling a little dizzy as the alcohol began to take its effect. Suddenly I felt strong arms wrap around my waist and continue to dance with me. I looked back and saw Edward behind me dancing. I tried to find Alice, but I could not see her.

"Where's Alice?" I asked into Edward's ear.

"She went back to Jasper." He said as he continued to move our hips to the beat. "I think she thought that you were in good hands."

"I'm always in good hands with you Edward. I never doubt that." I turned around and faced him as I continued to dance. In that moment, I was grateful that James was so far away, because he would not like the closeness between Edward and me.

"I'm glad you feel that way Bella." Edward said as we continued to dance. Something did not feel right. I could not put my finger on it.

"Edward I think I need to go sit down or go back to Preston." I slowed down and could feel myself swaying.

"Let's sit you down and get you some water." He said as he kept his arm wrapped around my waist and led me over to the table. Jake got up and rushed towards us.

"Are you okay Bella?' He had a face I had seen before whenever he found me hurt after Riley had beaten me.

"She'll be fine Jake. This is not the first time she has gotten sick like this. Jasper, can you go get our girl some water? My guess is she hasn't had much today." Edward said sitting me down in a chair and squatting down in front of me.

"Does this happen often?" Jake asked Edward as he grabbed my hand and knelt beside me.

"I'm still here you know?" I said focusing on Edward who had a smirk on his face.

"I wouldn't say often Jake, but she gets these dizzy spells. It is not the alcohol, although the way she guzzled it down, I would not be surprised if that contributed a little bit tonight." Jasper came over, handed me a glass of water, and squatted in front of me beside Edward. Emmett came right behind Jasper

"She isn't as pale this time as the last. That has to be a good sign right?" Emmett asked before moving towards Alice.

"Will you please stop talking about me like I'm not here?" I pleaded as I looked from Edward to Emmett.

"We will stop as soon as you start drinking that water." Edward said standing up and kissing my forehead before pulling a chair up in front of me.

"How long has this been going on? Why didn't you tell me?" Jake was angry. Those questions took me back to high school behind the school gym. He asked almost that exact question when he found out about Riley.

"Earth to Bella?" Jacob asked as he spun the chair around to face him.

"Sorry Jake. I was just recalling the last time you asked me those questions. I don't know why I haven't told you. Maybe because I did not think it was a big deal. I just assumed it was just being in large crowds of people. Either way it isn't something that comes up naturally in a phone conversation." I looked down and biting my lip, hoping he was not too mad. I felt his hand on my chin lifting my face up to look at him.

"I'm sorry girl. Don't look down because of me. I was just worried. Please forgive me for being short. You did nothing wrong." Jake said as he pulled me gently out of the chair and onto his lap. I looked over to Edward, and noticed his fist clenched. I gave Jake a hug and went back to sit on my chair and watch Embry perform.

I leaned over to Edward a few minutes later and whispered into his ear. "Thank you for taking care of me. Will you stay in the room tonight?" I could feel my cheeks blush when I asked the question, but I looked into his green eyes and tried not to drown in the concern there.

"Of course I will stay if you want me, Darling. It will give Jasper and Alice a chance to be alone in the room." He said grabbing my hand as a chuckled. He squeezed my hand before letting go and talking to Jasper and Alice.

"Are you having fun Jake?" I asked leaning over to him.

"Yeah. Your friend has some awesome skill. Is that an electric violin he is pulling out?"

"Yep. He has some awesome skill with the violin. I just thought I should tell you that Edward is staying in my room tonight to give Jasper and Alice some alone time."

"Alright. Will that be a little awkward seeing as how you love him and all?" He asked and he laughed at the shocked expression that overtook my face. I shoved his shoulder with my hand, before laughing myself. I still wasn't feeling quite right, but tried to stick around and enjoy the night.

"Bella." Alice was trying to get my attention.

"What's up girl," I had to yell in response.

"Are you ready to head out? I'm getting a little tired." She said as she plopped her head on Jasper's shoulder.

"Yeah we can head out. Edward, can we head back?" I asked.

"Of course. Let's go." We paid our tabs and walked out to the car. I sat in the back between Jake and Alice with my head resting on Jake's shoulder.

"He took really good care of you," a familiar voice whispered in my ear.

"He always does." I replied looking over to Edward, who focused on the road ahead. The rest of the ride was pretty quite as Edward had some music on the radio, but not nearly loudly as it was on the way there. When we got to Preston, Edward let us all out while he went to park the car.

"Jasper, Alice, I will see you two tomorrow. Jake, Let's go." I said as I made my way through the lobby and down the hall to my room. Jake followed me inside and turned on the twinkle lights as I walked into the bathroom to change. Once I was finished, Jake went in and changed into his pajamas. I sat at my computer and messed around until I heard Edward enter the room. He had already gone up to his room and changed before joining me.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"A little bit. It was so weird. I do not think it had anything to do with the alcohol. I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest." I said watching him move from the door and sit beside me on a beanbag.

"It wasn't a panic attack was it?"

"No, this was different. I'm just exhausted. Can you help me up into my loft?'

"Always. Come on." I climbed up into my loft and curled up in the warmth of my bed. I fell asleep almost instantly when hitting the pillows, because I remember nothing else from that evening.

**EPOV**

It was all I could do not grab Jake and deck him for tickling my girl like that. I felt Jasper's hand on my shoulder. That was his way of reminding me that Bella was not my girl and that I had no right to be jealous. That's easy for him to say. When we got in the car, I blasted my music. It was petty, but I was beyond jealous.

When we got to the bar, and Bella down those two drinks. I knew it would be an interesting night. Alice and Rosalie grabbed her and forced her onto the dance floor. I watched her move and wondered why she has always said that she was awkward. She could be so graceful without even making an effort.

"Damn, those girls can dance!" Emmett said taking a sip of his bear. He was the only legal drinker there.

"Yep. It's almost cruel. How much you want to bet that Rosalie and Alice planned that shit?" Jasper said with his eyes locked on Alice.

I heard Jake just laughing. "You think they would really plan that?"

"Bella wouldn't, but the other two would." I replied without taking my eyes off Bella.

"So Jake, are you willing to tell me where this James or Riley kid lives so I can handle them properly?" Emmett asked while cracking his knuckles.

"Depends. Do you want to stay friends with Bella or not?" He said nonchalantly but it cause me to look away from Bella.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Emmett said with Venom in his voice.

"Nothing against you man. I have the same desire to kick James's ass, but Bella would not like that. She is not the fighting fire with fire type of gal. Believe me I've tried that route and almost lost her." He said looking from Emmett back to Bella. "I'm going to stop Sunday and ask James's roommate to keep an eye out for her next weekend. As for Riley, he's already in jail for other shit he pulled." Jake leaned back in his chair and looked back at Emmett.

"Shit what does she want us to do, let him hit her?" Emmett asked slamming his beer on the table.

"How do you know he is hitting her?" I asked looking back to my Bella.

"I just have this feeling." He answered softly.

"I'm going to dance. I'll be back." I couldn't stand there and listen anymore. I chose to go to Bella hoping that her presence would soothe me. I snuck up behind her. Alice saw me heading their way and backed away letting me be close to Bella. When I reached her and wrapped my arms around her, she seemed to malt into me. She gave no indication that she was startled and acted as she knew who it was.

When she told me that she was always in good hands with me, I was on cloud nine. Who wouldn't be with a loving and caring girl like her in his arms? She then got a little dizzy. I must admit she had me worried when these spells hit. It did not happen often, but there would be times when she would get light- headed or dizzy. It mostly happened around crowds. When my angel had sat down and cooled off a little, she asked me to stay in her room tonight. It was like she was in my head and knew what it was I needed.

We got back to Preston and got all settled for bed. I got her tucked into bed and she was out almost immediately.

"You take really good care of her." I jumped and looked behind me. I hadn't heard Jake come back in from the bathroom

"Don't let her hear you say that. She is never one to want to be cared for, as I'm sure you know." I said putting Bella's desk chair back as I walked over to Alice's loft.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, she lets you do more for her than she has ever allowed me to." He said lying down on his mattress.

"Well, it does make me feel a little better. I just wish there is more that I could do." I looked over at the sleeping form of Bella.

"How long have you loved her?" Jake asked in a whisper.

"Who said I loved her?' I asked in response surprised at his question.

"Edward, don't take the offensively, because it is not meant as such. It is obvious." Jake said yawning at the end.

"Since I first saw her in our English class, that's how long I've loved her." I sighed.

"Yeah, I thought so. Do me a favor?" He looked up to me from his mattress.

"What?" I said shocked he was asking me for anything.

"Take good care of her for me." I was at a loss for words. Here was her best friend asking me to care of her.

"Always." That was all I could say.

"Thanks. Goodnight." He laid down and fell asleep.

**BPOV**

Saturday was an uneventful day. I walked Jacob around campus and we both walked to my fountain.

"This is my escape," I said walking up to the fountain. "I come here when I need time away from the others." I sat on the side of my fountain and dangling my hand into the water. I heard Jake walk up behind me.

"You always choose a space to run to huh? At home, it is the park beside your neighborhood. Here it is this fountain." He said sitting on the edge next to me and looking up at the fountain.

"How did you know about the park?" I asked crossing my legs in front of me.

"I saw you there a lot when I was passing by in my car or on one of my runs. I never pulled over, because I felt that you were going there to think. I did not want to intrude on your privacy."

"Well, I escape here and try to gain perspective. The others don't know where it is I run off too, but I thought I would tell you." He scooted towards me and slowly caressed my face.

"Why tell me, when the others don't know?" He asked gazing into my eyes.

"This is going to be a random question, but it will make sense in the end. Okay?" He nodded and allowed me to continue. "Do you talk about me much to your friends at school?" Jake looked taken aback and was silent for a minute before endeavoring to answer my question.

"Well, I talk to Quil about you and about our recent conversations. My other friends have heard of you, but I don't talk about you a lot. Why?" He said withdrawing his hand and focusing on my face.

"Well, my friends know you from your last visit, but I never talk about you much." He looked saddened by this statement. "It's not because I don't care about you Jake. If anything, it is because I care about you too much. It is too hard to talk about you and not be able to be with you." He nodded in understanding.

"I know what you mean. Quil brings you up in our conversations. I can't stand to talk about the distance between us, so I try to ignore it." He said grabbing my hand in his.

"That's just it. I needed to bring you here. That way when I come here in the future I can feel like I am closer to you. You are the only one who knows I come here. This is our secret. I will be with you when I run here from now on." I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him so hard I thought I might hurt him.

"Thank you Bella. I'm going to hold you to that. This will be our space. I do not want to leave tomorrow." He said grabbing my hand again.

"I don't want you to go either, but it will be Thanksgiving before you know it. We will talk more until then." I said and pulled Jake up and back towards Preston and towards my other friends.

A/N Thanks you guys for all of your kind words. This is my first major work and it is so great to hear kind thoughts! I hope you like where the story is going. Reviews always appreciated!


	5. Kiss

*****Stephanie Meyer owns all thing Twilight*****

Warning: there is some offensive language and violence in this chapter.

The Kiss

**BPOV**

All too soon, it was time for Jacob to leave. He said his goodbyes to everyone in the lobby. We had brought his Eclipse up to a meter the night before. No one followed us outside as I walked him out to his car, but a couple of people did walk to the window by the door. He loaded the trunk with his things and walked back towards me. I stood there focusing on the Tar Heel parking sticker on the rear windshield of his car instead of focusing on him.

He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into a hug. "Bella, you know I love you. I've been in love with you for years, and at least for now there can be no one else."

"I know Jake, but it just can't be more than friendship. I have a lot of things that need to be worked out." I said squeezing him.

"I know we are just friends. Don't forget your promise. You won't shut Edward out, no matter what."

"I have not forgotten Jake. I rarely forget anything I promise you."

"Yeah, well don't start forgetting now. Would you forgive me if I did something that ever upset you?" He whispered in my ear.

I pulled back to look at him in the face and said, "Jess there is nothing that you could do that I would not forgive." A smirk spread on his face.

"I'm counting on that," he said as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. Before I could protest his lips meet mine. It was urgent as though this was the last interaction that the two of us would ever share. I did not try to fight it. I felt the chill of the fall air blow against my skin that seemed to have a fire burning just underneath. I moaned at the feeling and his tongue rubbed my bottom lip asking for permission to enter. I bestowed control to him and allowed his entrance. I lost track of how long we were there in such an intimate embrace. I had dated someone since eighth grade and kissed all of my boyfriends, but had never experienced this feeling. A part of me did not want it to stop, a miniscule part of me knew it was wrong, and yet I still did not withdraw.

He suddenly pulled away and then turned and got into his car. I was left panting and unable to move. I felt a loss at the heat between us and began to shiver. Before I knew it, he was down Greene Street and I could no longer see his car.

Only when his car was out of sight did I turn and walk back into Preston. I jumped up the steps and then walked through the lobby and straight to my room. I did not see or hear anyone else on the way. I left the door open as I collapsed on the beanbag closest to my desk.

"Um, Bella?" Edward said as he poked his head into my room.

"Yes, Edward what is it?" I said not focusing on him, but staring instead at a crack in the tile by my feet.

"Nothing major or anything, but do you just realized that you walked by all of us in the lobby just now and did not even respond when we called your name?" I looked up at these words.

"You called my name?"

He looked worried. "Yes. Not that I expect for you to come whenever I call, but you seemed to be out of it and you look a little flushed." He kneeled down by the beanbag so that he was eye level with me.

"She was and still is totally out of it." Jasper reiterated as he entered and plopped on the blue beanbag closer to Alice's side of the room.

"Sorry, I'm just processing the magnitude of what just happened."

"Jacob just went back to school Bella, it's not like he died." Emmett had a way of putting things into perspective. Jasper grabbed the puff ball that Alice and I would throw at each other when we were trying to distract the other person, and began tossing it in the air and catching it. I locked eyes with Alice and held a conversation that only the two of us could understand.

"He kissed her." Alice had understood what the guys couldn't. I had to love the way that girls could silently communicated.

"What?" Edward's jaw clenched. "Is she right Bella?" Edward asked with an edge to his voice making the answer that much harder to speak.

"Yes." I could tell that Edward wanted to be angry, but it was Jake and Edward really liked Jake. I sat there trying to figure out what that meant to me. Jake, my best friend, had just kissed me with a passion that few experience, and though it was a great kiss, I had two thoughts going through my head. Jake would never be anything more than my best friend and wondering if this qualified as cheating.

"Um guys I have a bizarre question given what just happened, but does that mean I cheated on James." I looked at Edward. He shook his head and Annabel answered before he could speak.

"No, Bella he kissed you. It's not like you initiated it, right?" Alice would be the analytical one with me. That's how girls minds worked.

"No I did not initiate it. I will never be more than friends with Jake." I kept my eyes locked on Edward.

"I'm sorry. I have to go. I'll see you guys later." Edward said suddenly. He was out the door with Emmett hot on his heals before I could even find out why he had to leave.

"I'll go see what that's about." Jasper followed Edward out of the room.

"Jake kissed you?" Alice said moving into the space that Edward had previously occupied.

"Oh yeah, he kissed me." I responded smiling and looking at my roommate

"Was it good?" I blushed at her question. I had never been one to kiss and tell, but this was an odd situation.

"Well, it was passionate, but weird. I know I could not be with him, even though I am attracted to him. Does that make any sense?"

"To me it does. But damn I cannot believe Jake just kissed you."

"Me either. I'm totally never telling James about it." I began to laugh lying back on the beanbag and looking to the ceiling.

"God no. He would flip out. Totally not worth it. I think Edward's jealous."

"What? He is not." My head popped up as I looked at the sincerity in her face.

Annabel rolled her eyes and responded. "Why else would he have to leave all of the sudden?"

"Well, he was getting a call from his mother actually." Jasper and Emmett came back into the room. I went back to lying on the beanbag and staring at the ceiling.

"Hey babe. His mother was calling?" Annabel replied as she got up and walked to her desk with Emmett resuming his position on the blue beanbag.

"Yeah. She had something to tell him. I did not get all of the details. He said he had something to deal with and he'd be back down in awhile." Jasper quickly changed the subject and I grabbed Pride and Prejudice and pretended to read. Instead of reading, I was thinking about the kiss. Can being intimate with someone really feel that good? I wondered what kissing Edward would feel like. I knew that I should not be thinking of that, but I stopped caring about what James was thinking. He had made no effort to call me while Jake was there. I had every intention of finding out a way to rid myself of him by the end of the year. A while later, while I was reading I heard someone come into the room, but did not look up from my book.

**EPOV**

I had to get out of there. I was not one who had problems controlling his temper, but I could not let Bella see the effect that the kiss was having on me. Emmett was right behind me.

"You alright man?" He asked with a very serious tone for Emmett.

"I'm trying to be. Would you mind letting me borrow your punching bag in your room for a few minutes?" I asked as I saw Jasper walk out of the room.

"Of course not. Come on. You coming Jasper?" Emmett said opening the stairwell door and holding it.

"Right behind you two." I almost ran up the stairs and waited for Emmett to open the door.

"Have at it man." He said.

"So Jake kissed Bella? I did not think he had it in him." Jasper said holding the bag for me as I began punching as if I was fighting for my life.

"Trying to get that image out of my head Jas and you aren't helping." I said quickly returning my attention to the punching bag.

"Alright, how about this? What are you going to tell Bella was you reason for running down there you pansy?" Emmett asked.

"Shit! I did not mean to run from her. Can't you just tell her my mom called me?" I said.

"Listen Edward. We'll tell her what you want us to, but this does not mean she is going to run off and be with him. Try to keep that in mind. Close the door when you finish." Emmett and Jasper left the room and I sat on the floor staring at my hands which I was sure would be bruised tomorrow. I knew I had no right to be so upset. Bella was not my girl; A fact that I hated to remind myself of, but was the truth none the less.

I picked up my phone and called my mom. I couldn't have anything I said to Bella be a total lie.

"Esme Cullen." I never understood why she always answered that way when she had caller ID and could tell it was me.

"Hey Mom."

"Edward. How are you Darling?" Leave it to my mother to be able to soothe me.

"Not much. Jacob just left and I thought I'd give you a call to see how you are doing?" I said trying to sound a little less like a mama's boy.

"Well, your father is working so I have been working on the guest house. We were talking about coming to see you before too long."

"I'd like that Mom. I've been pretty bad about coming home huh?" I said feeling suddenly guilty.

"Oh Edward. Don't feel guilty for that. You are living your life, as you should. Also, you have Bella up there. I still want to meet her."

"I would love for her to meet you. Hopefully, we can work that out soon."

"She still with that boy?" Esme was never found of James from the moment I first mentioned him.

"She is. Jacob just kissed her."

"What? He just kissed her and left?"

"Pretty much." I tried to keep my voice from betraying my irritation.

"Well, that wasn't very tactful was it?"

"I wouldn't say it was. Listen I love you, but I kind of ran out when she told me that. I guess I better get back down there."

"Get back to her Edward. Try to have faith. I just know you two will be together. Love you."

"Love you too." I hung up the phone and left Emmett's room, closing his door and heading to Bella's room.

I peeked in her room and saw her reading pride and Prejudice again. She never ceased to be beautiful without even trying. My mother's words kept echoing in my head as I walked closer to her.

**BPOV**

"Hey sorry about that" a familiar voice whispered in my ear. I looked up and Edward had snuck in behind me and knelt beside the beanbags. "My phone was on vibrate and my mom called. I think she was lonely. My dad has been on call a lot recently at the hospital. I did not mean to run out on you."

"Oh Edward, I am sure she misses you. It must he hard to have you here and have your dad working all the time." I said putting my book down and looking into Edward's emerald eyes.

"Yeah. I feel pretty bad about not being around more often."

"She wouldn't want you to feel guilty for that. I'm sure she is glad that you are so focused on school. Most parents have the opposite to worry about. When do you see her next?" I said as I grabbed his hand.

"Within a couple of weeks I hope. How are you feeling after your interesting goodbye?" He changed the subject.

I looked away from him when I answered. "Hopeful."

"Of what darling?" Edward inquired with his right eyebrow raised.

"That someday I will actually accept love like Jake was willing to give." Edward leaned towards me and kissed my forehead.

"You will. Trust me." He whispered in my ear.

"You are always so sure that it will happen for me even when I'm not, but this time I can say that I believe you. I don't really think I can go into this more tonight. I think I'm going to bed. Please stay though."

"Ok. I have some Anthropology reading to do anyway. I'll work on it here."

"Good. I like when you're here. I fall asleep easier." Did I really just admit that? I was getting bolder.

I crawled into my bed and lay there with innumerable thoughts running through my mind, as was par for the course with me recently. James called my cell, but I did not answer. My friends said nothing thinking that I had already fallen asleep. Which, I did fall asleep shortly after. I did not dream of James that night. I was grateful for that, but I kept dreaming of the kiss between me and Jake. It was a great kiss, but it was not right; in real life and in my dreams. I was not meant to be with Jacob. Any chance we had to be a couple had gone away when we became such good friends. We were definitely in the friend zone, and I did not see that changing.

I woke up the next day to find that the guys had left and that I had an hour until my first class began. I rushed out of bed and began getting ready. I grabbed a granola bar and headed to my Latin American History class. I got to my class in time to take my quiz. After my first history class, I went to European History with no particular excitement only to find out that my class had been cancelled. Happily, I began to walk back to Preston. I decided now would be a good time to call back James.

"Hey Bells. You did not answer last night. I was worried." His tone actually matched his words for the first time in a long time.

"I was sleeping. Did you have a good weekend?' I asked looking at the leaves slowly falling off the tress as I walked through Gibbs Greene.

"Yep. We had a great time. How was your weekend?"

"It was good. Nothing to out of the ordinary just hung around Preston with the group." I tried to keep my voice normal in an attempt to shield the kiss from being discovered.

"How was Jake?" I was not thrilled, with the way, he said Jake's name, but I did not really want to start a fight.

"He is good. He spent a lot of time studying while he was here, but it was nice to see him."

"Well, that's good. Hey, I have to head to class now, but I'm glad everything went well. I'll see you this weekend though right?" Ugh, I really did not want to miss Halloween in order to go home.

"Yep I'll leave on Thursday after my last class."

"I'll talk to you before then obviously, but it will be good to see you. I'll talk to you later hun. Love you." He was in a good mood today. It was a pleasant change. As I was walking, I saw Edward walking towards Preston. I snuck up behind him and then pounced on his back.

"Woo." Edward swirled around to find me standing there right behind him. A smile came onto his face as he picked me up and swirled me around.

"Hey Darling. Was your class cancelled?" Edward asked while putting me down but not letting go of my hand.

"Yep, which is nice, because I was not in the frame of mind to take European history today?" I said almost skipping with joy.

"Well, you seem to be in a good mood now. Want to walk back with me?" He said as he began walking back towards Preston.

"Of course, but do you mind stopping so I can grab some lunch?"

"No, I would not mind at all. Let's get you some lunch girl." We changed course to take us to the GMP. I ran my hand against the rod iron fence to my right as we walked toward Greene Street.

"I also need to see Dr. Aro today before he leaves. I want him to look at my paper. Jke being here distracted me so I did not get him to check it Friday"

"I don't think he came in today, but I'll look over it again if you would like."

"No thanks. I'm sure it is fine. You've already checked it once and it has not changed since then."

"We start reading another novel for her soon right?" he asked as we stepped over the giant gamecock painted onto the pavement in front of the student bookstore.

"Yeah, but I am not sure which one. I'm mixing up all of our English classes."

"Me too. We'll check later." He winked at me as we continued to walk.

We went and got some lunch at the Russell House before heading back to Preston. Edward only had about an hour until his next class. I sat and wrote flash cards for my Latin American History class after lunch while talking to the others. The day went by in a blur and before I knew it, dinner was over and Edward and I were sitting down in my room talking about our English class assignments. We both grabbed a beanbag and sat beside each other.

"Ok, so we have four short stories and one novel for the next week and a half. So the short stories we can read together and the novel is _The House of Mirth_, which we can read on our own."

I looked at our syllabi for the three classes we shared. Luckily, there were no papers due until a couple of weeks after Halloween so I could spend time when I was not reading, studying for my History test the Monday and Wednesday after Halloween.

"Sounds good. What do we have to read for tomorrow?" I asked.

"Two ten page short stories. You seem tired are you OK?"

I yawned. "I slept all night but for some reason I fell like a ran a marathon in my sleep. Did you notice any problems while you stayed in there?"

"You seemed to have a nightmare early on. You called my name and I stood on a chair by your bed, but you were still asleep. I stayed until you calmed down at about midnight. Jasper and Alicel were staying up late talking so I stayed as long as he did. I can read the stories out loud if you would like."

"That would be great. I'll keep up and make sure I underline and highlight." Edward and I had all three of our English classes on Tuesday and Thursday. The first class began at 9:30, directly afterward was our second class, which was in the same building. Then, we had a break for lunch beginning a little after noon. After lunch we had, our last class from 2:00 to 3:15 was our final class of the day. It was a lot of English in one day and also a lot of reading the night before. Edward and I tried to read ahead as much as we could. He began to read our assignments for the following day as I kept a sharp eye on the story and highlighted any passages that seemed important for symbolism or other literary intricacies.

We were halfway through the second story when my phone rang. "Hello." I answered without looking at the caller ID for once.

"So I'm judging by the fact that I am still alive and you are answering the phone that you did not tell James about our little goodbye."

"Hey Jacob. No I didn't and would you really call it little?" I said putting the story and highlighter on the ground beside me.

"Well, if you aren't then that's a good sign. How did your friends take the news?" I got up as he was talking and began pacing. I had to pace when I was on the phone. I could never just sit still.

"Did you get home safely?" I really did not want to go into the subject of the kiss with Edward around. I knew he was not jealous, but it just felt awkward.

"Ah that well huh? Yes, I did get back to school safe and sound. I probably should have called you last night, but I figured that you would be tired and I got back to campus later than planned."

"I was and am, but I actually can't really talk right now, I'm studying with Edward."

"Ok Bella. I'll talk to you soon and maybe send out an email or something."

"Sounds good. Miss you! Bye Jake."

"Miss you too dear. Bye."

I turned back to Edward and realized that I had subconsciously turned away from him and walked to the furthest part of the room while talking to Jake. I wasn't quite sure why that was, but I went and sat back beside him. "Sorry, Jake was just calling to check in and to let me know he got back."

"That's cool. I'm glad he got back safely. Shall we continue?" We continued with the work until both stories were read. We then discussed both stories and any deeper meanings behind them as well as anything the lay beneath the surface. I craved these conversations. It was nice to be able to discuss literature with someone outside of a classroom setting.

"Well, that's done. I did not even think to ask where our roommates are this evening." I said lying down on two beanbags and staring at Edward who had moved to my desk to do something on my computer.

"They went to our room to work on homework. I guess they just wanted to have some time alone." Edward continued to stare at the computer.

"I don't blame them. It's just 8 o'clock. You want to watch a movie with me? I've already read the House of Mirth before." I asked him sitting up on the beanbag. I was exhausted, but it was too early for me to go to sleep.

"I'd love to. I really think that Jasper wanted me to steer clear of the room tonight." Edward stood up while still crouching to avoid hitting his head on my loft.

"Oh, ok. Well, then what do you want to watch?" I asked staring at the movies I had on my bookshelves.

"I'm not picky. Well, we could watch Phantom since we did not really watch it together the other night." He said as he walked towards the bookshelves that stood between Alice's closet and mine.

"Sounds good."

He set up the movie and I went into my bathroom to change, then came out, and turned off the lights. I went and sat on the beanbag beside Edward. The movie began and unlike before, I sang with the music. About halfway through the movie, as the song "All I Ask of You" played , I looked and noticed that Edward and I had slowly drifted towards each other and were almost cuddling at this point. His arm slowly drifted toward me and relaxed around my shoulders. I felt my head drifting towards his shoulder. I looked at him and his eyes meet mine. Neither of us were looking at the screen, but focusing on the other instead. His face leaned in towards mine. As I began leaning into him, the door opened and my roommate and Jasper entered the room. My face jerked back toward the screen and Edward's arm pulled away from me. Had I imagined it, or was he about to kiss me?

Edward sat with his hands in his lap as the couple entered the room.

"Are you watching the Phantom?" Jasper asked sitting on the beanbag closest to Alice's desk.

"Yep," I said fidgeting with my class ring on my right hand.

Alice sat at her desk and worked on a paper while Jasper watched the rest of the movie with us in silence. After the movie, Edward kissed me on the check and quietly left the room.

When the boys left, Alice and I got ready for bed and set our alarms for the next morning.

"So did Jasper and I interrupt something?" She said while climbing into her loft.

"I'm not sure what you are talking about." I tried to dodge the question, as I turned away from her to turn off the lights.

"Oh cut the crap Bella. You and Edward were a step away from kissing had Jasper and I not come in when we did. I'm sorry for that by the way." She fluffed her pillows up before lying down facing me. Thought the main lights were on, there was sitting some light coming from the crack under the doorway. The hall lights were always on.

I sighed. "You have no reason to be sorry because you did not interrupt anything. We were just talking." I retorted climbing up in my own bed. Was I trying to make her believe these words or me?

"Alright. I'm just telling you what it looked like, but Edward does have a habit of whispering really close to you so I won't second-guess you."

Alice's ready agreement made me believe what I had been trying to convince her. There was no way that Edward was trying to kiss me.

**EPOV**

I was so close to kissing her and then Jasper and Alice just had to choose that moment to come barreling back into the room. It was probably for the best as she was still with James. I collapsed on my bed and tried to figure out what had just happened when my roommate broke my concentration.

"What the hell was that Edward?" he asked closing the door quickly after entering the room.

"What was what Jasper?" I said shooting him the glare I'd been holding in since he pranced his ass in the room.

"You know what Edward. Where you about to kiss her?"

"Possibly." I was acting like an obstinate child. I knew that, but I was tired and frustrated.

"Edward if you want to be with her, which we all know you do, then tell her and quit this shit. Don't put her in a position where she feels like she is cheating on James. That is not the way to start this shit." He said as he stripped to his boxers and got into his bed.

"I got it Jazz. Thanks for the advice as always." I said turning out my lamp.

"What's eating you?" He asked.

"She chooses to stay with him Jazz. What if she really does love him? What if she never leaves him? How long can I stand back and not kick the guys ass who is hurting her?" I said sighing.

"You stand by until she decides not to deal with it anymore. She doesn't love James and we both know it. But you cannot end this. She has to be the one to do it. Until such time, you need to support her and not make out with her." He said with a comforting and gentle tone replacing his frustrated tone from earlier.

"You're right. I just hope he doesn't hurt her seriously in the meantime. I would never forgive myself."

"I know."

**BPOV**

The rest of the week passed quickly. My Ethan Frome paper was turned in and now in the hands of the professor. I was also caught up on the rest of my work. So that Thursday after class, I walked out towards my car with Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Edward. I was not looking forward to leaving and missing Halloween with my friends. I hugged Edward and went to get into my red Honda Civic SI with gray interior.

When I got the full scholarship to USC, my parents rewarded me by giving me a car. Most of my friends were surprised by my choice. They expected something a little more practical like an Accord or maybe another truck to replace my old one. The civic was small, but I loved my car. At the beginning and end of the school year, I had to have help lugging all of my stuff to school. I guess the years of dating guys obsessed with fast cars had rubbed off on me.

"Screw James. Stay here." She grabbed me by the wrist until I turned around. Alice had been depressed when she learned that I was not staying for the Halloween festivities.

"I have to go Alice. Have a great party. Call me if you want to talk." I got into the car and tried to hold back the tears as I pulled away. I focused on the fall colors as I drove through downtown towards the interstate. Emmett had been virtually silent, as I was getting ready to go. It was disheartening to think that the staunchest critic of my relationship with James appeared to be giving up the fight. I was hoping that he had not felt that the cause was hopeless. I knew that my relationship had turned sour. If my life were a novel, I would be the reader screaming at me to get a clue and end it, but as I have said before, something was preventing me from leaving James and moving forward.

I spent the drive contemplating the recent discoveries that I had made about my life. First, the fact that I was no longer in love with James. That fact was hard to swallow. For so long, I had held onto the image of him as my liberator. The image of him that I now held was that of my captor. Second, I was in love with Edward. Jake had been right. Though at first I still had some doubts, I now knew he was right. It was a natural feeling, but one that I had been suppressing for who knows how many months. Who could not love him? He was kind, smart, funny, and the best friend I had ever had with the exception of Jake. I tried to picture Edward and me together as a couple. It was a happy image for me to picture, but something that I did not feel that I deserved.

About halfway home, my phone rang. I saw James's name on the caller ID, and had no desire to answer. I answered anyway.

"Hello." I knew my voice sounded wary, and I was hoping he would not read much into it since I may be dealing with a lot of traffic as far as he knew.

"Hey Bells. Are you on your way?" He actually sounded cheerful to talk to me. A part of me wished that I felt the same way.

"Yep. I am about halfway home right now." I tried to make my voice match his.

"Very good. I guess we can hang out here tonight. Not much is going on. I was just going to watch some TV and pack. I have to go out of town tomorrow though so tonight will be the only time I get to see you. Sorry about that." I almost dropped the phone, but I tried to focus on the roadway.

"You're what?" All congeniality in my voice had dissipated. Luckily, James was as oblivious as always.

"Oh yeah. I hadn't had a chance to tell you. I have to go out of town tomorrow. I have a field trip with my Science class to the beach. I'll be gone until Sunday." I glanced at the speedometer and saw I was going 90 mph and I began to slow down. I tried to contain my temper.

"You practically threatened an end to our relationship if I did not come up here and then you tell me you won't be here. Am I reading this situation right?" The gauge went down to 80 slowly.

"It is not like it was planned. I forgot about my trip. It won't kill you to be at home either. You do like your parents, remember?" The speedometer needle edged back toward 90. I decided I needed to end the conversation before I was arrested for reckless driving.

"I'll see you later. I need to call my parents and let them know where I am. Love you." The last two words I said more out of habit than actual feeling. I hung up before giving him a chance to say anything else and called my mom.

"Hello." It was nice to hear my mother's voice. It soothed my current bad mood and frustration.

"Hey Mom. It's Bella." I tried to keep all frustration out of my voice.

"Hey Girl. You on your way?" She sounded a little distracted.

"Yes ma'am. I'm about halfway to Charlotte. I just wanted to ask you a question." My speed was staying constant now. I guess I had never realized how I had a lead foot when I was displeased. I guess it was a way of venting my emotions, since I did not vent them towards the person who caused those emotions.

"It turns out that James will not be at home most of the weekend and my friends are throwing a huge Halloween party down at school. Do you mind if I leave tomorrow after dinner so that I can go to the party?"

"Bella I don't like you driving too late at night." I did not want to make my mother worry. She was always so patient about my visits home becoming less and less frequent.

"Oh okay. I'll just stay home."

"No Bella, what I meant was, why don't you leave tomorrow afternoon? Your father has the day off because we were going to the UNC football game on Saturday and he decided to take a day off to help get ready for the tailgate. We'll spend time with you during the morning and then you can make it back to school before the party."

"Mom, you are the best. That would be awesome."

"Well, we won't be here Saturday and Sunday anyway, and I would hate to leave you alone. Be safe and I'll see you soon." As we hung up, my mood lifted. I would get to spend time with my friends on my favorite holiday after all. I could barely contain my excitement. I picked up my cell phone again and dialed Edward's number.

"Hey Darling. You aren't home already are you?" Given my speed through some of my trip. I was closer than he would have liked to know.

"No sir. I just have some good news." I was imagining his face as I said this. His face was always so patient and calm. He showed little emotion with his face. Unlike most people, Edward's eyes betrayed his emotions. Until recently, I was always able to gauge his mood through his eyes.

"I like good news. What's up?"

"I'll be there tomorrow for the Halloween tea and for the party." I imagined his lips curving upwards at these words, but his eyes would become wide with joy.

"You broke up with him?" My heart sank at these words, but I focused on the fact that I was getting to spend the weekend with Edward instead of my warden.

"No, he just told me he was leaving for the weekend for some school thing, and I'll be damned if I'm going to miss the party by staying home and giving out candy."

"That's great Bella, but you know what this means?"

"What," I asked with some trepidation by ominous tone to his voice.

"You'll need a costume." Edward was right. I groaned. I had no idea what I was going to do. I had to get a costume tomorrow before going back to campus.

"I'll work on it and I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

"Bye darling." The line disconnected and I put on music to get me through the rest of the way. I tried hard not to focus on how good it felt when Edward called me darling or by some other term of endearment. Also, I worked on forgetting how good it felt to be in his arms, and how lonely I felt when I wasn't.

The ride was beautiful. There were still golden leaves on the trees along with hues of red and orange. I sang along with the music on the radio and only kept it on positive songs. All songs involving anything depressing were immediately passed over. Nothing was going to ruin my good mood.

I went straight to James's house instead of going to my house. I called mom again to let her know the plan and, as I expected, she was fine with it. When I got there, he was outside waiting on the steps talking on his cell phone. I parked my car on the side of the street and walked up to him slowly. He hung up and gave me a hug. His embrace was no longer natural. Instead, it was cold and calculated. He made a motion to kiss me, but I avoided the gesture and walked towards the house.

James had not gone far from home for school, but he still wanted to live on his own and have the same freedom that all college freshman felt. He and a friend of ours from high school rented a nice house near campus that looked like it was built in the fifties or so. The house was older, but had been redone recently. It still had large trees out front that had begun to lose its leaves dues to the season.

"How was the drive?" he asked as he read a text message he had just received.

"It was fine. Very little traffic, which is always nice. I probably drove a little faster than I should have. How was school today?" Our discussions, which did not end in a fight, now were all consisting of the superficial things in life. Deeper conversations between us had fallen by the wayside over a year ago.

"It was good. I had my English class today. I swear I just can't understand this stuff. I don't know how you can get so involved in it. Why can't people just say what they mean instead of using all the symbolism and crap?"

"What are you reading?" I knew his motivation in bringing this particular class up. He never had been great with his English classes. He was too literal of a person to see works as more than just the words on the page.

"We are in the middle of The Scarlet Letter. This guy has sentences that are longer then my paragraphs." I had to give him that. I even had a hard time getting through that one. We entered the house, which had clutter everywhere.

"Hawthorne was not known for brevity in his stories. However, the story is what you really need to focus on. After you understand what's going on in the story, you will understand the symbolism within the work." I plopped down on the sofa as James turned on the TV and his x-box.

"Well, what are some of the symbols in the work?" I was right about his intentions in bringing this up.

"James, it is not my job to do your homework for you. If you are going to cheat, please do so without me." He scowled at me and I switched my focus to the TV although I was not focusing on the screen. My mind was somewhere else. I would love to say that the conversation grew brighter and of more substance from there, however, that would not be the truth. About an hour later, James started kissing my neck.

"James, cut it out please. I'm not in the mood." I said pushing him away.

"You're never in the mood Isabella. At least not with me, but I bet you're always in the mood with Jake or Eddie." He grabbed my arms pinning me to the cough as he straddled me. I tried to get loose but he was too strong.

"You're wrong James." I said giving up trying to move.

"Oh really? Well let's see if we can get you in the mood. His lips met mine and he shoved his tongue in my mouth. A feeling of dread washed over me and I felt like I was going to be sick. I felt his hand leave one of my arms and travel up my leg getting closer to my crotch. I started to struggle and he continued to pin me down.

"JAMES! GET THE FUCK OFF OF HER!" I heard the voice of James's roommate, Laurent. James let go of my arms and sat up and laughed.

"Hey buddy! I did not see you there. How was your day?' James said not making any motion to move.

"It was great. Now get off of Bella. Its time for dinner and I don't need you two making me lose my appetite. James moved to the side and let me up off of the couch.

"Hey Bella! It is good to see you. Are you hungry? I bet you have not fed her have you James?" Laurent said waving for me to follow him in the kitchen. I followed and James made no motion to follow us. As soon as we were in the kitchen, Laurent turned to me.

"Are you okay Bella?" He said with his eyes full of worry.

"I'm not sure. I'm so glad you got here when you did. I think he would have…" I couldn't finish because that would make it too real.

"Bella do me a favor. Next time you are planning on coming call me so I can be here. I hate seeing you like this. Are you good to eat?' He said keeping his distance but still had a worried tone to his voice.

"No. I think I need to leave. Thanks Laurent. If I come back, I'll call you first." I walked out to the living room with Laurent following me. "Alright guys. I have to head out. My parents are expecting me." I said standing up and wishing I could just run out of there.

"So soon. I was hoping we could have some time alone." James replied. I shuttered at the though of spending time alone with him.

"Dude man. She has to go. I mean you had all afternoon." Laurent said as he came back into the living room with a beer.

"Sorry James. I have to run. I haven't seen my parents in awhile." I walked to the door.

"Well, fuck you too. Go run to your parents. See if I miss you." I just shook my head in response.

"Bye Laurent. Bye James." I left the room before he tried to get a kiss and ran towards my car. That night I decided never to spend time with him alone again.

I called Jake on the way home, but there was no answer. I left a message and asked him to call back as soon as he got it. I continued the rest of the way home in silence. I had a weird feeling of déjà vu. James was becoming more violent and dangerous, and I was getting a little scared. I knew this feeling well, but tried to remember that in less than twenty-four hours, I would be safe at Preston. I pulled up to my parents two story brick house in a neighborhood filled with houses that had only subtle differences from the others. I found my key and walked up the walk to the front door.

"Hey Mom and Dad. I'm home." I called when I got into the house. My little Jack Russell, Scout, came running from the top of the stairs to greet me. He jumped into my arms and I just sat on the floor to begin playing with him. Mom came to the top of the stairs and beckoned me up to the family room. I drudged up the stairs resisting the urge to drive back to Columbia to be with Edward.

"Hey Girl. Welcome home. How was the drive?" Dad was sitting on the couch with the laptop in his lap and the TV on to whatever game he could find.

"It was good dad. How are you guys doing?" I dropped my stuff just inside my bedroom door and entered into the family room that was right at the top of the stairs. Scout followed me the entire way, stopping only for a second to sniff the new smells for my overnight bag.

"We are doing well. Just getting excited about the football game on Saturday and meeting some of my college friends there for the tailgate." As mom reminded dad of some chore that they needed to do for their tailgate preparations, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I flipped open my phone and saw that I had a text from Alice. It simply said, _don't worry about the costume. I have it taken care of._ These words made me nervous.

I spent the rest of the night talking to my parents and cuddling with my puppy. I went to sleep that night anxious for the next day and getting back to Preston. Though I loved my home and my family, I found that I was often uneasy at home. All the memories that I was trying so hard to forget haunted me while there, and I found that they never allowed me to relax.

****I hope you guys aren't too angry with the update. Edward finds out next. I wonder what his reaction will be?


	6. Halloween and Jake

**Stephanie Meyer owns all things twilight!**

**BPOV**

I woke the next morning to Scout licking my face. Though I was rarely home anymore, he always seemed to remember when I was home. I had not slept very well. I kept reliving the incident with James from the previous night. If Laurent would not have shown up when he did, I knew what would have happened. That though caused a shiver through my whole body. I shook off the negative thoughts with my mind focused on one thing. Edward.

I got up and grabbed a quick shower before spending the rest of the morning helping my parents cook and clean up the house. I tried to hide from them that I was looking at the clock prepared to head back to school. When three o'clock came, I was packed and ready to go. They were leaving about an hour after I was and spending the night at my grandmother's where they would leave Scout for the weekend, so I did not feel too bad about leaving. I said my goodbyes and hooked up my ipod in my car.

I was on the road before I knew it and called James to let him know I was leaving. He did not pick up so I left a message and then dialed Edward's number.

"Good afternoon babe. How was home?" His voice alone soothed me after the previous night's unease.

"Home was good, but I'm glad to be on my way back. What is this costume that Alice has for me?" I asked as I began to merge onto I-485 headed back towards Columbia.

"You'll have to ask her. I am not getting in the middle of this one."

"That bad huh?" I began biting my lip. I had a few ideas to what my roommate would subject me. I knew that I would go along with almost anything she had picked out. She had gone through some trouble, and I couldn't disappoint her.

"In whose opinion?" I groaned in response before Edward continued. "Bella you'll look great. How far out are you?" I could tell he was not going to betray Alice's surprise, so I gave in on the questioning.

"About an hour or so. I thought I'd park in front and then drive the car down to the student parking lot as we were heading to the party."

"Well, you might actually want to drive it to the party. I'm going to be getting there before you." I guess it made sense, but I thought I would be there to help them set up.

"Oh ok. No worries." I said taking a sip from my soda and trying to focus on keeping the speed under control.

"Call me when you are close. I'll come out and help you unload your stuff."

"Ok I'll see you soon."

"Can't wait." Edward hung up and I began listening to my music for the rest of the trip. I was lost in thought. James was escalating from plain verbal abuse to physical abuse. The bruises on my arms from his grip last night showed that. I could not let them see that. I did not want to think about the drama that would cause.

About halfway home, my phone rang. I answered without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello."

"Bella? Are you ok? I just got your message and you sounded freaked." Jake spoke so quickly that I knew he was worried

"I'm fine Jake, though I am sporting nice bruises on my arms." I tried to laugh it off, but the laugh sounded hollow even to my ears.

"What did he do?" Jake sounded as though all it would take was one wrong word and James would not be a problem anymore.

"He got pissed and grabbed my arms pretty hard. He pinned me down on the couch. Laurent was furious and put a stop to it." I heard Jake's sigh of relief.

"He's a good man. Are you going to be ok? You really need to tell your father."

"I'll be fine. I am not telling him about this Jake. He is the Belmont Police chief. He will turn this into something that I just can't handle. I am heading back to Columbia now." I could hear the change in my tone so I knew Jake would notice it as well.

"I'm glad you are on your way back, but you really need to tell Charlie and Renee. Are you at least going to tell your friends?"

"I don't know Jess. I mean we've been through this before. Do you think they will understand?"

"Maybe not Bella, but remember what I told you. You have to give them a chance to be there for you. I have to run baby. Remember I always love you."

"I love you too Jake." And with those five simple words, the line was disconnected.

In spite of everything, I was just so relieved to be heading back home to Preston. I was now about ten minutes out when I called Edward. He said he'd be out there by the time I got there. As I pulled onto Greene Street, I saw Preston flying the Jolly Roger along with the South Carolina Flag and the US flag in honor of Halloween. I had to smile. Preston was one of the few places that would fly such a flag. Edward and Emmett were outside waiting for me on the front porch. I was lucky enough to find a metered spot right in front of the building. I got out of my car and ran towards Edward who picked me up and spun me around.

"You have no idea how much I missed you," he said into my ear as he put me back down. He had said what I had been thinking in that moment. I smiled, and turned toward Emmett, giving him a hug. They came down off the porch to help me with the few bags I did have. I threw money in the meter and walked up the stairs and into the busy lobby. Everyone was on Zelda hanging about before the tea began at five. I walked in and waved as everyone called out his or her hellos.

"Why aren't you guys getting dressed when you only have an hour to be in costumes?" There was a string of profanities as everyone jumped up to go get ready. There was no clock in the lobby, so it was usual for everyone to lose track of time in the lively conversation. Edward, Jasper, Rose, Emmett, and I began the walk to my room so that I could drop of my stuff and get ready for the party.

"BELLA! I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE BACK!" Alice screamed when I walked in the room. She was not in her costume yet either. Her costume was not one that would require too long to get ready.

"I am. Where's the costume?" I could tell she was hoping that I would not ask so soon.

"Well, you can't really wear it until the party. I doubt you'll want to wear it to the tea." That's when I knew what it was. I was going to be Christine from The Phantom of the Opera, after she went through the mirror. I could feel my cheeks turning scarlet whether from anger or embarrassment, I was not quite positive, but I was leaning towards embarrassment.

"Fair enough." I said, trying to disguise the trepidation in my voice.

"Don't worry Bella. I won't be dressing up until later either," Edward said.

"How was home?" Emmett asked as he set my book bag down beside my desk.

"Home was good. I spent some time with the family and saw an old friend from high school when visiting James."

"That's cool. I'm glad you came back. We were all pretty bummed at the thought of you missing Halloween."

"Thanks Em. As soon as I learned that no one was going to be there the whole weekend, I had to come back. To be honest, I really did not want to go in the first place. I spent the entire time I was there wishing I was back here."

"Well, we're glad you're back." Emmett repeated as he took his hand and patted my arm. I flinched and he knew something was up. He gently grabbed my wrist and pulled my sleeve up exposing the bruise on my arm. I heard several gasps and I looked toward Edward immediately to see what his reaction would be. He remained silent but his entire body had stiffened up including the all too familiar clenching of his jaw.

"Bella, did that asshole do this?" Emmett's face was turning red. He let go of my arm. I refused to lie to them. I was no longer interested in covering for James

"James pinned me down on the couch. I have bruises on both of my arms. I thought his roommate, Laurent, was going to rip him apart." I said looking at Edward the whole time. "It can't really talk about it. It was bad." Edward came closer to me and grabbed my face in his hands.

"Are you okay?" That was all he could get out.

"I'm fine now. I'm sorry. I won't let it happen again." I bit my lip to keep from crying.

"Don't apologize," he moved his hands away from my face and wrapped them around me. "It's not like you did it. He should be the one apologizing."

I was glad it was out in the open. I did not want to hide anything from them especially Edward. I could handle Emmett's upcoming comments. I knew that they were out of concern and directed towards him and not meant to hurt me.

"If I only knew where he lived, he would be dead right now. I know you won't tell me, but we can't let it happen again. I really don't want to have get arrested, though it would be worth it." Rose went over to Emmett and tried to distract him to calm him down.

I stayed in Edward's arms. It was what I had needed the whole time I was in Charlotte. I needed him, and for once I was scared to admit it.

"You have no idea how much I wanted you last night Edward." He pulled back with a startled look on his face before moving back to me and kissing my check.

"I wish I could have been there love. It would have never gotten that far." He said pulling me into a tight hug. I stayed there for what felt like only a second, but what was really probably several minutes.

"Bella. We have to get ready. Can you come help us?" Alice said hesitantly.

"Go on love. I'm going to head upstairs with the guys. I'll see you in just a little bit. Call me if you need me." I nodded and let go of Edward. He kissed my check and exited the room.

There was a flurry of getting Alice and Rosalie ready. I was going to be getting ready after the tea before we headed over to the party. Rosalie decided to go as Jessica Rabbit. She had a red wig and a dress that was going to cause Emmett to be ready to punch any guy who made a comment. Alice decided to be Tinkerbelle, which was perfect since most of us called her a pixie behind her back. After getting them ready, we walked to the lodge where the tea would be held. There was a sea of Prestonites already there as well as some of the professors. We went in and got food and then admired everyone's costumes. Dr Aro, my mentor, was dressed as Dumbledore. He was as big a fan of Harry Potter as I was and I enjoyed having conversations about the story. Edward joined in these discussions too. Dr Aro was an English professor with the University for years and was now semi-retired but still active with Preston and still teaching one class per semester. We spent the rest of the tea talking to fellow residents and reveling in everyone's costumes. About half of the people at this tea would also be attending the party at Emmett's later that evening.

"Hey Bella," Edward said towards the end of the tea. "Emmett, Jasper and I are heading out now. We'll see you about 7?"

"I will see you at 7." I said smiling and feeling so happy to be home. Alice, Rose and I went back to the room a few minutes later.

"Let's see it." Alice did not have to ask to what I was referring. She simply went to her closet and pulled out a scanty white lacey corset and underwear set. It looked scarily close to the one from the movie. Luckily, there was a robe to match.

"Alice, really? How can I wear that out?"

"You got the body, flaunt it. You know everyone at this party. You will be completely safe. By the way, this is yours for good. Consider it an early Christmas present." I was wondering when this could possibly be of use to me in the future, before realizing that I may someday find a guy with whom I may want to have sex.

"I can't believe I'm going to do this." I could feel the heat on my cheeks.

"It's Halloween. Almost anything goes on Halloween, especially in this group." Rosalie responded as I took the outfit out of Alice's hands.

I got dressed and they began taking turn playing Bella Barbie. They worked on getting my hair crimped and adding volume so I could look as close as possible to the movie. At length, we walked out to my car. We all had bags as we were invited to spend the night. I had put a long coat on over my outfit, but that had not fully hidden the effects. By the time I made it to my car, I had already gotten two whistles from guys around the area. It was a little disturbing, but good for the ego as well.

We arrived at Emmett's house right on time. Of course, we were the first people there. Emmett opened the door and hugged Rosalie before looking at me. It looked like his jaw was going to drop all the way to the floor.

"Wow, Bella you look great." He said opening the door the rest of the way so that we could enter the house.

"Thanks." I instinctively pulled the jacket I was wearing tightly around my body. I would need a drink before I would feel the least bit comfortable in the outfit.

We walked into the foyer when Emmett yelled, "Hey Edward! Come here."

Edward walked into the room in full costume. He, of course, was the phantom. There is no telling how much he spent on the costume. But it was more comforting to be in my outfit, if at least people would put a connection to it, and not just think I wanted to wear skimpy clothing.

"Hello Isabella. I thought if Alice was going to force you to be Christine then I would as least join in a theme." The half smile he was famous for entered his face. .

"Thanks Edward. I feel a little bit less self-conscious." I continued gripping my coat.

"So are you going to release the death grip on your coat and show him the costume?" Jasper asked. He was enjoying the costume a little too much. Alice did not seem concerned. She was enjoying it just as much as Jasper. I took my coat off looking at the hardwood floors the whole time. I felt exposed and uncomfortable. Most of the time my wardrobe tried to hide my body. There was no hiding in this outfit.

Edward lifted my chin up so I was looking at him instead of the floors. "You look great babe. Don't be so freaked." He kissed my forehead.

I smiled. "You feel obligated to say that, you are obsessed with me after all."

Edward froze and his eyes flashed towards Emmett. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you are the Phantom. You are somewhat obsessed. You have to admit." I said biting my lip again.

"Yes, well how can it be helped when you wear that." Edward said chuckling to himself. He and Emmett and Jasper walked briskly into the kitchen. Alice and I went upstairs to put my stuff in the room where we would be sleeping. Rosalie went to drop her stuff off in Emmett's room.

"Bella did you just see that? I think Edward has a thing for you." She said putting her things on one of the twin beds in the room.

"Well, normally I would disagree, but you may not be too off base. He seemed to be worried when I made that comment. Did you see how he looked to Emmett?" I was hoping that Alice was right. The other incidents could all be explained away, but this had some meaning to it.

"Yeah. There has to be something there." Alice smiled congratulating herself on the attraction she had noticed weeks prior.

"Well, I hope you are right, but I can't get my hopes up too much right now. Let me worry about one thing at a time. I still have to figure out a way for me to free myself from James. I know I should just call him. But I just can't." I said putting my coat and my phone on top of my bag.

"Yeah. We'll ponder on that one." We went downstairs and helped the boys finish setting out food when people began showing up. Edward barely looked in my direction until other people began to show up.

"Damn Bella. You look hot. Christine from the Phantom?" Leah looked me over smiling and adding a wink at the end.

"Yeah, Leah. It was Alice's doing." I said avoiding turning my gaze towards the floor.

"And partially mine. What good is it being the Phantom if I don't have a scantly clad Christine at my side." Edward said suddenly appearing at my side.

"Well, Edward you made a good choice because she is fine," Embry said as he grabbed my hand and kissed it like they so often do in the old movies I always get sucked into on the classic movie network.

Edward's jaw clenched before he responded, "Well, Embry I am flattered you admire my taste so highly. There are snacks in the kitchen and drinks in there as well." Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me over to sit down on the love seat. The great thing about the costume was that it seemed to be having the opposite effect than I was expecting. I had been expecting humiliation, but instead was surprised by a great deal of compliments. It was really boosting my fragile ego.

"I really don't like that guy." Edward surprised me by that confession.

"It's not like you to have problems with anyone Edward. What's going on? You've never mentioned any problems with Embry before." I had noticed tension between them from almost the very beginning. It was hard for me because I liked both of them.

"I just get a bad vibe from him. He has always gotten under my skin. I'm going to get a drink. I think it might help me loosen up tonight. Want anything?" I was one of the few people in the group who did not drink often, but one drink wouldn't hurt.

"I'll take a rum and coke." I said looking up at him.

"You're drinking heavy tonight?" His eyebrow rose.

"Well, I don't have to drive Edward."

"A rum and coke it is." While Edward was in the kitchen, I looked around the room and noticed that there were two groups of people. There was the group who would be completely wasted by the end of the night, and the group who would be the designated drivers. The good thing about knowing you are staying the night at the party is that you don't have to worry about having a designated driver.

"Your order ma'am," Edward said as he handed me my drink. It looked like his drink of choice for the evening was a jack on the rocks. It was hard stuff for him. Normally, Edward drank nothing harder than beer. Tonight was a night of breaking norms. "Are you having a good time?" Edward asked as he took a sip of his drink.

"Yes, I am. I'm so glad I was able to come back. I hated being away from you. I don't want you to take it the wrong way. I love spending time with my family, but I hate being away from my friends." I took a sip of my drink, to my surprise and there was more rum than coke. My guess was this was a concoction devised by Emmett. He had been dying to see me drunk for months.

"I missed you too. It would have felt weird to be here without you." The burning in Edward's eyes was present as it always was. I took another sip of my drink.

"Listen Bella. You know I would never tell you to break up with James, right?"

I nodded and he continued speaking while I continued nursing my drink. "I wouldn't. I think that is a choice, which you need to make on your own. Just remember that it would not be hard for you to find someone else when you were ready. I guess what I'm trying to say is that…"

"Hey Bella, we need your opinion on something," Emmett called from across the room. I jerked my head towards Emmett instantaneously.

"Ok hold on just a second. What were you saying Edward?" I said hurriedly.

"It's nothing, babe. Let's go see what Emmett wants." He gulped down the rest of his Jack. He was hiding something, and I had idea what he wanted to tell me. Ordinarily I would be thrilled, but I still had to figure out how to get rid of James. James was a sensitive issue. I had to find the perfect time as my fear was that the reaction would be something possibly dangerous given his recent behavior.

I did not get much time to talk to Edward about anything of substance, the rest of the party. Emmett made me a couple of more rum and cokes, which with my limited tolerance made me drunk quickly. Edward stopped drinking after the Jack. Though he did not leave my side, we were always surrounded with friends. At about two in the morning people began to trickle out, and an hour later everyone was on their way home.

"Edward, you aren't going to hate me for getting drunk are you?" I said stumbling towards the stairs.

"Bella, it would take a lot for me to hate you girl. You are my best friend after all. Come on and let's get you to bed. Jasper already got Alice put to bed in the room you guys are staying in." I don't remember too clearly the rest of the evening, but I do remember Edward picking me up and carrying me up the stairs. Then I vaguely remember him putting me in the bed and putting the covers over me.

**EPOV**

I wanted to kill him. How could anyone want to harm my angel? The image of her pinned to a couch under his grasp makes me sick. I was left to imagine what else he did. I wanted to drive to Charlotte and hunt him down, but the look in her eyes told me that I could not leave her.

"You have no idea how much I wanted you last night Edward." Those were the sweetest words that I had ever heard come out of her mouth. I pulled back from our embrace and could tell that she noticed my shock. I embraced her again, kissing her cheek before whispering in her ear.

"I wish I could have been there love. It would have never gotten that far." I knew in that instant that she was mine. She may still have been James's girlfriend by title. But I was her boyfriend in everyway that mattered. I supported her, loved her, and would try and protect her.

I had tried to tell her how I felt at the party. But when I was about to tell her, Emmett interrupted and there was never a good time after that. And that costume Alice put her in. May the lord have mercy on my soul. I would never get sick of that image being in my dreams. Bella had too much to drink thanks to Emmett's heavy hand. I carried her up to the guest bedroom that she was sharing with Alice. I tucked her into bed and sat beside her for a few minutes before returning downstairs. She was beautiful. I would never understand how she did not see it. Plenty of others did. I kissed her forehead and walked downstairs to finish cleaning up a little with Jasper.

"Are the girls ok?" He said piling the empty bottles into a cardboard box.

"Yeah. They are good." I said taking off my mask and setting in on the counter.

"Bella looked beautiful."

"She always does Jazz. Everyday of her life. How could he do that to her?" I looked up from the counter into the eyes of my best friend. "How could he have someone so rare, so precious, and act as though she means nothing? I don't even know the whole story and it makes me sick." I said looking back down to the counter.

"I have no clue. It was worse than what she told us though. You could see it in her eyes. I wonder if Jake knows." He said finally setting down the box.

"No offense, but so what if he does. He's done what we have done. A lot of nothing." I looked back at the mask in my hands and shook my head in disgust with myself. Some protector I turned out to be.

"Edward, would you going up to Charlotte and dealing with him take away Bella's pain?" He placed his hands on the counter opposite me.

"No."

"Would it guarantee that she would leave him and he would never hit her again?"

"No." I said my voice showing my frustration more and more.

"Look I get it. If this was Alice, I would be right where you are. I would want to pound the guy into the ground, but it wouldn't make anything better." He said putting his hand on my shoulders.

"I know Jazz. I know."

"Get some sleep man. You need to try and stay strong for her. I have a feeling that she will really need you while she breaks free from him." I shrugged my shoulders and we both went to bed. Visions of Bella as Christine danced through my dreams.

**BPOV**

I woke up the next morning and found that Alice had already gotten up. I realized that I had slept in my Halloween costume. I sat up and realized that my head was a little sore. It was my first hangover. I got up slowly and went to my bag. I changed into a pair of jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt.

I walked down the stairs to see my three friends in the kitchen. Alice was at the stove making breakfast, and the guys were sitting at the table. Edward saw me first.

"Good morning, Bella. How's your head?" How drunk was I last night? The half smile appeared on his face. I strolled to the table and sat down.

"It's hurting, but I'll survive. I guess that last drink pushed me over the edge." I plopped my head onto the table and heard Emmett and Jasper's chuckles.

"Maybe so. Would pancakes make you feel better?" Alice asked in a quiet and soft voice.

"What would I do without you Alice?" I kept my head down on the table.

"Oh, go hungry I suppose. Eat up." Alice put a plate of pancakes in front of me. I began to eat and after we were finished eating, we began to clean up the house. It luckily did not take too long as our friends did not go too crazy during parties. We were all glad to get back to Preston and relax.

That night Jasper and Alice went on a walk, which they had been doing more often. Edward and I had some reading to do for class, so we stayed behind and were taking turns reading aloud and marking pertinent passages. It was nice doing homework with Edward, because it almost did not feel like work. It was much harder to get motivated to do my history homework.

I was lying on Edward's bed listening to him reading the most recent short story, when my phone rang and I saw Quil's name on the screen. Confused could not begin to describe the emotion I felt at seeing that name on my phone. Edward must have noticed by my facial expression that something was not quite right.

"Who is it," he asked looking up from the reader.

"Quil," I said. "It's weird I have not spoken to him since August. He is a friend from high school. I'll let it go to voicemail. If it's important he'll leave a message."

"Why haven't you spoken to him for that long?" Looking back towards the story trying to find where we had left off.

"I guess it's because we both have been slack about keeping in touch. He and I were mainly friends because of Jake." The phone signaled that he had in fact left a voicemail. I went through the motions of getting the message.

"Hey Isabella. It's Quil. I need you to call me back as soon as you get this," was all that was said in the message.

"I have to call him back. He sounds pretty freaked." I found his number in the history and called him back.

"Bella, I'm so glad you called me back so quickly. Do you have someone with you?" That could not mean anything good.

"Yeah, Quil. What's going on?" I responded looking at Edward. I had the most important someone with me. If there was a crisis, Edward was the best person to have with me.

"I have some bad news. I just got a call from my mother. Jake was killed in a car accident last night." Silence. I dropped my phone. Edward picked it up from the bed beside me.

"Quil this is Edward, Bella's friend. Bella is unable to talk now. Would you mind telling me what has happened?" There was silence before Edward continued. "I see. Will you call with any new information? I promise that I will take care of her." The conversation ended and Edward was by my side. I could feel the panic coming. My breathing became labored and my thinking was less clear by the second. I began to sob.

"Bella, look at me." I looked into his eyes and then attempted to withdraw from the connection. He grabbed my face and softly but forcefully resisted my attempts to retreat.

"Isabella, you may feel alone right now, but I am here. You are going to be ok, not now, but someday it will be ok. I'll be here for you forever and Jake will too."

I could see through my tears the fear in his eyes. He knew that my capacity in handling serious situations was shallow at best. I had self-destructive methods for grieving and coping. My breathing was irregular, but that was just because of the crying. I was not panicking. I was not going to have an attack as I once would. Instead, I just sat there crying and trying to maintain my breathing in a steady manner so as not to hyperventilate. It was not until that moment that I realized that I had truly grown since coming to Preston. I willingly fell into Edward's arms and just continued to cry. I forgot the rest of the world. I focused on the pain of knowing that I would never see my friend alive again. His face flashed across my mind in memories of him. With the most recent being, the kiss we shared when he said goodbye. Did he somehow know that would be the last time we would be together in this mortal world?

I sat there with Edward on his bed for who knows how long. Time did not matter. My longest and best friend was gone. I knew neither of us had anywhere to be, and I knew he would be there as long as I needed him. Edward was another one of those people who would always be in my life. Finally, Alice and Jasper came into the room followed closely by Emmett and Rose. I looked up with tears in my eyes, but was no longer sobbing.

"What did the asshole do now?" Emmett would jump to that assumption. I could not blame him. Edward went to speak and tried to wave Emmett off from saying anything more. I stopped him and finding my voice spoke for myself, but kept my eyes on Edward for the strength I needed to say what I had not wanted to believe.

"James did not do anything. I just got the news that Jake died last night. I am not sure of all of the circumstances yet, but there was an accident." I stopped. I had been able to say it and could faintly accept that it was real. He was gone. I heard the blur of shock and condolences, but focused on Edward's eyes instead. They never left mine. Nothing existed but the two of us. A sudden rush of tears came back to me.

Rosalie came over to me and rubbed my back as I sat there sobbing into Edward's shoulder. Jasper took Edward's place as I saw Edward grab my phone and walk outside for a minute. I just sobbed harder when he left. It did not take him long before he was back in the room and putting my phone beside me on the bed. Jasper gave up his position and Edward was back beside me. I clung to him. I did not want to let him go; I could not let him go. We all sat there in silence before I saw Emmett get up and walk out of the room. I continued clinging to Edward and refused to let him get up when he attempted to do so.

"Bella I need to answer this call. It's my parents." I had not heard his phone ringing.

"Answer it here please." He did as I requested. He did not leave my side.

"Hello," he said quietly as though speaking loudly would cause me more pain. I just laid down and put my head in his lap. "Hey Mom. I'm just sitting here with Bella, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice." There was silence and I could not hear what was being said. He stroked my hair.

"Yes ma'am, I will be up and ready to see you. Anywhere in particular you wanted to go for lunch. I could make reservations." Silence. "Very well. I will see you in a couple of days. I hope so too. Night. Love you." I heard the phone click shut.

"Are your parents coming for a visit?" I needed the subject not to be focused on Jake or me.

"They are coming up on Saturday to see me, since I haven't been down to Charleston in the last few weeks." I could feel that his head was hung to keep an eye on me. I finally sat up and tried to think of what I should do. I could not cry anymore.

"I should call my parents." After I had completed the initial crying after hearing news like that, my second reaction was to make sure that everyone who needed to know was informed.

"I called them already. They told me to tell you that you can give them a call whenever you are ready. Do you want to call James?"

"No. He is the last person to which I want to speak. Let him call me. I'm sick of trying to reach him." Even as I said those words, I was surprised that they escaped my lips and I could see the surprise in my companions faces as well. I thought about what I said and realized that I actually meant it. I did not really care if I ever talked to James again. The person that meant the most to me with the exception of my family and Edward was dead. I felt dead too.

There are some events in a person's life that changes them forever. For some it is a divorce, for others it's a break up, for me it was the death of my first best friend, who was possibly my first love. I would never be the same person again. I could feel that. I just hoped that the change would be for the better. I had to make the change for the better. I could not disappoint Jake. Now he would always be watching and he was someone that I could never let down.

I sat back down on Edward's bed, but allowed him to get up and go to his computer. He did not put on any music, but began writing an email instead. I decided that it was time to call my parents and see if maybe they had learned anything more about Jake's accident.

Mom answered the phone, knowing it was me. "Hey Bella. How are you doing?"

"I'm alive. Have you heard anything more? All I was told was that there was an accident and that Jake died." I was no longer crying at this point. Now I had entered the stage of grieving where I was numb to the whole event.

"Well, Billy called and told me that Jake was driving back to campus from a friend's house nearby. It was a rainy night and he may have taken a curve too fast. He hydroplaned and ran off the road before running into a tree. At least that's what the paramedics were able to gather from him before he lost consciousness."

"That's all I needed to know. I don't have much else to say. I just wanted to see if you knew anything more and to let you know that I'm ok." I imagined Jake strapped to a gurney in an ambulance without anyone he loved to comfort him and spending his last moments with strangers. I shuddered at the thought of my strong Jacob broken.

"Ok Hun. I love you and be sweet."

"Love you too mom. Night." I hung up the phone and lay down on the bed. Edward left his computer and came to sit beside me. He gently lifted my head and put it onto his lap. Alice was sitting at the foot of the bed, and Rosalie and moved over to Jasper's bed. I finally remembered Emmett's absence. "Where is Emmett?" I could hear the hoarseness in my voice.

"Getting some snacks," Edward said.

"It is easier for him to handle these situations if he has a job to do. He thought we could hang out, eat some food, and do whatever else you wanted to do." Rosalie knew Emmett pretty well and was right about giving him something to do. From what I knew of Emmett, he did not handle situations like this well.

My phone rang. James's name popped up on my screen. I ignored it. I could talk to him right now. I needed people I could depend on, and James no longer fit that description. He did not leave a message. That was fine with me. "It's James. Let him be the one to not get a phone call for a few days."

Emmett walked back into the room and said, "Did I just hear that come from Bella? Thank God. There is hope yet."

"You aren't helping Emmett," Alice scolded him.

"He is right though. Maybe there is hope for me after all." I rose up and snuggled against Edward's chest. He wrapped his arms around me.

"Bella, you have never been hopeless no matter how you felt at the time." Edward was right. I have never been hopeless, though there were times though when I felt that way. As long as I had some people in my life that cared, I would never be hopeless. The sad thing was there was now one less person in the world who cared about me.

"You're right. Though in my defense, sometimes you are so far down that it's hard to realize that there should always be hope." I focused on the pattern on Edward's shirt. It was a black and white paisley. Very few guys could pull it off. Of course, he was one of them.

"Well, that's what you have us for. I'm thinking giant movie night in the common room. I have a group ready to go whenever you give the word Bella." I agreed to the movie night so that I could try to focus on something else. Edward stayed by me the entire time.

**EPOV**

I held Bella in my arms as the tears streamed continuously down her pale cheeks. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Jake was such a good guy. It was hard to believe that I had really just started to get to know him and I would never get that chance now. My concern was not for me or even for Jacob. He was in a better place now, but losing him would forever change Bella.

She stopped crying after awhile and agreed to a movie night. She was so much stronger than she gave herself credit. She had handled things that not even I knew about, and the only other person who did know was no longer with her. It had to be a hard pill to swallow. She stayed by my side the entirety of the movie night. When I tried to take her back to her room, she would not let go of me.

"Bella, do you want to come stay in my room with me?" I whispered into her ear.

"Please Edward. I can't be here by myself right now." I carried the angel up the stairs and lifted her in my bed. I got the stuff out of my closet to sleep on the floor and made a makeshift mattress on the floor.

"Edward what are you doing?" Bella asked sleepily as she opened her swollen eyes and looked up at me.

"Sleeping on the floor love. Go to sleep." I said walking over to her and kissing her forehead.

"Will you please stay with me? Hold me?" I caressed her face with the back of my hand and motioned for her to scoot over.

"Of course, love. I'll be right beside you all night." I feel asleep shortly after with the smell of her strawberry shampoo feeling my senses.

We woke up the next day to her phone ringing. I grabbed it off my desk and handed it to her.

"Hello." She said her voice heavily laced with exhaustion. "Yeah Quil I just woke up. No I haven't spoken with Billy yet." There was a long silence before she responded. "Ok. I will see you Sunday Quil. Thanks for letting me know." She hung up the phone and handed it back to me. I put it on my desk and felt her hand grasp mine and pull me back to her.

"What is it love?" I said lying back beside her and facing her.

"Billy is planning the funeral for Sunday. My parent and I are to ride with him because we are the closest thing to family he has left.' She said so calmly, like it was nothing out of the ordinary to discuss. "I have to ask you something and I know you won't like it, but please hear me out."

"I'm listening Bella." I said rubbing her arm.

"I want you and the gang to stay here." She said refusing to look me in the eye as she said this.

"Why is that Bella?"

"It is not for the reason that you think it is. I am not worried about how you guys would handle being around James who may or may not be there. This is just something that I need to do alone. I need to know that I can do this without you guys. I love that you are always here to support me, but I also need to handle things on my own." She looked up at the end of her diatribe.

"Then you'll do it on you own. I know you can do it. You are the strongest person I know. Just remember that I am here for you please." I looked in her eyes and focused on resisting kissing her.

**BPOV**

The funeral was a blur for me. At the time, the shock had not fully dissipated. Part of me, kept expecting Jake to arrive at any minute and tell me that he was joking. Jake had no siblings, and his father asked me to ride in the family limo along with my parents. I was the closest thing to another child that Billy had left. I rode with my Billy and my family and walked into the church beside them to say goodbye to my dearest friend. It was weird to see all of my old high school acquaintances again especially under these circumstances. Though they were all upset, I could tell by the looks on their faces that they were very aware that I should be suffering the most, with the exception of Billy. As I walked into the church, I saw James sitting towards the back of the church right near the aisle. I was surprised to see him there, though I was touched by the gesture. My friends from Preston had offered to come to the funeral. Edward seemed worried when I requested that they stay in Columbia. I needed to go on my own. More accurately, I needed to know that I could do it on my own. I needed to discover my strength so that I could make Jake proud.

At the service, they played some of Jake's favorite hymns. At the end, a few of his close friends from high school, including myself went to the front of the church. The music began to play, and those of us who knew him best sang 525,600 minutes from Rent. I tried to keep my voice solid as tears strolled down my face. After the service, I got back into the limo, and rode to the burial sight.

I was only nineteen years old, and I was saying goodbye to my best friend and my confidant for as far back as I could remember. A lot of my secrets died with him.. I sat in front while the pastor said another prayer and a few last words. I couldn't leave as they put him into the ground. I just sat there, and had trouble finding the strength to get up. James did not come to the burial sight. I was happy to see that. I did not want to talk to him. Laurent, James's roommate, was suddenly standing in front of me. He held out his hands to help me up. I took them and stood up in front of him.

"Hey Bella." He said looking at the ground. I knew that no one truly knew what to say to me.

"Hey Laurent. Thanks for coming. I'm sure Jacob would have really appreciated it." I said moving beside him and grabbing his arm in mine.

"I hope he would, but I came for you. I knew James would not come to the burial and I hoped that I could speak with you alone." He seemed serious.

I looked over and saw my parents talking with friends and family so I knew I had some more time before I had to ride back. "What is it, Laurent?"

"You have to break it off with James. You deserve someone better. You deserve someone like Jake, for instance. I can't tell you much more than that. If you don't do it for you, then leave him for Jake. Break up with him Bella."

"I'm trying. I just don't know how. I've never been the one to break up with anyone. I'm a little nervous to tell you the truth. Wait, what does Jake have to do with it?" I stopped and looked into Laurent's eyes. While he played the same game, I usually did and tried to avoid mine.

"Well, Jake came to see me after he left you the other week. I have never seen him so angry. He asked me to keep an eye on you whenever you were with James so that he did not hurt you. Jake really loved you girl. I made him leave before James got home, because I was scared of a fight. I did promise him to look out for you though. If you need help cutting the cord, let me know. James is not the same guy. I'm not living with him next year. I can't take it anymore. There's more then how he treats you. It's how he lives his life. I don't want to be a part of it anymore."

"Thanks Laurent. I'll be fine, and keep in touch with me. You and I can always be friends without him." I said giving him a hug at the limo.

"Thanks Bella. Sorry about Jacob, he was the best of men." He kissed my check and walked away. James was doing something terrible behind my back. I had an idea of what that was, but put it in the back of my mind and focused on Jake. I would handle everything else later.

Upon my return to Preston, I was often treated with kid gloves. Most people knew that my relationship with Jake was more than your average friendship. They tried to imagine what it would be like, but did not know quite what to say. I tried to tell people to act the same as before the accident, but it was easier said than done. Most of them had met Jake, and really liked him. They really could not pretend that he did not exist.

Edward kept an eye out for me. He encouraged me to eat and to relax a little instead of focusing just on school. Though I loved him, I was angry with him. Why did he have to be so good? Why did he have to keep being there when my boyfriend was nothing but a burden that needed to be unloaded?

When I was not working on schoolwork, I was reading. No matter what I was doing, I was always with Edward. There were very few moments in the day with the exception of classes, when I wasn't with him. The main difference in how he treated me was that, instead of us taking time to be apart and just do our other schoolwork or hang out alone with our respective roommates, he rarely ever left my side. I never went to my fountain, well our fountain, during these weeks. I couldn't bear it. He wouldn't be there. Jake would never be able hug me and take away my troubles again.

One day before the term ended, Edward and I were studying in the library when he asked, "Bella, how are you doing today?"

"It's another day. I wish I could say that everything is ok, but I have a lot on my mind and do not want to lie to you. I am just trying to focus on something other than myself." I answered, while writing out a note card for my Latin American history class.

"I don't like the idea of you being without your friends at home during break. Please promise to call me if you need anything no matter when that is." He reached his hand for mine. I took his hand and squeezed it before releasing it and continuing on my note cards.

"I'll be fine Edward. You would be surprised what I can handle. I know you don't think I handle things well, and I know that I don't have the best methods for coping. I do have methods however, and have survived more then you know. I know you know some of it, but it was more than Jake knew himself. I just miss him." I couldn't look up. The hurt in Edward's eyes over Jake's death was like losing Jake all over again.

"I know you do. I cannot even pretend to know what you are going through. I've never really lost anyone." He highlighted something with his anthropology notes.

"Jake's death will never stop affecting me. I'm not going to lie and say that it will all be okay. It won't. The thing about emotional scars is that no amount of treatment can make them go away, but it's how you handle the effects of the scars that truly matters. I will be ok. I've survived difficult times before. You can tell people that they can stop walking on eggshells around me."

"They don't know what to say Bella. We all saw the bond the two of you had. Some of them even saw the kiss." That kiss was something that played repeatedly in my head every night. I would never forget that kiss.

I smiled at the memory. "I'm fine Edward. Let's talk about something else please."

"Ok. How about after finals I come up to Charlotte and we can go to the mall and shop?" I had to give him credit. He was great at changing the subject.

"Sounds good," I answered while looking through the note cards I had made for my European History final.

"Good, I would really like your help finding a present for my mother." I looked up at him and smiled.

"We'll find something great. Now I really need to focus on these note cards or I might as well kiss my A in European goodbye." The conversation ended and I focused on my note cards.

A/N Ok so there is the roughest chapter I have had to write. Remember this comes from my novel. I hated writing this chapter and actually love Jake's character. I have had a couple of requests to get rid of James which is actually coming up. Hopefully that can make up for this chapter. You reviews are really giving me motivation. Keep them coming!


	7. Caught

STEPHANIE MEYER OWNS ALL THING TWILIGHT.

Caught

Finals week flew by in a blur of studying, sleeping, and paper writing. Before I knew it, I was done and Emmett and Edward were helping me load my car to go home for the holidays. Though I had a small car, I never took that much home with me on break. I really only needed help when I was doing to official move in or move out.

"I'll see you Saturday for shopping," Edward said as he pushed the hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear.

"I can't wait. I will brainstorm for ideas for your mother's present." I was leaning against the driver side of my car. Edward would head out after me. Emmett and Alice both lived in Columbia when school was not in session. Neither of them had to be in any rush to get home.

"Thanks. I want it to be great." Edward was close with his mother, a trait that I had always admired in him.

I nodded. I was unsure what the separation from my friends would mean for my grief. I'd been stable since Jake's death. Without the distraction of school, I did not know what to expect. Edward was worried too. His eyes gave his fear away. I gave my them hugs and jumped in my car unsure of what was lying in wait for me in Charlotte.

Not long after getting home, I fell into an easy routine. During the day, I helped mom around the house with the holiday décor and other projects. At night, while my parents watched TV, I read and escaped into the fictional worlds that I lately preferred more then ever.

Before leaving school, Edward and I signed up for our classes together. I ended up in three History classes and two English classes. My English classes would both be with Edward. The one class I was most excited about was our fantastic fiction class. The class involved reading such books as Gulliver's Travels, Harry Potter, 1984, and other works that had a nod towards the science fiction genre.

I began rereading the books on the list so that I would not have to try to read all of the books in such a hurry. Most of the books on the list I had read at some point, whether for another class or on my own. I started with rereading Harry Potter though I had that book nearly memorized. I had three nights to stay busy between getting home and meeting Edward at the mall. James was still working on finals, so we made plans to see each other on Sunday. I did not really want to see him, but I needed to lay the foundation for the breakup. I was planning on calling Laurent before meeting him. If Laurent couldn't be there, then I would not meet with James. I'd learned my lesson.

Saturday came more quickly than I anticipated, and I woke early to get ready to go out with Edward. I got up and took Scout on a long walk. It was easier to get going when you had something to look forward to and when you had a puppy scratching your face to take him out. I came back inside and grabbed a shower and tried to make myself as pretty as I could. I spent much longer than normal getting ready. I needed Edward to know that I was surviving, and I wanted to look as nice as possible for him. I was trying to decide what earrings to wear when he called.

"Hey Edward." I answered as I decided that I would wear the silver hoops.

"Hey Darling. You ready for a fun time today?" I could hear the joy in his voice that we would be together today. I was thankful that he was just as excited.

"I am. Where are you?" I put the earrings on in front of my mirror.

"Well, I left a little earlier than I thought. So I'm closer than I expected."

"How close?" I said focusing on my earrings.

"Look out your window." I went to the window and saw him leaning against his shiny silver Volvo. I could not help, but smile. Renee and Charlie had gone to visit Billy for the day, so I said goodbye to Scout and ran out the door. I ran to Edward, and he picked me up as he hugged me.

"You are a sight for sore eyes. I've missed you so much," he said refusing to put me down.

After finally being placed back on my feet, I responded. "I missed you to. Do you feel better now that you know I haven't thrown myself into a pit of misery and despair? You can even call my mom to check my eating habits if you must." I said jokingly as I gently shoved his arm.

"Keep it up girl, and I'll leave you here. You know I just need to make sure you're ok. On a serious note, I'm actually surprised at how well you are doing." He opened my door for me and once I was inside, he ran to the driver side and got into the car. He did not play any music; we just spoke while on the way to the mall.

We got to the mall and after struggling to find a parking space, we entered the mall by the bookstore. That was a favorite place to start for both of us. We both found books, both for us and for other people on our list and headed back into the mall in search of a present for his mother.

"Hey Bella. I'm going to head to the bathroom real quick." Edward said as he pointed to the men's room straight ahead.

"That's cool. I'm just going to sit on the couches just around the corner here. I will see you in a second."

As I walked around the corner, I saw him. James was there, in all of his glory, standing in the middle of the mall and making out with some blond chick who probably had the intelligence of a gnat. Strangely enough, the sun shined down through the windows and seemed to focus on the couple, seemingly highlighting what was my ticket out of my self- induced hell, if I chose to use it. I froze and all I could do was just stare as the options on how I should react to the act of betrayal being played out before me.

I felt hurt, but was not in extreme pain that he had found someone else. Maybe this would mean that he was ready to let me go. In a way a strange sense of freedom hit me, though accompanying this freedom was the ever-familiar feeling of rejection. The feeling of freedom, however, was stronger for the first time in my life. It was so strong that it almost made me drunk. I gave into it. I had what I needed to make my escape, and if I could figure out Edward's true feelings, then maybe I could finally have a good and healthy relationship. Before I realized what I was doing, I began walking towards the sickening display of lust. I tapped James on the shoulder.

He turned around, at first angry that someone had interrupted what I am sure he thought was his spectacular work. Then he took in the full magnitude of the situation and his anger turned to a mixture of fear and worry. A combination that made what I was about to do even more pleasurable after three years of dating him. The look on his face was priceless and if I would have had a camera, I would have taken a picture so that I could savor the feeling forever. He had accused me of cheating because he himself was cheating. Nothing like doing something yourself to make you paranoid that everyone else is too.

"Bells, babe. What are you doing here?" Why was it always Bells? I told him a hundred thousand times before that I hated that version of my name, and yet even now he could not show more respect for me than that. A calm rage began to build as I as answered the boy standing in front of me.

"It's Bella, not Bells. How many times do I have to tell you that? Edward came up with me to do some Christmas shopping. He wanted to hang out since we had not had much time together during exams except while studying and he knew I would be missing Jake right about now. However, I should be the one asking the questions. Who is this?" I directed the question to her as well as James.

"I'm his girlfriend, who the hell are you?" The blond twit had a nasally voice that made me want to hit her over the head with the book I had just bought. I saw James flinch at those words and found myself enjoying watching him squirm. I stood there wondering why in the world anyone would choose to date someone who epitomized every blond stereotype ever conceived.

"I am his, as of now, ex girlfriend. Good luck on your relationship. You two make a perfect couple." I began to walk away knowing that what I had said was not an epic comeback that would be remembered forever. I cared little that it was, well, boring. Suddenly, I felt a hard grip on my wrist. It felt like my wrist was breaking in two. I fell to the floor from the pain.

The grip on my wrist was still there when James leaned over and said, "You really planning to leave Bells? I don't think you truly mean that do you?" He twisted my wrist causing me to cry out.

"Yes!" I cried out. I could not focus on anything. My vision was blurred. I felt the tears on the verge of falling but wanted nothing more than to resist. I refused to satisfy his lust for power over me anymore.

"Well, I'm not going to let that happen, and your precious Jake isn't here to protect you now." He spat at me before giving me a quick kick to my ribs. The sharp pain reverberated throughout my body making it difficult to breath. I did not scream that time. I did not want to give him the satisfaction and years of undergoing such abuse had helped me keep my pain internal and not express it outwardly.

I looked up in time to see Edward's arm fly through the air and make contact with James's face. Protection finally triumphed over support. It was nice to see. A part of me wondered if the reason protection had not won out all along is because he secretly did not care enough, but that I knew now was another thought of my former less confident self.

James fell to the ground and had a stream of ruby blood flowing down his chin. The blonde stood back at first with a confused yet concerned look on her face. She stayed silent as she slowly bent down to check on him. Something for which I was grateful for a plethora of reasons, most of all was that I could not stand her voice. The immediate area was full of people who had apprehensive looks on their faces. I'm sure that it caught everyone off guard as the two boys involved in this particular fight both seemed by outward appearances to be respectable young men. Though there were plenty of people around, no one made a motion to help James or to call any authorities. Maybe they had seen him jerking me around like a sack of potatoes or maybe they just figured it was a "boys will be boys" scenario.

My concern, however, went to Edward immediately. I looked up to him and I saw the familiar jaw clench, but it was not subsiding with its usual speed. I had not seen Edward that way before, but I was strangely not afraid. In fact, with the sun shining through the windows and into his copper hair and the strength of his expression, he looked like my own personal liberator sent to defend me against the captor from whom I was trying to escape. He had an intensity to him that was stronger than anything I had witnessed in him before. Intensity that was always there, yet hiding behind a calm façade.

Edward bent down and slowly put his arms under both of my arms. He slowly lifted me off the floor and rubbed his hand against my check. Then he positioned himself between James and me, and began to speak though his jaw remained clenched.

"Listen to me carefully because I will not say this twice. I have stood by and let you treat her in an inexcusable manner for almost a year now because she wanted to be with you. She does not want to be with you anymore, and I will not allow you to continue to treat her with such disrespect. Don't ever touch her again, and don't think for one minute that because Jake is no longer on this Earth that she has been left unprotected. You will find that you underestimate her ability to make friends and overestimate your ability to keep them. If I see you near her again, you're going to need more than a few stitches." His eyes were tight together and almost looked closed. His jaw was still clenched.

James sat on the ground looking at Edward. He knew that his reign was finally over and his face was what I would imagine that of a king would look like before being put to death by his subjects. I revealed in that look, but that emotion was soon overshadowed by my worry for Edward. His temper was always under control, until now. The relationship ended much the same way as it had begun, except now James was playing the role of Riley and Edward stepped into the role of James. That was the only similarity between the two. I knew that Edward was no James. I lightly grabbed Edward's arm and gently pulled him away from James. Edward acquiesced to my nonverbal direction.

Edward and I walked through the mall in silence, his left hand in my right. He moved his right hand very little and I could see his fingers beginning to swell. Shades of purple and gray were already painting a picture across his skin. A picture that told me, he had most likely broken something. As we walked, I slowly led him towards the food court, as breathing for me was harder than it had been at the start of our journey. I walked up to the first counter I saw.

"Can I have a cup of ice," I asked the girl at the register. She fixed the cup of ice and stared almost drooling at Edward. Edward released my hand and walked away, as I grabbed the ice and found an open table. I struggled not to look back at her and give her the death stare. Edward sat down beside me. I took his hand and put it into the ice. He flinched before finally speaking.

"I'm sorry Bella," was all he said. I looked at him and could tell that his temper was back in check. I felt a little at ease for him, but his hand was banged up more than I knew he would admit. The adrenaline going through his veins and the stoic manner with which he carried himself, would not betray the true pain he was feeling.

"Sorry for what exactly? For trying to make me understand who I was really dating or for punching someone who hurt me?" I asked as I turned my focus back on his hand.

"I should not have lost control, but I am really sorry that he was treating you like that." His tone was shifting back to normal.

"It's not your fault. I stayed with him, even when you guys tried to warn me. However, the fault truly lies with him. He is the one who cheated. He is the one who treated me badly for most of our relationship, and ended up resorting to violence. I did not deserve it, and you had nothing to do with it. It's good in a way though. It's over now. How's your hand?" I asked staring into his eyes hoping to find the real answer.

"You find your boyfriend cheating on you and get kicked in the midsection and yet you worry about me? Man, you are too good. How are you doing?" He grabbed my hand with his left and squeezed. I flashed back to one of the last times I had with Jake when he squeezed my hand to let me know that he was not trying to hurt my feelings when speaking the truth. I suppressed a sigh. He would turn this into how I was doing. I wish that he would be a little selfish every now and then. It did not make trying to support him very easy.

"I'm okay. I feel a strange sense of freedom." I withdrew my hand from his and felt my side. I could tell the bruise was already forming and I could barely move without wanting to scream.

"Really? I thought you would be devastated." I felt my head shifting towards the table and moved it upward tossing the hair out of my face. I had no reason to look down anymore.

"I knew it was over for a long time now, but did not have the courage to end it until I saw him cheating and got the shit kicked out of me. In a way, it's a blessing, but it still bruises the ego and the ribs."

I began holding my side and tried to focus on Edward and not the pain that was shooting through my ribs. It was easy to focus on him, when I thought he was injured and needed to have his temper kept in control, but now I could no longer ignore my pain. Edward's uninjured hand came up and brushed my cheek. I looked at him and stopped trying to fight back tears. He whipped the tears away and moved up to sit beside me on the bench.

"Are you really ok?" He said as he continued to brush his thumb against my check.

"I'm having a little trouble breathing. Believe me when I say that these tears have everything to do with physical pain. I really am glad that I am not with him anymore. I fell out of love with him a long time ago." Before I knew what was happening, Edward's lips crashed against mine. I kissed him back with all of my might. I had only one kiss before in my life that compared to this, and that was with Jake. I moaned from the pleasure and never wanted this moment to end. It was, as cliché as it sounds, like fire works had begun going off. The kiss with Jake was nothing compared to this. I ran my tongue along Edward's bottom lip as he opened his mouth and allowed me to run my tongue along his. There were sparks between the two of us. I pulled back slowly and rested my forehead against Edward's before pulling back.

I smiled and we got up from the table. We dumped the ice and went on with our shopping. As the day went on, however, I felt a growing distance building between Edward and me. There were little things that he was no longer doing, such as putting his hand on my back, or standing over my shoulder while looking at things. He kept a good distance from me and stood at least a foot away the rest of the day. I was nervous that maybe he did not feel the same way about the kiss that I did. I hoped that I was wrong and maybe the pain was affecting him more than he let on.

We finished our shopping and he drove me home. It took me awhile to get the seatbelt around me as twisting my torso was not an option right now. We listened to a variety of music from the sixties. I got out of the car and he helped me unload my bags and place them on the front porch. Well, he helped as much as he could with a busted hand.

"Do you want to come in for a little bit before you have to go," I asked thinking he may want a drink and something to eat before making the four-hour drive to Charleston.

"I better start making my way home. I have a long drive ahead of me. Are you going to be ok?" He always checked on me, but gave little away about his own feelings. It was frustrating being the one to share their feelings when you knew that the other person was holding back. But, I could not help but loving the fact that he cared.

"I'll be fine," I said as I bit my lip secretly wishing that he would kiss me again. However, I was disappointed when he gave me a quick hug and then got into his car. I waved as I watched him drive down the street and turn the corner. I grabbed my bags and went inside. I drudged up the stairs and dropped my bags in my room. I slowly crawled onto my bed and lay down. I quickly found out that I was unable to lay on my right side, where James had kicked me.

My mind swirled with the events of the day. For the first time since my sophomore year of high school, I was single. I had no boyfriend to answer to or turn to, not that I could ever turn to my ex boyfriends. I felt relieved to be free from James's criticism and abuse. I felt hurt that he felt he should cheat on me instead of just letting me go, but worse in that he would still not let me go without a fight in the end. I remembered the kiss with Edward, and how right it felt. A myriad of emotions arose in me until I just wanted to scream. I picked up the phone and dialed Jake's number. I hung up and tried not to cry. After weeks of trying to pretend it was not true, the fact that my best friend was dead finally became real. I longed to speak with him and hear his ever-reassuring voice. I pulled the quilt that my great- grandmother made over my shoulders and began tracing the pattern with my fingers, as I always did when lost in thought.

Edward was distancing himself. I know it was only one afternoon, but I felt that it was going to be something more permanent than that. I was not quite sure why I felt that way, or even why he was creating distance between us. Maybe he finally realized that I am a neurotic mess. Maybe he lost patience with me; the same way he had lost patience with my relationship with James. Maybe that kiss was not as magical for him as it was for me. The two people who had so often been my confidants and my rocks in life were somehow inaccessible now. What would I do when I could turn to neither of them? I picked up the phone and called the next person who I knew I could depend upon.

"Hey Girl, How are you doing?" My roommate was far to chipper for my current mood, but it was nice to hear her voice. "How was your day with Edward?"

"I'm still debating how I am doing. The day was eventful. You got time to talk?" I continued tracing the pattern.

"Of course girl, what's up?" Scout jumped up and curled beside me. Dogs always know when their owners need affection.

"I saw James while we were at the mall today. He was standing in the middle of the mall and was making out with some blonde." I heard her gasp on the other end, but continued telling the story. "I walked up to him and tried to break it off. James did not take it well. But the end result, is that I am now single." I said feeling a smile sneak on my face despite my missing Jake and the feeling I had that something had changed in the dynamic between Edward and I.

"How did Edward react?" She asked now fully paying attention to me where as before she had sounded distracted.

"He was not there at first. He was in the bathroom. I happened upon James while going to sit and wait for Edward. Then when I was walking away, James grabbed my wrist and I thought he was going to break my arm. I ended up on the ground. He asked if I really planned to leave him. When I said yes, he kicked me in the ribs." I looked at my arm and could see the bruise that was already beginning to form. I remember feeling glad that it was winter and long sleeves were able to hide it without suspicion. A mindset one learns after dealing with abusive and toxic people. "Edward must have just rounded the corner at that time because he punched James right in the mouth." Silence and then she spoke again.

"Wait, Edward punched James? Our Edward?" As she spoke, I heard Jasper laughing in the background and Alice hushing him. I knew he would enjoy this story with the exception of my getting kicked.

"Yep. Edward Cullen punched James. I could not believe it myself. He was distant after that. I wish you could have seen him. He was not treating me the same way. I'm scared that something has made him not want to be friends with me anymore." Saying it aloud, made the fear more potent. I tried to shrug it off and focus on Alice.

"Bella, Edward adores you. I'm sure he was just freaked out that he actually punched someone. Not to mention, his hand probably hurt like hell. Are you okay? Do you need to get checked out?" Her reassurance helped ease the pain, but the fear still lurked somewhere under the surface. I did not go any deeper into my feelings with her. She had Jasper there, and though he would be fine if Alice needed to speak to me, I did not feel comfortable trying to go any deeper into the conversation. Maybe I could handle it on my own. I told Alice that I was fine and that I really did not want to talk about any further and then got off the phone. I did not tell her about the kiss. I couldn't get her hopes up because I would get too excited. I had just shown how much I had grown over the last year, not only to myself but to my friends as well.

At length, my parents arrived home. I made sure their presents were stashed in my closet before going downstairs. I knew my eyes were swollen because I had been crying about Jake. I hoped they would not notice, but I should have known that they would.

"Hey Sweets. How was the mall?" Dad always called me sweets.

"It was good but busy. I saw James there. I broke up with him." There was no point in hiding it.

"About time," my mother said. "I never liked him. Now you can find a nice guy at your school." I should have known there would be no questioning as to why. My parents had never really liked him, and what did they care what the reason was, as long as we were over.

"Yeah. You're right." I did not want to go into too much detail about my love life with my parents. It was just too awkward.

"Is that all that's wrong? You look like you've been crying." Mom said as she came up and gave me a hug with scout jumping on her legs trying to get her attention.

"I just miss Jake." I said and sat down at the kitchen table.

"Oh Sweets, it was only a few weeks ago. That is understandable." I changed the subject as soon as I could. I didn't know whom I needed to talk to, but I just knew that my parents were not it. They were supportive and loving, but I guess I just needed something different. I was not sure what the something different entailed. I almost felt lost like a child who had lost her parents in a grocery store and could not find them. I needed someone to turn to, but had not idea where to turn. The phone rang and I immediately picked it up and walked out of the kitchen and into the office at the back of the house.

"Edward?' I said all too anxiously.

"Waiting by the phone for me? I'm touched Bella." His normal tone was back. Maybe Alice was right, may he was just in pain.

"You home safely? How's your hand?" I was sounding like a worrying mother hen. I did not care.

"Well, I'm home safely. As to my hand, I am actually heading to the emergency room. My dad thinks I broke something, and since he is a doctor and all I'm going to get it checked."

"How did he take that?" I could feel myself biting my lip as I sat down in the recliner we had in the back office.

"When I explained to him what went down, he was actually proud I used such force. How are you?"

"Bruised." I said falling back on my bed.

"I'm sorry. I should have stayed with you. Are you okay?"

"I guess I'm ok. I don't really know. I'm definitely ok with the fact that I am single. I just feel alone right now." I said feeling a tear run down my cheek.

"I'm sorry love, but we love you. I have to run. I'm at the ER. I'll call when I know more."

The call was ended and I went back towards the kitchen and towards to my parents.

"Mom? Dad?" I said holding my side with the adrenaline finally running out.

"Bella what is it?" Charlie said looking worried.

"Can one of you drive me to the hospital? I think I may have broken a rib." I said biting my lip waiting for their reaction.

"Of course, but how did this happen?"

"James was not very happy when I broke up with him. Let's just say he ended up kicking me in the ribs, before Edward punched him." My father let out a string of profanities, while my mom remained silent. We headed to the hospital, for the long wait in the ER.

While waiting to be seen, Edward sent me a text message to say that he had three broken bones in his right hand and he would be in a cast until we got back to school. He said that he would call me later.

The doctor ordered x-rays and came back advising that I had hairline fractures to four of my ribs on my right side and another to my right wrist from where James had twisted my wrist. They took pictures along with x-rays. I told them that I would not be pressing charges. After they found that urging me to do so was having no effect, they told me that they would keep the x-rays along with the photos for up to a year, in case I changed my mind. I was to be in a wrist brace until I got back to school as well, and I was told to take it easy and give my ribs time to heal.

My parents were furious at first that I did not pursue the charges. I tried to explain that I was just glad to be done, and with Jake's death, I could not handle anything else now. With the mention of Jake, they relaxed and told me that it was my decision.

I tried to handle the pain by myself. The pain had nothing really to do with James. I was glad to be free of his tyranny. The pain was focused on the fear of losing what I never really had with Edward and the loss I still felt over Jake. I had never really come to terms with Jake's death while still at Preston. Going home forced me to live life without him. The pain was also due to the stupid wrist brace I had to wear and the fact that I had to be careful in movements because of my ribs.

A couple of days after my trip to the hospital, I was laying in my bed reading when the phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and smiled a rare smile during that time.

"Hello Embry. What in the world are you up to?" I said trying to sound lighthearted.

"Well, I just got back in town from a brief trip to Italy with my parents. I got a few phone calls while I was gone. Is there anything you want to tell me?" My mind raced as to which one of the many sources could have told him the story.

"Well, if you are referring to the breakup, then yes. How much of the story do you know?" I said trying hard to sit up a little further and flinching from the pain of doing so.

"All of it, except why you are not pursuing charges against him."

"Embry, I cannot do it. It is not because I do not want him in trouble, but because I have enough on my plate without dealing with police, and giving testimony and being grilled by lawyers." Maybe it was the pain medicine or that I felt awkward talking to Alice, but I then just unloaded my feelings to Embry. "I have barely heard from Edward in the last two weeks, even though he kissed me after I broke up with James, I have four broken ribs, and am dealing with my best friend's death, for whom I had stronger feelings than friendship that I only realized days before he died." I felt my breathing become labored. I tried to calm down because I had to avoid a panic attack with my ribs being in their current condition. I was having enough problems breathing. I did not need to add fuel to the fire.

"Edward has not been in touch with you?"

"No. Well, a email here and there, but nothing of any consequence."

"And yet he kissed you after he punched James and you broke up with him?" I had never heard Embry sound angry, until this conversation.

"Yes." I said fidgeting with the Velcro on my wrist brace.

"Ok Bella, I get why you aren't wanting to deal with the court. Let's deal with one thing at a time. You have me to talk to if you need me. Secondly, I am so glad that you broke up with that tool."

From that point onward, Embry called me at least once a day. He even came up once to spend time with me before returning to Preston. When things became too hard to handle, I just focused on reading or called Embry. I just wanted to have a good Christmas and not bring my family down with my pain. I tried as best I could; knowing that at least for me there was a shadow. Luckily, my parents did not notice the gloom following me like in the cartoons. I could be a good actor when I needed to convince people that no worry was needed. Anything to prevent others from feeling the pain was worth it, no matter the cost to me.

**EPOV**

I turned the corner to get back to Bella only to see a guy holding her by the wrist with her arm twisted in a very unnatural position. I knew who it was in that instant I ran to her as quickly as I could and heard the tail end of the conversation. Bella was trying to leave him. Normally, I would be thrilled, but just before I got to her, James landed a kick right to her ribs. I saw red and my fist flew to his face as quickly as I could land it.

I saw James fall to the ground and for a second I focused on the look of surprise and fear on his face. Finally, someone was standing up to him. It's what I should have done all along. I turned my attention back to Bella and lifted her up by placing one arm under each of her arms. I had to be careful with that wrist and her ribs. She had to be in pain. Once I knew she was ok I turned back to James, finally getting to say what I should have the time her came to campus to see her.

"Listen to me carefully because I will not say this twice. I have stood by and let you treat her in an inexcusable manner for almost a year now because she wanted to be with you. She does not want to be with you anymore, and I will not allow you to continue to treat her with such disrespect. Don't ever touch her again, and don't think for one minute that because Jake is no longer on this Earth that she has been left unprotected. You will find that you underestimate her ability to make friends and overestimate your ability to keep them. If I see you near her again, you're going to need more than a few stitches."

It is no secret that I am very protective over Bella. I am typically a pretty calm and mild tempered individual, but when Bella was concerned my temper could come out in a matter of milliseconds. I stood there for what seemed like forever, unable to get my temper in check. I eventually felt that familiar electricity on my arm and a gentle tug. I followed Bella and began calming down and focusing on something other than my anger.

Bella got a cup of ice for my hand and I looked down at it knowing that I had at least one broken bone, but I knew I would do it again in a heartbeat.

My angel sat there worrying over me, after everything she had just been through. I just couldn't understand it. I needed to know if she was really okay. How I was depended on her.

"You find your boyfriend cheating on you and get kicked in the midsection and yet you worry about me? Man, you are too good. How are you doing?" I grabbed her hand with my good hand and squeezed. I needed a connection with her. I needed her to be alright.

"I'm okay. I feel a strange sense of freedom." She never ceased to amaze me.

"Really? I thought you would be devastated."

"I knew it was over for a long time now, but did not have the courage to end it until I saw him cheating and got the shit kicked out of me. In a way, it's a blessing, but it still bruises the ego and the ribs."

She began holding her side and a look of pain flashed across her face, before she whipped it off. She was not fooling me, but I decided not the press her. My good hand reached towards her almost on it's own accord and brushed her soft cheek. She stopped trying to hide and tears streamed down her cheeks. She was opening up and trusting me like I could assume she had done with Jake. I began to brush the tears away.

"Are you really ok?" I asked brushing my thumb against her cheek.

"I'm having a little trouble breathing. Believe me when I say that these tears have everything to do with physical pain. I really am glad that I am not with him anymore. I fell out of love with him a long time ago." Before I knew what I was doing, my lips were on hers. It was a feeling more powerful than I had ever imagined. Electricity flowed through me. To my surprise, she was the one to deepen the kiss. Eventually, she pulled away and rested her forehead against mine. I mourned the loss of her immediately.

We walked away and worked on finishing our shopping. As the day progressed, an overwhelming fear hit me. I did not want to be the most recent version of James. I did not want Bella to be with me just because I saved her from James. I could not be her rebound guy. It would rip me to shreds. I needed it to be more than that I needed to know that she was over Jake and James. I needed time, and I needed to figure out how to do that without losing her.

A/N JAMES IS GONE! YAY! Hope you all enjoy. I need more reviews!


	8. Return

**Stephanie Meyer owns twilight and all associated characters.**

Return

It was right after New Years and I was returning to Preston. I only had a few brief email conversations with Edward over the Christmas break, and did not really know where the two of us stood. I hoped that he had forgiven me for the broken bones in his hand. When I did write back to him, I did not want to mention the distance I felt growing between us. After all, I could have been feeling something that was just not there. Maybe it was just the distance and the busy nature of the holiday season.

However, it seemed to me that since I had broken up with James, my relationship with Edward was strained and not as natural as it was mere weeks prior. The breakup with James I was handling well. I still had trouble dealing with Jake's death. Though I had become stronger since living in Preston, I began to wonder if I was strong enough. My normal coping mechanism when things began to become overwhelming to me, besides having panic attacks, was not to eat. I turned to the only mechanism I knew while on break, but did not stop eating all together. It was something that I could control. I could not control Edward, or Jake's death, or even James's stupidity, but I could control how much I ate. Plus, I had no appetite anyway. When I did eat, it was something I have to force. Nothing was appetizing.

It was not the healthiest way to cope; that fact was not lost on me. During the break, the gang called to check up on me almost every day. When I was not talking to them, I was talking to some other Preston residents including Embry. Embry worked the hardest to attempt to fill the void, which Edward and Jake had left, mostly because he knew the most about the situation. The other were too close to Edward for me to confide in.

Even ninety miles away, Preston was still home and always had people looking after the other family members. I guess Jake was right, something in my eyes screamed for protection and the residents of Preston rose to the call. I pulled up to the front or Preston and parked on the brick drive, and I felt a little better about being back once my roommate raced towards me.

"Bella, I missed you girl. I'm so glad to see you." As she said those words, I could see her scanning me. She did not like what she saw. I was weaker and she could see that now, as she could not over the break. Being a good actor was one thing, but I could not hide the physical evidence from her as I could control the tone of my voice.

"Hey Pixie. I missed you too. How was your break?" I tried to act normal and unloaded my stuff onto the sidewalk. Emmett and Alice helped as they knew about my ribs, and I still wore the wrist brace.

"Bella, did you eat at all over the break? You are so skinny that I feel I could break you if I hug you." Emmett's honesty was as dependable as the Earth's rotation.

"I ate. You cannot help but eat my mom's cooking around Christmas time. Please give me a hug." He not only hugged me but picked me up as well. I flinched as the pressure around my ribs still caused pain.

"Sorry, I forgot about your ribs." He said as he put me down and grabbed my bags.

I was so glad to be home. I was glad to have people I felt free to be open with and now that we were back, I could not hide from either. I felt safe from myself once I was back. Alice and I, grabbed the bags that Emmett had not, and we all went into the front door and down the hall. It was comforting how little change here.

"Where's Edward?" I could not resist asking. Whenever we returned from any breaks, he was the first one there to greet me and make sure I didn't try to lift too much at once.

"He's upstairs unpacking. He just got here a minute ago." Emmett said.

"That's not like him. Did he look ok?" I wanted to add if he mentioned me or asked about me, but I was afraid of that answer.

"He looks like Edward, just with a cast." Typical guy response.

I tried to keep my mind off the fact that Edward did not seem interested in seeing me and instead focused on getting unpacked and resettled. I loved the days on campus before classes began. Everyone focused on catching up and relaxing before the deluge of school and homework started. It was normally a fun period. I had a feeling that I would not enjoy it as much with my roommate in a relationship and Edward trying to forget that I existed.

I got everything into my room and went down to move my car. I decided to walk back and take some time to think. Instead of walking straight back to Preston, I ended up at my fountain. I loved how quiet and peaceful everything seemed even in the middle of such a busy city. It was a place where few people came and so it became a place I went when I just needed to be alone. I sat by the fountain and thought about Jake. Would I ever be able to get over the fact that he was not a phone call away?

I sat where the two of us sat just mere months ago. I remembered that time together and a smile crept onto my face. I did feel like I was closer to him here. I knew he was watching after me. He was always my protector, and I knew that did not end when he died.

After about an hour at the fountain, I walked back to Preston. I walked in the door and saw Emmett and Rose sitting with Alice. I was so happy I gave them both hugs before sitting down in front of the fireplace which someone had turned on. I was nice to be warm after the cold walk.

"I was beginning to wonder if we needed to send a search party for you." I had not thought to call my roommate and tell her I'd be longer than I normally am.

"I'm sorry. I ended up taking a walk. I did not think to call." I warmed my hands by the fire.

"It's all good." Alice turned back to Rose and continued talking about her break.

Just then, Edward entered the lobby from the living area of the building. I held the cushions of the couch to prevent myself from running towards him and giving him a hug. It was then that he looked at me. His eyes locked with mine, and then a girl, who I had never met, came through the door, gave him a huge hug, and began to kiss him. His eyes closed and the connection between us was lost. I was shocked and sobered. She was pretty. She had long curly strawberry hair and the body of a volleyball player, tall and lean. They actually made a gorgeous couple. I hated to admit it, but they complemented each other nicely. He pulled the girl away and said his goodbyes to her before going back towards his room.

"Who the hell was that with Edward?" Rosalie asked shooting her gaze towards me. I would normally be the first to know anything about Edward, but things were not the same as they had been. I shrugged my shoulders and looked back to where he had been standing seconds before.

"Not sure. She came by about an hour ago. I'll ask Jasper later if he knows anything," Alice responded before I could.

"Bella, you know right? I mean you and Edward are best of friends after all." I leaned back into the couch and took a deep breath before responding.

"Actually, Edward barely spoke to me over the break. I guess now I know why." I was proud of myself for keeping my head tall. It was nice to know that the strength was still there even though two of my best friends no longer were. I needed to begin to stand on my own two feet.

"Well, that's different. How have you been doing Bella? You look so darn skinny." Rosalie knew when not to push things too far. She was good at changing conversation when it was needed.

"I'm ok. I just spent Christmas at home with my family. I also spent some time with Jake's dad. He had some stuff that they wanted me to have." I remembered that day with Billy.

"Hey Bella." Jake's Aunt Sue answered the door. "How are you doing dear? Please come in."

"I'm probably doing about the same as you. How are you doing? Is there anything that I can do for you?" I asked hugging Sue.

"Bella that is so sweet," Billy came into the room. "Just seeing you is helping enough. I know it must be weird being here under these circumstances, but you have been like a daughter to me and I hope to keep in touch with you and Charlie of course." I tried to fight the tears that were building up

"Always. You know you have been like a second father to me." I said turning towards him to give him a hug.

"We wanted you to have a few things of his. We know how close the two of you were and we know how much he loved you." He said this as calmly as I could have imagined any parent who had just lost his son could have.

"You know I loved him too." I looked down as I said this. I really did love Jake, and in a way, I knew that it was more than the love of friendship. He did not need to see my hurt as well. I needed to be stronger for them.

"We do. You don't have to stay too long, but I wanted to give you some stuff. I am about to head out of town for a few days and wanted to give it to you before I left." Billy wheeled himself out of the room, returning with a box with my name written on it. "There is a letter on top written by Jake. He stopped by the house on the way home from visiting you and gave us this letter. He said that if anything ever happened to him, we were supposed to give it to you. It was like he knew something was going to happen." Billy had a single tear rolling down his cheek. My guess was that it was all he had left to cry.

I did not know if I should look through the box with them, or wait until I got home. "You don't have to let this stuff go. I don't want to take anything away from you." I felt like I was robbing him of what they had left of Jake.

"He wanted you to have these things. We have to follow through with his wishes. Don't feel as though you are taking anything from me." He had just lost his son, and yet they were already focusing on doing what he would have wanted. The selfish grieving stage was never even considered by them. I was thankful to have known them for so long a time in my life.

"Do you mind if I go through this later? I think it might be best if I was alone." I said standing up from the plaid couch that I had sat and watched so many movies on with Jake.

"Not at all. We will see you soon, Bella. We love you." They both stood up and gave me another hug.

"I love you both too." I quickly grabbed the box and went outside of the house. I needed to be alone. And try to be with Jake anyway I could, even if it was through his things and my memories.

"How are you handling his death?" Rosalie brought me back to the present.

"I'm handling it as well as anyone could I guess." It was true. How does one handle the death of their best friend? It was not a wound that healed quickly if ever.

"What about James? Was he very supportive over the break? What's with the wrist brace?" Rosalie had spent most of the summer with family. She was not up to date on all the events of my break.

I sighed in preparation for my answer. "Actually, James and I broke up right after finals were over. I found him cheating on me with some blonde. James grabbed my wrist as I was leaving and I fell. I have a hairline fracture in my wrist. That is why I need the brace. I also have a few broken ribs."

"Wow. You are finally a free woman." She said as she did a little dance while still sitting on the brown leather couch.

"You could say that." I was free of a relationship, but my heart was taken. Something that two people knew. Well, one now that Jacob was gone.

"How did your ribs get broken though?" I flinched as Rosalie asked having finally processed everything that I had said. I couldn't imagine why Emmett had not given her all this information as soon as she got home. Why did I have to repeat it?

"Well James kicked me and broke my ribs. Thank god for Edward or it could have been worse."

"Edward? Was he there? I'm surprised he even got a chance to kick you."

"Yeah. He was there alright." I said looking away from them and into the fireplace.

"Bella, why don't we walk back to the room and finish getting you set back up," Alice suggested.

"Great idea Alice. See you guys soon." Alice and I got up and moved towards our room. We got to the room and she left the door open as we always did when we were in the room. Since Alice's computer was already set up, she turned on some music. Jasper came in at about that time.

"Hey Bella. Why don't you let me put your computer back together?" He said lifting the tower and carrying it towards my desk.

"That would be great Jasper. Thanks." I went towards the box I got from Billy. I had looked through it a thousand times and packed it back up that morning.

"Jasper, who was that girl with Edward," Alice inquired in a much more passive tone than I would have managed.

"That would be Victoria. Edward's sort of dating her I guess. I'm not sure, but she is not my favorite person. There is something about her that I just don't like. Is it ok if I spend more time in here than in my room this semester?"

"Fine with me, but Bella can kick you out at her discretion," Alice said as she put some of her clothes away in her closet. She had just arrived that morning and had a lot of unpacking left to do as well.

"Edward is dating someone," was all that I could choke out. I was not sure why it was hitting me harder now. I had just seen him kiss her in front of me and I did not react, but I guess that reaction was just delayed.

"Yes. Apparently, it is his ex girlfriend from high school, and I guess they got back together over the break. She was Maria to his Tony in West Side Story. Did he not tell you Bella? I'm surprised. I thought you two told each other everything." Jasper said as I sat down on the beanbag speechless. James was right. I would never find someone who could love me. Edward was my one hope, after Jake, and that was no longer an option.

"What's wrong Bella?" I bit my lip. Jasper had never really been told, but I guess he had figured it out anyway. I nodded to Alice who was looking at me.

"Jasper, I never told you, but I guess you should know now. Bella is in love with Edward." Alice said putting her arm around my shoulders and giving me a quick hug.

"Damn it." Jasper slammed his fist against on my desk. "I figured as much. You ok," Jasper asked as he sat beside me on a beanbag and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. He was like a brother to me, and I loved the feeling.

"Maybe. Maybe not. I have not spoken to Edward since the day that I broke up with James. He sent me a few emails, but he never mentioned her." I gently released myself from Jasper's hold and grabbed Darcy and then a blanket out of the box. I climbed up into my bed and tried to focus on the ceiling.

"He hasn't talked to you at all?" Jasper said quietly, but acidly. I simply nodded and laid my head on my pillow. Alice shook her head and focused on something on her computer. Jasper turned to my computer and put the monitor on my desk.

"New blanket Bella?" Jasper asked as he began to take my other computer components.

"Yes, it was Jake's." That silenced the room for a while. Jasper finished putting my computer up and then began messing around on his laptop. While Alice continued hanging her clothes up and unpacking the rest of her stuff. At length, I pulled out the letter Jake wrote me from a pocket that was sewn into the blanket and read the words again.

_My darling Bella,_

_ If you are reading this letter, it means that I can no longer be with you. I know you probably think I'm crazy for writing a letter like this at my age, but I needed to make sure you had something to remember my words if I was no longer present to tell you in person. I love you, and I will be watching after you. I know that you are not taking my death well, but I need you to be strong. You are my world, and I want you to enjoy your life to the fullest. _

_ I want to make sure you know that there are no hard feelings about the fact that I was never top on the list of guys in which you were romantically interested. It was most likely for the best given my fate. But the moment we kissed, was the best moment of my life and I thank you for indulging me and not pulling away. I just hope you have forgiven me for my impropriety._

_ Stay strong and know that you are loved. I know you won't believe me, but Edward loves you. It may take him time to tell you, and he'll have his reasons for that. Be patient and remember your promise. I love you, and will miss you even if I am in heaven._

_Yours Eternally,_

_Jake_

I got down off my bed and walked over to Alice to show her the letter. She read it and I saw tears running down her face. She took the letter and scanned it into her computer. She printed out a copy and handed it to me.

"Here. You don't want to wear out the original." I hugged her before walking back to my desk and placing the original letter in my journal.

"Thanks Al. I had not thought about that." I stopped wallowing and started unpacking my stuff. Alice noticed all of the new things but did not ask, as she knew a lot of them probably belonged to Jake. Besides the blanket, Billy had given me his laptop, a sweatshirt of his that I drowned in, some pictures of the two of us together, and a few other things. I tried to give the laptop back, but Billy said that the would never use it and he wanted it to be used.

By the time we finished unpacking, it was dinnertime so the three of us walked across the street and grabbed some food and then went back to the lobby. I picked at the food and did not really eat much. As we were eating, Edward went through the lobby and waved at us with his hand that was in the cast before heading out of the building. This, I supposed, was how it was going to be from now on. He found a girlfriend so I would not exist to him anymore. Embry came in soon after and sat beside my on the leather couch.

"How are those ribs of yours? You did not lift too much did you?" He said as he patted my knee with his hand.

"I'm ok. Emmett helped me with the heavy stuff. When did you get in?" I pulled my feet onto the couch and sat cross legged. I never was one to sit normal with my legs over the side.

"Oh I got in about an hour ago. I had an appointment back at home that I could not miss. I'm sorry that I was not here to help you get unloaded." He winked at me as he began to eat his sushi.

"No worries. I never lack help here." I leaned over and rested my head on his shoulder.

Edward did not come back for a long time. I found myself listening more than talking. I fiddled with the necklace that Jake had made me for Christmas that he never had a chance to give me himself. It was carved wooden wolf that he had carved himself on a silver chain. I already found myself in the habit of rubbing to smooth wood whenever I was anxious. At length, Edward came back in and sat down on Zelda. I was sitting on the brown leather couch so I could watch the pictures at a better angle.

"So Edward, who's the girl you were with earlier," Embry asked, as he put him arm around me. The one thing about Edward's absence that I was grateful for was the strengthening of Embry's and mine friendship. I had not realized how much of my time had been consumed with Edward prior to the Christmas break. It felt that there was more balance with my other friends, which had previously not existed.

"You are referring to Victoria, I presume. She is a girl that I am seeing." His eyes flashed to me to gage my reaction. I kept my face calm. I had become quite an actor over the last month and was trying harder to hide my insecurities. "She and I dated back in high school, and spent time together over the break. I had forgotten what good company she could be. How was your break Embry?" Embry made no motion to move his arm. In a way, I felt that this was a challenge toEdward.

"Oh, I went on a tour of Italy with my family. I almost did not want to leave. Also, I spoke with Bella here quite a bit and checked in on her. She needed as many friends as she could get, you know?" Edward had not missed that offense. I saw his jaw clench. Embry and I had talked about how Edward had not called over the break. Embry was none too happy about that., but would not say anything outwardly mean about him.

"Yeah, I did know that she needed people. I emailed her a few times myself to check up on her. How are you doing Bella?" Edward's eyes bore onto the brace on my hand. I had not told him anything about my injuries. I felt a room full of eyes bearing down on me.

"I've been worse, but for the most part back being back in Preston has helped. It's good to see you. I haven't really talked to you in awhile." I said as I faked a smile in his direction.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Things have been crazy recently. " For once, he was the one to look down when speaking. I wondered what that meant, but decided to focus on my reactions.

"It's no big deal Edward. If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to take a walk." I began to get up and walk towards the back door.

Edward made a motion to speak, but Embry cut him off. "Bella its dark outside and I would prefer you not go out alone especially with your wrist and ribs. I'll go with you if you like. I'll even grab my guitar and serenade you." I looked down at Embry and smiled.

I did not look at Edward. If he did not want to be with me, I had to stop looking to him so much. "Thanks Embry, but I guess I'll just head to my room and grab my laptop. I'll be right back."

"When did you get a laptop, Bella," Edward asked. Alice looked at me stunned; she had not realized the degree to which Edward was out of the loop on the happenings in my life. No one truly knew. I sugar coated the truth to the others so they would not be not mad at him. Well, Embry was the one person who received the unedited version.

I turned around and looked at him. I took a deep breath and answered. "I did not really get a laptop. Jake's father thought that I should have his." As I turned back and walked towards the room, I heard Edward ask about my ribs. I was proud of myself. My composure was improving. Though internally I was screaming why can't you love me, externally I thought I was remaining pretty nonchalant. I grabbed my laptop and headed back to the entrance hall. I stepped back into the lobby, and noticed that Edward was gone. I needed people to believe I was okay with this, so I did not ask where he went. I simply sat down beside Embry, who gave me the biggest smile as I sat next to him.

**EPOV**

"What happened to Bella's ribs?" I asked as soon as she stepped out of the lobby.

"You were there Edward. Are you trying to tell us you don't remember?" Embry answered in a venomous tone that I had never heard from him.

"I was there, but she only ever told me that they hurt. She didn't tell me anything else." I answered, trying to keep my voice clam though my hand was twitching to punch him just like I had with James. Luckily Alice answered, before Embry could.

"Edward, she did not tell you that he broke her ribs and her wrist?" Embry was shaking his head, while I just sat there in shock. Why would she not tell me that? I know I was distancing myself a little, but it was not like her to leave out something like that.

"No, she never told me that." I said looking at the ground and trying not to notice the shock on Alice's pixie like face.

"I wonder why that is?" Embry asked simply but still with an edge to his voice.

"No clue Embry. You want to enlighten me?" My patience was wearing thin. It was bad enough I was just expected to sit by and watch him with his hands all over Bella. I was not in the mood for his shit tonight.

"Not my place. Maybe you should go talk to her about it." He said with a smug look on his face.

"Excuse me." I said getting up and stomping out of the lobby. I needed to get out of there. I refused to sit there and deal with his shit. He did not know Bella like I did, no matter he much he pretended to. I could not believe he was trying to suck her into his world so soon after her break up with James. I kept walking toward the fountain, when I heard footsteps behind me.

"Go away Jasper." I said with exasperation thick in my voice.

"How did you know it was me?" He said still following me.

"I had a hunch." I said still wanting to make it to my fountain, but not wanting to give away the location to anyone else.

"Edward, I'm not going away, even if you don't say anything." Jasper said as I rolled my eyes.

"Fair enough." I retorted sitting on the closest bench.

"I'm going to ask you a question and I am going to need you to be real with me." He replied sitting down beside me and looking up at the sky. I nodded, but made no attempt to reply yet. "How long has it been since you actually spoke to Bella?"

"The day she broke up with James." I sighed and began tapping my fingers on the cast on my opposite hand.

"Edward, can you really not see why Bella did not tell you about her ribs and wrist?" He asked still looking up at the sky.

"No, she should know that she could come to my with anything and I'd be there for her. In case you haven't noticed, I broke my hand for her." I said pouting and focusing at the sidewalk.

"Bella, as you well know, has a habit of closing herself off. You however, closed yourself off from her. She could sense that from mere minutes after you punched James. She is not going to open up to you if she feels that you have one foot out the door already." His voice remained clam, like he was talking about something as superficial as the weather, but he made so much more sense.

"I can't just be there for her right now Jazz." I said.

"You are not just a rebound to her Edward. You should know that." He said finally looking at me.

"Maybe I should, but I don't. I need there to be some space for her to figure everything out on her own. I need Embry to back the fuck off." I said hearing the venom in my own voice at the mention of his name.

"Listen closely Edward. Embry is not after her in the way that you think." I scoffed, but jasper continued. "Bella was friends with him before you came along. He is trying to be there for her. Jake is gone, you are distancing yourself, and Embry is the only person she will open up to. She hasn't even told Alice or I most of it. I know you think you do, but it you are going to keep up this distance shit, you do not want Embry to back off or there may be nothing left of Bella before long."

"It's not as bad as all that. Don't be so dramatic." I could not believe what he was trying to tell me. My Bella was stronger than that.

"Next time you see her. Take a good long look at her, and tell me I'm being dramatic. I'm going back. I'll see you later." He got up and walker away; the words he had spoken were now stuck in my head. Was Bella not as strong as I had always given her credit for? I know that Bella has survived a lot, but that was when she had Jake by her side. Was my Bella only hanging on by a thread?

**BPOV**

I spent the rest of the night hanging with Jasper, Alice, Embry, and a few others in the lobby. The conversation did not stick to one topic for long. We were big talkers, and often distracted as well. While they were talking, I continued to read some of the stuff still left on Jake's computer. I did not have the heart to delete any of his papers or other documents. I had been putting them on disks after reading them.

Around midnight, Alice said that she was heading to bed. I decided that I was right behind her. I was glad to be back, but it was exhausting pretending to be immune to the fact that the man I loved was now dating another woman. I needed sleep. While sleeping, I escaped into the world in which I wanted to live. Alice and I went about our normal bedtime routine. Jasper followed in and kissed his girlfriend goodnight before returning to his room. I got up in my bed and was under Jake's blanket as soon as I got up there. I reread Jake's letter, but now I was reading the copy.

I put the note away and began to drift to sleep. Suddenly, I was on Zelda with talking with friends around me. Edward entered the lobby from the front of the building. He walked quickly to Zelda, grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me with a passion that I had never before experienced; well, maybe once before. Everyone around us cheered, but he seemed not to notice. He just kept kissing me before he finally stopped and said, "A moment without you is too long. You'll never know how I missed you."

As usual, I woke up too soon. I looked at my phone, which I kept on a shelf on top of my loft. It was two o'clock. I laid back down and tried to go back to sleep. I fell back to sleep and continued to dream similar dreams throughout the night. I craved the nighttime.

I woke up early for me at about eight. Christmas break had put me into a habit of waking up early and walking Scout. I knew that this habit would die fast now that I was back, but decided to be proactive until such a time. I got up and changed into some sweats. I grabbed my I-pod and walked out of the room. As I walked toward the lobby, I noticed someone behind me. I looked back; Edward was walking slowly behind me. He was trying not to catch up. I walked towards the lobby a little quicker. I made it to the back door of Preston and shoved open the back door with all of my might. I walked out my frustration. I did not care if Edward was behind me. I kept walking without looking back. I immediately regretted pushing myself so hard when the pain shot through my ribs. I slowed down and walked around campus.

About an hour later, I reentered the building. Edward sat on Zelda eating breakfast. I kept walking. I really needed to grab a shower, but I also did not know what to say to Edward right now.

"Bella," he said. "Will you sit for a minute?" I was so close to a clean escape, but could not just turn away from him. I had a promise to keep to Jake that I would not shut him out.

"What can I do for you," I asked. I sat on the arm of a chair by the door incase I needed a quick escape.

"Why didn't you tell me he broke your ribs or your wrist?" He looked genuinely injured that I had not confided in him.

"I'm not sure. I guess because we barely spoke, and when we did, it was over email. I didn't want to tell you over email." I turned off my I-pod and rolled up the earphones around my hand.

"I wanted to talk to you about that. I want you to know that I haven't intentionally been ignoring you. You are a sore spot with Victoria. She thinks we have something more than friendship. If I'm distant, that's why."

I took a deep breath and looked back at Edward, who was looking me over with appraising eyes. "You don't have to explain anything to me. I get it, even though when circumstances were reversed, I did not abandon you. Is there anything else?" I could tell there was more, but he just stared at his food.

"I guess not." He spurted out without looking up from his food.

"See you later Edward. I really need to get a shower." I did not wait for a response, but turned and went through the door. I all but sprinted to my room. I quickly regretted that when my ribs began to throb. These things really needed to heal, because not being able to make simple movements was really getting on my nerves.

Alice was still asleep, so I grabbed my stuff and went to take a shower. I did not rush, as I knew my suitemates would not be up for another hour. I lingered in the shower letting the hot water burn away any hope I had left that Edward and I would ever be more than friends. When I got out, Alice had woken up and Jasper was already in the room.

"Morning Bella. How are you?" Alice was awake and cheerful, but Jasper looked like something the cat drug in.

"Morning guys. Jasper you look exhausted. Did you sleep at all?" I said hanging my towel on a hook on my closet door.

"I just woke up. I ran out of the room quickly as Victoria had just come over." He said as he fell onto the beanbag.

"Ah. Well, that explains it. Are you guys ready for breakfast?" I asked grabbing my jacket.

"Sure. Let's go." Jasper jumped up quickly behind me.

We walked across the street to get our food. Jasper was walking around without a coat as he did not grab one before leaving his room and did not want to go back to his room. We got our usual breakfast and headed back to the lobby. I sat down where Edward had been sitting just a little while earlier. Embry had entered the lobby shortly after and was sitting beside me eating a bowl of cereal.

"Um Bella, are you going to eat any of your breakfast," jasper asked.

"I've eaten some of it. I got more food than I really needed." I poked at my food with my fork.

"Bella, please try to eat some more." Jasper was pleading at this point. It was not like Jasper to harp on something that was unimportant so I forced down more food than I had any desire to eat. We spent most of the rest of the day talking and hanging out in the lobby. Edward and Victoria went in and out a couple of times. Though I noticed, I tried to make it appears as though I had not. I listened to Embry playing some songs he wrote on his guitar over the break and caught up with Rosalie as I had not heard much about her break.

The second day after getting back Embry, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and I headed down to the Carolina Bookstore to get the books we need for our classes. I had all of the ones I needed for my English classes, but needed to go ahead and get my history books. The professors I had this semester were sticklers about reading the books. There was a flurry of activity around campus. Everyone was back by now and getting ready for another semester. We grabbed our books and made it through the overwhelmingly long line before heading back towards Preston.

Jasper and Alice went on a date that night. I wanted to give them some space so I told Alice that I would stay clear from the room until at least one in the morning. Embry and I had plans to hang out together that night anyway. Edward was in the lobby probably waiting for Victoria when I came out to meet Embry.

"My dear you look wonderful." Embry said as he took my hand. In my periphery, I could see Edward look in my direction. I was wearing my new dark wash jeans that I purchased when my other jeans became too big. Also, I had on a tightly fitted burgundy cotton shirt.

"Embry, I look as I always look. It's not like I'm wearing anything special." I said after rolling my eyes at his compliment.

"Oh I know, but I don't tell you often enough how good you look." He was wearing jeans, similar in color to mine, and a black long sleeve button down shirt with a gray t-shirt underneath. He grabbed my hand and gently led me to the piano that sat in one of the corners of the lobby.

"I thought that I would play for you while we decide what you want to do." He sat down at the piano and started playing Billy Joel's "Always a Woman". "What would you like to do tonight angel?" He asked looking at me while playing. I could see Edward standing at the front of the lobby looking over at us as I looked at Embry. Embry's mahogany hair fell into his eyes. I lifted my hand and gently moved the hair out of his eyes. He smiled and grabbed my hand laying a kiss on it.

"Though I could listen to you play all night, I would really love to just walk with you and talk." I said smiling at Embry.

"Very well." He said and he rose from the stool and began to walk slowly towards the door. He stopped a few feet from the piano to wait on me as I slide down the stool to exit. I stood up and tripped over the stool leg landing on my right side. Embry was not quick enough to catch me. I screamed out. Embry flew by my side and Edward did as well.

"Are you okay Bella?" Edward asked pushing Embry out of the way.

"I'll be alright. Embry will you please help me up?" Edward looked affronted that I had not asked him to help. Embry walked behind me and pulled me up by locking his arms underneath mine. I flinched from the pain and the recollection of how Edward lifted me in that same method when James attacked me.

"Well, that will set back my recovery." They both offered me their arms to help me walk. I walked past them both and went to sit on the leather couch that would not take so much effort to get up.

"Thanks for your concern Edward. I'm fine though. I've been through worse. Embry do you mind if I cancel our walk?" He walked over and sat down beside me. Edward walked towards the door and stood to talk to Emily who was working the desk.

"Not at all dear. Anything in particular you want to talk about?" He said looking past me towards Edward.

"I just can't have him help me right now. I need to stand-alone. I need to take this time and learn to be semi self sufficient." I said grabbing my necklace.

"Well, forgive us if we have a hard time letting you. I'll try to be there for you while still letting you handle things on your own."

"It's ok Embry. You are like an older protective brother. No worries." I said and the conversation between the two of us moved onto other things. Edward left at some point, but I have no clue when or with whom.

"When is you next gig?" I asked Embry.

"Well, we are probably going to play at the New Brookland again soon. We haven't played there since that night you came to see us. Some of the guys were hoping to meet you. Maybe you could come with me and hang out back stage with the band. You could be our official groupie or an honorary member."

"Have you ever thought about having a girl sing some songs with you guys?" I was thinking that it was time for me to do a better job at putting myself out there. I had discussed with Jacob numerous times that I needed to trust people and be less withdrawn. Jacob bused to call me his secret star because of my singing; maybe I was good enough to sing a couple of songs in public. I hoped that might break me out of my shell.

"Do you have someone in mind?" Embry asked with a penetrating stare pointed in my direction.

"Well, I've been known to sing, but never really in public." I looked towards the pictures and away from his intent look.

"Let me call Britain real quick. I think you just got an audition. Will you wait here until I grab my guitar?" I looked at Embry who had a look on his face as if he had just had a major epiphany.

"Of course. I'll be right here." I said smiling and looking at a picture of Embry and me at the Halloween party that just came up on the picture frame. I smiled remembering that night and how mortified I was to be wearing that costume.

"I'm back. Sam is coming over. He said that he should be here in a couple of minutes. He wants to hear you sing." He had his acoustic guitar in his hands and began strumming s familiar song. I began to sing along with him. It was No Doubt's "Don't Speak".

"You and me, we used to be together," as I began the song I felt that I could really relate to this song given my status with Edward. I continued singing until the end of the song, trying to keep my volume under control so that I did not disturb anyone. As I reached the final lyrics, I heard clapping from behind me. I looked up and saw the bass player from Embry's band.

"You are Bella I presume. My name is Sam. That was awesome." He said holding out his hand with a large smile on his face.

"Well, thanks Sam. I haven't sung much around other people before though." I replied as I took his hand to shake and he pulled it to his lips and kissed my hand before releasing it.

"Do you want to?' He said glancing at Embry briefly before turning back to me.

"Yes. Yes, I think I can do it." I said smiling and looking over to Embry.

"Well, I think you can too. Why don't you start next Friday at our gig at New Brookland? We'll start you with one song, but prepare others if you feel comfortable after the first one. Sound good?"

"Sounds great." I answered a little too enthusiastically.

"Great. Embry, make sure we get your girl to rehearsal. I have to run. My girl is waiting for me." He winked at Embry and then walked out the front door.

"I think we already have the song you need to sing. That song really had feeling behind it for you, huh?"

"You knew that it would. Well, I guess I can't blame you. Songs always sound better if the singer identifies with them." I said as Embry began playing one of his originals.

"That is very true. How are your ribs?" He said as he stopped playing and retuned his guitar to its case on the coffee table.

"I'm not sure. They hurt, but that has been constant since the day I got hurt. I hope the fall did not set back any recovery."

"Let's go get you some pain medication." Embry got up and I struggled to get up, but thankfully he let me do it on my own. I walked over to the door and swiping my ID, Embry opened the door and held it for me. I shout him a glare.

"I can still be gentlemanly and let you be self sufficient. Don't look at me with that tone of voice." He said and we both began walking to my room. We were about halfway there, when Edward and Victoria came out of the stairwell and began walking towards us.

"Hey guys," Edward said as Victoria wrapped her arm around his waist and began kissing his neck.

"Hey you two," I answered. "Have a great night." I said in the most cheerful voice I could muster. Embry and I kept walking, and I suddenly remembered that I had promised the room to Alice until one in the morning.

"Umm Embry, I can't go in there."

"Why not?" He asked brushing my hair out of my face.

"I promised Alice the room until one. I have another hour." I said biting my bottom lip.

"Bella, just call her. You need your pain meds. There is no excuse for you to sit in pain after that fall." I nodded and picked up my phone dialing my roommate.

"Hello."

"Hey Alice. I needed to get my medicine and I did not want to interrupt anything."

"Oh Bella. Go on in. We are actually at my parent's house. They went out of town. I might just stay here tonight. I hope you haven't been waiting long."

"No worries Pixie. Embry and I were just hanging in the lobby together. I'll see you tomorrow. Don't do anything that I wouldn't do." I said hanging up the phone and opening my door.

"You coming," I asked Embry as he brushed hair out of my face.

"Not tonight babe. I think it's time that I head to bed. See you in the morning."

"Night Embry." I went into the room closing the door. I changed and took my pain medication. I crawled up into my bed and dreamed of Jacob instead of Edward for the first time since Edward and I kissed.

**EPOV**

When I saw Bella the next day, I took a long look at her. Jasper was right. Bella was really thin. She was as beautiful as always, but thin and more pale than usual. I wondered if she had eaten anything over the break. I tried to explain the distance hoping that she would not hold it against me, but her retort caught me off guard. She had stuck by me even though James had never felt comfortable. I had not even realized that until she said it. I hated the distance between us, but knew that if I tried to be with her even as a friend, I would crack and try to be with her in a relationship, for which she was not ready.

When she cried out in pain as she fell to the ground, I was at her side in an instant, but she did not want me. She let Embry help her up. I think my heart broke into a million pieces. It was bad enough having to see him trying to get into her pants all the time, but for her to rebuff my attempt to help her broke my heart. I tried to seem nonchalant as I waited for Victoria to come over.

"Edward! Hello?" I looked up and saw that Victoria had just walked in.

"Hey babe! Sorry I must have been in another world. Come on let's go upstairs." I signed her in at the desk and walked towards my room hearing Bella giggle at whatever Embry had just said.

Victoria and I did not say a word and we walked up to my room. She was too busy texting or something on her phone. I opened the door and went over to my desk as she sat on my bed, as Bella had done so many times before. After awhile, I felt hands around my shoulders and rub down my chest. I turned around and Victoria's lips were on mine. The kiss was wrong just like all the others with Victoria, but I was trying to numb other feelings and could no longer care. I picked Victoria up and placed her softly on the bed before joining her. If Bella could be with Embry and care nothing for me, then I could attempt the same with Victoria.

A/N Don't be too mad about the Victoria thing. I will make it right just be patient. Sorry it was a little time before updating. I have so much going on. I will try to update at least once more this week. I need reviews people!


	9. Classes and Coping

Stephanie Meyer owns everything twilight especially the characters.

Classes and Coping

The first day of classes started, and I was supposed to have my two classes with Edward. I made my way to the humanities building eating a granola bar on the way. I was nervous about how class would go with the two of us together. Would he acknowledge me, or was he going to ignore me? I made no attempt to get to my first class early. Normally, I would be there ten minutes early to get a good seat and speak with the professor. Today, I did not bother. I got to the class without any sign of Edward. I sat down and kept an eye out for him as the class began. There was no sign of him. I guess had he changed his schedule.

I sat through class as the professor went over the syllabus and the texts that we would read. With the exception of excerpts and short stories, all of my reading was done for both of my English classes. After my first class, I only had a fifteen-minute break until my next class. I thought about my homework for the evening. I was ahead of schedule on my English for the most part, but would need to do some history to try to get ahead.

I walked down the two flights of steep stairs to the second floor of the humanities building. I walked to the room for my next class, and sat in the front of the room. I was most excited about this class as it was fantastic fiction. This is the class that Edward and I had been most eager about taking together. I got out my notebook and prepared for lecture. Professor Caius, who had taught me in previous English classes, was already in the front of the room ready to hand out syllabi and discuss the class.

As he was about to begin, Edward walked in the door with Victoria holding his hand. He glanced at me but did not maintain eye contact as they walked to the back of the class and sat down. I had had several classes with Edward, and he never sat in the back of the classroom. I kept my gaze on Dr. Caius and never looked back at the happy couple. While it was nice to know that I was not being completely avoided, I could not believe that he had her join this class. I pushed the unpleasant thoughts out of my head and focused on the professor.

When class got out, I was the first out of the classroom. Normally, I would be the last to leave, but I nearly sprinted out of my seat and flew down the rest of the stairs to the ground level. Once outside, it felt like it was easier to breathe. I had not realized how warm the class had been until I was outside in the 45-degree weather, though the exertion did nothing for the injury to my ribs. I found myself cursing James.

I headed back to Preston as quickly as I could. By the time I got back to Preston, it was almost time for lunch. I was not in the mood to eat. I walked through the lobby and waved to Emmett and Embry, but kept going towards my room. When I got into the room, I sat at my desk and pulled out a history book. Chapter 1 would need to be read by Thursday. Though it was only Monday, I decided to go ahead and begin to read. I finished Chapter one for my first history class and then began the reading for my second class. I took off my wrist brace while I was studying. I had another week left but it was really annoying me. I figured I'd put it back on before dinner. With about ten minutes to go until Preston dining, Alice entered the room.

"Let's go Bella. I know you did not eat lunch and you have to eat dinner. Plus, Dr Aro will be there tonight." She said grabbing my coat and holding it out waiting for me to acquiesce to her order. "Oh and don't forget your brace. Embry will flip if he sees you without it on."

"Ok Alice. I'll go. How was your first day back to classes?" I asked as I got up and grabbed my coat and my brace. I put both on, while she locked up our room.

"It was pretty awesome. We'll see how my Theatre History class will go. That appears to be the tough one for this semester. How about your classes?" She said as she struggling to put her keys back into her coat pocket.

I chewed on the inside of my lip and then said through my teeth, "I had my two English classes today. Edward and I were supposed to have both classes together. He dropped the first and then Victoria joined the second. I'm ahead on all of my work though."

"He dropped the class. That is too weird. The second was your fantastic fiction class right?" She said finally getting her bulky keys into her pocket.

"Yes, that is the one." I said as I rubbed the wolf necklace and tried to remember the promise I made to Jake. I could not give up on him, but it certainly seemed hopeless.

"And he had Victoria join it? That boy is not on my good list these days." We got to the lobby and Dr. Aro was waiting with our normal group. Embry bounded to my side when he saw me. I smiled and gave him a hug. I had not seen him much all day and it was nice to see another friendly face. I could not wait to speak with Dr. Aro. It had been too long.

"Hello Bella. How were your classes today? Dr. Banner told me that he was glad to see you in one of her classes again, but surprised Edward was not in there with you." Dr. Aro said as we all began our walk across the street to Preston dining.

"I was surprised too. He and I have not spoken much these last few weeks. I guess his new girlfriend is a little threatened. But it was great to see Dr. Banner again. I'm excited about his class. And I introduced myself to Dr. Caius, and told him that you were the one who advised me to take his class." I said. It felt good knowing that Dr. Aro had enough faith in me to have me mention his name to his coworkers.

"Good. You will love Dr. Caius's class. Of course, any class where Harry Potter is part of the syllabus cannot be too bad." He said smiling as he held open the door to Preston Dining and we walked up the stairs. I brought my hand to my face in an effort to move the hair out of my eyes. "What did you do to your wrist?" I had on long sleeves so the brace had just now become visible to him.

"Well, it is a long story. I fractured it the day I fell right before Christmas. It's not a big deal I only have about a week left of wearing it."

"Two weeks, actually, Bella." Embry said staring at me. He would be making me wear it until the exact day the doctor said I had to wear it.

"I am glad it was not more serious." I looked at Embry. If only Dr. Aro knew how serious it really had been.

We stood in line and got our food. The benefit to Preston dining is that is buffet style and all you can eat. After getting our food, we all sat down at a large table together. Embry insisted on sitting beside me. I loved having him as a friend. Whenever, I was having a bad day, his optimistic personality was so helpful in changing my mood. I tried to keep the interaction between us on a platonic basis, but knew I could have a crush on him easily. We all began to discuss a myriad of different things from movies that were seen over brake to the news of the day. The dinners with Dr Aro were the most fulfilling, because there was more substance and it was nice to be able to socialize with professors on a more personal basis.

We were almost done with dinner, when Edward came in. I breathed a sigh of relief when Victoria was not following in his wake. Dr. Aro saw him and called him over to the table.

"It is so good to see you Edward. What did you do to your hand?" Dr. Aro asked while finishing his cobbler.

"You noticed that huh? Well, there was this guy giving this wonderful girl a hard time. He got a little violent, so I stepped in. I broke a few bones in my hand." I felt the blush on my cheeks. Edward did not feel as ill towards me as I had made myself believe. It was nice to hear the kind words. "I'm not proud of resorting to violence, but I cannot say that I would do differently if put in the same situation." He said as he winked at me.

"I hope the girl is ok." Dr. Aro was extremely understanding and in tune with all of us in spite of the difference in our ages. He never was really put off by the changes in behavior between the generations.

"I dare say that she is. If not, I hope she soon will be." His eyes met mine as he said this. Maybe it was as he said that he was just trying to keep a distance for Victoria. I felt Embry lean back in his chair and stare at Edward. I could not see what the stare held, whether kindness or anger.

"It seems like everyone is getting injured. I am sure you heard about Bella's fall. Well, get some food and join us. You are missing all of the fun."

"I did hear about that. I appreciate the offer to join you, but I have a guest about to join me. I will have to excuse myself tonight, but will be back next week." With that, he walked towards the entrance as Victoria entered the room. I felt the panic begin to build. My chest was tightening and my breathing became rapid. I felt like I was having a heart attack. I had to escape. I could not let everyone in Preston see this attack. I excused myself, put my tray away and then walked briskly out of the dinning hall.

I tried to slow my breathing, but I couldn't. I sat on the brick wall near the entrance to Preston and tried all of the normal methods to calm myself out of a panic attack. Nothing I did seemed to help. The tightness in my chest turned to sharp pains. I could not catch my breath and could hear the rasping. My hands began to tighten up. I tried to straighten them. I began to feel light headed. I saw Embry and Alice in front of me. I heard them speaking, but could not make out what they were saying. Then everything went black.

**EPOV**

I couldn't do it. I tried to just relax and allow myself to enjoy being with Victoria. But I couldn't do anything more than make out with her, and even that felt wrong. Her red curly hair was not the flowing mahogany locks that I wanted to be there. I remembered back a few years ago when I thought I was in love with her. I was an incredible idiot then. That was not love. It was pure lust.

I walked Victoria back to her dorm after that and walked by the fountain on the way. I tried to think back to what Jasper said about Embry only being there as a friend to support Bella. A dry laugh left me then. That's what everyone used to say about me. Was I really just friends with Isabella? Of course I wasn't. Our relationship was always more than that.

I went to dinner the next night and saw Bella there with Dr. Aro and all of our other friends. I was waiting on Victoria to join me and thought I would go say hello to everyone. While I was saying that I hope Bella would be ok soon, Embry leaned back in his seat and gave me a death glare. He thought I was overstepping my bounds. I just shook my head before excusing myself to meet Victoria. I never saw Bella leave the dinning hall.

When I was finished with dinner, Victoria and I walked back to Preston. Dr. Aro was sitting in the Lobby talking to Jane, the Preston manager who was also known as Mama Preston.

"I hope Bella will be ok. I have never seen anyone look so pale." Jane said in a very worried voice.

"Victoria, I have to go work on some homework. Can I see you tomorrow?" I said trying not to reveal the panic in my voice.

"Yeah I should probably go meet my girlfriends anyway. Night." She gave me a quick kiss and was out the door. I was thanking god she did not try to be difficult. I walked up to Jane.

"What's wrong with Bella?" I could feel both Dr. Aro and Jane's eyes boring into me.

"Edward, I'm sorry you overheard that, but I'm not really able to say. I have to maintain some privacy. Did Jasper not call you?" She said looking surprised that I did not know what was going on.

"No ma'am and if I don't find out I'm going to go crazy." I said with panic beginning to build inside me.

"I'll take care of him Jane." A familiar voice ran out from behind me.

"Thanks Rose. I have to run advised Bella's RA about what has happened." Jane walked briskly away with Dr. Aro following behind.

"What the hell is going on Rosalie? Where is everybody?" There was no longer any attempt to hide my concern.

"She was taken to the ER by ambulance about ten minutes ago. She was very pale and passed out on the sidewalk. I don't know anything more. I was asked to stay here by Emmett so I could give updates to the staff." She said pulling her long blonde hair into a pony tail.

"Fuck. Do you know where she was taken?" I asked trying to remember exactly where my car was so I could go to her.

"Yep, but I'm not telling you." She looked me dead in the eye as if she was challenging me.

"Why the hell not Rose?" I was always taught never to yell at a woman, but I couldn't help myself now. She was standing in between me getting to Bella.

"What are you going to do Edward? Are you going to run to her and then the moment she is well abandon her again? I am not about to let that happen. She is with plenty of people who care about her and will take good care of her. She will be fine no thanks to you." She said before turning around and walking away from me. I had never even considered hitting a woman before until that second. I walked over to Zelda and collapsed trying to figure out of way to find my Bella.

**BPOV**

I do not remember anything after that until I woke up in the hospital. Jasper was there with me. I was in the emergency room. I knew that because I had been there once before. I shivered and instinctively pulled the blanket up covering my shoulders.

"Hey look who's waking up. You had all of us nervous girl. Even the doctor was a little worried when you weren't waking up." Jasper said as he grabbed my hand.

I tried to talk and realized that I had oxygen tubes in my nose and an IV in both arms. My hands were still stiff and could not open fully. I eventually found my voice. "How many people are in the waiting room?" If I knew Preston, there would be a lot of people in the waiting room and I really hated the idea of people just sitting out there waiting on me.

"A few. Don't worry about that. How are you feeling?" Jasper asked looking at the monitors above my head.

"I'm doing ok. I am extremely tired though. What happened? Where's Embry?" I could hear how weak and strained my voice sounded.

"You had a pretty bad panic attack. I would really appreciate it if you chose not to hide those from us in the future. It'd be nice to know what's coming as opposed to returning to Preston and finding you unable to breathe and then passing out onto the brick walkway. Luckily, Embry was there to prevent you from hitting your head on the sidewalk. He is out in the waiting room. Do you want me to get him?" Jasper looked at me with the closest stern expression that he could achieve.

"Sorry Jazz. I couldn't have that happen in front of the two of them. Don't get him just yet." I tried to bend my arm over my stomach but the IV placed the crook of my elbow felt too uncomfortable, so I straightened out my arm again.

"Edward and Victoria?" I cringed at the sound of those two names spoken together. I then shivered.

"You're cold. I'll get the nurse." He pressed the button and a nurse came into the room.

"Our Sleeping Beauty woke up after all. You have quite a fan club out there. Your parents know you are here. Let me get them on the line for you so you can speak to them." She got them on the phone and then handed the phone to me. While I talked to them and explained that they did not have to come down, the nurse grabbed me a warm blanket and put it over me. My parents decided I was right and that they would stay in Charlotte.

When the nurse left and I got off the phone, Jasper began speaking again. "So was all this about Jasper?" he asked as he looked down at me with the most serious face that I had ever seen from him.

"Yes and no. I've always had panic attacks here and there, but this time I could not stop it. I tried to control my breathing, but just could not calm down. My chest really started hurting, of course fractured ribs don't help the pain. It was like I was having a heart attack." I tried to avoid biting my lip when looking at the worried face of someone who was like my own brother. "Can you go get Embry?"

"Of course, I'll be right back." I laid there staring at the TV in the corner of the room and prayed. I prayed for the strength to just get through everything. I had just finished when I saw Embry and Jasper walk through the door.

"Embry I am so sorry. I should have told someone." I said. He put his hand up to stop me.

"I know. Don't fret about it. Do you remember much after you left Preston dining?" He said softly walking over to me and grabbing my hand. His thumb rubbing soft circles in the back of my hand.

"Honestly, no." I bit my lip hoping that there were not too many people there to witness my episode.

"Embry left first and headed back towards Preston. He had band practice tonight and had to get his gear. As he got to Preston, he tried to talk to you as you were sitting on the brick wall, but you weren't speaking. He finally made out that you were having an attack and you somehow told him that your chest was hurting. He called the ambulance and that's when Alice and I came and tried to clam you down." Jasper said calmly. Embry just stood there letting Jasper recall the story and flinched when he remembered finding me.

"So what have the doctors said?" I noticed I was biting my lip and tried to stop.

"Here he comes. I'll let him tell you." Jasper responded lookout out of the window into the hall.

"Hello Bella. How are you feeling now?" The doctor was tall with brunette hair and cute in a nerdy way.

"I feel tired and weak. My chest still hurts a little." I answered honestly. There was one thing I learned from Jake, most doctors could tell when you were lying and if you did lie, it could affect their ability to help you.

"Well, that is to be expected. You had a severe panic attack. One of the most acute that I have seen in my career to date. You were taking in so little oxygen that your hands were beginning to atrophy. Like last time you were here, you are also having some irregularities with your heart rhythm. At this point, it seems to be because of the attack. I think you may relax better at home. I do advise you to follow-up with a cardiologist in regards to your heart. You may have something there that we are not seeing. It's just a precaution. Like I said, it is most likely just from the panic attack. Do you have any questions?" I shook my head before answering him.

"No. I have become a professional at panic attacks." I said trying to grasp the necklace that Jake had given me, but I couldn't feel it. I felt myself getting anxious that I had lost it. The monitor gave me away.

"Are you okay," the doctor asked. "Are you feeling anxious?"

"Where is my necklace I came in wearing?" I asked while trying to control my breathing.

"I have it Bella," Jasper said holding up the wooden wolf in front of me. I heard my rhythm stabilize.

"Try to remain calm. We cannot have you going into another attack. Do I need to prescribe something for your anxiety?" The doctor took out my chart and began writing something.

"No sir. It was just a gift from a friend, and I was worried that I had lost it. I'll be fine." I said fidgeting with the blanket.

"Did you tell him about her ribs?" Embry asked Jasper. Jasper nodded indicating that he had.

"We completed an x-ray. The fall may have pushed back her healing, but the fractures appear to be healing well. I'll get your paper work done and we'll get you out of here. I would advise taking a couple of days off of class though." He walked out and Jasper put my necklace back on me. He stayed at the edge of the bed and grabbed my other hand.

"Thanks. I am glad you are here. Why isn't Alice in here?"

"She was really freaked out Bell. She does not do hospitals very well. She is in the waiting room with the others." He gently caressed my hand as I began rubbing the smooth silver of the pendant around my neck. The IV made it hard to do, but I paid little attention.

"Why didn't you go to rehearsal?" I asked Embry as a felt tingling in my fingers.

"Do you honestly think that I could go to practice after what I had seen? You had passed out by the time the paramedics got there. There was no way in hell that I was going to leave you. There will be plenty of time for rehearsals later. You were the priority. I'm going to tell the others that you are alive and doing well. Take it easy huh?" Embry squeezed my hand gently before walking back out of my room.

"Does he know?" I bit my lip in anticipation. If he knew and was not here, then I would know that Edward no longer cared for me.

"I don't think so. He was still in dinning when we left in the ambulance." I sighed in relief, as Jasper continued to speak. "You really do love him don't you?" he withdrew my hand and pulled a stool up beside the bed.

"Yes. It took me awhile to figure it out, but I do. I think the hardest thing I'm dealing with right now is losing him. Jacob may be gone, but at least that's only because he died. Edward chose to leave me behind." I stayed calm and felt warm tears rolling down my cheeks. It felt good to have my feelings in the open instead of bottling them up.

"I'm sorry Bella. I wish I could say I understand why he is doing what he is doing." Just then the nurse came in and gave Jasper my discharge papers as well as my excuse for missing a few days of classes. Jasper rolled his eyes knowing that I would still go to every class. Jasper left to tell Embry to get his car, while I changed into back into my clothes. I was so weak from the attack that every muscle in my body ached when I stood up. I was thankful when Jasper came back to help me walk out and wait for Embry who would drive us back.

When I walked into the waiting room, there were a group Preston residents sitting there waiting for me to come out. Alice noticed Jasper and me first and the others came over very slowly.

"How you doing Bella," Alice asked. I could tell they all were worried that any sudden movement might put me into another attack.

"Weak and tired. Thank you guys for coming. You did not have to wait here just for me. I'll be ok." I leaned onto Jasper for support. All my muscles ached. It wasn't until then that I saw Emmett. He was always a big guy, but tis was the first time I had ever seen him look small. I slowly walked over to him.

"What's wrong Emmy Bear?" I asked looking up into his big eyes.

"You scared me Bella. I can't lose you. You are like the sister I never had." I put my arms around him and squeezed as hard as I could.

"You'll never lose me Emmett." I said not letting him go. He lifted me up in his arms.

"Alright guys, she is pretty weak so let's get her into the car and back to Preston." He said as we walked to the nearest exit.

Emmett loaded me into the car, Alice and Jasper rode with Embry, and I back to Preston. I sat in the front seat next to Embry.

He reached over and grabbed my hand. "I'm glad you are okay Bella. You had me worried sick."

"I'm sorry Embry. I hope you can forgive me." I leaned my head against his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head and continued to drive.

"Don't talk nonsense to me. There is nothing to forgive."

It was almost midnight and the idea of using the doctor's note was sounding more and more like a good idea. It was the first day of class for my history classes, but I did just have a major panic attack that even affected my heart.

"Bella. Jasper is going to help you inside. I'll see you in the morning. Sleep sweet babe."

"Good night Embry. Thank you for everything." Jasper helped me out of the car and I leaned on him while I made my way slowly up the stairs and into Preston. Jasper opened the front door and there stood Edward.

"What's wrong? What the hell happened?" The questions were addressed to Jasper as I apparently looked too weak to answer for myself. He did not answer immediately. Edward kept at him. "I got back to the lobby and heard Jane saying that she was very pale and then Rosalie tells me she was taken in an ambulance. What's going on? Why haven't you answered your phone?"

"She had a panic attack. A pretty bad one actually. Maybe she did not like certain things flaunted in her face." I was too weak to protest or really to understand to what he was referring. "If you'll excuse us, I would like to get her in bed." Jasper pushed by Edward, and we continued our walk to the room.

"Let me help Jasper. It might be better if she stays in our room. We don't have lofts. She can sleep in my bed and I'll take the floor." Edward moved in front of us as I stood with all my energy leaning against Jasper.

"Bella are you ok with that? Alice will stay with us too. It will be a sleep over." Jasper asked as he held me up.

"I'm fine with that, but I want Darcy and to change." Jasper looked at Edward and though they were friends, I could see conflict in Jasper's face. "Come Bella I'll take you to your room and Alice will help you change. Then we'll take you upstairs to get some rest." I followed and heard Alice say something to Edward, before following us.

Alice helped me change and then opened the door to let Jasper back in. I could tell she was not thrilled with being around Edward after the way he had been acting, but she went along with what I wanted. Jasper tried to help me up the stairs, but I was too weak. Edward came, picked me up, and carried me up the stairs. Jasper opened the door and Edward carried me to his bed. He put Darcy in my arms and pulled the covers up. I was barely awake and the others thought I was asleep by this time.

"What happened guys? Was this my fault?" Edward's voice sounded tormented. Though he had been ignoring me, I did not want him to be suffering. I was wishing I could go to him, but my body would not move.

"Why should you care Edward?" Alice's voice had a sharp bite to it.

"You know I care. Bella is my friend too. I can't help my girlfriend thinks that there is something more to the two of us than friendship." I could hear the rustling of sheets as Edward made a makeshift bed for himself on the floor, just as he had done a couple of months ago.

"Edward, I am not thrilled with you. The only reason I'm here right now is for Bella. I'm actually rather pissed at you. Yes, this is your fault. Maybe being ditched by her closest friend still living is the reason she had a massive panic attack. In fact, I'm surprised she hasn't had one before now. She's been so strong about the whole thing. I did not even know the extent to which you had been ignoring her until we got back here." I could hear the thud of Alice lying down on Jasper's bed.

"Fair enough Alice. I hope you can understand where I am coming from soon enough. I'm sorry for the pain I'm causing, but I really do care." I could tell it was dark, and I vaguely remember a hand caressing my cheek before I finally fell asleep.

I do not remember any more of the conversation. I must have finally worn out. I woke up the next morning with Edward's scent all around me. I was confused at first until I remembered the events of the night before that brought me there. Alice was gone, but Jasper and Edward were still in the room. I sat up and caught both of their attentions.

"Good morning. How are you doing today?" Jasper asked. Edward would not even look at me. I knew that what happened last night would not put things back to the way it used to be. At least he still had some concern for me.

"Sore, but a little better. Alice go to class?" I said trying to sit up but having trouble putting pressure on any of my joints.

"Yep. We all have, its noon." Jasper smiled as he walked over to Edward's bed and sat next to me.

"Oops I never sleep in that late. I mean I sleep late, but never that late." I said raising up the rest of the way. I looked down and noticed I was wearing Jake's sweatshirt. I smiled.

"Bella you did have a pretty rough night. The doctor did say to take some time." He said getting up and walking to his computer to turn on some music.

"Yeah I guess. I'm going to head down to my room. I could use a shower and I need to call my parents. I'll see you two later. Thanks Edward for letting me use your bed. You're the best." I got up and grabbed Darcy. With my free hand, I squeezed Edward on the shoulder while passing his desk.

"No problem Bella. It is the least I could do." He said finally looking in my direction. I smiled at him, before turning and walking out of the room.

I walked to my room and got into the shower as soon as possible. It took awhile to get the adhesive off my skin form the medical tape and band-aids. They had put IVs in both arms so now I had bruises in the crease of both my elbows. My muscles were sore from the atrophy. When I got out of the shower, Alice was sitting in the room with Embry. I knew Embry would not be happy with Edward's interference last night, so I tried to avoid that topic.

"How are you doing darling?" He came over to me. I went towards him and gave him a hug. They were not the arms I wanted to encircle me, but it was comforting nonetheless.

"I'm ok Em. Just a little sore. Thank you again for finding me and for everything else. Am I the talk of the building," I asked, knowing the answer before I asked.

"Everyone's concerned, but they are glad that you are ok." Alice would have the diplomatic answer for me.

"I think I'm going to walk across the street and get a smoothie." I said grabbing my red USC hoodie and slipping it over my head.

"How about we get you a grilled cheese or something too? You could stand to eat more than a smoothie." Embry pushed as he let go of me.

"Whatever. I just need a smoothie." Embry and I walked across the street together. He had his arm around my waist like Edward used to. I allowed it because I did not have the strength to fight anything and it felt nice to have some sort of contact. I grabbed food and a smoothie and we headed back to Preston. I curled up onto Zelda and picked at my food.

The lobby was full of people and everyone was asking me about the night before and if I was doing well. I really wanted to hide or something to take the attention off me, but there was no such luck. I relaxed the rest of the day and told people the truth about not remembering much of what happened.

**EPOV  
** I sat on Zelda for hours. I knew that I could call all the hospitals and the area and they would not confirm she was there. I sat there helpless. I attempted to call Jasper at least ten times but he wouldn't answer, neither would Emmett. I was about to lose my mind. Finally after hours of waiting, I see Embry's car pull up in front of Preston.

I almost ran to the front door and waited for them to come up the stairs. As soon as Jasper opened the door, the questions spewed out of me.

"What's wrong? What the hell happened?" I looked at my Bella who could barely keep herself standing. Jasper would not even look at me. He tried to go around me, but I wasn't giving up that easily. "I got back to the lobby and heard Jane saying that she was very pale and then Rosalie tells me she was taken in an ambulance. What's going on? Why haven't you answered your phone?"

Jasper finally told me that Bella had a panic attack. A pretty bad one given the length of time she was there and how pale and weak she looked. I convinced him and Alice to allow her to spend the night in our room. It was a selfish act, but I needed to know that she was ok. I needed her near me.

"I'm only doing this for her you son of a bitch." Alice said as we walked to her room so she could get Bella changed. I was not sure when I turned into the leper of Preston, but I had a hunch it had to do with distancing myself from Bella. I did not blame them for taking her side over mine. I just hoped that there would come a day when they would understand.

We got Bella to the room and continued our argument. I looked down on Bella in my bed and smiled with the idea that she was with me and not with Embry. She was sound asleep as far as I could tell. I caressed her cheek with my hand and could see a faint blush reach her cheeks as the moonlight shined on her. No matter how many times I saw that blush, it never ceased to affect me. I laid beside the bed on the floor and slept peacefully for the first time since James attacked her.

The feeling of having Bella back with me was taken away again all too soon. There was awkwardness when she woke up in my bed. I could tell she was still a little weak, but could tell she was on the mend. Once she left the room, Jasper started in.

"Do me a favor Edward? Don't bring Victoria around as much." He said closing the door behind Bella.

"Am I never allowed t bring her around now? Does Bella's sensitivity dictate who I can see and what I can do now?" Jasper shook his head and just then our bathroom door opened revealing Emmett on the other side. His face was red and he slowly stalked into the room.

"Did I honestly hear you say what I think I heard you say?" He asked still walking towards me slowly. I just stood there not knowing what to say to ease the tension. Emmett continued until he stood towering over me. "Let me tell you something. She is hurting and you are the one being the prick here. Jasper is not saying never bring that slut around. He is asking you to ease off a bit. Bella was you best friend. Try to find a little bit of concern for her." He said.

"I am more concerned than you realize. I'm not sure why everyone thinks that I am the bad guy here, when she is the one running around with Embry and forgetting that I even exist."

"You are so incredibly blind Edward." Jasper said plopping on his bed, while Emmett still stood over me.

"Yes he is Jazz, and if he doesn't adjust himself soon. I will have to adjust him myself. Have a little faith in Bella. That's the least you can do if you love her like you tell Jasper you do." Emmett backed up a little at those words but his threatening demeanor remained intact.

"How did you know about that?" I asked looked to Jasper like he had betrayed my secret.

"It's obvious douche bag. You are misplacing your anger on Bella. You should be mad at yourself. If you don't make things right soon Edward, you are going to lose her. I for one, won't have any sympathy for you." He walked out of the room slamming the door behind him.

"What's he going to do beat me up?" I asked collapsing on my bed.

"He has been really tempted to, but then again so have I." He said throwing a ball into the air not even looking in my direction

"Fine. I'll limit her coming over here. Is there anything else I can do?" I asked trying not to push away everyone.

"That would be a great help. I get what you are doing, but I don't like the way you are going about this. I don't want you to think that it is you versus the rest of us. It's just that Bella is weak right now, and though she is improving much on her own, she needs us more."

"I got you Jasper. I'll try to be on my best behavior and not make it worse on her. I'm going to head over to Victoria's and try and work some of this out. I'll be back later." I grabbed my jacket and walked out of the room and away from Preston as quickly as possible.

A/N Hey guys! I hope you enjoy this update. Bella will start getting better soon. I promise. Next chapter she sings! I would love to hear reviews or theories on where the story is going! Thanks for your support!


	10. No more Talk of darkness

Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight and all of its characters.

Singing

On either side of the Preston Entrance, is a garden. If you are looking at the building from the front, the garden to the left belongs to the Preston Principal. He is like the headmaster of Preston who enjoys a private condominium within the building known as the Lodge. The garden to the right is known as the Preston Rose garden though there are other types of flowers there. Both gardens are nuzzled between the foundation of Preston's front porch and a brick wall.

That night after dinner, Embry asked me to come and sit with him outside. He brought his violin outside and we sat in the rose garden in front of Preston. There was a small table and chairs in the garden beside the ivy covered brick wall. I sat in one of the chairs and Embry sat with me.

"How are you feeling Bella?" He asked gently placing his violin on the table beside us and moving the hair out of his eyes.

"I'm feeling tired still, but the soreness has almost gone away, with the exception of my ribs." I answered as I focused on the dark wood grain of his violin. Embry had started his musical career at the age of six with the violin. At age eight, he picked up the piano. It was not until high school that he began to play the guitar as well.

"I'm glad, but I did not exactly mean physically. How are you emotionally?" He asked taking my hand and gazing into my eyes. I did not avoid this connection. For once, my eyes remained focused on his.

"I am a little better. I know you have realized that I am in love with Edward. It hurts to see him with her. I was hoping that I was wrong when I felt him distancing himself" I paused and he nodded for me to continue. "I thought that he was my Rahoul." I looked up at the sky and took in a deep breath of cold winter air.

"Your Rahoul?' He asked questioningly as he let go of my hands and leaned back in his chair.

"I have always been transfixed by the story of The Phantom of the Opera. I used to think that it was because I identified with the Phantom. But the more I think about it the more I realize that I was wrong. I'm Christine. I lived in fear of James and before him Riley for so long. Edward was my sun. He was the one who helped me out of the darkness. I guess I was wrong."

"Why do you think I give him such a hard time?" He asked as he began plucking the strings on his violin.

"Because you never really liked him? I guess I never really understood." I leaned backed in the chair and relaxed. Though Embry and I were friends, we had never gone into such a sensitive subject with each other save Jake's early death.

"I mean that Edward feels the same way, or at least I think he does. I was convinced of that, but his recent behavior is causing me some doubt." He continued to pluck the strings and then he hit one that had gone out of tune and worked on tuning it.

"Well, that is part of what has been at me. I was beginning to think that he had feelings for me too until he started dating Victoria and barely speaks to me. I guess I just got my hope up, and once I was finally free of James I no longer had Jake or Edward." I said as my hand instinctively began to stroke the pendant around my neck as I often did when thinking of Jake.

"Does James and you breaking up have anything to do with why you have been so down?" He asked looking up from his violin to me as though by seeing me while I answered, he could tell if I was telling the truth.

"No. I am glad to be free of him. I will say that it is weird to me. I almost feel lost. It has been a long time since I have been single for any given length of time. That may contribute to it. I also feel like two chances I had at true love are now gone." I drummed my finger on the table but did not take my eyes off Embry.

"I would not say that. As I said, I still have a feeling that Edward cares for you more than he is showing right now. He would not have been as upset about your hospital visit if he did not care." He put his violin back onto the black rod iron table and took my hand back in his. "I am not thrilled with the way he is acting right now. I do not like it when people deny their true feelings and treat the object of their affection as anything less deserving. My point is that right now I hate him. No man should kiss a girl and then run off like a bitch. Hopefully, I can say that I like him again soon, though I am sure he hates me." He laughed at the last part. I had to smile. It was nice to have someone who was unbiased to a point give me his take on the situation.

Embry picked up his violin and began to play a soft song. As he was playing he said, "By the way, if you do not start eating like your old self again soon. I am going to have Emmett help me strap you to a chair and force feed you." He continued to play as I smiled and nodded in acknowledgement of his threat. Not a second later I looked upwards, and saw Edward's face in his bedroom window. I looked back down but could still see his shadow. I wondered how long he had been standing there. What was he making of the interaction between Embry and I? We stayed out there for a while longer while Embry continued to play songs from classic movies.

After awhile in the garden, Sam called and asked Embry and I to come to the school of music for a rehearsal. I was a little nervous, as I had never had a formal rehearsal before. Embry went and got his guitar and we went across campus to a practice room in the school of music.

"What's up you guys? How are you feeling Bella? Embry told us abut your fieldtrip to the ER." Sam was tuning his bass while sitting on a black stool. I knew my cheeks were a rosy shade with his question.

"I'll be like new in no time. Thanks." Embry wound his arm around my waist and kissed my temple.

"She is doing well. I've been keeping an eye on her. Are Ayden and Jordan on their way?" Embry asked releasing his grip on me and putting his guitar down.

"They are right behind you. You must be too distracted by Bella to notice." Jordan said laughing as he begun to set up his drums, which he had already loaded into the room.

"Hey guys. You feeling better Bella?" Ayden asked in his quiet, soft-spoken voice.

"I am Ayden. Thanks." I had met them all before when Embry had brought them around Preston. They were all incredibly friendly and I was excited to get to know them all better. Jordan and Ayden still hadn't heard me sing, so I was nervous about meeting their expectations.

"Alright. Let's start with Bella's song. We are going to start her off with our favorite No Doubt song. Everybody ready?" Sam asked picking up his red and black bass. Everyone mumbled they were ready and I sat on a stool next to Embry.

The song began and I hit my cue. I sang like I had that night in the lobby, letting all my emotions known through the song. Singing enabled me to release all of the emotions that were bottled within me. When the last note of the song played, I looked to the band for their opinions.

"You did great Bella! Have you ever sung in public?" Jordan asked still sitting behind his drums.

"I have not. Do you have any advice?" I asked, biting the inside of my mouth and attempting not to bite my lip.

"No. You seem to command attention with your singing. I can't think of anything to add. Can you Sam?" He asked setting his drumsticks on his lap and looking over to Sam. I permitted my eyes move slowly to the bass player who was looking down at his bass. Sam looked up and a grin slowly spread on his face.

"That was awesome. I think our girl needs to prepare at least one more song."

"I know a couple of songs, she knows by heart. What if we surprise her?" Byron looked to me and had a challenging look. He was testing my courage.

"I'm game, but you need to make sure I really know it Embry. I'll trust you."

"It sounds like a plan to me. We need to get some of our new stuff rehearsed tonight. Bella why don't you listen in closely and see how we do things and we'll see what we can have you perform in future shows." I smiled and nodded. I sat on the floor by the door watching the boys for another hour an a half. Embry would occasionally look and wink at me. Before I knew it, they were packing up. As we were walking out, Sam put his arm around my shoulders.

"Welcome to the group. I'll see you Friday." Sam opened the door and helped me in Embry's car. We had a quiet trip back to Preston.

After Tuesday, I went to all of my classes the rest of the week. I spent most of my time working on schoolwork and quickly became ahead in all of my classes. Alice continued to watch over me like a mother hawk. After a long conversation about how I really was doing better and proof being shown in that I was eating more and acting better than I had since before Christmas. Alice finally let me have some time alone and went to spend time with Jasper.

When I was not with Alice or doing schoolwork, I was often hanging out with Embry in the lobby. He and I would practice a variety of songs together. Embry felt that if I practiced in the lobby, where people were always flowing in and out, I would be less nervous for the big performance. Edward walked by us on one of these occasions and seeing that I was singing in public his jaw clenched. He had never really liked Embry. A large part of me was hopeful that all the time I was spending with him, was making Edward jealous.

Friday came before I knew it. I got up early that morning and took a book into the lobby to read in the hopes that I would see Byron after his morning music class. I did not have to wait long for him to walk into the lobby.

"Well, if it isn't my little stalker. It's a good thing I like you Bella, or I might have had to call the cops." Embry's said walking towards me.

"Who's to say that you are not stalking me? I just happen to be in the lobby of MY residence hall, and you just saunter up to me."

"Touché my dear. How are you today? Nervous?" He plopped down next to me on Zelda.

"Nervous? Surprisingly, I don't feel very nervous, but I am excited. How many people do you think will show?" I asked setting my book down on the coffee table and looking into Embry's hazel eyes.

"A couple of hundred maybe. I am sure however many show up will love you as much as I do." Just then I heard a coughing as Edward walked up from behind us with Victoria. Victoria walked up to Embry's and sat on the coffee table in front of him. I looked up to Edward with a questioning look and tried to ignore the panic building within me. Embry absentmindedly ran his fingers through my hair and I relaxed.

"Aren't you Embry from No Way José?" She asked as she batted her lashes at Embry. I rolled my eyes and tried not to laugh at Embry's reaction.

"That would be me. And who are you?" He said grabbing my hand as he looked over at me and winked. His jovial manner helped me stay clam in what was really an awkward situation. I could feel Edward's eyes on me gauging my reaction after the panic attack I had last week.

"Oh I'm Edward's girlfriend, Victoria. I saw a poster that you would be performing tonight. I cannot believe Edward did not tell me he knew you." She shot an evil looking glare in Edward's direction.

"We are playing tonight. We are also having a guest singer with us. You two should come out. We will be at New Brookland tonight at nine." She began bouncing up and down when she heard and I tried not to burst out laughing.

"That is so awesome. Oh my god. Edward we have to go!" I began to choke as I took a sip of my coke. How could the Edward I knew actually be happy dating this girl?

"We can go, but I have to run work on a paper for my Anthropology class. You need me to walk you back to your dorm?"

"Nah. I told Tanya that I would meet her at the Russell House. See you later babe." She kissed him and then walked out the front door. I could feel myself flinching as I watched them kiss. Edward looked back to us after watching her walk out the door.

"So who is the guest singer tonight Embry?" Edward asked sitting on the arm of the brown couch.

"If I told you that now, there would be no surprise." Embry said staring straight at Edward.

"You know who it is Bella?" He said with his piercing green eyes staring straight into mine.

"Yes I do, but I don't want to ruin the surprise. Trust me Edward. You'll enjoy it. I'm glad you are coming. Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper and I will be there too." I tried not to choke up saying that. I was glad Edward would be there, but why did he have to bring her? I looked back to Embry who was once again rubbing small circles on my hand with his thumb.

"Well, I better write my paper. I'll see you two there tonight." He sighed and walked into the living area.

"Are you nervous now?" Embry asked looking over to the picture frame instead of at me.

"No. I won't let their presence bring me down. Besides, the song I choose is kind of directed towards him." I played with my necklace and looked at the frame as a picture of Edward and I popped up from an old banquet. We were dancing together and my head was thrown back in laughter.

"Like oh my god Bella. Do you want to come to a party with me after the concert tonight? I forgot to tell you that Sam invited you too." Embry's imitation of Victoria was priceless.

"Totally Embry. I would love to come. You want me to drive tonight?" I asked grabbing my book and thumbing through the pages.

"Well, it's your Civic or my piece of crap. That's a tough decision." I threw the book at him as he pretended to be hurt.

"I'll drive then smartass." Embry and I spent a good deal of the rest of the day lounging in the lobby. Occasionally, a couple of other people would join in the conversation. Embry invited most of them to the show tonight promising them a show that they would never forget. He never told anyone that I would be the guest singer. The band had never had anyone but Embry sing lead.

"Hey guys." Alice said dropping her bag on the ground and plopping down into a chair by the door to the living space. "How's your Friday been?"

"Great. Embry and I have been arguing over which one of us is stalking the other. You also missed a very profound conversation with Victoria." I said playing with my book and looking over at my roommate.

"It was such a deep conversation, that it may take me a few days to recover." Embry said sarcastically.

"She came up and spoke with you guys. I thought she was the reason that Victoria was keeping his distance from you." Alice said grabbing a soda from her bag and taking a long drink.

"I wouldn't really say she talked to me. She was a little focused on the rock star sitting next to me, which is fine by me." I said as I grabbed Embry's hand.

"Yeah, but Edward wouldn't take his eyes off of you. It kind of annoyed me actually." Embry said grinding his teeth and looking away from me.

"Oh Embry, are you scared that someone is going to try to take me away from you?" I said grabbing his arm and resting my head on his shoulder. He brought his hand up to my cheek and kissed the top of my head before replying.

"I'd kill anyone who tried." He simply said before removing his arm from my grasp and putting it around my shoulders.

"Umm so what time are you going to get ready for the show Embry?" Alice asked looking a little uncomfortable.

"Ummm I have to leave here at eight. Bella agreed to drive me tonight as she is going to a band party with me after. You and Jasper are welcome to come too." Embry began playing with my hair as I continued to fidget with my book.

"I'll have to ask him. Have you too seen him today?" She asked looking at her cell.

"I haven't seen him. Does he have Friday classes this semester?"

"No. I better go up to his room and find him. When do you want to start getting ready Bella?" She asked standing up and picking up her book bag.

"I'll come now. I'll take me awhile. Are we doing dinner first Embry?" I asked standing up and leaning on the arm of Zelda.

"I typically eat alone before a show. It is kind of my ritual. Do you mind if I meet you afterward?"

"Not at all. I'll see you in a few hours." I walked towards Alice and we left the lobby together and headed to our room.

"I need to run upstairs and see if Jasper is there. Do you want to come?" If I went up there, I knew Edward would be there, and part of me just wanted to go to the room and avoid him. Another part of me knew I needed to try to be friends with him and not shut him completely out if he wanted to still try to be friends. I had a promise to keep after all.

"I'll go with you." We turned to the left and headed up the stairs. The boy's room was almost directly above ours. Alice knocked on the door, which was closed. Normally, the boys left the door open if they were in the room. Edward answered the door.

"Hey girls. Come on in." He opened the door and went back to his desk.

"Is Jasper here?" Alice asked in a short tone.

"Yeah. He is just in the shower. He woke up about thirty minutes ago from his nap." Edward focused on his computer while talking. It really pissed me off that he couldn't at least look at Alice.

"Will you tell him to come downstairs when he is done? I need to talk to him about tonight."

"Oh yeah. I will tell him. It should not be long if you two want to wait."

"I have to go get a shower as I have a concert and a party afterwards to get to. You going to stay Alice?" Edward looked at me with that statement. I wanted to tell him that contrary to his belief, I could have a life without him.

'No, I'll wait downstairs. Thanks Edward. See you later." Alice walked out of the room, I made to follow her, but turned around and looked at Edward who was still looking at me.

"Do you want the door closed?" I asked trying to remove any annoyance from my voice.

"If you don't mind, that would be great. I'm hoping to finish this paper tonight before I meet with my professor for him to review it." He said looking back down at his screen.

"Ok. I hope to see you tonight Edward. I miss you." I turned without allowing a response and closed the door.

"Well, let's go get ready for a night out." Alice said giggling and grabbed my hand to pull me down the stairs. She did not let my hand go until we got into the room. She left the door open for Jasper. "So who are we making you hot for Edward or Embry?"

"What do you mean?" I asked as I grabbed my towel and other shower stuff.

"Well, you and Embry seemed pretty comfortable on Zelda earlier." She asked with a knowing smirk.

"Ok I know when I say this, you are not going to believe me, but Embry and I are just friends. I don't know want to date Embry. I still have feelings for Edward, even with the way he has been acting."

"Well, I believe you a little better this time. Although Embry is hot, and can play the guitar." She retorted wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"I'm going to take a shower. I'll be right out." I took a little longer in the shower than normal. I really had a few butterflies in my stomach about my performance tonight, but I was still more excited than nervous. I knew Embry would keep me calm. Alice was the only other person outside of the band and my parents, who knew I would be performing tonight. I got out of the shower and put on my robe before heading out to my room. Jasper was sitting on a beanbag looking at Alice, who was messing around on her computer.

"Hey Jasper. Have you done anything today besides sleep?" I said while I grabbed my clothes out of the chest of drawers.

"Nope. Sleeping all day is my favorite part of Fridays. So I hear we are going to a party after the show tonight. You and Embry are becoming close. People are beginning to talk about the two of you."

"Let them talk. He's just a friend." I went to the bathroom and changed before going back into my room.

"Hey Bella can I ask you a questions?"

"Of course Jazz. What's up?" I said as I began combing the tangles out of my hair.

"I heard you tell Edward that you missed him. Are you still in love with him?" He looked up at me and gave me a similar look to the one Scout gives me when he is caught doing something wrong.

"I don't fall in and out of love easily. I still love him, and I am not thinking that is going to change anytime soon. Embry is well aware of this." I said picking up my hairdryer and tried to hold back the tears. I finished drying my hair and decided to check my email before finishing getting ready.

"Hey Bella. I did not mean to upset you. I'm sorry." Jasper said getting up from the beanbag and walking to my desk.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Jasper. You did nothing wrong." I got up and pulled him into a hug. "Thanks for looking after both Edward and I." I whispered into his ear before heading to the sink to brush my teeth.

"Jasper, it is going to take us awhile to get ready. Do you want to hang out with us?" Alice asked getting ready to do her hair.

"I was thinking I would go pick us some Beazer's sandwiches. That way you two could eat while you're getting ready and not have to worry about your food getting cold."

"That would be awesome baby. I'll have my usual. What about you Bella?"

"I'll have my usual. Do you remember what that is?" I asked Jasper.

"An Eli with extra mayo?" Beazer's has their own names for all their sandwiches. An eli is a ham sandwich with cheese, tomato, and lettuce.

"You know me so well. Thanks Jasper. Let me give you some cash."

"You're cash is not welcome here Bella. It's my treat. I'll be back in a little bit." He said walking over to Alice to give her a kiss before walking out of the door.

"That's sweet. I'm glad you two are coming." I said brushing my teeth.

"Does Edward have any clue you are singing tonight?" Alice asked while she turned on the curling iron.

"I don't think so. I know he has seen me singing with Embry, but I don't think he knows that I actually have the guts to sing in public." I said secretly enjoying that Edward was in for the shock of his life.

"He is going to flip. I'm so proud of you." She said as she began to curl my hair.

"Thanks Al. I'm really trying. I think Jake would be proud." I grasped my necklace in my hand and rubbed to smooth finish of the wolf.

"I do too, but he was proud of you no matter what." She said as her eyes began to glisten.

"I know. I wish he could be there tonight." I grabbed my necklace and looked to the ceiling to try to prevent the tears from falling.

"He will be. Let's get you ready. I can't keep up this mushy stuff tonight." She finished curling my hair and I worked on doing my makeup as she jumped into the shower. I was wearing my dark wash skinny jeans again with knee length black leather boots over the jeans. I was also wearing my Rolling Stones fitted t-shirt.

As I was putting on some blush and dancing along to some music, I heard a whistle from the hallway. I looked up to see Jasper and Embry standing outside.

"Hey guys. You can come in and quite staring at me whenever you would like." I said as Alice entered the room and whistled at me too. The boys walked in and Jasperhanded us our sandwiches.

"Oh thank god. I'm starving." I plopped down on a beanbag with my sandwich and began to eat.

"And Bella is now officially back. I'm glad you could join us." Jasper said as he collapsed on a beanbag across from me.

"It's nice to be back," I said and gave him a bow. "You ready Embry. I wasn't expecting to see you until right before we left."

"Well I got all of the instruments packed and ready to go and got dinner, so I thought I would come and check on you." He leaned in the doorway and ran his hand through his russet hair.

"I'm fine. When do we need to head out?" I said taking a huge bite out of my sandwich.

"About thirty minutes. You think you will be ready?" He asked coming up and taking a bite of my sandwich.

"Do I not look good enough for you yet?" I asked.

"Well, you obviously look great or I would not have whistled at you." He said fiddling with his shoestrings as he sat beside me.

"Yeah, yeah always the smooth talker. Alice do you think my hair will stay curly all night?" I asked going to the mirror. If the truth be told, I was beginning to get nervous at the thought of standing in front of all of those people. I was acting cooler about the whole thing than I really felt.

"You'll be fine girl. Your hair holds curls really well." She said finishing her sandwich.

"I guess we are going to head out then and get all of Embry's instruments loaded into the Civic. We will see you there in a little over an hour." I said waving goodbye and pulling Embry out the door.

"You're getting nervous." Embry said slowing my pace down.

"What if I am? I've heard it's natural to have a little stage fright." I answered, biting the inside of my mouth.

"You're right. Try to remember that you are a natural. Just act like you are singing just the two of us." We loaded the two guitars and the electric violin. Once we were done, we headed over to New Brookland and met up with the band.

"Hey guys here comes our diva. How are you doing Bella?" Sam asked putting out his cigarette and walking towards my car.

"Great Sam. You want to give us a hand with the equipment? Embry won't let me do a lot since my wrist is still in this blasted brace." I said as I popped the trunk for Embry to get the stuff out of the trunk.

"Let's do this," Sam said as he punched Jordan, the drummer, and Ayden, the keyboardist to come over and help. We got everything unloaded and set up. The guys did the sound check as I sat over at a side table and tried to remember how to breathe. The band went back stage to get ready for the intro. I stayed out front as I would be pulled onto stage for the third song. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper came in about twenty minutes after sound check ended followed quickly by Edward and Victoria, who chose a table a few down from ours, but right in front of the stage. I had to laugh when I saw how close Edward would be to me when I got on stage.

For the next ten to fifteen minutes, a slew of Preston Residents wandered in and began gathering around us. Edward would be looking right up at me, the others were a little further away. Before I knew it, the manager came out to introduce the band.

"Thanks everybody for coming out. As you know, a popular local band called No Way Jose will be taking the stage any minute, and they have informed me they a few surprises up their sleeves tonight. So give a New Brookland welcome to the members of No Way Jose! Embry will be on lead Guitar and violin throughout the evening. Sam will be playing bass. We have Jordan on the drums and Ayden on the keyboard."

The band came out to a raucous round of applause as I saw Victoria basking in the glow near the front. The band started out with a couple of originals before they broke to do some introductions. I began feeling anxious, as I knew this would be my cue. I calmed down considerably when Embry began speaking.

"Hey guys. The guys and I want to thank everyone for coming out. Over the last few weeks we have been thinking of a way to give you all, a little taste of something new. We put our heads together and could not come up with anything, besides some more original songs. Then an angel in the form of my best friend presented us all with a great opportunity." Embry stopped speaking and winked at me.

"I was sitting in my room one night and I got a call from Embry telling me I had to get over to his place right away. There was something I had to hear. I went over as quick as I could, and walked into the lobby of his place and heard something so sweet, that it would be a sin not to share it with you." Sa, stated and he gave me an encouraging smile. Embry continued the speech.

"So we need your help convincing this angel to get up here and sing with us. Will you guys help us?" The crowed replied with exuberant "yes" and "hell yeahs". "Alright guys I'm going to need you to call her up her with me. Repeat after me: Bella, Bella, Bella." He only needed three to get the crowd calling my name with him and I felt everyone's eyes on me as I walked up to the stage. I could hear the catcalls from my Preston friends. I also saw the look of total shock on Edward's face as I reached the stage, and Embry leant down to help me up.

"Good job guys. This is the angel I was telling you about. Be nice to her and she might return."

"Hello Columbia. Everyone having a good time so far?" I said strangely comforted by the kind looks on everyone's faces and the strength of response I got. "Good to hear it. I have a song to sing tonight, that is near and dear to my heart, and is honestly something I can identify with right now. Most of you will recognize it, and you won't hurt my feelings if you decide to sing along." With that the band the opening notes, as I looked at Edward. I turned away and looked down at the microphone.

_You and me  
We used to be together  
Everyday together always  
I really feel  
That I'm losing my best friend  
I can't believe  
This could be the end  
It looks as though you're letting go  
And if it's real  
Well I don't want to know _

At that point, I looked away from the mike, and towards Edward. He stood in front of me with his jaw hanging as I continued the song. I looked towards the other Preston people before any tears came to my eyes and saw people swaying to the music and singing along.

_Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me cause it hurts_

Our memories  
Well, they can be inviting  
But some are altogether  
Mighty frightening  
As we die, both you and I  
With my head in my hands  
I sit and cry

Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me cause it hurts 

That is when I looked at Embry and got lost in the song.

_It's all ending  
I gotta stop pretending who we are...  
You and me I can see us dying...are we?_

Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me cause it hurts  
Don't tell me cause it hurts!  
I know what you're saying  
So please stop explaining

Don't speak,  
don't speak,  
don't speak,  
oh I know what you're thinking  
And I don't need your reasons  
I know you're good,  
I know you're good,  
I know you're real good  
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la  
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'  
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush  
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts  
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'  
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

Before I knew it the song was over, and I had done it. The crowd bursts into applause as I took a bow.

"What do you think guys? Should we invite her back sometime?" Embry asked as the crowd burst into cheers. "Well, Bella I guess there is only one thing to say. Welcome to the band!" Sam came over, wrapped his arms around me, and lifted me up while the crowd cheered.

"Well guys I hate to say that Bella and the rest us did not really prepare any other songs." There were several boos from the crowd, but that is when I saw Edward sitting in a chair with a grimace on his face. Victoria was standing by the stage, and he just sat there staring at me. I hadn't even noticed Alice run up to the stage and get Embry's attention.

"Well guys, we have a request for an encore for Bella tonight. And it happens to be a song that we both know very well. Many musical fans out there will recognize this, and those who have been to prior performances will recognize it too. So without further ado. Here we go. You ready Bella?"

"As I'll ever be Embry." He picked up his violin and began playing a song that I had memorized since I was ten years old and I saw the musical on stage. Sam began playing his viola as Edward began.

I chose to look at Embry first instead of Edward. I could not take the hatred I felt emanating from him. Embry started the duet as I focused on him and tried to forget everyone around me at that time.

(Embry)

_No more talk  
of darkness,  
Forget these  
wide-eyed fears.  
I'm here,  
nothing can harm you -  
my words will  
warm and calm you._

Let me be  
your freedom,  
let daylight  
dry -your tears.  
I'm here,  
with you, beside you,  
to guard you  
and to guide you . . .

It was time for me to answer him, but the words were meant for someone else. I close my eyes as I sung into the mike and looked over to Edward.

(Bella)

_Say you love me  
every  
waking moment,  
turn my head  
with talk of summertime . . ._

Say you need me  
with you,  
now and always . . .  
promise me that all  
you say is true -  
that's all I ask  
of you . . .

It was Embry's turn again I shifted my gaze to Embry whenever he sang.

(Embry)

_Let me be  
your shelter,  
let me  
be your light.  
You're safe:  
No-one will find you  
your fears are  
far behind you . . ._

(Bella)

_All I want  
is freedom,  
a world with  
no more night . . .  
and you  
always beside me  
to hold me  
and to hide me . . ._

I was now soley focused on Edward. His face softened as the song went on.

(Embry)

_Then say you'll share with  
me one  
love, one lifetime . . .  
Iet me lead you  
from your solitude . . ._

Say you need me  
with you  
here, beside you . . .  
anywhere you go,  
let me go too -  
Christine,  
that's all I ask  
of you . . .

(Bella)

_Say you'll share with  
me one  
love, one lifetime . . .  
say the word  
and I will follow you . . ._

(Both)  
Share each day with  
me, each  
night, each morning . . .

( Bella)  
_Say you love me . . ._

(Embry)  
_You know I do . . ._

(Both)  
_Love me -  
that's all I ask  
of you . . ._

Anywhere you go  
let me go too . . .  
Love me -  
that's all I ask  
of you . .

When we finished, there was a round of applause as Embry and I took our bows.

"Thanks everyone for the opportunity tonight. I think that is all for me tonight, but now I have incentive to learn some more songs and join the boys again soon." I waved as the crowd cheered. I gave the mike to Embry who hugged me and whispered in my ear, "I knew you would wrap them around your finger," Before turning back to the crowd.

"Isn't she great guys?" Another round of applause and Embry continued with their set. After walking off stage, I got surrounded by Preston residents. I looked over to where Edward had been sitting and he was gone. Victoria was still standing at the stage.

"You were great girl. Why didn't you tell us?" Rosalie said pulling me into a bone-shattering hug. I tried not to call out in pain, as my ribs still were tender.

"Embry thought it would be a great surprise, and that maybe I would be less nervous if the people I knew did not see it coming." I said smiling and talking to everyone, I knew.

"That's my sissy!" Emmett came up to me and wrapped me in a big bear hug. There was still a tinge of pain, but my ribs were finally healing.

A few people I had never met approached me to say what a great job I had done. Jake was right; there were good things that came from opening up and giving people a chance. I spent the rest of the concert watching the boys perform and even had people scream for an encore with me at the end of the night. I got back up with the boys and sung a Letters to Cleo song called "Cruel to be Kind". The band began breaking down as people began slowly filing out of the bar.

"Are you still up for the party Babe?" Embry asked as I helped load his guitars in their cases.

"Do you mind if I take a rain check? I'm exhausted." He pulled me into a hug.

"Of course I don't mind. I promised the guys that I would make an appearance or I would go back with you. I really don't like you walking by yourself at this time of night though."

"We rode here with some other friends. We can ride back with her Embry." Emmett said with a big smile on his face.

"You ok with that Bella?' Embry asked pulling the hair out of my eyes and behind my ear.

"Yep. I'll be in great hands. I'll see you tomorrow." I stretched up to give him a hug.

"You were great. I am so proud of you. Jacob would be too." He whispered as he kissed my cheek. I said a quick goodbye and walked out to my car with Rosalie and Emmett. It was a quiet ride back. They did most of the talking as I reflected on what I had just accomplished.

We got to Preston and I parked in front of the building. I made my way quickly inside. We were all heading through the lobby to go towards our rooms when I heard a familiar voice call my name.

"Bella. Do you have a minute?" I turned towards Zelda to see Edward sitting there with a look I couldn't quite make out.

"Hey guys you go ahead. I'll catch up with you tomorrow." Rosalie just shrugged her shoulders and went through the door with Emmett in her wake. I walked over to the brown leather couch and sat cross-legged.

"What's up Edward?" I looked up at him slowly and bit my lip.

"You were wonderful tonight." He said so softly that I barely made it out at first.

"Thanks. I've been working hard on it the last week or so." Edward looked at his hands a played with the class ring he still wore on his right hand from high school

"Listen Bella. I hate that there is the distance between us. I mean I cannot believe you did not tell me you were doing this. I would have supported you." I did a double take as I tried to contain my temper.

After a heavy sigh, I answered his accusation. "Edward. You are not the victim here. I did not tell you because you have been MIA in my life since that infamous day. I was not the one that created the distance between us." I said calmly.

"I have already explained that to you. I started dating Victoria again and she was not comfortable with the two of us being so close. You are the one who chose not to tell me about tonight or that that jackass broke your ribs."

"Edward I heard you, but that does not mean that I am the one that responsible for this. You gave me the best and most passionate kiss that I had ever had, and then stopped talking to me. You gave me hope and then abandoned me. I'm not the one who flaunted a relationship in your face. I haven't confided in you because you pulled away from me." I looked at him, but he would not look up at me. It was ironic to me to see a role reversal between the two of us.

"I guess I can see your point. I know I've have been distant, but that doesn't mean I don't miss you. The songs…Who chose them?" He asked with the same quiet voice the conversation with which the conversation began.

"I chose the first one, because I could identify with it. Alice requested the second one." I said confused as to why it mattered. He still focused on the coffee table in front of him and he ran his hand through his reddish brown hair.

"Are you in love with Embry now?" He looked up from the coffee table and stared straight at me. I could feel the all familiar panic rising within me, because I knew my answer to this question could either turn Edward's and mine relationship better or much worse.

"Not that you have any right to ask me that, but no. I am in love with someone, but that person is not Embry. Embry is just a friend who has helped me heal from the loss of one or maybe two best friends. I can't do this right now Edward. If you'll excuse me, I need to go to my room." I did not wait for an answer, but quickly got up and left the lobby. I did not even realize that I was holding my breath until I got into my room. I closed the door and finally lost control. I sobbed. I sobbed, as I never really had for James, Jacob, and Edward. I collapsed on a beanbag and just laid there crying until I was sure that I would be dehydrated.

It was true that I had made great strides in the last few weeks. I felt myself slowly becoming whole, but I still never fully grieved. I just wallowed in a pit of despair. I never just let go and cried as hard as I could. It felt cathartic. I was crying so hard I did not even hear the door opening.

"Bella?" Byron stood in my door that I had sworn I closed. I looked up at him and continued crying. He walked over, picked me up in his arms, and set me in his lap. I continued crying.

"It's ok babe. Let it out. It's healthy. Let it out." He whispered into my ear as he whipped the tears falling from my eyes and gently rubbed my back. I do not remember when, but sometime in the night, I feel asleep. I woke up on the pile of beanbags with Jake's blanket over me with Embry sleeping beside me. I was still wearing my outfit from last night, with the exception of my boots. I could hear Jasper's snores from my loft and Alice's soft breaths from her loft. I got up and went to get a bottle of water from my mini fridge.

"Hey dear. How are you feeling this morning?" Embry whispered and jumped at the unexpected sound of his voice. I turned to look at him and saw worry emanating from him. "Sorry I did not mean to startle you."

"I'm better, but I feel like my eyes are swollen." I said as I scuttled over to Embry laying beside him once again, and laying my head in his lap.

"Well, that's to be expected in anyone who cries that much in one night. So are we going to talk about it?" He sat up and pushed my hair out of my face, but I made no movement to sit up.

"I guess we have too. You know I never really lost it when Jacob died right?" I whispered, attempting not to wake Alice and Jasper. He nodded for me to continue. "Edward was in the lobby when I got back last night." I sat up and took a deep breath before I continued. "He asked why I did not tell him about the show and said he hated the distance between us. I essentially told him if he wanted someone to blame for that then he needed to look in the mirror."

"Well, I'm proud of you for that." Embry said while rubbing my hand softly. "I know you hate any conflict, but you stood up for yourself and you were right. Anything else?"

"He asked if I was in love with you. I guess he has seen us together enough along with heard the rumors." I said looking away from him at this.

"And you told him the truth I presume, which is we are just friends?" He said grabbing my chin and forcing me to maintain eye contact.

"Yes. I told him that I was in love with someone, but that it was not you. I could not take anymore after that. I came back here and just let loose all of the emotions I never realized I'd bottled up. How did you know I needed you?" I asked as I gathered my hair up and put it into a ponytail with the rubber band around my wrist.

"Rosalie and Emmett heard you crying and had seen you talking to Edward. They called me and told me to get over here ASAP. So I ran through the lobby, and tried not to punch Edward as he sat there giving me an eat shit and die look." He said chuckling as he grabbed my water and took a long sip. "Why don't you get a shower and get changed, and we'll go get breakfast together?"

"Sounds good. I'll be back in a second." I said grabbing my towel and some clean clothes.

"Take your time. I'll catch a quick nap." He said laying back down on the beanbags.

I took a quick shower and finished getting ready while my friends continued to sleep. The hot water felt good on my face after everything that happened last night. When I was done, Embry was up and ready to go get breakfast even though he was still wearing his clothes from last night. If the rumors were going on before, they certainly would go crazy today, but I no longer cared. We walked down the hall talking about the show the previous night. Embry was sitting outside on the porch eating breakfast as we walked by.

"So on a scale of one to ten, with ten being the most he can, how much does your boy hate me right now?" Embry asked as we walked across the street.

"Not sure, but I bet I can push it over to the ten mark." I grabbed Embry's arm and wound it around my waist.

"If he losses it and punches me, it will be entirely your fault." He said pointing his forefinger in my face. We both laughed as we walked across the street and got our breakfast, and returned to Preston to eat in the lobby. Edward was gone and I tried to focus on everyone else, who were talking about the concert. Everyone spent the rest of that day, giving requests to us for the next concert.

The rest of the weekend, I worked on schoolwork and stayed in my room. Embry visited a couple of times, but I mostly stayed alone. Monday came all too soon, and I returned to my routine of schoolwork, Preston Dining, and an occasional rehearsal with the band. I had not heard anything from Edward since the night of the concert.

**EPOV**

I sat in New Brookland Tavern against my will. Victoria had made me bring her here to make up for not telling her that I knew Embry. She had apparently seen them perform at a prior show, and knowing Victoria, she formed a little crush on him. Did I care that my girlfriend had a thing for another guy? No. I really couldn't considering that I was in love with someone else.

The thing that was really bothering me is sitting here watching Embry knowing how much Bella cared for him. I was fiddling around on my Blackberry trying not to look over at the table housing all of my Preston friends. I'm not sure how I worked myself into this self imposed exile, but I knew I needed to find a way back.

As I was sitting there reading Facebook, Embry starts to introduce this new mystery singer, then longer his introduction goes, the more anxious I become. When they started to scream out Bella's name, a knot formed in my stomach.

She rose up and was helped on stage by Embry. She looked gorgeous, but then again she always looked like an angel. She gave an introduction and then she began to sing.

_You and me  
We used to be together  
Everyday together always  
I really feel  
That I'm losing my best friend  
I can't believe  
This could be the end  
It looks as though you're letting go  
And if it's real  
Well I don't want to know _

Her voice was that of an angel and the song was being directed at me. I was hurting her in my distance. I tried not to think as I listened to the words.

_Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me cause it hurts_

Our memories  
Well, they can be inviting  
But some are altogether  
Mighty frightening  
As we die, both you and I  
With my head in my hands  
I sit and cry  
It was hard to listen. It was our relationship at the current time put to music. I loved her singing, but I hated the meaning. I hated that Embry was the reason she was venturing out of her shell and seemed to be healing. _  
Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me cause it hurts_

_It's all ending  
I gotta stop pretending who we are...  
You and me I can see us dying...are we?_

Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me cause it hurts  
Don't tell me cause it hurts!  
I know what you're saying  
So please stop explaining

Don't speak,  
don't speak,  
don't speak,  
oh I know what you're thinking  
And I don't need your reasons  
I know you're good,  
I know you're good,  
I know you're real good  
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la  
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'  
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush  
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts  
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'  
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

I sat there in awe of her performance but hurt by the meaning in the song. Anyone who knew us would not be in doubt as to whom that song was directed. It was nothing less than I deserved. I tried to remind myself that I had done this to myself, but at the same time she kept her distance as well. She shut me out and did not tell me about her broken ribs or her singing. She looked over to me and I tried to wipe the pained look off of my face.

Then the encore begins playing. I hear the song that haunts my dreams. The song that was written for Bella and I, and yet she was onstage singing it with another guy. My heart broke until I realized that though her words were answering Embry's, she was looking at me as she sung them. There was still hope. I sat there in awe as she kept her face fixed on mine whenever she was singing. The connection between us was still there, but when the song ended, it was Embry who engulfed her in his embrace.

"Hey Victoria." I said lightly brushing her arm.

"What Edward?' She sounded frustrated.

"I can't do this anymore." I said motioning between her and me. "I'm through." I got up as she turned around to the stage and walked out the door trying to figure out how could get my life and friendships back on track.

I sat in the Preston Lobby in the vain hope that Bella would come back instead of going to the party. I had been there for what felt like hours, when she walked in followed by Emmet and Rose.

"Bella. Do you have a minute?" She turned towards me as Rosalie and Emmett paused for her response.

"Hey guys you go ahead. I'll catch up with you tomorrow." She walked to the brown leather cough and sat down as Rosalie and Emmett walked towards there rooms.

"What's up Edward?" She slowly looked at me biting her lip in that ever so seductive way. She was nervous of what this conversation would hold.

"You were wonderful tonight." I said what she deserved to hear and what need to be said.

"Thanks. I've been working hard on it the last week or so." I played with my class ring nervous about what else I needed to say. "Listen Bella. I hate that there is the distance between us. I mean I cannot believe you did not tell me you were doing this. I would have supported you."

"Edward. You are not the victim here. I did not tell you because you have been MIA in my life since that infamous day. I was not the one that created the distance between us." She was right. This was not her doing. I'm the one that created the tension.

"I have already explained that to you. I started dating Victoria again and she was not comfortable with the two of us being so close. You are the one who chose not to tell me about tonight or that that jackass broke your ribs." I said, still not wanting to accept that I was fully at fault.

"Edward I heard you, but that does not mean that I am the one that responsible for this. You gave me the best and most passionate kiss that I had ever had, and then stopped talking to me. You gave me hope and then abandoned me. I'm not the one who flaunted a relationship in your face. I haven't confided in you because you pulled away from me." I couldn't look at her. I couldn't see the hurt that I had caused.

"I guess I can see your point. I know I've have been distant, but that doesn't mean I don't miss you. The songs…Who chose them?" I asked hoping that she had chosen to sing our song.

"I chose the first one, because I could identify with it. Alice requested the second one." My hopes were dashed.

"Are you in love with Embry now?" I finally looked up from the table to her beautiful and slightly flushed face.

"Not that you have any right to ask me that, but no. I am in love with someone, but that person is not Embry. Embry is just a friend who has helped me heal from the loss of one or maybe two best friends. I can't do this right now Edward. If you'll excuse me, I need to go to my room." She left quickly and I realized that I had opened the flood gates of emotions for the both of us. Embry rushed in the door about twenty minutes later and shot me and angry glare and he ran in the direction of Bella's room. I knew it was time to make this right.

A/N I hope you guys enjoy the update we are getting to the end of what I have already written. I want to extend it however, so if you have any ideas etc. please review!


	11. Making it Right

**EPOV**

It was Monday and I had my English class with Bella. The only communication I had with Victoria since the concert was her letting me know that she dropped the class. It was no great loss, because her not being in that class made my life so much easier.

Since Friday night, I had been trying to decide a plan in order to slowly build my relationship with Bell to something different than it was before Christmas. I knew she did not have a class after our Fantastic Fiction class, so I worked a plan for us to try and meet to talk. I wrote her a letter in my first class of the day, and put it in my pocket. About thirty minutes later, I was walking into my second and last class of the day. Bella was the first one there and was already sitting in the front of the class reading for what looked to be her history classes.

She did not look up as I walked in the door and sat beside her. It was only after I cleared my throat that she looked at me.

"Hey Edward." She said in a meek tone. "You're not sitting in the back today." It was not a question so much as an observation.

"Nope. I'm through with those days." I said slowly reaching in my pocket and extracting the letter.

"Won't Victoria mind if you sit beside me and not her?" Bella asked as she marked her spot in the book she was reading and put it in her bag.

"I doubt she will since I broke up with her on Friday night. But even if I was still with her, I wouldn't let her be the reason for ignoring my best friend anymore." The smile that came on her face at that moment warmed me more than any blanket ever could.

The professor walked to the podium and I looked around realizing that I hadn't even heard the rest of the class come in. I quickly handed Bella the note asking her if she would do me the honor of taking a walk with her after class. She read the note and nodded her head before turning her attention to the professor. Class seemed to drag after that. I couldn't help but fidget in my seat and saw Bella's side glance before hearing her light chuckle. It was so nice to hear that sound again. Finally the professor dismissed class, and I stood up waiting on Bella to be ready to go.

"Do you want me to carry your bag?" I asked holding out my hand in anticipation.

"You don't have to do that Edward. I can carry it. Let's go." She said leading me out of the room and down the stairs. "So where are we walking today?" She said looking over to me.

"I thought we could walk towards the horseshoe. I really wanted a quiet place to talk with you." I said holding my breath as I waited for her answer.

She grabbed my hand and lead me toward the horseshoe. When we got there she sat on a bench and patted the seat next to her inviting me to sit down. I dropped my bag and sat beside her. It was still a cold day, but the sun was shining through the trees and provided some warmth.

"I hope you don't mind me asking Edward, but what brought all of this on?" She asked slowly placing her bag beside mine on the sidewalk.

"I have a lot of stuff to tell you and I need you to keep an open mind and give me a chance to fix some things." I said looking up from the sidewalk into her chocolate brown eyes.

"Go on." She said biting her lip. I groaned with desire before continuing.

"I fucked up Bella. I fucked up and I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am. You needed me to be there with you and for you and I backed away. I will never forgive myself for how I have handled the situation." I took a deep breath and continued to look in Bella's eyes. I could not tell what she was thinking. She was not the open book I used to find her to be. "Please tell me what you are thinking?" She opened her mouth to speak before closing it again and looking up at the trees. After a few moments, she began to speak.

"Why did you distance yourself Edward?" She asked looking back to me.

"I…well… Wow, this is so much harder than I thought it would be. I am and have been in love with you Bella. I distanced myself because when you and James broke up I became scared that if we were to be together. I would be your rebound. I did not want for you to be with me because I saved you from James." I said looking down at the ground bracing myself for rejection I felt certain was coming.

"You did not save me from a relationship with James. I saved me. I broke it off when I saw him cheating on me. You just saved me from the beating being worse than what it was." I looked up at her in shook before she continued. "I would never have considered you to be the rebound. You will always be so much more than that. I have loved you since that first day in class together." She looked at me and pulled her lip into her mouth again before trying to look away. My right hand reached out and caressed her cheek trying to slowly bring her face facing me again.

"You love me too?" I asked almost so softly that she may not have even heard.

"Yes." That was all I needed. I softly grabbed her face and pulled her to me before my lips crashed on hers. That familiar spark between us was there and I moaned at the feeling. Bella moaned back before slowly pulling back from me. "We can't just jump into this Edward. Do I love you? Yes, but you did leave me when I needed you most. We have to take baby steps." She looked away with a blush forming on her face.

"I will do anything to be with you Bella. So baby steps it will be then. How about the first baby step is explaining my actions and then apologizing for them?" I asked as she nodded her head in response. I dropped my hands from her face and place one arm around her shoulder.

"After the fight with James, I'm sure you noticed that I began to distance myself almost immediately. I told you that I was scared that I would be your rebound. I should have known that you would never let that happen. I'm sorry for not trusting you. I started dating Victoria again as an excuse to keep my distance from you. I had no feelings for her, but I knew that I couldn't keep my distance from you without some reason. She was a very poor reason, but I can't take it back now. I broke up with her before leaving the concert Friday. After you sang All I Ask of You, I could only hope that you sang it for me. When I found out that Alice requested it, I must confess, I lost a little hope that we would ever be together." I looked at the brick walkway and watched two squirrels playing beside a nearby tree.

"Just because Alice requested it, does not mean I was not singing it to you." A blush spread across her face. "I was singing it to you Edward. You are my Rahoul."

I squeezed her closer to me. "I'm glad you feel that way. I know I have no right to ask, but what happened the night you went to the hospital?"

"I had a panic attack. I really do not remember the attack itself. I remember getting anxious that Victoria was coming to Preston Dinning. Then I woke up in the hospital with Jasper looking over me. I was embarrassed. You know how the rest of the evening went." She looked to the trees. I knew that I had played a part in her panic attack, but that didn't lessen the pain now that she confirmed it.

"I'm sorry I put you in that position. I had no clue you would be so affected or I would not have brought her around." I rubbed my hand on her shoulder and reveled in the felling of having her in my arms again.

"Let's not focus on what we did wrong. We need to figure out where we go from here to repair the wounds." She said locking eyes with me. "It cannot be like it was. We have to start a different kind of relationship."

"Well, since you want baby steps, why don't we begin with a date Friday night?" I asked holding my breath while waiting for her answer.

"I think that's a great start, but you need to promise to try and work on one more thing if we are going to make this work."

"Anything Bella."

"You need to try and get along with Embry. I'm not expecting you to be best friends, but I need you to try. I'll have the same conversation with him." This would be harder than I thought.

"I will make every effort. Anything for you. So what are we going to tell everybody?"

"Hmmmm. Not sure what to tell them. I mean we aren't a full fledged couple yet. That is going to take some time. What do you think?" She said looking at me.

"Tough call. I mean correct me if I'm wrong, but we aren't really just friends either."

"No. You're right we are far more than that. How about telling them that we have no label and we will need time to figure out the rest?" She said cuddling into my side.

"I think that will work. Are there any do's or don'ts that I need to know?" I said feeling her shiver a little next to me.

"Lets just go with what feels good. If I need you to back off, I'll let you know." She began and grabbed my hand to pull me up with her. "Let's go back. I'm starting to get hungry and a little cold." We each grabbed our bags and headed back to Preston hand in hand. We walked into the lobby and caught the eyes of more than a few of our friends.

"Hey Guys!" Bella said beside me almost glowing with happiness. "Anybody want to run across the street with us and grab lunch?"

"I guess I'm game. What about you Embry?" Asked Emmett with a little smirk on his face.

"I'm good at the moment." Embry said playing his guitar.

"Are you sure? I'd be glad to grab you something while we are over there." I had to start trying to get along with him sometime. Might as well be immediately. Bella looked over to me and smiled.

"I'm good, but thanks for the offer." Embry said as he began tuning a string.

"Well then let's head out." Bella said as she dropped my hand and we walked out of the front of the building. Emmett wasted little time.

"So what's up with you two now? Cullen looks like a teenage boy that just got action in the back seat of his car." He said putting his arm around my Bella.

"We are seeing where life takes us." Bella vaguely answered leaving Emmett anything but satisfied.

"Does this mean Edward got his head out of his ass?"

"In a manner of speaking, that is exactly what this means. I apologized to Bella and she has chosen to give me a chance, but we are not necessarily a couple yet." I said trying not to trip over my words.

"Well, it is about damn time. I was going crazy with the two of you not talking." I rolled my eyes at Emmett and tried to change the subject as we waited in line to get food. We all got our lunch and returned to Preston. I found a spot on Zelda and Bella sat beside me. The whole room stared at us as we tried to eat our lunch. I felt like I was in an exhibit at the zoo instead of hanging with my friends. Bella acted like she did not notice so I tried to act normal.

"Embry, I haven't had a chance to tell you that your show was awesome the other night." I said taking a bite of my sandwich.

"Thanks Edward. Bella did a great job. That reminds me, Bella we have to meet with the band soon to discuss the next show. Are you free Friday?" Embry was looking straight at her. I glanced over to her and saw a soft blush enter her face.

"Actually, I have a date on Friday. What about Thursday?" I tried to hide my smile at the fact that she was turning Embry down for me, but it was harder than I thought.

"A date huh?" Embry's eye flashed over to me. "I'll just make sure that Thursday works for the guys. I'll let you know. So who's the guy?" Embry asked.

"That would be me." I said seeing every set of eyes in the room shift in my direction including Bella's.

"Wow. Well, that's a new development." Embry said focusing back on his guitar. I did not say anything the rest of my lunch. A few people slowly sneaked out to go to classes or to work on homework. As happy as I was to be with Bella, I needed a break from being everyone's entertainment.

"I'm going to run and work on some homework. Are you coming to dinner tonight?" I asked the angel on my right.

"It is Monday. I always eat dinner with Dr. Aro on Mondays. Will you come?" She asked pleading with her eyes.

"I will meet you here at five." I paced a kiss on the top of her head and headed up to my room to work on some schoolwork and plan our date.

"So you are going on a date with Bella huh?" Jasper was sitting in his desk chair awaiting my entrance.

"Yes." I said hanging up my jacket and walking to my desk while nervously awaiting my roommate's response.

"It is about damn time. Are you two a couple yet?"

"No, we are not a couple. She is giving me a chance. A chance that I have done nothing to deserve, but am so incredibly happy she is giving me." I said as I chose to lay on my bed instead of trying to focus on schoolwork.

"So what brought all of this on?" He said leaning back in his desk chair.

"I couldn't do it Jasper. I couldn't live my life without her. I was stupid for even trying. I was blind. I broke up with Victoria the night of the concert and I wrote Bella a note asking her to take a walk with me after our class. She agreed and I told her that I loved her and that I had made a huge mistake by distancing myself. She loves me too." My voice got soft at the end as I allowed myself a moment to full appreciate those words. Bella loved me too. I still had a chance to make this right.

"She's a better woman than most." He said thoughtfully.

"She is the best. This is my last chance though. I better not fuck it up." I said staring at the ceiling.

"Just what I was about to say. No pressure though buddy." He said turning back to his computer.

"Yeah thanks for that." I said closing my eyes and trying to plan our date.

**BPOV**

I had just sat in my desk and I heard someone clearing their throat. I looked up surprised when I saw Edward sitting beside me.

"Hey Edward." I could hear the shyness in my voice, which was odd since it was Edward, but I felt a little self conscious after my performance. "You're not sitting in the back today." I said stating the obvious.

"Nope. I'm through with those days." A smile reflexively appeared on my face.

"Won't Victoria mind if you sit beside me and not her?" I looked down at my book afraid of what his answer would be. Hoping that my Edward was coming back and this was not just a temporary change.

"I doubt she will since I broke up with her on Friday night. But even if I was still with her, I wouldn't let her be the reason for ignoring my best friend anymore." They were broken up. I sighed in relief. Wait. Did he say this occurred Friday night? Had he broken up with her after my performance? Had I been the reason?

Our professor came into the room and Edward dropped a note in my hand. I quickly opened it anxious about its contents.

_My Dearest Isabella,_

_I have so much to say to you, so much to atone for. Would you please do me the honor of taking a walk with me this afternoon? I know I do not deserve it, but I need a chance to make things right._

_Yours,_

_Edward_

My breath caught at the words. I turned to Edward and nodded, before attempting to return my attention to the professor. This was one lesson in which I did not participate. I couldn't focus on the lesson when I kept getting lost in what Edward could possible need to say. Is this his attempt to make amends with his best friend or was it something more? The hour seemed to drag by and I found myself looking at my watch repeatedly cursing the slowness with which time moved. Finally, the lecture drew to a close.

"Do you want me to carry your bag?" Edward asked as I got up.

"You don't have to do that Edward. I can carry it. Let's go." I was still trying to be independent. "So where are we walking today?" I looked up at him for the answer.

"I thought we could walk towards the horseshoe. I really wanted a quiet place to talk with you." I grabbed his hand and began our walk to the Horseshoe. Edward found a bench and sat down. I sat beside him but still left some space on the bench between us.

"I hope you don't mind me asking Edward, but what brought all of this on?" I was so nervous that this walk was just to repair our friendship. I knew what my answer would have to be.

"I have a lot of stuff to tell you and I need you to keep an open mind and give me a chance to fix some things." He looked up at me and nodded before responding.

"Go on." I bit my lip and could have sworn I heard a groan escape from him.

"I fucked up Bella. I fucked up and I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am. You needed me to be there with you and for you and I backed away. I will never forgive myself for how I have handled the situation." He took a deep breath and I sat there trying to figure out where this was going, but feeling that for once, Edward was having trouble expressing himself. "Please tell me what you are thinking?" I began to speak before I stopped myself to figure out what I could do to get the conversation to the point.

"Why did you distance yourself Edward?" I asked looking away from the trees and into his emerald eyes.

"I…well… Wow, this is so much harder than I thought it would be. I am and have been in love with you Bella. I distanced myself because when you and James broke up I became scared that if we were to be together. I would be your rebound. I did not want for you to be with me because I saved you from James." He did not look at me as he said this. He looked to the ground. He was bracing himself for rejection just as I used to just mere months ago.

"You did not save me from a relationship with James. I saved me. I broke it off when I saw him cheating on me. You just saved me from the beating being worse than what it was." He looked up at me in shock. He never thought I would be level headed enough to see that I had ultimately made that conclusion. "I would never have considered you to be the rebound. You will always be so much more than that. I have loved you since that first day in class together." I looked at him nervously as I pulled my lip back into my mouth. Edwards hand reached out caressing my cheek as he pulled me facing him again.

"You love me too?" I could hear the disbelief in his voice..

"Yes." That was all he needed. He softly grabbed my on both sides of my face and pulled me into a kiss. It was different than our last kiss. It was soft and patient. I heard the same groan he released earlier and moaned in contentment before pulling back. "We can't just jump into this Edward. Do I love you? Yes, but you did leave me when I needed you most. We have to take baby steps." Baby steps it would be. I knew he was unclear about what all that meant, but I couldn't jump into a serious relationship with him right away. I needed some time to fully trust my heart with him. The big step would be talking to Embry and Alice. They were the ones who were the most upset with Edward.

After we ate lunch, Edward went up to his room and I stayed in the lobby for a few minutes before returning to my room. My roommate walked in shortly after me and pushed me onto a bean bag before sitting cross legged across from me

"Spill," was all she said as I attempted to regain my composure and stop laughing.

"I walked into class and Edward was sitting beside me. Victoria was no where in sight." I took the note out of my pocket. "We talked for a minute and when the professor began the lecture he handed me this." I let Alice read the note for herself. As she read, I could see in her eyes that any frustration she had for Edward was melting away.

"What happened on the walk?" She requested.

"He told me that he screwed everything up between us. How he loved me, and was scared that he would be a rebound. He said he wanted us to be more than that." I said a smile creeping onto my face as I recalled his words. Alice sat there in shock and just stared at me.

"Are you going to say something Alice or are you just going to sit there?" I asked chuckling at her reaction.

"How can I stay mad at him now?" She asked as she smiled back at me.

"I know. He does make it difficult huh?" I said chuckling.

"Where do you guys stand then?"

"We are going on a date on Friday, but have no title at the moment. I can't just be friends with him, but I need some time to trust him again." I folded the note back and put it in the same box where Jake's note now resided.

"That makes sense. It is nice to know that I was not going crazy, and he did have feelings for you all this time. OH MY GOD!" She suddenly screamed as realization spread on her face.

"What Alice?" I tried to stay calm, but she had made me a little nervous.

"Just imagine how the poor guy felt when Jake was here. I bet he was a mess seeing another guy be so close to you and kissing you." I had not thought of that. It had to be rough for him to see me with Jake or James if he felt that way all along.

"I hadn't though about it that way Al. Poor Edward. Shit. I put that poor boy through hell without even realizing it." I suddenly felt like the worst person in the world. I got up and crawled into my bed. I was pouting.

"Bella?" I didn't answer her; I just stared at the ceiling. "Bella! Listen to me. It was not your fault. You did not truly know how he felt. It is not like you were doing anything to hurt him on purpose. It's no one's fault." She said walking to the edge of my loft and standing on my chair.

"Yeah I guess." I heard a knock on the door and jumped in surprise. Alice went and answered the door. Embry was leaning against the frame.

"Hey Al, is Bella here?" He asked looked past Alice at the bean bags.

"Look up." Alice said as she point to my loft causing Embry to look up and meet my eyes.

"What's with the pouting? Shouldn't you be happy?" He said taking Alice's vacated spot on my chair.

"Em, I can't believe I treated Edward like that for so long." I said before burying my face in my pillow.

"Alice, will you translate for Bella's crazy talk?" He looked over to Alice who had gone to sit in front of her computer.

"Um. That may be my fault. She was telling me about Edward and how he talked with Bella and admitted his feelings. I might have brought up how he must have felt watching her around Jake when he was here." She said quietly.

"Sit up Bella. We need to talk." He said as I obeyed his command.

"First of all, that is no one's fault. You couldn't control Jacob and Edward had not made his feelings known so it was not like you had any clue it would be bothering him. I bet Edward wouldn't want you to blame yourself for that. If you don't believe me, then ask him. Second, Edward told you how he felt?" Embry asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah. We went for a walk today after class. He apologized and told me that he has loved me for a long time." I said feeling the blood rush to my cheeks.

"Well, I'm glad he finally told you. Don't focus on the past then. Focus on the Future."

"You're right. I actually need to talk to you about Edward. I need…." Embry put his hand up to stop me.

"I'll be on my best behavior and try to be nice to him. I can't say I'll be perfect, but I'll try. Like I've said before, my biggest problem was with how he was treating you." He said moving the hair out of my eyes.

"Thank you. I really want you two to get along." I bite my lip.

"We will figure it all out. I have to run. I'll let you know about practice." He jumped off of the chair and sauntered out of the room.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I did not mean to upset you." Alice said getting up and coming back over to me.

"You did not do anything wrong. I don't want you to feel bad Alice. I just hate that my past is part of the reason why Edward and I weren't together sooner. Please don't feel bad. I can't have my pixie being down in the dumps." I got up off my loft and heard a gentle knock on the door frame. I looked up to see Edward at my door. I ran and jumped in his arms. The baby steps thing was my idea right?

"Well, I'm glad you seem so happy to see me." He said pulled away slightly but keeping one arm wrapped around my waist. He grabbed my chin in his hand gently and brought my face up to his. "What's wrong Bella?" He inquired looking in my eyes.

"I was just thinking how bad you must have felt when Jacob was here and he kissed me." I looked into his sparking emerald eyes.

"Bella, that is part of the past that led me to you. Did I hate that someone else got to kiss you? Hell yes. Do I regret anything? No. It led us to where we are. Being with you now, is all I really care about." He said kissing my forehead. I reached up to kiss him back. "How about we head out to dinner?" He said grabbing my hand and pulling me gently towards the door. Alice was right behind us as we walked out to the lobby hand in hand. We walked to the lobby and Edward opened the door for us to enter. Everyone looked up at us as we entered the room. I knew I should feel self conscious, but what I really wanted to do was show off my Edward.

"Hey Bella. How are you feeling?" Dr. Aro asked as I walked a little further into the lobby.

"I'm doing much better." I said as we both were walking closer to the door. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing well. Edward are you joining us tonight or do you have a guest tonight?" Edward cringed briefly before replying.

"I'll be joining you guys tonight." He answered, grabbing my hand and walking towards the door with the group. "And I have no place I'd rather be." He bent down and whispered in my ear. It was surreal how quickly Edward and I got over the awkwardness caused by our separation. We still had a lot of things we needed to talk about, but now we were focusing on being together. Dinner was a simple affair. We all sat and talked as we ate and there was no tension. Everyone was all ease and friendliness. We walked back to Preston with Jasper and Alice and stopped in the lobby.

"Well, Jasper and I are going to go for a walk. Where are you two headed?" Edward looked to me for direction.

"We're going to our room Alice. I'll see you later. Come on Edward." I grabbed his hand and pulled us to my room. We walked in a comfortable silence until we reached our destination. "I thought we may use this time alone to catch up. I think we both probably missed a lot that went on." I sat on one of the beanbags as he sat in front of me.

"That's probably not a bad idea. Who is going to start?" He asked playing with his high school ring on his finger.

"I can, I suppose." I sat crossed legged and reached for the necklace Jake had made me. "I am sure that Jasper has told you some of what was going on. I had some difficulty handling the loss of both you and Jacob. I handled it, but most likely not in a way that you would have approved. I did eat, but only when I was hungry, which honestly was not very often. I cannot tell you how many times after we kissed that day that I picked up the phone to call Jacob only to remember that he wasn't there anymore. I could tell the distance between us in the mall, and was petrified that the kiss may not have meant as much to you." I said sighing and trying to avoid looking into the emerald pools, not because I wasn't confidant, but because I did not wish to see them in pain. He remained silent before I continued. "Everyone else tried to be there for me, but no one was you. I confided a lot in Embry, because he was not close to you. It just did not feel right confiding in Alice, Jasper, Emmett or Rosalie. I did not want them to think ill of you because of me. I turned to Embry. He was there to listen and support me, just you have done for me in the past." I smiled remembering all of the times James had hurt me and Edward had been right there.

"I'm sorry for not being there Bella. I wanted to be." He said grabbing my hand and giving a soft squeeze.

"I know that now Edward, but it was just really shitty timing. I felt as though you and Jacob were both gone. I tried to handle everything as well as I could, but a lot of stuff piled on me at once. Embry and the rest of our friends helped me learn how to cope in healthier ways. I focused on class and music. Part of me thinks the distance between us was a blessing in disguise. I learned how to deal without you. I became stronger. I needed that."

"I'm glad you are stronger. Although you were always strong, you just did not know it yet. Can I ask you a question?" He asked looking in my eyes.

"Anything." I stated squeezing his hand.

"Are you pressing charges against James?' He looked away while asking me.

"Not at this time. I have a lot on my mind still, I'm not sure that I am ready to deal with a court battle."

"Fair enough. If you do decide to press charges, just know that I will support you in any way I can. I will not pressure you though." He said running his hand through his copper hair before looking back at me.

I reached out and caressed his cheek. "I really appreciate that, even though I know you want me to press charges. I can see it in your eyes. Thank you for not pushing the issue though. You turn?" I said.

"I've already told you about the panic factor that went into my decision to maintain a distance between us. I don't think I made one thing clear though. Victoria was nothing to me. She would kiss me and I would cringe knowing that it wasn't you. It felt unnatural. Nothing happened more than making out with her. I only let it get that far because my jealousy took over." He said looking up at me under in eyebrows.

"What were you jealous of?" I said ringing my hands together. I was nervous about this conversation.

"Embry." He almost whispered his response. "I know now I had no reason to be, but the closeness between you two really made me jealous."

"I can understand that, but I hope you know now that you have no reason to be jealous. I've only wanted you for a long time now." His lips crashed against mine as we fell the rest of the way onto the bean bags. He ran his tongue on my bottom lip and I moaned as I allowed him entrance. Would I ever get over how good he felt against me? He pulled away for breath but neither of us attempted to move from our lying position. He was holding himself over me.

"Bella, I'm having trouble controlling myself now that I know you love me too. You are going to need to tell me if I go to fast. I can't be trusted to set the boundaries." He said running his nose along my jaw.

"What if I don't want boundaries between us anymore Edward?" I said winding my fingers through his hair.

"Once I am sure that is the case, then all boundaries will be torn down. I love you My Bella." He laid his head on my chest as we lay there together in silence.

I hope you guys like the updates. Sorry it took a while to get it posted. Life is crazy right now. Updates will be slower coming as I have already posted all of the pre written chapters. I love reviews and would also welcome any input on where you want to see the story go. Thanks.


	12. Moving Forward

****Hey Guys! Sorry for the delay on this. I had a death in the family and between that and work, life got in the way. Sorry!

Stephanie Meyer owns all things TWILIGHT ****

BPOV

The rest of the week consisted of homework, classes, rehearsal, and Edward. Each night, we would discuss what went on during our time apart. Things were slowly feeling comfortable again. I began feeling much like I had before Christmas except happier because I could be with him with no obstacles in the way. Without James in the picture and with me coming to terms with Jake's death, I was able to fully give my heart to Edward.

The band had decided to add some more songs for me to sing. I had most of them memorized and enjoyed that most were classics that I had always loved. Every time I met with the band, I became more and more comfortable. They were very supportive and were becoming good friends very quickly.

Friday came quicker than I had expected. I got up and decided to eat breakfast with Jasper, who also had no classes. We were hanging out in the lobby at about eleven in the morning, when a guy came in carrying a large bouquet of white calla lilies and red roses. Living in a residence hall, it was not uncommon for people to receive flowers on birthdays or Valentine's Day. I smiled as I always did whenever this occurred and continued talking to Jasper.

"So where is Edward taking me tonight?" I asked trying to contain my excitement and nervousness over my first official date with Edward.

"Can't tell you that Darlin. You know that." Jasper replied as he began flipping through his magazine. "Edward made me swear to keep the secret under penalty of death. I'm not going to ruin this for either of you."

"Bella." I looked up to see who had called my name and saw Embry at the front desk just going on his shift.

"Embry! Good morning." I said.

"These are for you, Bella.' He said as he gestured to the flowers.

"For me?" I said not attempting to hide the shock. I looked to Jasper who proceeded to bury his face in his magazine, before I got up and walked towards the desk.

I picked up the flowers and after returning to my seat I found the card.

_My Dearest Bella,_

_ A year ago today at almost this exact time, we were partnered in a group for our class project. It was the beginning of the most important partnership in my life. I cannot wait to see you tonight. Alice will help you get ready and I'll see you around 6. _

_ Yours Eternally,_

_ Edward_

I could not believe that he remembered down to the day and almost minutes that we really met. I could feel the heat in my cheeks and wiped a happy tear from my eye. I looked up to see both Jasper and Embry staring intently at me. I felt the blush return to my cheeks.

"What?" I asked trying not to feel self conscious.

"Well, I'm trying to figure out if those are happy tears or if I need to hurt someone." Embry said from his position behind the desk.

"You don't need to hurt anyone. They are from Edward. Apparently, we actually met each other a year ago today." I said as my lips slowly turned up in a smile.

"He kept track of that? He is a lovesick puppy." Embry said smiling before turning to sign someone into the dorm.

I sat back on Zelda and stared at my flowers for I don't know how long before Jasper began to engage me in conversation. Around noon, I saw my Pixie of a roommate enter the lobby.

"Hey Alice!" I exclaimed more upbeat than I am sure I have sounded in a long time.

"Hey Bella. Whose flowers?" She asked sitting next to Jasper and wrapping her arms around him.

"Mine." I said bracing myself.

"OH MY GOD BELLA! WHO SENT THEM? THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL!" She yelled jumping up and down on the couch next to Jasper who was shaking his head and laughing quietly.

When she finally composed herself to my satisfaction, I answered her. "Edward sent them to me because today is the anniversary of the first day that we met." I said with another happy tear threatening to fall down my cheek.

"That is so sweet. Why don't you ever do anything like that for me Jasper?" She asked with an irritated tone to her voice.

"Not everyone is blessed with Edward's memory my darling." He said kissing Alice's cheek and putting his arm around her.

"Have you guys eaten lunch yet? If not, we need to move it because I have to start getting Bella ready for her date tonight." She said as I witnessed a sly smile appear on her face.

"How many hours are you planning for this to take Alice?" I asked sarcastically.

"I'm not sure Bella, but Rosalie will help us so no more then three." She replied with a serious response. I stifled my groan and walked over to get lunch leaving my flowers at the desk with Embry for safe keeping. I was allowed a quick 20 minutes for lunch before Alice drug me to our room.

"Where should I put my flowers?" I asked Alice as I stood in the doorway looking around.

"Put them on your dresser so you can see them from your bed." She said as she walked over to my closet and began trying to find something suitable for me to wear.

"Umm Bella?" She asked meekly as I was putting my flowers down. "How far do you think Edward and you will get tonight?"

"What do you mean Alice?" I asked.

"She means are you and Edward going to do the horizontal tango." Rosalie exclaimed as she entered the room through the bathroom door.

"Oh," I said as I began to feel the familiar burn in my cheeks. "I have not really thought about it. Why?"

"Because if you think it is a possibility, then you'll want to wear really good underwear." Rosalie said in a matter of fact tone.

"Oh. I guess I could wear the outfit that I wore when I was Christine."

"Damn. Ok Alice if she is wearing that then it would be best to have her in a dress." Rosalie and Alice huddled together like they were football players going for a championship win.

"This is the prefect choice." Alice said triumphantly holding up a black dress that had long sleeves and a plunging neckline.

I nodded and took my underwear and dress into the bathroom to take a shower and change. I took a quick shower trying to not think about the image of Edward on top of me. I was excited by the prospect that of Edward and I making love, but scared because I had never done it before. I knew there would be no pressure from Edward, but I truly wanted him. The thing that I was most worried about is that I would be bad at it. I didn't want Edward to be disappointed by my lack of experience.

I walked back out to Alice's whistles and Rosalie's cat calls. I walked over and picked up my phone before sitting down and letting the hair and makeup session begin. I looked at my phone and saw a text notification. I looked at the text and began texting him back.

_I hope you liked the flowers. Miss you! –E_

_ I loved my flowers! I have never gotten any before Miss you too.-B_

_ Never? Well, you just haven't been treated right. - E_

_ Never. You are spoiling me.-B_

_ You deserve it love. Only a couple more hours. –E_

_ I'm counting the seconds. - B_

I put the phone down as Alice and Rosalie were fussing at me to pay attention. I could feel my breathing speed up as I looked at the clock to see that I had about an hour and a half. The thing was that this was my first real date. I was never taken out by James. We mainly just hung around his house are at friends houses.

"What's got you nervous Bella?" Rosalie said as she released the curling iron and a curl fell onto my shoulder.

"I've never been on a date before." I said as I looked over at my flowers and focused on their beauty. "I'm not sure what to do. I don't want him to be disappointed by me."

"Oh Bella, Edward could never be disappointed by you. He adores you and this being an actual date when we aren't all up in your business should not make you feel awkward."

"She's right Bella. It is just you and Edward. There is no need to feel nervous." Alice was rubbing my arm as Rosalie went to her room real quick before coming back to work on my hair. They spent the rest of the time soothing me while finishing the makeover.

I looked in the mirror and could not believe what I was seeing. I looked pretty good. I had never felt pretty, but I felt that maybe I was with a little effort. I was smiling and hugging Rosalie thanking her when I heard a knock at the door. I nodded at Alice and walked toward the door. When I opened the door, I saw the most handsome man I'd ever met.

"You look stunning my Bella. Are you ready for our date?" Alice was right. There was no reason to panic. I exhaled a breath I hadn't realized that I was holding and nodded. He grabbed my hand and guided me out of the door and down the hall.

"Ok Bella. The first surprise is that we are not leaving Preston immediately. Will you follow me?"

"Anywhere Edward," I said beginning to feel the heat in my cheeks by my ready admission. I followed Edward to the other side of the building towards the kitchen. Something smelled heavenly. We walked into the small kitchen and I was met by a table set perfectly. I looked to Edward as he closed the door and pulled out a chair for me.

"I had been trying to come up with a place to take you all week. Everywhere I thought of was either not good enough for you or we have been there so many times that I wanted to do something different. I thought that I would cook for you instead."

"Nobody has ever cooked for me before except my mother, and her cooking doesn't look nearly this delicious." I said as I took my seat and he pushed in my chair.

"On the menu tonight my dear is filet mignon with sautéed asparagus and parmesan risotto. I hope you like everything. I haven't been able to cook this in a long time." He said taking his own seat.

"I did not even know you cooked." I took my knife and fork and cut into the tender filet. I moaned as I began to chew the first bite. "Oh Edward it is heavenly. How long have you been cooking?"

"My mother, Esme, began teaching me in middle school. I love to cook, but it really is not easy to do here. Have I mentioned that you look absolutely breathtaking, Bella?"

"Not in those exact words, but yes you have. Thank you. I must admit I found myself missing you today."

"I'm sorry Bella. I just wanted to get everything perfect for you. I did not mean to make you upset." He said putting his knife and fork down and rubbing the back of my hand with his.

"I wasn't upset Edward. I just missed you. I loved my flowers." I said looking at my food and feeling a blush come to my cheeks.

"I'm very glad. You deserve to be spoiled some you know? I cannot believe no man has ever gotten you flowers before."

"I can't believe that you remembered the anniversary of the day we meet. Jasper is in hot water because of you." I felt a smile enter my face at the idea that someone was jealous of the way I was being treated for once.

"Bella, look at me because I need to know you hear me when I tell you this." I took a bite of my food and placed my fork down giving Edward my full attention. "I remembered because that was the day I met the woman I truly believe was made for me. I will never forget that day. I just hope I can make up for not telling you that then."

I felt a tear stream down my face. "Stop apologizing please. We both made mistakes, what's important is that we are here together now and we stopped hiding from each other." I smiled at him as I resumed eating my fabulous meal.

"Let me help you clean up?" I asked as we finished eating.

"No such thing love. Tonight is about you, but you can keep me company while I wash these last couple of things and then I can take you out and show you off." He grabbed my plate along with his and walked over to the sink, rolling his sleeves up while he waited on the water to heat up.

"Where are we going tonight Edward?" I said walking up behind him and wrapping my arms around his waist. He turned around in my arms with his crooked smile on his face before he answered me.

"It's a surprise, but I promise you will like it." He kissed my nose before turning around to finish the dishes. "Are you okay to walk tonight love? I promise it is not far."

"A walk sounds great, as long as you keep me warm." I said with my blush entering my face again.

"I think that can be arranged." He said looking over at me and winking.

After he finished cleaning the dishes, we walked down Greene Street where Preston is located towards the student parking area. I cuddled into Edward's side as I tried to keep warm. We kept walking until we got to the Koger Center. Edward Lead us to the door where he handed them our tickets and got our programs. I looked at the program and squealed.

"You brought me to see Phantom of the Opera?" I nearly screamed.

"I brought you to see Phantom of the Opera." Edward said as his crooked grin came on his face again. "Come on love. Let's go find our seats." He placed his hand on the small of my back and lead me to where our seats were. Once we sat down I shrugged out of my coat and Edward grabbed my hand. "You excited?"

"Oh Edward. I'm thrilled. I did not even know it was in town. I guess I've been in my own little world. How did you get tickets on such short notice?" I asked as a shadowed expression came over his face.

"Well, I've had the tickets since around the time that Jesse came to visit. I was going to give them to you for Christmas, but …" He didn't say the rest.

"I love them. Thank you." My head feel to his shoulder and he placed his finger under my shin and pulled me toward him before kissing me. "I'm glad you like it. Merry belated Christmas."

"You know I have had your gift in my room since we got back." I said looking up at him.

"Bella, you gave me the best present by giving me a chance to be with you." I kissed him again before the lights dimmed and the show began. It was terrific. I had never had the chance to see a professional showing of it. I had only seen amateur productions.

"Did you enjoy it Bella?" Edward asked as we walked back towards Preston. The chill in the air had me clinging closer to him for warmth.

"It was perfect Edward. I couldn't help but smile when they sang "All I Ask of You. It feels like that is our song."

"I thought they did a pretty good job, but your version will always hold a special place in my heart." He placed hi arm around me and pulled me to him.

"Well, I'll probably be singing it again tomorrow at my show if Alice has her way, which she always does."

"What time is your show tomorrow night?" His voice sounded strained.

"I go on at nine. Is something wrong?"

"I might be late love. I have to meet my group for my Anthropology project at eight to go over our project that's due on Monday and that was the only time everyone could meet. I'll be there right after. I promise."

"That's cool Edward. I won't really perform much until 9:30 anyway." We got to Preston and stood on the porch for a minute.

"I don't want to go in there." I said looking up at him.

"Why not?" Edward looked at me with a worried expression.

"I don't want to say goodnight to you Edward. I want to stay with you tonight." I said as I felt a blush emerge on my face, though I was not ashamed by my admission.

"What if I told you that Jasper and Alice are staying at her parent's house tonight, and we could go into either of our rooms with no disturbance and you would not need to leave my side the rest of the night?" He said looked down at me as his eyes darkened with need.

"I'd ask, what are we still doing in here?" That was all the encouragement he needed. He grabbed my hand and we entered Preston in a flurry of movement. A few people called our names out in the lobby. We just ignored them and headed up to Edward's room. He unlocked the door quickly before we could get accosted by any of our friends. The door was unlocked, opened, and closed with us inside before I knew it. I flung myself at Edward and our lips crashed together. I pushed Edward to the bed and he sat down as I climbed onto his lap straddling him. We continued to make out for several minutes before he pulled back sounding short of breath.

"Bella not that I'm complaining, but don't you think this is a little fast?'

"Edward, this has been a year in the making. I don't think it's fast at all do you?" He chuckled before responding. "I guess you are right about that, but Bella I just want to make sure we're both in the same place." He said caressing my cheek with his hand.

"Do you not want me Edward?" He looked at me like I had shattered his world.

"I have wanted you for longer than you know Bella, but as I believe this would be your first time, I want to make sure you are ready. This is not something I want you to regret Bella."

"Would it ease your mind to know that had I not been very drunk and in a relationship this is exactly how I would have ended the Halloween party at Jasper's?" I laughed at the startled look on his face.

"I almost told you that night you know. I almost told you that I love you." He said as he rubbed the small of my back.

"I think I knew that, but I don't want you to tell me Edward I want you to show me." He lifted me off his lap and put me on the side of him on the bed.

"I just don't want you to jump into this lightly." I heard the groan of frustration before I realized that I had emitted it. I jumped off the bed and ripped my dress over my head seeing Edward's eyes darken as he looked over my body.

"If I had any doubts, would I be wearing this?" I said moving towards him like a mountain lion towards its prey.

"I certainly hope not." He said before I crawled onto his lap once again resuming our prior position. "I love you, Isabella." He said before his lips crashed to mine.

**EPOS**

I woke up the next morning to the sun coming in through the blinds and Bella's naked body being wrapped around me. I couldn't stop the smile that came to my face if I wanted to. Last night was perfect. But then again everyday was perfect as long as Bella and I were together and not hiding from our true feelings. I knew I lost control last night when I saw the same outfit as she wore on Halloween without as much coverage. She assured me she was ready, and I had to take her word for that.

"Good Morning." Bella said as she stretched and pulled the covers tighter over her blushing at the way we were laying.

"I'd say it's the best morning I've ever had." I said pulling her closer to me.

"You know that the last time I was in your bed was after the trip to the hospital." As soon as she said that, I felt myself tense up. "Relax Edward. I'm fine."

"I could go the rest of my life and I will never forget that night." I said kissing the top of her head.

"I vaguely remember someone caressing my cheek as I lay here that night. I wonder who that could have been." She said looking up at me with her chin on my chest.

"It may have been me. You were awake?"

"I was awake. I was exhausted, but somehow I was still conscious. I was so confused that night."

"I was worried sick. I could not calm down until I saw you. When I did get to see you, you looked so weak and helpless. The others rightfully blamed me and I had to fight like hell to get to help you, but I couldn't let you out of my sight. My dad tried desperately to calm me down the whole time you were gone. No one would tell me where they took you."

"I love you Edward, but I can't say that I blame them. I will say that I was well taken care of. You know Jasper and Embry were my heroes that night."

"Can we talk about something else?" I ran my fingers through her hair.

"Why do we have to talk at all?" She asked as her lips collided with mine and we made love again.

"We better get up Bella. I have no clue when our roommates will be back." She was back to her favorite place lying beside me with her head on my chest.

"I guess you're right. I wish we could stay in our bubble longer. Oh shit!" She said as she threw the covers over her head.

"What's that about?" I said chuckling as she slowly emerged from the blankets.

"I have to put on my dress and do a walk of shame to my room."

"If it is really so bad that somebody may know that we had sex, you could wear some of my clothes and run downstairs."

"I'll be fine. I hope no one is up this early anyway. I'm going to run downstairs and shower. Will you come to the room in about thirty minutes so we can grab breakfast?" She said as she slowly got up and began getting dressed.

"I'll be there as quick as I can love. I love you Bella."

"I love you too. Ouch." She said as she started to walk towards the door.

"What's wrong love? Did I hurt you?" I jumped out of bed and rushed over to her.

"Calm down Edward. I am just a little sore, which is to be expected after you first time. I'm fine. I'll see you in a few minutes." She leaned up and kissed me before exiting the room. We finally quit hiding from one another, and I could not be happier. I could be myself with her now. I didn't have to rein in my feelings for her. I could not help but to feel that I was in heaven.


	13. The Show

***Everything Twilight is owned by Stephanie Meyer. I just use her characters for my own story. I hope everyone is enjoying. I welcome any thoughts you have as to where you would like to see the story go.***

**BPOV**

I walked to my room ignoring the soreness from the previous night's activities. I smiled reliving the pleasure I had never before experienced. I opened the door and was immediately meet with four sets of eyes boring a hole into me.

"Do you guys seriously have nothing better to do this early on a Saturday than get up and wait for me?" I asked as I walked into the room and put my purse on my desk.

"Rosalie woke me up, and then curiosity got the better of me. Did our little Bella get deflowered last night?" I felt the blush arise on my cheeks as I saw Rosalie hit Emmett.

"Do you have to be so crass about everything Emmett? I have no clue how I deal with you day in and day out." Rosalie said stomping her foot in the process.

"We both know why Rosie.' Emmett said winking at her. "Jazz why don't we let these ladies talk and got make sure Edward is awake. He said as both guys walked to the door. Once they were out and the door was closed, I stripped of the dress and proceeded to get ready to shower while both of my best friends sat in silence staring at me.

"What?' I asked when I had enough of them staring at me.

"How was it?" Rosalie said as a smirk grew across her face.

"I can't believe you both woke up early to accost me and try to get information out of me." I said staring at them with my arms crossed.

"Well, believe it baby because here we stand. So you might as well tell us now and prevent everyone the time delay in having to drag it out. I'm getting hungry." Alice said.

I sighed before answering her. "It was perfect. That is all I am saying." I walked toward the bathroom and got into the shower before I heard the door open.

"Really Alice?"

"That was a very unsatisfactory answer Bella. How do you expect us to just let it lie?" Rosalie said. I looked around the curtain to see them both staring at me.

"I am not one to talk about stuff like that. Why do you care so much?" I said closing the curtain again and beginning to shampoo my hair.

"Because we are nosy bitches." Alice said tapping her foot. "We want details! Please!"

"I'll give you more details, but I'm not telling you everything. He made me dinner and we ate here in Preston. It was a perfect meal. I did not know that he could cook so well. Then he took me to see Phantom of the Opera. You know the feelings I have for that musical. The lyrics and music touch me so. It was a perfect date. I told him I did not want it to end. He told me that it did not have to and we went to his room. When we got to his room, we attacked each other. He checked to make sure I was ready. I basically straddled him and told him that I had been ready to be with him for a long time. He was slow and gentle and it was perfect."

"Oh Bella. I'm so glad everything worked out. We all know how much you two belong with one another. I knew it would happen someday." Alice said sounding like she could begin crying tears of joy at any minute.

"We are just really excited for you Bella." Rosalie said. "We weren't trying to make you uncomfortable, but we also want you to know that you can talk to us."

I turned off the shower and grabbed my towel drying off as much as possible while still in the stall. "Thank you girls. I'm sorry if I was too closed off. I'm just not used to talking about things like that." I wrapped the towel around my torso before stepping out of the stall. "You want to help me get ready? I have a breakfast date with my man." I said with a smirk.

"Of course. You have a show tonight too right?" I nodded and went into the room to finish changing. We spent about twenty minutes talking about our dates the previous night and getting ready. When we all were ready to grab breakfast, I gave Edward a call.

"Please tell me you are ready for breakfast love, because these guys are driving me up the wall." Edward answered with a pleading tone.

"Yes, we are ready. Where are you?" I asked laughing at his desperation and wondering if the girls had gone easy on me.

"In front of your door." He said as I heard a knock on the door. I hung up the phone and ran to open the door. As I flung the door open, Edward rushed in the room and wrapped me in his arms.

"I hated watching you leave this morning." He whispered in my ear.

"I hated leaving. Can we go get food? I'm starving." He pulled back but grabbed my hand in his as all four of us left the room to head out to the lobby where Jasper and Emmett were waiting. We walked to the student union to get food and then returned to Preston to eat.

"Has anyone seen Embry this morning?" I asked cutting my biscuits and gravy.

"Not yet." Emmett said in between his giant bites of steak biscuit.

"Oh ok. I just wanted to see if he and Britt have decided the order of the songs tonight. Edward is going to be late. I just hope you don't miss my favorite songs." I said looking at Edward.

"I'll get there as quick as I can. Hopefully, my group isn't full of morons."

"Why are you going to be late to Bella's show?" Jasper asked Edward as Emmett threw pieces of napkin at him.

"I have to meet with a project group tonight. It was the only time that we could all get together. How are you going to get there love?"

"Well, I guess that I could drive." I said taking a bite of breakfast.

"Yeah, but then I can't bring you home with me afterward." He replied with his crooked smile pointed in my direction.

"I'll take her Edward. I think it'd be cool to hang out before the show. I can be your groupie Bella." Emmett said with a goofy grin on his face.

"That's perfect Emmett. You can keep the guys off of her." I just looked back and forth between them wondering when they forgot I was in the room.

"Are you really worried about any other guys Edward," I asked trying to sound serious.

"If you look as good as you did last night, then hell yes I am worried. I am smart enough never to feel too secure in our relationship, love. I don't think I could survive losing you." He pulled me into a hug and I tried to hide the blush on my face.

"I don't know if I can handle them being this sweet. I might throw up." Emmett said as Rosalie slapped the back of his head. "Ouch. Come on Rosie, you had to be thinking that too."

"What's up guys?" Embry asked walking into Preston from Greene Street.

"Hey Em. Aren't those the clothes you were wearing yesterday?" I asked while trying to clean up my plate.

"That would be an astute observation and I am so glad you pointed that out." He retorted as he rolled his eyes. "You weren't the only one with a date last night." He continued while wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh shit. Embry got laid!" Emmett yelled as he stood up to give Embry a high five.

"Is she coming to the show tonight?' Edward asked grabbing our plates and placing them in the trash can.

"She is not coming tonight. She has to work, but Brit is coming to pick me up at about 8 to go get everything set. Do you need a ride Bella?" He said taking a seat on the floor by across the coffee table from me.

"Nope, Emmett's going to bring me. Apparently, I need a bodyguard now." I said while throwing an elbow into Edward's side.

"Yeah she's got this crazy jealous boyfriend that can't stand to let her go out without a close friend around to make sure she is safe." He replied and wrapped me in his arms and kissed my temple.

"Somehow I think she'll be okay with it." Embry said laughing.

"So we know the order yet?" I asked trying not to notice Edward nibbling on my ear.

"Britt's working it out now. It's a good thing we all know the songs by heart. We aren't very organized this time." He said yawning.

"We'll pull it through. Go get a nap. You are no use to us if you fall asleep at the microphone." I chuckled at him yawing as I said this.

"Point taken. See you guys later." He said as he got up and walked to his room.

"I have some work I want to do before tonight. I better go get started. Do you want to come with me?"

"Bella, if I come with you right now, I won't get any work done. Why don't I head up to my room and you call when you are finished and want to hang out." I felt the pout entering my face, but knew that he was right.

"Ok. I guess you're right. See you soon." I kissed him deeply before getting up and walking to my room. I sat there the rest of the day working on reading and a paper for my history class. I did not even realize how much time had gone by until I heard my phone ring.

"Oh shit Edward. I'm sorry I got caught up in my history paper."

"Slow down babe. It's fine. I just wanted to see if you wanted to grab some dinner before I have to meet with my group." I looked at the clock and saw that it was already five o'clock.

"That sounds perfect. Do you know why I have not been accosted by my pixie of a roommate yet?" I said throwing some shoes on.

"I convinced her that you needed to eat first, but she was heading your way. Care to meet me in the lobby?"

"I'll be right there." I grabbed my coats and keys and ran out the door making sure it was locked behind me. I rushed to the lobby and did not stop to take a breath until I had entered the lobby and ran headlong into Edward.

"What's the big hurry love?" He said placing a piece of hair behind my ear.

"I didn't want everyone waiting on me." I said biting my lip and trying not to get lost in his eyes. Neither of us had time for what I was wanting to do to him.

"Bella, look at your hair! Let's go eat and fast. I have to tame that rat's nest before the show." Alice said stomping out of the front door and into the brisk February night.

"Is it that bad?" I asked Edward as he slid his arm around my waist and led me outside following Alice's trail.

"Good and bad are relative terms my dear. You look like you have been running your hands through you hair a lot. It would look a lot sexier if I had cause d it to look that way." That familiar smirk was on his face as a rolled my eyes and continued walking to the cafeteria. "Rough paper?"

"Yeah. I'll get it done, but I'm so ready to be done with these history classes. I like my English classes better." Dinner went faster than I would have preferred. The closer we got to the show, the sooner I would have to be separated from Edward from the evening. I wanted him at the show.

Alice gave me thirty minutes for dinner before pulling me to my room to get ready for the show. This is where being the only chick in the band really gets annoying. The guys can just show up and maybe spend ten minutes getting ready, but I have to sit in the make up chair for at least an hour while the Pixie works her magic. Edward came with us to hang out before he left to meet his group at the library, which was right across the street from Preston.

"Ok Bella Go put this on while I get everything we'll need laid out." Alice handed me my outfit and started setting up the make up and turning on the curling iron. I went into the bathroom and changed into the outfit, looking at the outfit in the mirror before going out into the room. She had chosen a short plaid skirt that looked like something a Catholic school girl might wear. There was a long sleeve t-shirt, and a Beatles shirt to wear over that. The ensemble was made complete by fishnets and calf length black leather boots.

I sighed and walked into the room meeting Edward's eyes before anything else. I was mesmerized as the emerald pools in his eyes darkened with lust. I was sure that Embry and the guys could handle the show without me. I was brought out of my trance by my roommate.

"You look perfect." She said as she grabbed me by my shoulder and pushed me into the chair.

"Now I know why I wanted Emmett to take you tonight. I'll have to make sure he makes all guys keep their distance." I tried not to look in his direction and anger the Pixie by moving, but the closer we got to the show, the more I wanted him to be there for all of it.

"Relax Edward. We wouldn't let anyone steal your girl. It took you two too long to get together." She continued working without pause until it was 7:45.

"What do you think?" I stood up and posed for Edward.

"I think I have an even better reason to make this group meeting go fast and get to the concert. There are no words that can do justice to how wonderful you look." He stood up from my desk and walked over to me. His lips met my forehead and I heard myself sigh with contentment. "I have to go Bella." He sounded as sad as I felt.

"Yeah I know. Just try and get there as soon as you can." I looked up into his eyes.

"I'll be there before you've even had time to miss me. I love you."

"I love you too." He leaned down to kiss me and then turned to leave the room.

"Relax Bella. He will get to the show as soon as possible." Rosalie said fixing a stray hair.

"I'm not nervous about him or about the show. I just have this bad feeling that I can't seem to shake. I guess it's about time." I said as Emmett came and stood in the doorway.

"Come on Jelly Belly. You've got fans waiting for you." Emmett had a big smile on his face that showed off his dimples.

We all walked out of Preston and headed to Emmett's Jeep parked nearby. We all squeezed in and headed over to New Brookland tavern. I smiled when I saw Britt and Embry unloading their equipment as I pulled up. I jumped out of the jeep and walked over to them.

"I love to see men hard at work." Embry spun around with his violin case in his hand. He whistled when he saw me.

"This is why we like having you in the band. Britt does not look nearly as good in a skirt. You ready for tonight?"

"Do I not look ready?" I tried to exude confidence, but something still felt off.

"Do you guys need help unloading?" Emmett came up behind me and threatened to mess with my hair.

"Emmett don't you dare. I worked too hard on her hair for you to mess it up!' Alice screamed at him causing me to laugh.

We emptied all of the gear out of Britt's car and got to work setting everything up on stage. I was talking to Embry while Britt worked on sound check when I felt a chill run up my spine. I swung around to see James entering the bar.

"Bella what in the world is wrong? I haven't seen you this pale since that night in the hospital."

"James is here." I could hear how dead my voice sounded. I needed to get a grip.

"Where?" Embry was searching the bar.

"He's at the entrance." Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett hurried over to where I stood.

"What's wrong? You can't possibly be nervous are you?" I felt the panic began to rise, but decided to fight it.

"James is here." That was the only reply I gave as I looked away from the door and towards my friends.

"Are you going to be good to perform?" I looked to Embry and focused ont eh kindness of his face.

"Yeah. I think I can do this." I said surprising even myself with how true the statement rang. I looked over to Emmett who face was beet red.

"Emmett, I know I'm like a little sister to you, but I can't have you beating him up. I need to know that you are calm enough to look out for me while I'm up there. Please Emmett look me in the eyes." Emmett shifted his stare from James to me. I saw the harsh look soften almost instantaneously.

"I'll refrain, but he tries anything than I cannot control my reaction." I nodded, hugging him before the four of them sat at a table closer to the stage. I walked over to Embry and could see the anger in his face.

"It's not going to help any of us if you sit there and stare at him all night." I sat beside him on the edge of the stage.

"I'm not sure how you can be so clam right now." He said looking over at me. "He is the reason your ribs were broken."

"You don't have to remind me. I was there, remember?" I looked down at the dirty floor by our feet.

"How are you so calm right now?" His stare was penetrating into my soul.

"I can't change what happened, but he's on my turf surrounded by my friends. He can't hurt me here. Come on Em. We have a show to perform." I got up on stage and made sure that my microphone stand was where I wanted it and made every effort not to look over to James. I could not wait until I saw Edward. Embry walked over to Britt and had a brief conversation before coming back over to me.

"Let's do this shit." We all walked back to the back room as the manager walked up to the stage to introduce us. I heard him giving the introduction, but was no paying full attention.

"We are going to do the No Doubt song first. We will take it from there. We'll most likely do a song with a lead to give you a chance to catch your breath. Everyone understand?" Britt looked around and once everyone nodded, we took the stage.

I was first up tonight. I stepped up to the microphone and began to sing.

_Take this pink ribbon off my eyes  
I'm exposed  
And it's no big surprise  
Don't you think I know  
Exactly where I stand  
This world is forcing me  
To hold your hand  
'Cause I'm just a girl, little 'ol me  
Don't let me out of your sight  
I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite  
So don't let me have any rights_

Oh...I've had it up to here!  
The moment that I step outside  
So many reasons  
For me to run and hide  
I can't do the little things I hold so dear  
'Cause it's all those little things  
That I fear

'Cause I'm just a girl I'd rather not be  
'Cause they won't let me drive  
Late at night I'm just a girl,  
Guess I'm some kind of freak  
'Cause they all sit and stare  
With their eyes

I'm just a girl,  
Take a good look at me  
Just your typical prototype 

I looked to Alice who was jumping up and down in her seat with Rosalie also swaying back and forth to the music. I smiled as I continued the song.

_Oh...I've had it up to here!  
Oh...am I making myself clear?  
I'm just a girl  
I'm just a girl in the world...  
That's all that you'll let me be!  
I'm just a girl, living in captivity  
Your rule of thumb  
Makes me worry some_

I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?  
What I've succumbed to Is making me numb  
I'm just a girl, my apologies  
What I've become is so burdensome  
I'm just a girl, lucky me  
Twiddle-dum there's no comparison  
Oh...I've had it up to!  
Oh...I've had it up to!  
Oh...I've had it up to here!

That song was high energy and always had me out of breath by the end. The crowd was cheering and I could not help but smile in response. I looked around the crowd and waved before grabbing my bottle of water on my stool and sitting down. As I was looking around, I noticed James's glare and rolled my eyes in response. Embry was introducing the band members. After his introductions, He began the next song, looking dead at me as he began.

_Hey, girl, you know you drive me crazy  
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.  
Still I'll never understand why you hang around  
I see what's going down._

Cover up with makeup in the mirror  
tell yourself, it's never gonna happen again  
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

I should have known when James walked in the door that he would choose a song like this to perform. Embry loved to make a point. I took another long draw from my water, wishing that it was something else entirely, As Embry shifted his stare onto James.

_Do you feel like a man when you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found._

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect  
every action in this world will bear a consequence  
If you wade around forever, you will surely drown  
I see what's going down.

I see the way you go and say you're right again,  
say you're right again  
Heed my lecture.  
  
_Do you feel like a man when you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has..._

One day she will tell you that she has had enough  
It's coming round again.

_Do you feel like a man when you push her around?  
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end  
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has..._

Face down in the dirt, she said,  
"This doesn't hurt", she said,  
"I finally had enough."

James was furious. I could only assume that he had thought that I had kept the abuse a secret. I found myself not really caring what he thought. I got up and performed a few more songs before it was time for a quick break.

"I'm going to run to the bathroom quick Em."

"Why don't you ask Alice or Rose to go with you?" He asked putting his guitar down on his stand.

"Because I'm just going to the bathroom and this place is full of people. I'll be fine." He rolled his eyes as I began to walk away. "Tell Edward that I'll be right back if he comes in. He should be here any minute." He nooded as I turned around and headed toward the restroom. I had just finished washing my hands when the door opened and James walked in.

"What in the hell do you want?" I spat furious that he had the nerve to approach me.

"Who the fuck do you think you are talking to Bells?"

"I'm talking to the worthless piece of shit who has made my life a living hell in the past, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let him do it again." I tried to pass him but he cut me off.

"Where do you think you are going?" He asked as his eyes narrowed.

"I'm going back to my performance and you are going back home. Just leave me be." I tried to pass him again and this time he pushed me and I fell back against the stall door. I felt a shock go through my whole body as the back of my head hit the door. I slowly opned my eyes and looked up as he descended on my. I felt his swift punch to my recently healed ribs and then a stomp on my right leg. I laughed at the fact that I had set this up when I had not listened to Embry. He smacked me hard on my right cheek and I felt the blood drip down my lip.

That's when I heard the door open and saw Edward enter quickly followed by security who removed James off of me as Edward came to my side.

"Oh my Bella." He said kneeling beside me. "Are you ok?"

"My head hurts. I'm sorry Edward. I should have had Alice or Rose to come with me like Embry suggested. I'm too stubborn for my own good."

"Shhh Bella. Let's get you up first. Can you stand?" I nodded as I stood up and instantly felt a little shaky.

"I'm feeling really sick Edward." I said grabbing onto Him as He pciked me up and carried me just outside the bathroom and sitting me on a chair just outside the door. I could see my friendsall huddled around as I saw the police officer walking in my direction.

"Miss Swan, I'm officer Clearwater. Security called about an incident. May I ask what happened tonight?" His voice was very tender as he spoke to me. I looked up at him and saw his eyes soften more when he saw the blood on my lip and the bruise forming on my check.

"My ex boyfriend cornered me in the bathroom. I tried to get around him to rejoin my friends and he asked me where I was going. I informed him that I was returning to my friends and to the band as I sing with them. I tried to walk past him again and he pushed me. I fell back and hit my head very hard on the Stall door." I felt Edward tensing up bedise me and looked to see the anger in his eyes. I stroked his arm lightly and felt him relx as I told the officer the rest of the story.

"Has this occurred before miss Swan?" He asked writing in his notebook

"He has been abusive before. I did not press charges at the time because I thought that the relationship was over and he would leave me alone. Apparently I was wrong. Presbyterian Hospital kept the x-rays and photos on file and Edward witnessed the incident." My voice sounded dead, but I just could not give James the satisfaction of bothering me.

"I just need you to sign this statement, and then we will get you to the hospital." I nodded and then took his pen and signed the statement. I walked out with Edward by my side to the ambulance just outside the bar. I avoided the concerned looks for my friends and retreated to Edward's arms. He bent over and lifted me carrying me the rest of the way to the ambulance. The EMT strated to look me over as Edward told my friends where they were taking me.

"Can he ride with me?" I asked the EMT who nodded as he checked my blood pressure. I laid on the gurney and cried as I felt Edward rubbing my cheeks with his hand. At least this time he was with me, and I had stood up to James.

**EPOV**

I was working on my project when I just knew that something was wrong. I knew I couldn't reach any of our friends as they were at Bella's show and would not be able to hear their phones. I spent the rest of the meeting bouncing in my seat waiting for us to be finished. Once I knew my assignment and we reached a stoppoing point, I excused myself and ran to my car. I broke several traffic laws on the way to the bar. When I walked in the band was on a brake, but I saw security running towards the bathrooms. I followed behind them passing all of our friends on the way. I felt the electric charge getting stronger as we approached the bathroom. When they opened the door, they went after a guy who they saw beating a woman on the floor, who I knew to be my Bella almost instantly. I flew to her side as I saw them take the guy away. I vaguely heard James's voice, but was too focussed on Bella to be concerned with who did this to her.

I stayed with her as the officer discussed the details. Bella was shutting down. The officer did not know her well enough to her it in her voice. She clearly explained what all happened, but the tone in her voice made it obvious to anyone who knew her, that he mind was shutting it all off. I carried her to the ambulance leaving her side long enough to tell Embry and our friends where she was going. Embry looked pissed but told me that he had to finished the show. I simply nodded before returning to my Bella.

She was laying on the gurney when I stepped up into the ambulance.I had heard her ask the EMT if I could ride with her. I sat beside her and ran my fingers along her cheek. I tried to remain calm as I saw the bruising becoming more pronounced.

"Miss Swan, how is your head feeling?" The EMT asked as we began to pull away from the bar.

"It's pretty sore. I'm feeling like I could throw up too." She looked from the EMT to me as a tear fell down her face.

"It sounds like you may have a concussion. When we get to the ER, the police will be there two. They will be taking picures of your injuries as a team assesses your injuries. Are you in any pain?" She nodded and then reached for my hand and squeezed. I gently squeezed her hand back so that she knew that I was with her. We got to the ER and were met by police and a medical team just of the EMT advised. I tried to stay out of the way while still letting Bella see me.

"Miss Swan I'm Dr. Banner the ER attending on duty. We are going to send you up to get a MRI done to determine if you sustained a concussion. Your friend will not be able to come up with us."

"That's fine. May I speak with him real quick first?" She said very softly.

"Yes, you may." He answered before waving me forward.

"Edward, will you tell everybody what's going on while I'm up there? They will be worried like you are right now." I nodded as I grabbed her hand and brought it to my lips. "I love you Edward. I'll be fine. I have you." A small smile broke out on her face and the orderly came to take her to get the MRI.

"I'll be back with you as soon as they let me, love." She nodded as she was rolled out. I walked slowly to the waiting room to let everyone know Bella's status. As I entered, I immediately locked my sight onto Alice who was curled up in Jasper's lap crying while Rose and Emmett sat next to them in silence. Emmett saw me first and came over and crushed me in his typical bear hug fashion.

"How is she Eddie?" Worry was showing all over his face.

"She is awake and alert. They just took her up to get an MRI as they believe she has a concussion. Then they will take her to radiology so they can take xrays of her leg and chest. She cheek is already bruising, but she is staying strong. I think she is more worried about me then herself."

"That sounds like our Bella." Jasper said whiping Alice's tears as she chuckled at Jasper's comment.

"Yeah. Did Embry say how long he'd have to stay to finish the show?" I asked sitting across from the group and trying not to despair.

"He had at least an house left. He was not happy about it. I could tell he really wanted to be coming with us, but they have a contract." Rose looked as tired as I felt.

"Yeah, I know that feeling well. Do we know what happened to him?" I could hear the venom in my own voice against James. A possesiveness and anger was rolling over me in waves.

"He was being taken to jail the last we saw before we came hear. How did he know where she was?" Alice was playing the Jasper's hair while talking. My guess was she was doing anything which would keep her calm.

"Who knows? He could know someone who goes to school here and would know she was performing. Bella has told me before that plenty of people that went to school with her chose to come to school here."

"How are you holding up Edward?" Jasper calm blue eyes were penetrating my calm façade.

"I'm a mess, but at least I'm here for her this time. I hate seeing her hurt." My head feel into my hands and I began crying for the first time since I could remember. I felt a hand rubbing circles in my back as I heard my name being called. I jumped up and all but ran over to the nurse.

"I'm Edward Cullen." I said whiping the tears, that had yet to fall from my eyes, away.

"Right this way. She started asking for you as soon as she got back down here. I think you have an admirer." She smiled trying to ease the anxiousness she could feel emanating from me.

"We are much more than that to each other.' I said quietly as I followed her to a small exam room. Bella was lying on the gurnery with her eyes closed. I walked over to her and grabbed her hand gently hoping that she was resting.

"Hmmmm Edward." She looked up at me. "they gave me medicine for my head. I have a concussion, but no broken bones."

"That's good love. I don't know how you would feel if you had a cast or another brace." I tried to smile and make light of things, but she wasn't buying it.

"You've been crying." It was not a question, but a statement. I nodded in affirmation afraid to open my mouth. "Listen to me. I'm fine, banged up, but overall I'm doing well. I'm pressing charges this time. I'm standing up for myself. I can do that now because of all the help you and my friends have given me. I can't say that I'm sorry this happened strictly because it's proven to me that I am so much stronger now.' I searched her eyes and found she was right.

"You are pretty damn strong, but you always have been Bella. You just did not see it." I said looking down at the IV they put into her arm.

"I can see it now, Edward. A large part of that is because of you. I love you."

"I love you too my Bella. Can we not go through this again though? I was scared to death."

"I'll do my best my love." She lifted up and grabbed the back of my head pulling me towards her and kissed me. Her kiss could make almost anything going on around us disppear.

****Hey Guys. The two songs the band performed are No Doubt's Just a Girl and Red Jumpsuit Apparatus's Face Down. I hope you enjoyed the update.**** 


	14. Chapter 14

****Thanks for the reviews. They inspire me to keep going. I don't own Twilight or any of the characters.***

**BPOV**

His kiss seemed more effective in easing the pain in my head than any narcotic the doctors could have given me. He sighed at the contact as he stood back up and grabbed my hand in his. We were just staring at each other when I heard someone clearing their throat in the doorway.

"Dr. Banner, will you please tell my worrisome boyfriend that I will be fine?" I said winking at Edward.

"Well, I just looked over your scans. You do have a concussion but no broken bones. From what my techs tell me, you already wormed that information out of them. You must be pretty stubborn to con my staff into giving you the results so quickly."

"She can be very persuasive." Edward said as he began rubbing circles on the back of my hand.

"What can I say doc? I'm too curious to wait when the answer is right in front of me." I shrugged my shoulders and tried to give him my most innocent expression.

"Remember what they say about curiosity and cats, Isabella. Officer Clearwater will be coming in a few minutes and I will be back shortly with your discharge papers." He turned around and went to the nurses' station where I could see him filling out the paperwork.

"How is everyone in the waiting room?" I said glancing back at Edward from under my lashes.

"Worried. I told them how strong you were being. I'd say they are doing a little better now." He said leaning down and kissing my forehead.

"What about you, Edward?" I looked at the emerald pools and saw the tension just under the surface.

"I had a feeling something was wrong. When I got there, I just knew where you were. I cannot put into words what I was feeling in that moment. Then you looked up at me with blood streaming down your lip and all I could think was that I had to keep it together for you." His head dropped and he began looking at the floor.

"Edward, I know what you are scared of and let me make something perfectly clear. No matter what happens as long as you love me, I will always come back to you." I felt myself biting my lip hoping I'd gotten through to him. He looked up at me with a smile on his face.

"I will never doubt again. I guess I just felt as helpless as I did the last time." His eyes shifted showing he was still nervous.

"It's different this time. First, you are still here. Second, I'm a stronger woman now than I was then. One thing hasn't changed." I said as I ran my hand through his hair.

"You still have impeccable timing. I'm not sure I would be as well as I am had you not showed up."

"I cannot think about what might have happened Bella. I don't have the strength." He said looking away at the nausea inducing mint green walls of the exam room.

"Then don't think about that Edward. Think about us being together." I continued to run my hand through his hair and he laid his head on my lap.

"Forever." He murmured.

"Forever." I whispered in agreement shocked by the truth that resounded in our words. I looked up from Edward to see officer Clearwater walking towards the room. He nodded to me as he walked in and Edward sat up and released my hand.

"I have just come from the station where I interviewed James. Well, tried to interview him. He is not saying anything. They are going to be holding him until Monday. I would need to take a few photos for evidence and the doctors are getting me copies of the scans." I nodded as he took out a camera. Edward stepped back to give Clearwater room. When he lifted the blanket to take pictures of my bruised leg, I saw Edward tense up. My eyes never left Edward throughout the rest of the process. I felt so vulnerable laying on that gurney with pictures being taken.

"Thanks Isabella. I know that was not easy. I'll be in touch as we have any new information. Try to get some rest."

"Please call me Bella. Thank you for all of your help." I tried to smile, but I just couldn't. Edward was back by my side. Officer Clearwater nodded and exited as Dr. Banner walked back in.

"Ok Miss Swan. Here are your discharge papers. Do you have any questions?"

"No sir. I've had a concussion before. I'll know if I need to come back."

"Very well. You take it easy." He said as he shook our hands before leaving the room. A nurse came in to lead us to the waiting room and toward our friends. I had to sit in the wheel chair as far as the waiting room.

"Don't be embarrassed Bella. It's protocol." Edward said walking beside me.

"I'm not embarrassed." I said rolling my eyes and biting my lip.

"Then why are you blushing?" I looked up at him and saw a twinkle in his eye.

"Ok so maybe I am embarrassed. You would be too." His tensed and looked back up.

As we entered the waiting room, I saw Embry, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett sitting in the corner all of whom looked very tense and stressed. Then Embry's face jerked up and stared straight at me. He got up quickly and rushed over to us.

"Are you ok?" He asked as he bent down and looked at me eye to eye.

"I'll be fine. Let's go to the others so I don't have to repeat this." I stood up from the wheelchair with Edward's help and leant on him as we walked towards the group. I walked slowly as my leg was pretty sore from James stomping on it. The waiting room was pretty busy as it was Saturday night. My friends did not let me get far before they closed the distance between us.

"Oh Bella are you okay? We were so worried. What did the doctor say?" Alice spoke so quickly that I hardly was able to make out what she said.

"Alice, let her breathe and slow down. You are making me anxious talking so quickly." Rosalie said as she grabbed Emmett's hand. I looked to Emmett who was looking at the ground and refused to look at me. I slowly removed myself from Edward's grip and walked to Emmett putting my hand under his strong chin and trying to lift his head so he would look at me.

"I'm going to be fine. I have a concussion, but everything else is just bruises and will hopefully fade quickly." I said as I felt all of their eyes on me including Emmett's.

"I should have taken him out when I had the chance." He murmured under his breath.

"I should have listened to Embry. We could stand here and could have, would have, should have all night, but it isn't going to do anything now. I'm going to be fine, now stop being grumpy and give me a piggy back ride to the car." A grin slowly spread on his face and he twirled around and jumped on his back causing everyone to laugh. He took me to the parking garage where I saw Edwards's car next to Emmett's Jeep.

"I drove it here for him. I didn't want to leave it at the tavern." Jasper said answering the question on my face, as Emmett put me down gently.

"Come on love. Let's get you home." Edward said opening the passenger side door for me. He closed the door and said something to Jasper and Alice before getting into the car. "Alice and Jasper are sleeping in your room. I'd feel more comfortable if you stayed with me. Is that okay?" He said as he started the car.

"Of course. I would love to be with you alone right now anyway. I love them, but I just want to be with you right now." A dazzling smile came on his face as he backed out of the parking space and sped back to Preston. Before I knew it, I was being nudged awake by Edward. He had opened my door and was lifting me out of the car.

"Emmett can you close the door. Sleep Bella. You need to rest." I heard a car door close and could tell Edward was walking towards the building.

"I love you Edward." I rested my head on his shoulder and he looked down at me with the perfect crooked smile on his face.

"As I love you." He looked up as Jasper opened the front door for him and Emmett ran ahead to open the other doors for him. Finally, I was being carried into Edward's room and laid on the bed.

"I'll be in my room tonight if you need any help Edward. Jasper and Alice are already downstairs. Rosalie is staying with me tonight."

"Thanks Emmet. I'll let you know if I need any help, but I think I have it for now." I scooted over in the bed and Edward sat beside me.

"Cool Deal. Get some rest, Bella. I'll see you guys tomorrow." He said waling out of the room.

"Night Em." I said loudly as I heard the door softly close.

"Are you comfortable enough in your outfit, or do you want to change?" Edward leaned down and asked as he moved a strand of hair out of my face.

"I would love to change into something." I said peering up at him and trying to stifle my yawn.

"I've got just the thing." He said as he stood up and walked to his dresser. "Here is a pair of pants and a shirt. Do you need help?" I nodded and stood up as he helped me change from my outfit and into a pair of his sweat pants and his high school baseball jersey with his name on the back.

"Let's lay you down. You've had a hard night." He said lifting me up again and laying me on his bed. He crawled in behind me and held me as I cuddled up to him and rested my head on his chest. I was asleep in no time.

**EPOV**

It seemed like she fell asleep the moment she rested her head on my chest. I reflected how strong she was being. A part of me worried that it was a role she had learned to play so well over the years of both physical and verbal abuse that she endured. I just hoped that she was being honest with me. I was almost asleep when I heard Bella beginning to whimper.

"Edward, I'm sorry Edward. Don't leave me again." My heart shattered at those words. Does she still feel subconsciously that I could walk away from her? I shook my head in frustration. I guess there would be nothing I could do but show her in time.

"Bella, love, I am not going anywhere. I could never leave you." I said running my hand through her silky locks of mahogany hair. I was up for a little longer hearing her whimper before she began to tremble in her sleep.

"James please don't. STOP!" I sat bolt upright and tried to gently shake Bella awake.

"Bella, love, you are just having a nightmare. Wake up for me sweets." I said as her eyes began to open. "That's my girl wake up." She woke up further and looked at me in confusion before the tears began to build in her eyes. She sat up and clung to me. "I'm here love. I'm not going anywhere."

She pulled away and looked into my eyes. "I know you aren't going anywhere Edward. What did I say?" She had tears falling still but appeared much calmer.

"You asked for me not to leave you again and then you were whimpering before you begged James to stop." She winced as I recalled the panic evident on her sleeping face.

"He wasn't hurting me Edward, well not physically. In my nightmare, he was hurting something more precious to me than me. He was hurting you. He tried to kidnap you and then he was hurting you." She looked in my eyes and a tear began to run down her bruised cheek. I gently rubbed the tears away and pulled her close to me.

"I'm not going anywhere. He's in jail and cannot hurt me. I'm not going anywhere. I have too much here to ever feel the desire to leave." I pulled her closer to me and just couldn't seem to be close enough. Before I knew what was happening, Bella threw her arms around me and her lips crashed against mine. I leaned into the embrace and we kissed until almost all the breath was out of my body before I gently pulled back.

"Bella, you need to take it easy babe. You've had a rough night." She pulled back a little further and I got an even better look into her eyes. I couldn't make out the emotion in them.

"I've had much worse nights than this one Edward. What I really need to for you to make love to me. I need to feel the love the two of us share that no one can destroy. I need you, please don't deny me that!" Her eyes were pleading more than her voice.

"You of all people know that I cannot deny you anything." I closed the distance between us and captured her lips with mine. I moaned at the contact as I rolled her onto her back and pressed myself as close to her as I could. Nothing in my life has ever felt as right as Bell and I together. My entire body seemed to hum with the energy between us. I released her lips as I began kissing her neck and nibble on her earlobes to give us a chance to catch our breath.

"Oh Edward. I need you." She said as she looked at me under hooded eyes. That was all I needed. We made love the rest of the night. Finally, we both fell asleep in each others arms with no nightmares to disrupt us. I was just glad to be able to hold my Bella as I had once feared that I would never be able to do.

I woke up the next morning and was met by a beautiful pair of brown eyes looking right at me.

"Good morning Mr. Cullen. I trust you slept well." She said as I flinched when noticing the bruising on her face had gotten worse.

"What's wrong?" She asked as I saw her insecurity behind her eyes.

"This is wrong, Bella," I answered as I ran my hand gently down her cheek. "He should have never gotten to you again. Some protector I turn out to be."

"I thought I made it clear to everyone last night that I'm not going to stand for you blaming yourselves. It won't change anything. I also know for a fact that you are a great protector Edward, but no one can be there twenty-four seven. It's just not reasonable." She said sitting up and huffing at me while crossing her arms against her bare chest. She stood up and dressed in my clothes as I slide on a pair of pj pants, not knowing when Jasper would come back.

"Point understood, Bella. I am trying love, but I'm so mad that he hurt you again." I said approaching her again and pulling her into my arms.

"Then be mad at him and not at yourself." She said quietly as I placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"You're right again Miss Swan. I'll try my best." We stood there for a few minutes until there was a soft knock on the door followed by Jasper and Alice entering into the room.

"Good Morning! How are you two this morning?" Alice was less chipper than usual in the morning.

"We're great, but still tired," answered the angel in my arms. I kissed her forehead before hearing her phone begin to ring. She walked over, smiled at the screen, and answered the phone. "I was wondering how long it would take you to call." She looked over to me and shook her head and mouthed that she would explain in a few minutes. As she continued her conversation, I busied myself with menial tasks in an attempt to avoid eavesdropping. At length, she hung up the phone and walked back over to me placing her head on my shoulder.

"I have to call my parents. I don't want them to find out from someone else. Do you mind if I run down to my room and talk to them? I just need to be alone when I do this."

"Of course dear. I'll be right here when you are done." I tried to smile but couldn't help but wonder about the phone call. She was halfway out of the door when she turned around and looked back at me.

"It was Laurent, James's roommate. James called him to get him to help him to bail out. Laurent said he would help alright. What he didn't tell James is that his way of helping was to call James's dad. Let's just say that James's dad is not close to James. From what Laurent knows at this time, James's dad has threatened to exclude James from the will if he does not accept responsibility for his actions. He has refused to help James with bail." She said as a smile played on her lips. She walked over to me and pulled me into a kiss. "Serves the bastard right huh?" She said before giving me another peck before walking out of the room.

"Well, she has definitely come into her own these last few months. She is still our Bella, but it's nice to see the change in her." Alice said sitting on Jaspers bed with her feet dangling over the edge.

"The funny thing is that she was like that all along, but the bastards brought her down. It's good to see her like this." I said knowing that even the worst events that had occurred within the last few months had played a part in Bella's transformation.


	15. Chapter 15

***This is the last chapter. I hope you enjoy. I am working on a new story, but will be attempting to get it almost done before I begin posting. I do not own twilight or any of the Characters portrayed within. Those belong to Stephanie Meyer. ***

**BPOV**

I walked down the hall with a smile creeping onto my face. Edward and I had never been better. We somehow find a way to break down all the walls that had been in our way previously. To top it all off, James was in jail where he belonged. I had finally become strong enough to stand up to him, or maybe I just realized that I was worth more than the treatment I received from him. I couldn't help but be hopeful that everything would turn out for the best.

Before I knew it, I was outside of my dorm room. I walked in and sat at my desk placing my phone on top. This was the part I was dreading the most. I had to tell my parents. I picked up the phone and pressed the speed dial for home and waited for their answer.

"Good Morning Sweets." I took a deep breath as I heard my father's voice on the line.

"Umm Hey Dad." I said "How are you two this morning?"

"What's wrong Bella?" Charlie said in his normal matter of fact tone.

"There was a small incident last night. I'm fine, but I wanted you to hear about it from me." I took a deep breath and waited before I continued.

"Go on Bella. I'm listening."

"I was performing last night and James showed up at the show. I went to the bathroom and he cornered me there. He got a few hit in before Edward and security stopped him. I was taken by ambulance to the hospital. They said everything is fine, but I decided to file charges against him." I spoke quickly as I wanted to move past this mess as soon as possible.

"I'm glad you are filing charges, but more importantly I'm glad that you are ok." My father said after a brief silence. "How long was he doing this while you were together?" I felt the tears build in my eye.

"About three or four months before we broke up, but I was in school and away from him most of that time." I wiped the tears from my face ashamed that I kept this from my father.

"Oh Isabella. You should have said something to someone. At least you're safe now." He said with a soft tone.

"I'm sorry Dad." I began fiddling with a pen on my desk as I tried not to cry anymore.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Isabella. You're standing up to him. That's what truly maters. I have to run, but I want you to know that we are proud of you honey."

"Thanks Dad. I'll talk to you soon."

"Talk to you soon." He said before the line disconnected. I breathed a sigh of relief and felt a whole lot lighter now that the conversation was over. I had felt that I had been letting everyone down including myself. Now that I was pressing charges, I felt a since of repentance for not speaking up earlier. I stood up and walked over to the mirror. I saw the bruise on my face and shook my head. I've had worse, but never on my face for the world to see. I grabbed my towel and robe and headed to the shower, hoping that the hot water would ease my tense muscles.

I stood under the water losing all track of time; the events from the previous night playing over and over in my mind. The more the replayed in my head, the more I realized that the attack was a last ditch effort from James to regain control. He had controlled me for years with his mental and physical abuse, and had never been obvious to anyone outside of the two of us. The abuse escalated as his control began to slip away. A laugh escaped me as I realized that the attack really showed the freedom that I had gained and James's poor reaction to it. If this had to happen in order for me to gain my freedom and become the Isabella that Jake knew, then I would gladly go through it all again. At length, I exited the shower and snuggled up in my garnet colored robe. I wrapped my hair in a towel and walked into the room.

"You were taking awhile. I just wanted to check on you." Edwards was sitting at my desk his emerald eyes focused on me and betrayed his concern. A smile crept onto my face as I walked over and climbed onto his lap.

"I was just thinking that I wouldn't change what happened last night for anything." I hesitated waiting for his response which came sooner that I thought.

"How can you possibly say that?" His hands bunched into fist around me and the tension in his voice was evident.

"It is actually easy for me to say that Edward, because I fought back. I didn't just let him get away with it. It also showed me that you are sticking around even during the rough times." Our faces had gravitated towards one another and we were now nose to nose. I saw the hurt in his eyes at my last statement.

"I will never forgive myself for that." I nodded in response while looking into the deeps pools of green before me.

"I can't regret anything that's happened Edward. It brought me to you. I hope one day you see that, but let's focus on the now. I'm getting hungry." I said kissing his nose before getting up and heading to my closet.

"Tease." He said as I saw him adjusting himself.

"I'm no tease, I fully intend on following through, but not until after I eat." I said as Edward just shook his head at my response and turned towards my computer as I finished getting ready.

After breakfast, I received the call from the detective letting me know that James would be arraigned the next day at 3 pm. That would give me plenty of time to get there after class. I thanked him and told Edward the news. I knew that Edward would want to be there with me, and that I could not deny him that. What I could not decide, was if it would be harder or easier on me to have him there. Ultimately, I knew that he being there was what I really needed, not because I couldn't handle it on my own, but because I simply wanted him to be with me.

I walked up the court house steps at 2:30 the next day with Edward holding my hand the whole way. As I was walking to the courtroom, I was approached by a tall, dark skinned man with jet black hair. He held out his hand I took it and gave a firm shake, before pulling back.

"You must be Miss Swan. I am Sam Uley, the prosecutor for your case. This is just the arraignment, so he will put in his plea and the issue of bail will be discussed. Do you have any questions?"

"No, sir. I think I understand." I said putting my arm through Edward's again.

"Well, let's get in there." He opened the door for Edward and me. I walked down the aisle and sat on a wooden bench towards the front of the room. I could see the tables for the defendants and prosecutors perfectly. I looked around the room and caught a glimpse of James's father in the pew directly behind the defense table. I took a sharp breath and Edward's eyes followed mine. James was brought into the court in an Orange jumpsuit with Richland County on the back and handcuffs. I shifted my eyes to the Judges' seat.

"You're safe Bella. I'm right here, my love." a velvety voice whispered into my ear. I rested my head on his shoulder as he rubbed my arm.

"All Rise." The Bailiff said, as everyone stood up in respect for the Judge as she walked into the room.

"Please be seated. We are here today to discuss the case of the State of South Carolina vs. James Hunter." I moved even closer to Edward on the bench as she continued. "Mr. Hunter, you are charged with assault and battery in the first degree as well as a misdemeanor charge for possession of a controlled substance. How do you plead?" She judge looked directly at James over her glasses that sat on the end of her nose waiting for James's response.

"Guilty, your honor." I heard him say clearly as my head spun around to look at him.

"Very well, Mr. Uley I understand a plea agreement has been reached. Is that so?"

"Yes your honor. The State has agreed to a year in prison, time in a residential treatment facility, and three years of probation." Mr. Uley said as I sat there with my mouth wide open. Why did not one discuss the plea agreement with me? "Also, your honor, a stipulation would of course be that Mr. Hunter has no contact with Miss Swan, the victim."

"The plea is accepted and Mr. Hunter will serve a year in prison before his release into a residential treatment facility. Case closed." She banged her gavel and stood up.

"All Rise" the bailiff repeated and we rose watching the judge return to her office. I turned to Edward in shock.

"What in the hell just happened?" I asked as he stared at me in disbelief.

"Miss Swan." I turned to face the voice of the man behind me.

"Mr. Hunter." I nodded as I felt Edward grab my hand in his.

"I wanted to let you know how sorry I am about James's behavior. I know you feel like maybe his punishment wasn't severe enough, but I wanted to let you know that he will never bother you again. I will make sure of that." He said firmly.

"I hope and pray that is the case Mr. Hunter, but it is not just me that I am worried about with all due respect." I said biting my lip and flinching remembering the bruising.

"When he is released I will be watching him like a hawk Miss Swan. A certain friend of yours has alerted me to James's issues." He said while his eyes were penetrating mine.

"Jake or Laurent?" I asked as his eyes widened in surprise.

"Laurent, though Mr. Black had expressed concerns a week or so prior to his death. I apologize for not believing him then. I once again assure you that you will be safe now. If you'll excuse me." He simply bowed his head before walking out of the courtroom.

"Did that just happen?" I asked turning towards Edward.

"I was about to ask you the same question. Let's go back home." He kissed my forehead and his hand landed on the small of my back.

"How are we going to explained this to everyone?"

"One word at a time my love. Maybe then I can be convinced this wasn't a dream as well." He lead me out of the courtroom and to Preston.

**Two Years Later**

"Bella, are you finished showering yet?" Alice asked as she stuck her head in the bathroom.

"Just finished rinsing my hair. I'll be out in a minute." I shut off the water as I threw my hair up in a towel and dried off, putting on my underwear and preparing myself to go be Bella Barbie.

"It's about time Bella." Alice said grabbing my wrist and shoving me into a chair with Rosalie laughing behind us.

"Alice, Edward will have your head if you harm one hair on that girl's head." Rosalie said as she took my hair out of the towel and began running a comb through it.

"Yeah, yeah. I can handle Edward. We have an hour and a half to get ready before the banquet starts. It was the night of the Gatsby Banquet, we always had the banquet at the end of every school year in Preston. It was a formal event where the seniors were given there Preston cords to wear during graduation. Edward and I were both moving to Northwestern for graduate school.

I sat there and endured an hour and plucking, tweezing, curling, and makeup before I was free to stand up and put on my dress. My dress was a tea length blue dress which flowed out under the bust. I had fallen in love with it the moment I saw it on the hanger. Once we were all dress, we headed to the front of Preston for cocktail hour. The boys were in their suits and all had matching ties to our dresses. Alice was a force to be reckoned with.

"Why Miss Swan you are positively indecent in that dress and I wouldn't want it any other way." Edward said pulling me into his arms. "Although, I'm going have to fight off guys all night long."

"If they haven't figured out I'm yours by now, then they are idiots, and I have dated enough idiots for a lifetime." I laughed snuggling into his chest as he chuckled at my response.

We were sitting eating dinner in the back yard, when the ceremony started.

"I know that there are people still eating but we are going to get this show on the road." Said Mrs. Cope, the Preston Administrative assistant. "Every year we have to say goodbye to a group of talented, engaged residents, and every year my heart breaks. This year is no different. I will be going through the seniors and calling them up to receive cords. Then we have a surprise for everyone. Edward Cullen." Edward stood up and walked to the podium to receive his cords. And stayed up there while Mrs. Cope continued to call out names. Eventually, I was the only senior who had not been called and was sitting at the table alone. "And last, but never least, Isabella Swan." I walked towards the podium to a rush of applause. I hugged Mrs. Cope and bent down ever so slightly as she put the cords around my neck. "We will miss you my dear." I smiled and hugged her once again, not saying anything for fear of crying.

"Now Edward would like to give a little speech he has prepared for you all." Edward stepped up and took the microphone and straightened his blue tie.

"I am fortunate to have lived in Preston for all four years of my tenure here at USC. I can honestly say that these years have included some of the hardest and most beautiful moments of my life. It's bittersweet to say goodbye to Preston and Columbia. For four years, everyone here has been my family. But it is time to leave my home and make my own somewhere else." He turned to me and grabbed the microphone as he walked over to me. He handed it to Emmett and began to kneel in front of me. I gasped realizing what he was about to do.

"Isabella, my Bella, I have loved you since that first day in English. Will you do my the honor of marrying me and helping me build a new family?" I looked at him through the tears in my eyes. He grabbed my hands and I felt him shaking.

"Yes, Edward. The answer was always yes." He stopped shaking as he stood up and grabbed me in his arms spinning us around in a circle. Before putting me down and kissing me. The familiar tingle was still there as the whole of Preston broke into applause, and I sighed knowing life would always be great as long as he was by my side.


End file.
